Kids Say The Darndest Things

Discussion in 'General Education' started by bshreff, Mar 19, 2010.

  1. bshreff

    bshreff Rookie

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    Mar 19, 2010

    I am a Substitute Teacher in Florida, and I hear kids say some of the craziest, saddest, and just plain stupid things I've ever heard in my life. For example:

    Boy 1: 'Hey what's that mountain with all the dude's heads on it?'

    Boy 2: 'The one with the Presidents?'

    Boy 1: 'Yeah. I bet they haven't even seen themselves up there!'

    I'm not entirely sure if a statement like that should make me laugh at the ridiculousness or cry at the lack of education (especially since this was in a Senior level Language Arts class).

    Anyways, I'm curious to know what other things people have over heard kids say in a class room.

    P.S. I'm new here, so sorry if this is in the wrong place or similar to an older post.
     
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  3. Toak

    Toak Cohort

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    Mar 21, 2010

    We said things like that as jokes all the time in high school.

    Can't think of any things we said in high school, but I do remember the first snow fall of senior year. It started in English class and everyone ran to the window. Our teacher, who was about 24 years old didn't understand why kids who had lived in northern Pennsylvania for 18 years would be that excited about snow
     
  4. bshreff

    bshreff Rookie

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    Mar 22, 2010

    I wish these kids had been kidding...but not in some of the schools I'm in.
     
  5. Samothrace

    Samothrace Cohort

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    Mar 22, 2010

    This didn't happen to me..but a teacher I work with. On Thursdays she eats lunch with her class in her room. So she's at her desk eating...the class is eating at their desks. Out of NOWHERE one of her first graders says..Ms. So and So, Were you breastfed? So her intial thought..do I laugh and how does someone respond to that. She simply said no. But then another first grader joined in the convo...I was. Another said..So was I. ::continues eating lunch::

    Can we say....random?!
     
  6. jday129

    jday129 Comrade

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    Mar 22, 2010

    We were reading a level B book about a puppy who was bringing various items. As we did our picture walk I asked one little boy what the puppy was bringing (it was a blanket). He said a shirt. I said well let's check the word- it starts with "b" what could it be? His response "boxers!"
     
  7. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    Mar 22, 2010

    It's not "saying" per se, but my students have to write sentences with their vocabulary words and I got quite an interesting one to edit. One of our words is "fastened" and a girl held up her paper to ask me if her sentence was good. It said "I FASTENED MY ****." It took everything not to laugh as I told her to carefully check her spelling. :D
     
  8. greengables

    greengables Rookie

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    Mar 22, 2010

    I just had a student say to me very seriously, "You are the best teacher I've ever had." Of course, he's 4 and I'm the only teacher he's had so far but I appreciated the thought!:D
     
  9. looneyteachr

    looneyteachr Companion

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    Mar 27, 2010

    hahahahaha i taught sex ed one year and a question on a quiz was "where does the penis deposit sperm?" a kid answered "virginia" hahahahahahhahah

    had a kid start a short story with "whunsaponatime"
     
  10. Toak

    Toak Cohort

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    Mar 27, 2010

    That seems like a very bad question to ask...especially as it can have a million answers that aren't the one you are looking for, but are correct. ie a tramp stamp is considered to be gotten for that express purpose
     
  11. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    Mar 27, 2010

    A student asked me what a uni-Q was. I was all O O. I was thinking wtf is a uni-Q? Thinking it was a toy or something. I go why do you ask? She said to me "It's one of our spelling words." I promptly told her, 'That's unique."

    ETA: Me and CT go over how the word is said more than once. So, I have no idea how she thought it was uni-Q.
     
  12. Falcon Flyer

    Falcon Flyer Companion

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    Mar 28, 2010

    I overheard one of my first graders ask a fellow student why he picked his nose and ate it. I was of course, expecting shame, embarrassment, or even anger. Imagine my surprise, when he answered very matter-of-factly, "Because I'm hungry and it tastes good." Gross!
     
  13. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    Mar 29, 2010

    One of my ED kiddos licked the bus seat before I could stop her and said "Look Miss Z! I made a seahorse and a giraffe!"

    :D
     
  14. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    Mar 29, 2010

    I had a child yell out, "Did you here about the salamanders in the peanut butter?!" I thought, turned my head one way, thought some more, and thought some more because she followed with, "It was in the news", in a very exasperated tone. That's when it hit me and I started laughing. What she meant was, "Did you hear about the salmonella in the peanut butter?"
     
  15. Toak

    Toak Cohort

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    I used to chase the boys at recess in first grade - if I caught them I made them lick the tree (because it was the only thing I could think to do with them). They always licked it
     
  16. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    My friend's 5 year old daughter asked her why she didn't like her to pick her nose and ate it. Her daughter then told her that it tasted 'salty' and was good:lol:
     
  17. Roobunny

    Roobunny Comrade

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    Jan 14, 2013

    I know this is OLD, but now that I am teaching I can add a few:

    Several weeks ago one of the spelling words was "snip." One of my student's completed her homework assignment using the word in a sentence. The sentence? "I snip my bush every day."

    This isn't one of mine, but a co-worker told me of another teacher at a different school who had assigned her second grade students research reports on famous people in history. One student chose John Hancock, except the student wrote Hancock as "Hardcock."

    And it's only my first year! I can't wait for more of these :)
     
  18. SF_Giants66

    SF_Giants66 Cohort

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    Jan 14, 2013

    These examples aren't nearly as bad or as disturbing as the high school kids on twitter last year who didn't know the movie "Titanic" was based on an actual ship wreck.
     
  19. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Jan 15, 2013

    Last week one of my boys (I taught his mom) said, "My dad is for Notre Dame because they are Catholic." I replied, "oh yeah, is your dad Catholic?" He said yes, but Alabama is Baptist." It cracked me up.
     
  20. TeachingHistory

    TeachingHistory Companion

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    Jan 15, 2013

    Boy: Miss TH, do you have a Smartphone?

    Me: No M. I'm stuck in the stone age

    Boy: Does that mean you have an "i-stone"?

    And he said like he knew just how bad of a pun it was.
     
  21. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    Jan 15, 2013

    Oh, I wish I could remember more of these- I've heard so many!! But just yesterday I was putting a movie in for recess and I hadn't turned up the speaker yet when a little girl called out, "I can't hear!" I responded, as I reached to turn up the speaker, with, "Give me a minute!" A little boy yells to the girl: "Yeah! Give her a minute! Geesh! She's in her forties and she's a grandma, you know!" :lol:
     
  22. physteach

    physteach Companion

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    Jan 16, 2013

    I had a kid who expressed a lot of concern that the movie director killed all those people while making the movie. We had to explain that movies don't ACTUALLY happen.
     
  23. agriteacher

    agriteacher Rookie

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    Jan 19, 2013

    I drive a van for a preschool for special needs kids. On the way home we were listening to a kids music cd. One of the songs was "there's a spider on the floor, on the floor, there's a spider on the floor, on the floor, who could ask for any more than a spider on the floor there's a spider on the floor. as the song progresses, the spider climbs to your leg, neck, face and head then jumps back to the floor. One of the little boys who is sitting directly behind me says, "why don't you just kill the spider?" I just about died laughing from that.
     
  24. bubbles

    bubbles Rookie

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    Jan 19, 2013

    One day my class was singing the peanut song.. "found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut just now, I just now found a peanut, found a peanut, just now." After getting through quite a few verses including went to heaven, then "went to the other place" one of my students piped up and said.

    "Misses, are you sure that this is an appropriate song to be singing?" The fact that this is one of my sweetest youngins, made it impossible for me to keep a straight face.
     
  25. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Jan 19, 2013

    I asked bonus questions all the time and one time I asked "There are two official languages in Canada, English and what?"

    I had a kid yell out with the most enthusiasm in the world "BRAZILIAN!" *sigh* In high school, FYI.
     
  26. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    Jan 19, 2013

    One of my students was refusing to do our work yesterday. When I told him his grade might suffer if he did not do the assignment he said:

    "Well, Ms. ForSquare....One bump in the road wont tip over the whole bus!"

    :mellow: :lol:
     

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