Kids repeatedly ask to see their teacher from last year

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by JenEd, Sep 15, 2019.

  1. JenEd

    JenEd Rookie

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    Sep 15, 2019

    How do you deal with this?

    I teach second grade and my kids repeatedly ask me to go see their first grade teacher. All the time. We were coming in from recess and the first grade classes were going out. One of my students asked me if she can give her first grade teacher a hug. I said no. She went and did it anyway. They ask me if they can give her a hug/say hi whenever they see their teacher (every single time they see her in the hallway or at recess), they ask if they can go see her when they get work done, they ask if they can spend the entire day in her classroom, etc. It's constant all day 24/7 that they ask. And it prevents me from getting teaching done. One student in my class is allowed to see one of the first grade teachers twice a day, not his but one he has a close bond with because it's part of his behavior program. The other students see this and it's making the asking to see their first grade teacher questions worse. And they probably wonder if he can do it, why can't I?

    Maybe they don't understand this as they're just kids but it's very hurtful and very disrespectful to me. This has never happened to me before where the kids constantly 24/7 ask to see their teacher from last year. And I'm about done with it. I don't feel loved or respected by this class (not just this but other things too). Rough year so far and I don't see it getting any better. I need the money though and there aren't any other permanent postings right now, only temporary. And that won't pay the bills. Has anyone experienced kids being so disrespectful and constantly asking to go see their teacher from last year all day, every day? I'm telling the kids how disrespectful it is tomorrow and they will walk 5 minutes of their recess per each time they ask. There has to be a consequence for it or they won't ever stop.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2019
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  3. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Groupie

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    Sep 15, 2019

    I don't have any advice, but that does sound incredibly annoying!
     
  4. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    I can see that could get annoying. I don't think they are being disrespectful. They just see a student in the class that gets to see their 1st grade teacher and they want to do so also. I think you have to teach when they can see their former teachers and what is okay if they see a former teacher. For example, saying hi to a former teacher in the hallway is considered fine at our school, but running out of line and giving a hug all the time isn't okay. Then if they ask, just ask and say "remember, when did I say you could see your teacher?" I wouldn't punish them for asking to see a teacher. Punishments should be saved for misbehaving, not for asking an annoying question.
     
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  5. JenEd

    JenEd Rookie

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    Yes it is! My kids from last year didn't do this. Different school district and different grade (first) but still. The kids from last year just loved on me. Four of them came up at once to give me a group hug. Here I'm just not feeling the love :(
     
  6. JenEd

    JenEd Rookie

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    Thank you for the advice. The problem is they don't listen. Even when I say they can't run out of line to give their first grade teacher a hug, they do it anyway. Immediately after I just said no. That's being defiant and I feel like that should have a consequence, should it not? I think it started before the student of mine starting seeing the first grade teacher he has a bond with. It did get worse after that, but I'm pretty sure it was still occurring beforehand.

    I get not punishing them for asking an annoying question. But it's all day, all the time. And if they don't have a consequence for it, I don't think the behavior will ever stop. These kids have no discipline in the home so they don't care what you have to say or listen to you, unless there's a consequence associated with what you say (losing recess time, referral to the office, etc).
     
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  7. JenEd

    JenEd Rookie

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    At our school, they shouldn't even be saying hi to a former teacher in the hallway because our school rule is no talking in the hallway at all. I don't mind if they wave to her. That's not what they do though.
     
  8. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    I agree that if you say to not do something "Such as don't run and hug your teacher, but you can wave to her instead, and a student immediately defies you, yes a small consequence makes sense.

    I hope things get better. The beginning of 2nd grade, they often have a difficult time transitioning from 1st grade. They grow so much over the school year though. I wish you the best.
     
  9. mathmagic

    mathmagic Enthusiast

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    Sep 15, 2019

    Set boundaries, but I see nothing wrong with them having the opportunity to see their prior teacher here and there. If they know that you respect that aspect of them, and provide them opportunity (it doesn't have to be every day, but something),

    Remember Maslov's hierarchy of needs...love/belonging is a part of that. They're just starting their connection to you, and who knows, they may be feeling the same way in third grade that they are now, except this time with you!

    I had plenty of fifth graders visiting my classroom last year, whether to share about how the year was going, or to borrow a book from my class library. They loved having their fifth grade teacher, but they also liked that opportunity to visit.
     
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  10. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Sep 16, 2019

    I would be more concerned if these were older students wanting to see their teacher. The fact that one student is allowed to visit last year's teacher muddies the water, and you must realize that since the one "can" go, in their mind, what can possibly be the problem with them going, as well. The fact that you consider it disrespectful suggests that this is something personally annoying to you, more than a school problem. I can't tell if this is a new grade for you, how you feel about this placement, or if there is an insecurity at play here.
    Suddenly you have jumped into having consequences because "they have no discipline at home." That's a stretch, since now you are lumping all students into one "undesirable" category and calling for loss of recess time, or being sent to the office, I'm assuming, to be "corrected" by the principal. I think that you need to come up with an acceptable way (to you) for these students to acknowledge last year's teacher that isn't punitive. Something for you to consider.
     
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  11. JenEd

    JenEd Rookie

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    Yes I realize that. Unfortunately, the one student getting to see a first grade teacher (not even his first grade teacher, just one he is close with) wasn’t decided by me. It’s a behavior program set up by the school for him. They were asking before that though.

    How would you guys handle this? I was going to tell them if they want to see their first grade teacher they can see her before or after school. But they can’t just leave class to go see her during the day. You don’t think it’s disrespectful when I’m in the middle of teaching a lesson and they ask “Can I go see Mrs. ( ) after this?” Or “Can I go do math in Mrs. ( )’s class?” (during a math lesson) I understand they have a special bond with their first grade teacher. But I’ve never experienced this where they ask all the time, even in the middle of a lesson. That seems really disrespectful to me. Maybe I’m wrong? I’ve always taught first grade prior to this, and they’ve never asked to go see their kindergarten teacher. They were happy to be done with kindergarten lol.

    That came across wrong about sending them to the principal. I didn’t mean sending them to the principal for this. I’m saying the students only do what I ask when I threaten either loss or recess time or sending them to the principal. This principal encourages sending them down if they’re misbehaving because he knows it’s a difficult school. There’s a multitude of issues going on - way more than I listed in this post. But the principal has even said himself (as well as other teachers) that these kids don’t have discipline at home. They have hard home lives and no discipline (said by the principal) which is why they are so disrespectful and act out.
     
  12. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Sep 16, 2019

    Have you talked to the 1st grade teachers? Maybe they need to say something to the kids that they need to listen to you and need to stop asking to see them. I agree that waving in the hallway would be fine but running over to them might also disrupt their class as well.
     
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  13. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Sep 16, 2019

    OP, it is possible that your students are nostalgic for school days where they understood the material, knew what was expected of them, with a teacher who was happy with their progress. From their perspective, their last memories of 1st grade were when they had mastered the material, making their teachers happy with their progress. They understood that teacher, and she was fond of them, since the year was ending. Now, they have a teacher who blocks their every request to see that "perfect teacher", who was only perfect by their standards, and treats them like they are miscreants for wanting to touch base with that more "perfect" time in their lives. On top of that, you are also missing a former time in your life, when you were that first grade teacher, and you assume they are disrespecting you when they ask to see last year's teachers. I suspect they are picking up on your dissatisfaction, making them less secure.

    I think that there needs to be some arrangements for the former teachers to be part of the separation solution. I also think that thinking in terms of "discipline is lacking at home" needs to disappear. It isn't fair since you haven't been in their homes to observe them, and I'm not fond of your P throwing that out there as an easy excuse.

    Hopefully these are some things to consider.
     
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  14. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Sep 17, 2019

    At this age, kids have an almost parent connection with their teacher from last year. It's only the second time they have detached from a former teacher, and they are not good at it yet.
    Can we go do math with Mrs. First Grade? No, because you are a big 2nd grader. However, I will show her all of the papers that do their very best. I know she'll be proud of you, and I will too!
    That kind of response alleviates the fears and worries of our beginning 2nd grade students. It isn't personal. It is natural. I see 3rd graders running and hugging their Kindergarten teacher. It is the way things are in Elementary. They will love you the same way and drive Mr. Third Grade teacher crazy wanting to see you.
     
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  15. RainStorm

    RainStorm Aficionado

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    Sep 22, 2019

    I show my students a special sign (wiggling their index finger at their former teacher) that they are allowed to do. I talk with the former teacher and get her to do the special sign back. I ask her if anyone runs up to her, to redirect them back to line (without a hug) and then do the special sign. It does work. Give it time.
     
  16. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Sep 22, 2019

    I LOVE this! Well done, and a good outcome for all concerned.
     
  17. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Comrade

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    I'd feel a little sad too. It is the beginning of the yr, and next yr, they'll be bugging their teacher to come see you. I have seen it before from both sides. It has gotten out of hand though. If the other teacher is friendly, I'd talk to her. Tell her how you feel and make an arrangement that works.
    Make a rule of no talking or getting out of line in the hall. Make sure the teacher knows to ignore or reinforce your rules if the kid talks to her or gets out of line. Maybe she could just give them a disapproving look if needed. If the other teacher agrees, maybe they could stop by her room after school for a minute. I'd bet that they probably wouldn't go back after school for very long either.
    Then yes, you do need a consequence for talking or getting out of line in the hall for any reason. Good luck!
     

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