just wondering?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by drowningintears, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. drowningintears

    drowningintears Rookie

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    Oct 22, 2007

    ok...im a kid..im in 10th grade..and i was just wondering...why do teachers hate there classes? every teacher ive ever had has hated me...so i was just wondering....thanks...

    :rolleyes:
     
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  3. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    I can understand where many students might initially think I hate them, and some long after that, but I really don't. I am guessing that by "hate their classes" you mean the students rather than the subject matter. Some kids think I hate them because they get into trouble and I don't let them get by with that behavior. Some kids think I hate them because I get fed up with their never doing/turning in homework on time. Generally it comes down to I get frustrated with thier antics, not following the rules, or something like that. In truth, though, I DON'T hate my students. They may drive me nuts, but I really do enjoy them and my job most days. They don't always see it that way, and some days I find it difficult to really like them a great deal, but by the end of the week/month/year they know I do care a great deal.

    I know HS is a different situation because you have so many different teachers throughout the day, but if you want your teachers to enjoy you, try enjoying them. Often a teacher's percieved like or dislike is a reflection of what they feel they are getting from their students. You can't change them, but what can you change about you?
     
  4. TemperanceFaith

    TemperanceFaith Comrade

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    I am seriously feeling bad for your situation, and do not know what to say to you.
    I am also a mom of two teenagers, who often think I "hate them" because I impose rules, for example. They cannot believe I was ever a teenager myself, and also thought my parents hated me, because they set rules. I will tell you what I tell them... that rules are necessary, and it is because I love them that the rules are there. If I hated them I would not care about their behavior or what they did, I would neglect their needs and take no interest. If I set rules it is usually because it is for their own safety, and to make them better people.
    You won't believe it now, but someday you will perhaps be a parent, perhaps even a teacher, and you will have kids who think you hate them because you set rules. You will tell them what I am telling you, and remember how you felt as a teen when you thought every adult in the world hated you and was against you.

    NOw, if the teachers you are referring to are outright hostile to you, obviously something is not getting communicated. I do not know your situation, like the environment of your school, etc... all I can say is it is doubtful you are hated. If any teachers are out there "hating" their students, they are in the wrong profession and seriously should walk away. Stress can change an individual in extreme ways. It could be the teachers you are coming into contact with are under such stress, but it does not condone making students feel as if they are hated. No one wants to learn under those conditions, and no one wants to teach that way either.
     
  5. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    sorry, honey. Here's a hug ( ) Can you talk with your school counselor about it? Or someone who can help you straighten it out? Do you go to church? Can you talk with your parents?
     
  6. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    emo that's what my kids say! How far out of high school are you?:D
     
  7. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    Oct 23, 2007

    I graduated 9 years ago. :( I guess I'm just really hip. ;)

    Just how old are your own kids? You always seemed so... young to me. I thought you were my age.

    Also, I think my point is valid, if a bit harsh because if this is a constant reaction from several teachers the fault is likely in the students behavior, not the teachers. If it was one teacher, I might be inclined to think it is one of those bitter fogey types we all dreaded.
     
  8. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Yes but not all teenagers have a good support system and they don't trust adults, don't respect authority because they haven't been treated with respect themselves or again just don't trust them because someone harmed their trust, and this one here is reaching out for help. So they don't need one more adult to smack them down, no matter what. Right?

    I teach 5th grade. By the time many of my students get to me, they've been branded trouble makers for so long that their parents don't even want to come to parent-teacher conferences. That is so sad. But in my class, they change, 'cause every day is a new day and they get a chance to find out who they really are. And it's usually a great individual they turn out to be. :)
     
  9. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    I applaud you if what you say be true and I have no reason to doubt your word.

    I don't think anyone walks into a class room wanting to hate anyone. I think how a student presents themself is a huge, critical factor and if the thread starter feels he or she is hated, that is probably where they should look first.

    Of course, I must admit I've had plenty of teachers who seemed bitter and had no other desire than to be mean to their students but I suspect in their warped minds there must have been a lesson in that somewhere.
     
  10. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Well I get to see kids, Little kids, all of the time who think they are so unloveable they won't even look an adult in the eye. That's the way they've been treated all their short little lives so they believe it. Even though there is always, when you do get them to look at you, this little shred of hope in their eyes that they will see themselves in your eyes as worth caring about. So if a kid like that never gets enough of those loving looks by the time they are in middle school, how else will they present themselves?

    yes there are brats out there. But mostly they just need affirmation.

    And yes, I do remember bitter teachers in middle school, too. Worse time of a kid's life to encounter uncaring teachers. This kid I am sure does need to work with the adults in his/her life too, and it looks like they are reaching out so let's not push them away, okay? Maybe if they trust us they will look around for someone closer to home they can reach out to. Come on, Jarenko, you want to be a teacher. Practice. :)
     
  11. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    I'll practice next year. I'm so excited to begin!
     
  12. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Well start now, here's a real student who needs you. :)
    You have a great sense of humor and you've got the male perspective, I'm sure you have something valuable to offer this student or you wouldn't be here talking.
     
  13. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    I won't bother because I don't think it was a serious question. I doubt we'll see any replies by this poor alleged teen.
     
  14. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Maybe the poor alledged teen is in school? What else could it be?
     
  15. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    We'll see. I dont think they will come back but if they do I'd be ecstatic to offer them some words of advice.
     
  16. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    hmmm... do you think it's a prank?
     
  17. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    It is my gut instinct but I could very well be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time. ;)
     
  18. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    ohhhh... there were a few of these kinds of threads this summer.... hmmm.... oh well, just in case it's better to be nice, right?
     
  19. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    That is what I do. Be nice, be polite but don't pull your punches. It is not nice to lie to people.
     
  20. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Okay, that's a good way to be.
    Thank you for cheering me up, by the way. :)
     
  21. TemperanceFaith

    TemperanceFaith Comrade

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    Ok, I have to say this. My gut cries "troll", but I answered this poster honestly, just in case they weren't a troll.

    But Jarenko, you were a little harsh. Until they prove themselves a troll, I think saying what you said was uncalled for and a little too lacking in empathy.

    Let's just hope for your sake it was a troll prank, then you can feel justified in your self righteousness.:D
     
  22. drowningintears

    drowningintears Rookie

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    Oct 23, 2007

    Thanks for replying....btw im only here because I want my questions answered and nobody else can seem to answer them, so I came here...anyways I dont think its my behavior, Im usually pretty quiet, and I never disrespect someone unless they disrespect me...so I still don't know...
     
  23. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    This is so frustrating because you are not here in front of us where we can talk to you. There just has to be someone you can talk to in person. Think really hard...
     
  24. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    So am I correct in guessing you are one of those students that seems to just fade into the background? One of those students everyone seems to look right through? I understand what that's like. Do you feel the teachers hate you personally or the students in general?
     
  25. drowningintears

    drowningintears Rookie

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    yeah...i kinda am the backround...and the teachers chose 4 students to hate this year..and i just happen to be one of them...

    I dont have anyone to trust...my parents are never around...i dont like anyone at school, and i dont really kno anyone else...
     
  26. TemperanceFaith

    TemperanceFaith Comrade

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    I realize I am relatively new to this board, but I have seen a couple glib responses to this OP. In the offchance that this is, indeed, a teen with some serious questions and feelings of being hated, making smart assed comments is certainly not any kind of pedagogy I am familiar with, or any I think should be represented by a teacher's board in general.

    Drowning, you seriously need to discuss your feelings with someone offline; maybe someone in your school guidance department, someone who will be there to listen to you. There has to be someone irl who you can go to talk to about how you are feeling. It is important that you share what you are sharing here with people irl, because the internet is pretty limited, and as you can see, not everyone is going to take you seriously, which in my humble opinion is pretty sad.
     
  27. drowningintears

    drowningintears Rookie

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    I dont really like the guidance counsler...she scares me...
     
  28. TemperanceFaith

    TemperanceFaith Comrade

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    I did not mean the guidance counselor. I actually meant the school counselor. There should be no reason that a school counselor should scare you. He or she is trained to help you think and talk through things you are going through so that you can make some sense of them, and they are going to help you. If they can't help you, they will find someone who can help you. They are not someone to be afraid of, and often times are the only ones who can make sense of a situation. Please do not let fear keep you from reaching out to someone who is right there to help you.
     
  29. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    Regardless, this is not a proper place for this teen to seek aid or counseling. None of us know the situation or are in a place to offer advice.

    With all that being said, I think the best and more constructive response to this situation is for you to talk to the teachers, your principal, your parents, a school counselor, or one of your other teachers not involved. I seriously doubt your teacher just decided to pick four students to hate and find it most likely you are over sensitive and are taking their conduct the wrong way. Fortunately for you, if that be the case you can clear the misunderstanding and should make your school year much better.

    And if this year or any other year you *do* have a teacher that hates you all I can tell you is to grow a backbone. Your teachers dont have to love you. If your teacher does hate you, and by all the bad luck you have the nastiest and bitterest individual as a teacher this year, let them hate you. Just don't give them a reason to act on it. Respect their authority as a teacher and don't let things get to you. If you go through life expecting everyone to like you, you're only going to find frustration.

    Anyhow take care and good luck.
     
  30. drowningintears

    drowningintears Rookie

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    thanks....
     
  31. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    I know, they usually are scary in high school! They are more for academic guidance I think and they get tired of I don't even know what. You said your parents are never around, where are they? Do they know you need to talk to them? I bet they will listen if you give them a chance. Next time mom or dad asks how you are don't say, "fine." Tell them you're not feeling so good right now. Make sure you have their attention, too, say I need to talk to you. But I really feel that you need to talk with someone in person as soon as you can. You cannot let yourself feel isolated, don't shut others out. You're human and everything you are feeling every other human has felt. Maybe they don't show it, but they have.
     
  32. TemperanceFaith

    TemperanceFaith Comrade

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    Jarenko, I think any place and any time that a teen comes somewhere for some answers, they should be taken seriously, whether it be on an internet message board for teachers, or whathaveyou. To point the blame at the teen for not seeking help in a fashion you deem more suitable is pretty unprofessional. As someone who is on a teaching board, I would hope you would offer your real life students better advice and empathy
     
  33. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Drowingintears, is that the name of a song you like?
    Anyway, even Jarenko tough-guy has felt this stuff, so just ignore him...
     
  34. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Keep this in mind: every adult has gone through the difficult teen years and come out on the other side. Not everyone has experiences that are the same, but we have all felt downright rotten and very likely at least thought about a world without them at one point in time. We all know pain even if it feels like no one has ever felt yours. You can get through this.
     
  35. TemperanceFaith

    TemperanceFaith Comrade

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    THAT.

    Every single one of us, some more recently than others, on this board, have been teenagers. We have all been through it, and in some ways it is a great time, and others, the most confusing, frustrating, and scary time you'll ever go through...but you are not alone, and you are not the only one who is going through something like this.. it is how YOU handle it, that is going to make you different from other people...and the most important thing to remember is that NOTHING is as bad as it seems. Nothing... people are resilient, and can withstand a LOT of things, and still come out stronger on the other side of them...suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I do not know if you are in that state of mind, but just wanted to throw that out there....in case you are.

    Do not give up on life, because at 15 years old, you still have SOOOO much living to do, and life ahead of you to experience. Talk to someone about how you are feeling, and please, PLEASE, know that you are not alone, and you can get through this.
     
  36. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Check this out, Drowning in tears, good stuff for you:

    TeenHelp.org
    TeenHelp.org - advice through forums, chat room, email and live one-on-one support.
    www.teenhelp.org
    Support Forums
    Get Advice
    Contact Us

    TeenCentral.Net - Teen Help For Teen Problems. Log on. Work it out.
    Teen Central, the place to get teen help for teen problems. This web site is for teens and by teens. Looking for new options, new ideas, new friends?
    www.teencentral.net

    TEENS 411
    On this site, you will find the important national 411 resources on the Web and off, for problem solving and getting help for teens. ...
    www.child.net/teenhelp.htm

    Teen Line Online
    Teen Line provides a help line and online resources for teens seeking help. Teen Line is run by teens for teens
    www.teenlineonline.org

    However, don't forget about talking to a person "irl" as Temperance says. :)
     
  37. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    Actually, i'd refer you to enotalone.com, pretty strong community resources and better equipped than we are. I think you have to be 14 to be on there so you should be good.

    My guidance counselor advised I not pursue academics and look into mechanics or carpentry. :rolleyes:
     
  38. Jarenko

    Jarenko Companion

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    That is a key difference. Real life student. "Internet psychology" is often more harmful than helpful. If this lad, or maybe girl, I am not really sure needs help, we're not really in the best position to help.

    Especially as the opening question was "Why are teachers so mean?". I'm all for giving candid advice to adults, but if this kid really feels like this, they need to seek someone who can give them active guidance and more affirmation than an internet board.

    You have to pick your battles carefully and not pride or blind allegience to an ideal cloud your judgement of when to offer our own help, or help someone find someone who can actually help them. But you knew that.
     
  39. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    You are right Jarenko, and I know that you also offered the male perspective. We were trying to steer Drowningintears in the right direction but meanwhile not turning him/her away because that's the way females are. I hope all of our perspectives had something valuable for Drowningintears.
     
  40. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Sounds like discrimination! :eek:
     
  41. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    NOt necessarily.

    It may be very bad advice, or it may be wonderful advice.
    I'm assuming that the guidance counselor had Crying's grades in front of him. Based on what you've posted on other threads-- you haven't done homework since 7th grade, your grades are bad-- it may have been good advice. Any student who sincerely hates school probably isn't a good candidate for college.

    That said, you've mentioned that you want to turn over a new leaf. Do it for a while, then go back to your guidance counselor with new questions.

    Discrimination would be giving that advice based on something like a student's appearance or ethnic background. Basing it on a student's academic history is simply advice.
     

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