Just when I thought it would be ok...

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Emerson Squirl, Nov 11, 2010.

  1. Emerson Squirl

    Emerson Squirl Rookie

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    Nov 11, 2010

    and my class would settle again, I got a new student. I hate to label a child I just recently met, BUT after seeing what he's about and what he's capable I can't help but think he's only evil. This student gets frustrated almost immediately with things and acts on his frustrations destructively: i.e. the multiplication book we made today was 1 of the many pieces of paper that has been shredded this week. He has tried many times to manipulate me, saying that he was not going to follow my expectations or rules unless I did x thing for him. I have not backed down to him, but he is beginning to set the bar for the other students prone to trouble that I made huge strides with.:mad: (The student that has been the greatest management challenge this year turned to me right after an altercation he was not a part of and said, "Wow, he's worse than me!"):eek:
    Today was the hardest day with him. Yesterday he told me his dad has been withholding his medication since he doesn't think his son's ADHD requires it. Ok, so I understand that may be why he gets frustrated on a dime, but it doesn't give him the right to physically harm others or damage other's property. So, the least I can do is move him away from the student the altercation involved, but do I make him sit completely away from everyone? Would that encourage the mostly mutually hostile feelings or help him focus on adjusting to my class? I wish I had more experience to draw on, but this has been one hell of a year so far. I keep thinking that my second year, if nothing else, will be better.
     
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  3. Muttling

    Muttling Devotee

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    Nov 11, 2010

    I would be talking to SPED, guidance, senior teachers, admin, etc.


    He's just relocated which is an issue all unto itself. It sounds like he's got other issues compounding that.

    My speculation is that he's trying to establish himself as the biggest and the baddest in your class as that's where a child often feels safest. I also speculate that he feels weak and vulnerable if he's not the biggest n baddest. He's taking you on because you are in charge of the class (that threatens him) but you also have rules that he expects you to follow even when he breaks the rules (other kids don't do that so it's far safer for him to confront you than another child.) This is all about fear.

    This is ALL my amateur thoughts on the matter and I've been known to be wrong plenty of times before so take it for what it's worth (which isn't much.)

    Talking to VERY senior teachers as well as administration and SPED is the best way to get help in this situation. You need back up and this kid needs to be met with a consistent response that addresses the behavior while staying the same from one group of adults in the building to the next. He also needs some counseling on how to behave, counseling that I doubt you have the time to completely provide.
     
  4. Momma C

    Momma C Comrade

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    Nov 11, 2010

    Sounds like Dad needs a reality check--require Dad to "shadow" his kid for a day. Explain to little johnny why you moved him away from everyone and that he can rejoin the class when he decides to behave. Until then, he remains seperated. And yes, your second year will be better because you will have gained more experience. And the third year will be even better, and the fourth, and the fifth, etc. :hugs:
     
  5. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Nov 11, 2010

    I have a student whose father refuses to buy him his meds. He has not had any meds for 2 weeks b/c his mother is in away. His mother is supposed to graduate from her program (rehab) this weekend and I am praying that she moves back into the home and reads the notes I have written requesting meds in his agenda. Even with all of her problems, she values her son's education, unlike his father who lets him stay home until he requests to come to school. It is hard b/c he is always getting in trouble but you can't let everything slide due to his lack of meds. Thankfully, I have a small room attached to my class that I can send him there with his work. Sometimes I tell him to stay there for as long as he wants -- he loves this but I know that it will only give me about 20 minutes of reprieve as he always comes out due to being bored:p. It does help that he is aware of his behaviors and is able to verbalize when he has done anything inappropriate and understand why he receives a consequence.
     
  6. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Nov 11, 2010

    This hurts my heart to read. How sad for a little kid to be thought of as evil by his teacher. :(
     
  7. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Nov 11, 2010

    This child needs for you to be his advocate, treat him as you would your very own child.
     
  8. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Nov 11, 2010

    You say that the child is new - did they just move to your district, or were they just moved from a different classroom?

    Either way, you may want to tell the parent that the child is not adjusting very well, and they may want to try to keep all consistency at home, that was present before the classroom change.
     
  9. Emerson Squirl

    Emerson Squirl Rookie

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    Nov 11, 2010

    I know I don't present the best side of myself with my first post. To say the least, I'm extrememly frustrated with my situation. I feel like I'm constantly being watched (somewhat true as a first year teacher) and that I've been given more than I know how to handle. The kid that made the comment has thrown everything from tantrums to chairs, and he and his friend often left my room when my back was turned whenever they wanted. I finally gained control of their behavior only to have a new student disrupt what I had established. I'm not trying to claim that things are being done to me...I'm just overwhelmed and feel like I don't get enough support some days. I have spoken to admin and a few members of the sped team already, but have not really gotten much direction yet. The vice principal invests good time in problem solving with our school's tough kids, but she works at another school as well, and therefore only physically available every other day.
    Caesar 753- I've been around plenty of kids but have rarely seen the look I saw in my new student's eyes. His feelings and intentions were way beyond his 9 or 10 years- at least of part of me can't help but feel some "evil" tendencies in the room when a student I know to be unpredictable for the past few days raises a pair of scissors towards another student. Tomorrow my goal is to maintain a closer proximity to him, possibly to the point that he is my shadow.
     
  10. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Nov 12, 2010

    I'm very sorry you're dealing with this, I can relate. I had a good class last year until Nov when I got a new student. He started off great, then got into the wrong crowd in another 5th grade class. He ended up bringing "down" a lot of kids with him from this other group. The whole dynamic changed, and it was a tough year!!
     
  11. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Nov 12, 2010

    I'm sure she doesn't mean it, she's only venting and asking for help...
     
  12. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Nov 12, 2010

    I dunno....I get it about venting, but she said two different times that she thought he was evil. I think that those are some very strong words to describe a little kid. I would be devastated if a teacher described my child that way.
     

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