Just what I need...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by scienceteach82, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Mar 21, 2010

    Rain...

    Today is baby shower. It has been a nightmare from the start...and is only getting worse. My friend's flight was cancelled Friday night, so she didn't get here until 6pm yesterday. She has to leave Monday morning. We were supposed to hang out the whole day. We still went out to dinner, and talked...but it had been 7 years since I had seen her. Right now they are decorating my parents house for the shower...so I am at my house. I know she will be back later this year...but after 7 years I wish flight plans had been different. Oh well...what's done is done. I'm just glad she made it.

    My shower was supposed to be just girls...and I only had about 12-13 people that were coming. Well...bf's dad decided he wanted to come (he lives in NY)...and it wasn't a big deal...didn't think he would hang out long. No...he wants to stay for the whole time. BF was supposed to watch his 5yr old so we could have an adult party. Now, BF and his daughter are coming...he says it is HIS shower too...

    Not only that...but his 2 brothers came in from out of town (one with his gf)...and now his mom's bf is coming too. I don't know how...but the list went from 12 people to 26 people. This was ALL last minute...as in Friday and yesterday that I found out. My hostesses had only planned on food for 15 people.

    BF was originally going to take his dad and his kid to the auto show while we had the party...but now everyone and their mom (literally...my brother's gf's are bringing their moms) is coming.

    My mom is quite angry to say the least. We are using her house...and she didn't even want his mom coming in the first place...which is another piece of the drama. She wanted it to be just MY family (not his)...and MY friends. Well, it's not up to her...and his family is now my family too. She actually text one of my hostesses (bro's gf) and told her not to make any extra food for 'those people.' Getting better, right?

    My bro's gf has spent a huge amount of money on this party already. She is going above and beyond to try and organize everything. Friend that flew in was supposed to be main hostess...but...things just...change. I told her that I would pick up a honey baked ham or something for dinner for sandwiches. She didn't want me to...but I need to do something...can't tell bf's family they can't come...you know?

    My Dad said he wasn't planning on being there...and was going to leave to go watch basketball with my brother at a bar. He seemed really annoyed when I asked him to stay and at least meet my bf's family...they have never met each other!! (we've been together 3 years now...only his mom lives in town)

    My Grandmother is also here. She is...very...racist...to say the least. Bf's family is mixed, so she wasn't too pleased about any of this to begin with...but has been nice to him (good). She just grew up in a different world, and unfortunately her views have stayed the same (she does love Oprah though...ha). Well...my mom feeds off of that at times, and had the nerve to say last night that our family dog doesn't-like-black-people....omfg... :dizzy:

    Bf admitted this morning that his mom was the one behind inviting all the guys to the shower, and she should have talked to my mom about it since we are using her house...and talked to my hostesses about making sure they had enough food, and if not...what she could do to help.

    His family is very nice towards me. They are close, and he rarely gets to see all of them at one time...so I want bf to spend as much time with them as possible. They only get together once a year...and this is it, apparently...
    They have their flaws, but would never act the way my mom has about them. It's truly pathetic.

    I'm at the point where I don't even want to go. It has gone from a small party to bf's family reunion. It has put so much stress on everyone in my family that my parents were fighting in front of my friend last night...it was bad.

    I have no one to talk to about this, and it is really upsetting. Sorry for the long vent...I just needed an outlet...
    :thanks:
     
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  3. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Mar 21, 2010

    Seriously, I'm sorry but your mom and your grandmother need to GROW UP! This isn't about them. I remember you telling your mother you didn't want a shower to begin with and she insisted. So she needs to act like an adult and put on her hostess smile for today. She doesn't have to like them but come on. She is going to stress you out so bad the twins are going to come early.
     
  4. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Mar 21, 2010

    And I'm tempted to send her a message too. But I won't because you don't need any more drama.
     
  5. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Mar 21, 2010

    oh god...

    bf is at breakfast with his family (I stayed here to get ready and wanted to go get a small gift for my hostesses) and he just text me saying I might need to set another place for the baby shower... :eek:

    apparently some guy at his mom's bday party we met last week is also at the breakfast...and has a card for me and bf...i'm really hoping it's just a card saying congrats, and he won't come...

    :wow::wow::wow:

    I told him that was nice of him to give us the card, but I can't keep adding more people. Yeah...in tears now...


    jaime- I agree...it just sucks
     
  6. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Ok do me a favor. Turn your phone off. Don't answer it. Go get a cute hostess gift for your SIL and get your mom some flowers for having it at her house.
     
  7. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Try to go in with a positive attitude. I bet everyone will behave themselves and when the food is gone it's gone. People won't starve. Breathe! If there is drama let it be their drama not yours - if they talk about each other tell them you don't want to be part of the conversation. It will be okay.
     
  8. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    Mar 21, 2010

    I've never heard of so many men who WANT to go to a baby shower, lol.

    Good luck today...just enjoy it the best you can.
     
  9. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Either have I muggle. My husband, dad and father would all be running the other direction.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Mar 21, 2010

    Wow. What a messy situation. I agree with scmom...many times people can be absolutely ridiculous when they know they can, but when it comes time to be mature, they turn that switch on. Here's to hoping that happens...
     
  11. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Treat it as a big comedy show you are observing rather than take it personally. You can't always be the family peacemaker. Remember that it is your day, not theirs. So focus on your BF, yourself and your baby. They are your most important considerations now because they are your new family. The rest of them will need to deal with their own drama.

    It is embarrassing to have family act the way they do.

    Don't worry too much about whether the party will be enough for all the people coming. People tend to entertain themselves and they will be perfectly alright.
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I don't know why men want to hang out at a baby shower anyway. Can't they just let the gals have 1 day to themselves? My BF's bro's wife had a shower yesterday. The guys all did their own thing. (My BF & I didn't go.)
     
  13. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Science= it's your day, enjoy it. don't let the drama and extra people ruin it for you- feel loved that so many want to come. I get your frustration and I think it might be good to have a conversation with your bf after the shower about expectations for future holidays, parties and celebrations...(can't imagine the wedding!:eek: Are you planning on getting married?)
     
  14. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Honestly, it sounds like the families are competing with each other and trying to come out the top dog in your lives. It's like they are doing stuff to reserve their right in the pecking order.
     
  15. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Mar 21, 2010

    :hugs:

    Sounds like my family. Both my sister and I opted not to have open houses at graduation to avoid family craziness. My sister is getting married in Jamaica this summer- and I believe part of the reason is to avoid the family again.
     
  16. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Thanks for all the good luck wishes...was a nice shower. Now just the families are left...so might get weird.

    We'd like to get married...but have a lot of work before that point. Wish things would have worked out before I got pregnant...but as we all know...nothing is perfect.
     
  17. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    Mar 21, 2010

    glad the shower was nice st!

    Sorry about all the family drama :hugs: Dont stress to much you gotta keep those girls in you as long as possible :)
     
  18. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Glad the shower worked out ok. Did you get a lot of nice gifts?
    Did a lot of friends show up?

    I think you should wait a while before even thinking about marriage.
     
  19. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Sorry to hear about all the crazy drama. Glad the shower turned out nice after all. Hope you got some great gifts :).
     
  20. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    Glad the shower went fine, but sorry that you have had to deal with all of this drama.
     
  21. loves2teach

    loves2teach Enthusiast

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    I hope that it all turned out well!
     

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