Just a question?

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by teacherR, May 13, 2009.

  1. teacherR

    teacherR Companion

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    May 13, 2009

    I just have a question that I was pondering as I read through some of the post on behavior managment. I notice that most teachers have students that they regard as "out of control" and it made me wonder, are these kids suffering from ADHD and Bipolar or are they lacking some kind of adult attention/instruction? It made me wonder what other teachers felt about these kind of chidlren.

    I teach preschool and I have a great group of kids. There are 3 out of 35 however that are a complete mess! They are do not listen. They hit, kick and throw terrible fits. I have definitley had to use some tough love this year but sometimes I just feel they need extra love and understanding. I am under the impression that I may be the only adult in their life who cares enough to help them. My co-teachers seem to feel that we should just expell these naughty children and make the classroom an easier place.

    What do you think? Is it nature or nurture? Can one teacher make a difference?
     
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  3. SLteaCh

    SLteaCh Companion

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    May 13, 2009

    Have you heard the starfish story? It's short, and I think you'll get the message:

    Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.

    The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.

    As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, "It sure made a difference to that one!"

    ~I think it's our job to change the world, one child at a time.
     
  4. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    May 13, 2009

    My grandson has always been very active. He has had fabulous teachers who have been able to focus that energy into positive activities. But, he is now 9, and been diagnoised with ADHD and possible bi-polar. Now, he has had these since he was born, as his behaviour over the years supports. But, the first few teachers in his life taught him how to re-channel that energy. His family credits those early teachers for the success he has had. For whatever reason, he is now needing to take meds to control his behavior. His PK teacher taught him how to read, his K teacher showed him how to focus his interests, and his 1st grade teacher gave him science. These teachers could have just tossed him out (by the way, he was asked to leave 3 day cares before his was 2.). I want you to be inspired to work especially hard to challenge the difficult child.
     
  5. Beverly

    Beverly Comrade

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    May 13, 2009

    I don't think that everyone who suggests expulsion has put any less effort into helping the child. For some of these children, I honestly think that they will learn more by spending time one-on-one with a loving family member than by being in a daycare full of children. If teachers didn't care, they wouldn't be here discussing behavior management, and they wouldn't still be in the classroom with the "out of control" children. (What else are they in it for? The glorious paycheck? The privilege of wiping bottoms and cleaning up vomit? The constant illness and no days off?)
     
  6. vannapk

    vannapk Groupie

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    May 14, 2009

    I have taught public pre-k for many years and I only ever encountered 3 children who were diagnosed by a doctor as ADHD, ODD, or some other medical label. The others were all just out of control due to their unstable home lives. Unstable home life translates into a myriad of different things, everything from poor parenting (no rules, limits, respect etc), neglect, abuse, parents in and out of jail, parental drug abuse, absent parents etc. If I was able to determine what the child was lacking at home then I could usually find a way to reach that child and help them more effective, then they weren't "problems" anymore. That doesn't mean they didn't go on to cause problems for the next teacher :) You are absolutely right, you may very well be the only adult in their life that cares enough to help them.

    In answer to your question, of course one teacher can make a difference imo. Don't listen to your negative co-workers, just because they want to give up doesn't mean you have to. If teaching were an easy job everybody would want to do it. If your co-workers want an easy place to work I have a few suggestions for them, but the classroom isn't one of them ;)
     
  7. vannapk

    vannapk Groupie

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    May 14, 2009

    But the reason many of the children are in this situation in the first place is precisely because they don't have a loving family member. Like the OP stated, sometimes the teacher is the only adult in their lives who cares about them. Staying at home would be the worst possible case for most of the students I work with, I cringe just imagining what they would be doing all day. Probably wandering the streets unattended...
     
  8. teacherR

    teacherR Companion

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    May 14, 2009

    Thanks for the post. I have been teaching for over 10 years and have a real passion for teaching. I have one of these "out of control" children myself. I think that she just really needs more love and attention then the others. Sometimes I see that the school has given up on her and my heart is heavy for all those kids left behind due to unique personalities. Lately, I have seen so many teachers just want to give up on these kids. I feel like it is my job to love them and attempt to help them. I think that I just needed to hear that there were other teachers that feel the same as I do.

    I do believe that I can change the world one kid at a time. Maybe if I help one, they'll help one and so on and so on. I will just continue to help my starfish!
     
  9. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    May 14, 2009

    A wise old teacher that I used to work with always said that for some young children, coming to school saved them. It gave them a different perspective on the world and teaches them a different way to be.

    I agree with Vannapk in that for some children, they need to be in school since it's better for them than the alternative.
     
  10. Jlyn07

    Jlyn07 Comrade

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    May 14, 2009

    I do have a few "out of control" boys in my room now. I'm really at a loss as to what to do with them. One yells and spits at me when I ask/tell him not to do something (such as hitting another child); another throws HUGE temper tantrums whenever he doesn't get what he wants (at least twice a day lately); and another one just does what he wants all day long (usually running circles around the room) despite many attempts at redirection; one more who has anger issues and will hit/scratch/kick other children for no reason at all (he was kicked out of his previous day care) he has been pretty good lately and I definitely think he is the type that needs the extra love so I've been giving him extra attention and hugs and it seems to be working so far.

    The other kids, I am at a loss as to what to do for them. They are disrupting my other kids so my room is crazy and it makes me feel like a failure. I only think one possibly could have ADHD/ADD; I have no idea why the others are doing what they are but it is driving me crazy!
     
  11. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    May 15, 2009


    The problem is that if you send them home, it's not going to be one on one time with a loving adult. They are most likely going to be punished for getting "in trouble" or they are going to be sent off by themselves while mom/dad is busy doing what they need to do.

    I think there are some rare times when a child does need to be sent home-if he/she is a danger to others-but I think too often sending a child home just makes the problem worse. We need to be careful that we are sending a child home because it is in the best interest of the child or the other children and not just because it will make the teacher's life easier.
     
  12. tracer330

    tracer330 Rookie

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    May 24, 2009

    i have a child who has a very hard time hearing the word "no"; when he doesn't get his way he throws awful fits, screaming, crying, throwing toys, hitting children, hitting and kicking me, knocking chairs over; one day, we had to call his mom to come pick him up; he came back two hours later and i was not happy; one day he cried and screamed for two hours straight, just because i wouldn't hold him; he stays under control so much better when i'm giving one-on-one attention; i also noticed that he does much better when he's working or playing with only one or two other children; the problem is, i have a class of ten by myself, so i'm in ratio; but i don't have anyone else in my classroom to help me with anything, including giving time to this one child every now and then
    the day that he was going on and on for 2 hours, i was feeling so frustrated and so stressed out; i felt like i wanted to either just cry or walk out; when i talked to my director, her answer to me was "every kid acts up sometimes"; i was soooo mad at that;
    thanks for listening/reading; i just really need to get this all out
     
  13. Beverly

    Beverly Comrade

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    May 25, 2009

    tracer, don't you like when directors tell parents that your classroom has a "low ratio" just because you're at the legal maximum? Ha ha.
     
  14. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    May 25, 2009

    Trace,
    I wish I had your ratio! Well! It depends on what age group too.;)
    We, Preschool teachers have a BIG job! We have used some of these "POSITIVE WAYS" of handling these children, who WE KNOW sometimes have no control of what is going on. It's just how it is.
    WHEN a TEACHERS KNOW THAT, IT MAKES IT EASIER.
    -NIITB before it gets out of control. Letting it go on won't help.
    -I know what their passions are while in school. I lead them right to the area that they enjoy and it helps calm them down.
    -The other children are aware, OR reminded, so they stay clear. Some of them want to push their buttons, but I WARN the Button Pushers that they can get hurt, etc.
    -Their parents share with us, what they are doing at home with them and what seems to work best. (Great supporting parents)
    -These children can't be tested for ADHD, ADD, etc., until they are a bit older. We make our classroom a place of COMFORT where we LOVE, TEACH, AND HELP THEM. We make it a POSITIVE PLACE to have fun in and learn.:cool:
    -Just by getting down to their level, explaining to them what they are going through, and introducing them to a COOL NEW THING they can do instead, helps a LOT. This has definitely helped me, so I keep COOL THINGS nearby for EMERGENCIES like these. I have to stay 2 steps ahead of these guys. They get distracted very easily and since I am aware of that, I AM ON IT!
    -Last, but not the least, is the :hugs:"OOO" time. IT works GREAT when you have the time. It's what these busy children cry out for, a lot. We are here for the children. It is expected of us, to use all the POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTS that we need, in order for them to grow, learn, and enjoy their PRESCHOOL EXPERIENCE. It is really their FIRST STEP in the LEARNING EXPERIENCE, besides what their families do at home with them. MAKE IT FUN and EXCITING!:D
    Stay a step ahead,
    Rebel1
     

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