Tell him the things you are looking for in a school. Have a list. And tell him his input is important but you have to go with what you feel is a good fit for you.
You have to go where you will be happy--regardless of what he thinks. He's not the one who has to go to work there everyday. Ask his opinion so he feels included, but listen to yourself more.
We just got into a brief argument because he began to be pushy again. I told him that I really appreciated his input and his opinion but I needed to make this decision based on what's important for me. I love him dearly but he can be very pushy sometimes.
A husband often thinks that when his wife tells him about a problems she's having, he needs to fix the problem. But, often the wife just wants him to listen.
The night I interviewed for my current job, my husband was so angry he slept on the couch and did not speak to me all the next day. Too little pay, too far away. Both true, but I had to do what I had to do. I love the kids dearly, and for the most part, it's been a great year so far. There are a couple of things I'm finding out about it that I don't care for, but it's been such a great year otherwise-I can only imagine what my year would have been like at the other place I was interviewing at that he WANTED me to teach at. I had a lot of worries about that place, and I'm pretty sure every one of them would have come true. We'll support you all you need. Stand strong and be true to yourself. It's tough, but he'll get over it. You're the one that has to get up each morning and work there. My husband is once again speaking to me, and he even took the day off work to come and hang out with the kids on our open house day. Good luck, and we're always here for you.
Your husband is probably just worried that you'll end up in the wrong place or get stuck someplace that makes you even unhappier, or that if you leave this job you won't be able to find another one. A little over a year ago, I had to do this in reverse. My husband quit a job he was really unhappy in, and while I supported him at first, after several months of looking for his "right fit" someplace (and while I was student teaching, by the way...), I kind of insisted that if the temp job he was working was offered to him, that he needed to take it. We needed some steady money from somewhere. It was offered to him, and he did take it, and have been times where he's let me know that he wished he didn't have to take it...but deep down, I think we both know that it ended up working for the best. It is absolutely true that it is your job and you should absolutely be happy in what you're doing, but try to figure out why he wants you to have that particular job, and assure him that someplace else could be even better because of a, b and c, or whatever...
Okay, the roof just collapsed and the earth started spinning in the opposite direction...Glendall and I actually agree on something Glendall is absolutely correct...men have a need to "fix" the problems that we bring up, when all we want is somebody to listen to us. When he starts getting "pushy" just remember this is just a part of being a member of the male half of the species, and don't take it personally. I also agree with the other poster who said he's probably seeing how miserable you are and wants to make sure you're happy, so he's offering his advise because he doesn't want to see you in another job in which you're this unhappy.
This is soooooo totally true. Lately I have learned to tell him at the beginning of the converation. I just need you listen, dont say a word. If I want your input I will tell you. That seems to be helping a lot!!!
I would definitely mention it. What industry does your husband work in? If he is in the education field, I can see where he might think that he 'knows better than you.' But ultimately, you are the one who has to deal with where YOU work. I hope you find something that you enjoy, and that your husband will understand!
He is an accountant and has switched jobs many times. When he started pushing me to take the charter school job I told him that I would rather wait and see if something else would come up because I would loose all the benefits I had from the public school. He didn't think that longer hours would be a big deal since he already works late many times but he doesn't have to bring work home. Whenever I mention a job I'm considering he cuts me off to tell me what he believes I should do.
