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Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by JustMe, Jul 9, 2010.

  1. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 9, 2010

    My husband complaining about my lazy summer days, that is. He doesn't get that this is my vacation, my reward for surviving the previous school year. Ugh. :rolleyes:
     
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  3. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    This is the first time there has been a lot of tension between BF and I since we moved in together, or ever really. Funny, I was going to post about this today, too.

    I voluntarily said at the beginning of summer that I would take care of most of the basic housekeeping and cooking since I don't really have anything else to do. I thought that was fair. But somehow that has turned into an excuse to not even pick up after himself. We have been struggling with ants all summer and today there were more on the counter, right in a pile of sugar that he spilled the night before while putting some in his tea. The same thing happened in spring, when we were still drinking coffee. He would leave this sugar everywhere and ants would get into it. I pointed out the sugar pile to him this morning as he was killing the ants and he said "Hmmm." The sugar is still there. Is it really that hard to grab a washcloth and wipe it up? I asked him to help me clean the kitchen up a little before work, and he didn't. I realize he has to get to work, but he didn't even carry his bowl into the kitchen. It is really frustrating.

    My plan for the summer, in addition to cleaning the house, was to finish unpacking the boxes we have in the garage, and get all the finishing touches like pictures and decor in place in the house. I haven't touched one box all summer and it has been 4 weeks. So I am going to tell him this weekend that I am working on boxes and stuff all day and we are going to go back to splitting the chores at night so that the house is neat when I need to put unpacked stuff away or hang things up, etc.

    It's hard too, because I still don't know many people up here so I don't really have anything to do all day but take care of the house, so when he gets home I am excited to do something with him. But he goes to work on his car most nights and races on the weekend. At least this weekend we are having a date night tonight and then I was promised the whole day together Saturday so we will see what happens.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 9, 2010

    I understand...my husband also seems to think most everything falls on me during the summer because I'm off.
     
  5. ami6880

    ami6880 Companion

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    Jul 9, 2010

    I hear the same thing but really I think they are just jealous...I just ignore it and enjoy my down time :)
     
  6. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    My husband does it too-even though I'm teaching summer school and piano lessons. It's frustrating when he acts like I do nothing!
     
  7. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    My DH every morning asks when I'm getting up (he leaves for work around 6:45). I don't frequently sleep in that late (usually 8:00 is "late", other than the occasional 9:00 if I haven't slept well the night before) and tells me not to stay in bed too long...yet any days HE has off, I don't think he gets out of bed before 10 and I don't say anything! I know he doesn't want me to be a lazy bum all summer long, but honestly some days (like today) I really have nothing to do because our place is clean, laundry is done for the week, and he had my car because his is in the shop so I can't go anywhere. I'm not sure why he's so anxious for me to be up and at 'em by 6:45. lol I'm going to be home with our baby when s/he arrives in December, I'm trying to enjoy my sleeping in while I can!

    The other thing that irks me (not so much in the summer, but on the days I have off during the school year that he doesn't) is that he's so dang noisy when he's getting ready and he almost always wakes me up on purpose when on his days off I'm as quiet as can be so that I don't disturb him! Maybe that will change this year... :)
     
  8. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Jul 9, 2010

    This last week was when it really started. DH works 10-15 hours a week, mostly from home. I am tutoring two days a week.

    So why, all of a sudden, does he think that I should do ALL the chores? He's home too!

    All through June, I thought summer was going way too fast. Now I'm starting to think, when can I go back?
    Having both of us home all the time is just too much for me!
     
  9. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    My dh teases me because I am home all day. He wants me to have projects so I don't become lazy!!!
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Yeah, my husband practically wants a list of my accomplishments each day. Ha!
     
  11. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Glad I'm not alone...
     
  12. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    I am right there with you
     
  13. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I tell husband: it's no secret how I got my summers off ... if you want summers off, go get certified to teach.
     
  14. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I am eager to tell BF - I think I am like a puppy when he comes in the door. I get so bored. lol. I'm like OOHHH, a person! I am sure it doesn't help the situation.
     
  15. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    My husband knows how hard I work all year...in addition to my regular school hours, I work a traffic duty stipend position, teach an after school enrichment class and tutor A LOT. We managed to put away most of my tutoring money for the summer which is a big help. DH doesn't fret at all about my days off...in fact, when I went to the beach with my girlfriends this week he said to have a good time and not to come back until I was ready. When I came back, the house was clean and dh had put in the nicest new solar landscaping lights. I get a lot done during the summer- usually some professional development, errands I don't get to during the year, household stuff (my plan is to paint the foyer and stairwell) so I'm quite productive...and on the days when I just go to my friend's pool and float, or to the beach, or have lunch with friends? DH just says "That's nice, I'm glad you had a good time". I'm lucky. :love:
     
  16. buck8teacher

    buck8teacher Devotee

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    My FI is very understanding. His mom is a teacher, so he was well aware of how hard I work during the year. I've also been busy with the wedding, etc. I love to try new dishes, so I've been doing most of the cooking. The only time it's a pain is when he works from home. Other than that, we haven't had problems.
     
  17. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    I can relate to this. My husband did this to me all summer long last year. He wanted a list of everything I did during the day and he kept mentioning how nice it would be to be home resting.

    The only time he doesn't seem to bother me is when I'm upset about something. It brings his compasionate side and then he tells me to get some rest and relax. I hate playing games but sometimes I just exagerate the pressure of the things I have to do and kind of fake a panic attack so he'll feel sorry for me.

    I also make sure to mention every single little thing I do so it makes it seem like I've done a lot. Although I hate the fact that I have justify why I'm taking my earned and deserved break.

    Sometimes I tell him that he could also go into teaching and that way he could also enjoy the time off.
     
  18. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    czacza, maybe if I were as productive as you I wouldn't get the look from him! :whistle:
     
  19. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I married a teacher, so neither of us complains too much to the other! :)
     
  20. MrsHoot

    MrsHoot Comrade

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    DH hasn't been too much like this yet... but he does get a little irked sometimes when I keep him up late and he still has to get up early, while I sleep in. =) DH ALWAYS has to finish a movie, so I started one at 9 last night and he told me he'd watch part of it. Is it my fault that he can't not watch whole movies? =) He had to get up at 5 to go in to work early, and I slept in til 11. (Pretty late for me! =P
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oh, there are days when I'm not so productive, but our relationship wouldn't work if either he or I had to provide the other with a list of 'what got done' or complained about the other needing some time to rest and rejuvenate. :eek: Truthfully though, I'm not one to laze about too much...I NEED to be productive...even if it's just one thing I accomplished in a day, it makes me feel good.

    Today:
    Went to the library
    Took care of school email regarding next year's schedule
    Conferred on the phone with a colleague regarding class lists-possible changes
    Food store
    Repotted 2 plants
    4 loads of laundry
    1 hour on exercise bike
    Made an awesome peach/blueberry tart with my parents (we shared the pie so as to not over-indulge!!)
    Made the family chicken parm and pasta for dinner

    THEN I rewarded myself with some chilled chardonnay out on my porch with my library book and a piece of said pie

    (Yes, a productive day, but for the past 3 days I've been at the beach with my girlfriends- sunning, swimming, laughing...) It all evens out. :haha:
     
  22. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    I have a friend who works only weekends (she is a nurse) and her dh leaves her "honey-do" lists all week. And these are things like: try to fix the broken washing machine, sand and stain the deck. Really. He can't get anything done on the weekends because he has to watch the kids....but during the week, while she is "watching" the kids, she is also supposed to master appliance repair???

    I love that my dh wouldn't notice if I slept until 4:30 every day, as long as I had dinner ready (or restaurant plans made) when he got home at 6!
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Ditch them all and marry teachers :p
     
  24. lilmisses1014

    lilmisses1014 Comrade

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    Fortunately my husband doesn't give me a hard time, but his family is pretty obnoxious about my time off. They act like I do nothing all year long and have a paid 3-month-long vacation. I wish.... :rolleyes:
     
  25. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    I think we may be married to the same man! I'm so grateful for mine. :)
     
  26. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Me too!

    Though on this particular issue I can't really comment, since Peter teaches too!
     
  27. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    Wow! My husband would never do that. I take care of everything inside and as much as I can outside because of his work hours. Wednesday, my day off, I spent outside on the beach reading my book and swimming. House was clean, laundry done, dinner ready. He always asks if I got out in my kayak.
     
  28. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Got anyone in mind?
     
  29. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sorry, mine is taken :p
     
  30. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    My husband is great; if I'm in a good mood when he gets home, he knows it was a great day and he is happy.

    I do take over almost everything in the summer, but he sees me working virtually every evening during school and the week-ends.
     
  31. August

    August Rookie

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    Ugh my husband has been doing that too!

    I am being somewhat "lazy" I guess because it's my VACATION that I earned by becoming a teacher and working hard.

    Also, I don't know about other places, but in my district we get paid the same throughout the whole year, so I feel like I am still bringing in a paycheck LOL, So I just ignore him
     
  32. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :lol:
     
  33. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    So he's a nice polygamist, huh???
    :)
     
  34. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Nope, they are just both awesome monogamists!! :D
     

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