Is this kind of weird?

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by DrivingPigeon, Apr 1, 2010.

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  1. WannaTeach

    WannaTeach Companion

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    Apr 3, 2010

    Hi! I feel like this parent is just being rude. In our school/class we don't have a snack time...so for birthdays it is a cupcake at lunchtime only. There is no party. We may take the cupcakes to recess with us if time is running short. Just tell her. Our schedule continues and most of the time I always say no cupcakes anyway because the kids will eat the icing and throw the cake away. Then they are wild for the rest of the day...glad recess is after lunch. Don't be afraid to let her know that a cake is too much and cookies or a dessert at lunchtime or your snack time is all the time you have and that you cannot have a "party". We're only allowed two such "parties" a year. Good luck!
     
  2. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    Apr 4, 2010

    It's interesting to read all the replies, and the variety of policies and what is the "norm" for different schools.

    Thinking back on my elementary days, I don't remember ever bringing in a treat. I think when I'm a parent I'll stick to cookies. Or pencils lol.
     
  3. Kteacher06

    Kteacher06 Companion

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    Apr 4, 2010

    I tell parents that they can provide a treat, but it HAS to be approved by me in advance (we have a peanut allergy, so I really enforce this). If a parent chooses to bring in a treat, we eat it during the last 5 - 10 minutes of class. Every child that has a birthday gets a birthday treat from me (a book, cerificate, & large sticker). However, this is given to them discretely - I usually place it in the student's bookbag. Summer birthdays are "celebrated" in June.
     
  4. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Our classrooms commonly take time for students to make the birthday student a card or at least sign one. Like I said, we have small classes but we will include all students in that grade level even if there are multiple classes. I'm going to guess it is mostly lower grades prek-2nd. Yeah, I would not presume anyone is being rude if you have not made your policy clear upfront. Obviously, there are quite varied policies for this.
     
  5. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    For the record, back when I was in elementary school I remember my dad supplied a check so my teacher could get a cake and a pinata. They gave me a surprised birthday party. We were already learning about cinco de mayo and my teachers and I wore a mexican dress that day. I knew we would be doing something theme related and having a party. I just didn't know it would be a combo party to celebrate my birthday. That school was clear across the country from the one I'm teaching at now.

    Of course parties in general used to be more of a norm.
     
  6. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Apr 5, 2010

    At our school, that's normal to bring an entire cake, or do pizza or some sort of special food, but the parents do that during the lunch time, so it doesn't actually take up instructional time.
     
  7. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    Apr 5, 2010

    Years ago, our school would have monthly birthday celebrations in the cafeteria during lunch for the children who had a birthday that month (we have 4 seperate lunch periods). The children would get a piece of birthday cake and a birthday pencil. It was good because it wasn't in the classroom, yet there was that little bit of specialness. But I think it became cost prohibitive, then we adopted the healthy snack plan.
     
  8. HeatherY

    HeatherY Habitué

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    Apr 6, 2010

    I just don't think that it is my responsibility as a teacher to throw a party (much less clean up after it). I would have refused this parent. That is their job, not mine. How rude.
     
  9. hatima

    hatima Devotee

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    Apr 6, 2010

    Smith's sells individual slices of cake. Very Large slices. Last year and kinder parent bought one for each of the kids in the class. She spent more on that then cupcakes would've cost. The teacher's cut each slice in fourths (now the size of a normal cup cake) and saved the rest for snack through out the week.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I'm not a big fan of any parents coming in to celebrate their child's birthday at school. Even as a child I was annoyed by the showboating. If birthdays are going to be recognized, I best like the idea of the teacher doing a consistent monthly celebration, and of course covering summer babies as well, though that still leaves room for problems (religious and so forth).
     
  11. CiniMini

    CiniMini Rookie

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    This year I've only had two parents want to do a "special snack" for their kids. I think next year I'm going to follow the lead of some posters on here and have a written policy on this. I like the idea of having parents send a healthy snack instead of these junky cupcakes we get made with the greasy icing. I hate those.
     
  12. PCdiva

    PCdiva Connoisseur

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    This year a parent asked if she could send in Ice Cream (Usually icepops or a little dixie cup are quick and easy) Well there was a language barrier and she sent in an Ice cream CAKE...completely frozen from baskin Robbins 10 minutes before our special....with no knife.

    And about 4 years ago I was subbing for a 5th grade class...the teacher left a note that the parent was coming in for her sons bday with a chocolate fountain!!!! I couldnt believe it...a huge chocolate fountain with fruit and all sorts of stuff to dip....craziness!
     
  13. PEteacher07

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    Our school policy is that they can bring a treat during the last 10 minutes of class. Most the parents will bring cupcakes and cookies. They sing happy birthday and that is it. If it's at the end of the day, the kid can take the treat home if they don't want to eat it.

    Oh, and the whole shanagins with a full cake, slicing it, forks, plates, and napkins is just nuts. A cookie or cupcake requires a hand to eat and a napkin to clean up. A chocolate fountain??? Who the heck does that?!?!?
     
  14. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    I had a parent come in with pizzas, hot wings and potato chips to celebrate her son's birthday. She came in with all of this a few minutes after we returned from the lunch:dizzy: Guess what we had for lunch that day...PIZZA, lol.
     
  15. Ambrosegirl84

    Ambrosegirl84 Companion

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    Apr 8, 2010

    Wow. The chocolate fountains, pizzas, etc., are just plain crazy. I had a parent a couple years ago who sent 2 HUUUUUUGE frosted cookies for each student!!! I definitely thought that was way excessive.

    My mom brought a cake for my 2nd grade birthday, and I've had parents bring cake. I think it's too bad that kids can't have special treats like that at school anymore....but then again, kids used to not be drinking 24 oz pops and chowing down on junk food as they sat in front of a screen for hours.
     
  16. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Apr 8, 2010

    A chocolate fountain...man I wish I was in that class!! I love fruit & chocolate... LOL!!!

    Seriously, I don't remember any crazy things when I was younger. The best part was having extra & going to different teachers to give them a bday snack... I think that's the part I looked forward to the most!!!
     
  17. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    Apr 8, 2010

    Having worked in a day care, I'm used to, and don't mind, birthday parties. I think it really depends on the age. No offense, but it's a bit alarming to see people who are teaching kinder and prek get annoyed parents and children want to celebrate their birth. :unsure::dizzy: IMO, children at this age are very egocenterical. I think not having a party does more harm than good. One of my classmates is student teaching in a school where they don't allow birthday parties in p-2. However, 3rd and up is fine. :confused: Where I'm STing there's a high level of poverty and no one brings anything in for birthday. I suspect they can't afford it and that's sad. That said, I think people griping over cake are being a bit full of themselves. Just as the OP fund out, a moderate sized cake can be fun and not take up too much tme. Now if you're teaching children about 10 or over, I can see being annoyed but I say let the kids have some fun.

    When I was working in the daycare, we were a block away from a Baskin Robin's. So once this mother came in at 7am with an icecream cake. :eek: She asked if we could put it in our freezer, and we said ok. It didn't fit and ended up melting. :( So, we made a rule about that, but honestly even with that experience I'm still for having some type of celebration. I think teachers complain about how school is focused too much on testing and what have you, but the minute fun is brought into the mix some teacher have a bug about that, too. :unsure: I understand some schools may not allow it, but it just seems a bit shocking some teachers are dismissing a child's birthday as too messy or annoying. I'm not for chocolate fountain pizza parties in school, but who cares if a child took two bites of a cup cake. They had fun for a few minutes.
     
  18. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Apr 8, 2010

    Newbie, I don't think there is any reason to be "alarmed" that some teachers do not, for whatever reason, allow or enjoy birthday parties for their young students. Furthermore, you finding that not having parties is actually harmful baffles me. Finally, that you believe these teachers in question are "full of themselves"...well, I find that absurd, rude, and just plain silly.
     
  19. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I don't know if it is harmful or not. I can't debate that. And although I would have chosen a different way of saying it, I can see where the perspective of the teachers being "full of themselves" comes into play. I do think it is odd and maybe a bit silly for someone to think it is weird or rude for a parent to bring in a cake. BUT... I also think it is because the OP may not have had a wide enough range of experience or knowledge about how other schools do it and how much it varies depending on various school cultures. That's why we ask these questions on this board. :)
     
  20. Toak

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    Apr 8, 2010

    Bringing in food right after lunch sounds ridiculous, even if it happened to be a day that the lunch choices were terrible.

    I don't see pizza as such a shock though, as all of our rewards in school were classroom pizza parties. I believe they usually held them at the end of the day, though the one my senior year was held first period. The pizza wasn't meant to be a meal - one slice was typically enough to satisfy everyone.

    Now chicken wings, that's just weird
     
  21. beatlebug731

    beatlebug731 Comrade

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    Apr 8, 2010

    I don't really have a problem with having treats in the classroom. As long as there are no severe allergies. By severe, I mean you can't get near the thing they are allergic to. I really believe that parents should have the right to choose what there child eats. I would maybe send home a permission slip at the beginning of the year to see what kinds of foods the kids are allergic to or if the parents try to keep them on a healthy diet and don't want them to have the food or something.

    To alleviate the time or religious issue, have the "party" during recess. This way the students can get their break and possibly play a party game (like the Pinata). Have the parent be in charge of clean up etc. Then any Jehovah's Witness students can go out and play with the other the students at recess.
     
  22. mom2sands

    mom2sands Comrade

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    Apr 8, 2010

    My school doesn't have a written policy, but I am going to request one for next year. I've had two experiences. Both parents asked when to bring cake or cupcakes. I was told that it had to be during lunch which is 12:15-12:45. I never had a parent to ask me in advance, but they have called the office to ask the time. I am really not involved because I am not in the cafeteria with my students during lunch. One time, the parent showed up at 12:45, just as the kids were leaving the cafeteria. I explained to the mother that I could send the cupcakes home with the children. She seemed a little perturbed, but time was up. The next time I went to pick up my kids from the cafeteria and they were all wearing hats and the parents were just dishing out the cake. They had bought forks, plates, and napkins. It was a huge cake. That day I arrived about 5 minutes early to pick up my kids. Half of them had their cake and they had enough time to pass out the rest. I had them to wrap their plates in their napkins, carry them to the room, and place them on the top shelf of their cubbies. They ate them for snack that afternoon. Both experiences were very awkward for me and the parents. A clear policy would be very helpful.

    At my nephew's private school, the whole class has to be invited when a child has a birthday party so that no one feels left out! I think that's ridiculous. The invitations can be mailed to the child's home, not given out at school, if that's the case. A parent should be able to have discretion in how many and who is coming to their child's birthday imho!
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Apr 8, 2010

    The policy in my kids' public elementary school is this: If you want the teacher to hand out the invitations, every student must receive one. Otherwise, do it by mail.

    I can't imagine that any school would try to make a policy over who you're allowed to invite to a party outside of school hours.
     
  24. jd123

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    Apr 8, 2010

    I am learning a lot about what is "normal" for parties from this thread!

    My first thought about parents who bring in whole cakes and pizzas was that this is their first child and, as someone said earlier, didn't realize that elementary school was different from preschool. But from the posts, it seems like cakes, pizzas, and pinatas happens often.

    I have a summer b-day and never had cupcakes, or had my locker decorated in high school :(
     
  25. Bloom

    Bloom Companion

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    Apr 9, 2010

    My daughters kinder class is not allowed to bring in food....you can bring in a treat bag like pencils, stickers, etc. to celebrate the birthday for take home, but no food. Our kinder classes are only 2.5 hours....no time for celebrations. If you want to celebrate...have a party at home!
     
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