Is it still taboo to meet people (for romance or friendship) online first?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Em_Catz, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Mar 27, 2013

    So I was listening to the radio today when a woman came on and said "I met a guy online and got pregnant on the first date". Then she said "it's even worse because we met online" and the DJ goes "Why is that worse? Lots of people meet online these days".

    That got me thinking if it's still taboo. I thought about my friends and -

    1. Two of the six girls I consider best friends I met on craigsslist as part of a social club in the groups section

    2. I met my fiance online

    3. Two of my best friends met their husbands online

    4. three of my friends are in long term relationships w/guys they met online

    Yet, despite all that when I first hear someone met online I feel a little twinge like "what's wrong that they went online" which is so hypocritical b/c I used the internet to enhance my love and social life.

    Thoughts?
     
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  3. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Mar 27, 2013

    No.

    My wife and I met "the old fashioned way" - in a bar.

    We've been together over 20 years.
     
  4. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Mar 27, 2013

    Definitely not taboo. Most of my friends here, in Costa Rica, I met through a website that has meet-ups every month. Lots of my friends met their partners through some website or another. I read an article about it the other day about how falling in love online is possible. Let me see if I can find it... Found it!

    Although my husband and I met "the old fashioned way" as well (also at a bar! :lol:) I think very successful relationships, be it friendships or intimate relationships, can develop online.
     
  5. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 27, 2013

    I don't think it's taboo. Sometimes, though, I think that some people might feel embarrassed about meeting online, so they feel like they need to qualify it or minimize it in some way.
     
  6. BumbleB

    BumbleB Habitué

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    Mar 27, 2013

    I personally don't think it's taboo. I am currently talking to someone I met through online dating (but I don't have a subscription anymore). My family and friends see nothing wrong with it. Although I have received comments like, "You're so pretty, you can't find anyone in real life?"

    First of all, it's all "real life". Second, looks have nothing to do with it. So I guess only "unfortunate looking people" use online dating? Gee, thanks. Sometimes people can be really insensitive :rolleyes:
     
  7. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Mar 27, 2013

    EXACTLY! I've seen people on all scales of the attractiveness meter using online dating, including Essence Atkins, a VERY attractive actress who actually met her husband online (I think it was match.com).

    I felt a little safer when I online dated because if a guy got creepy or aggressive, I could just log off or even block him. If I was in a bar and a guy got creepy, it's much more intimidating, at least for me. That's not to say that I think people can't meet in real life...I met my last two boyfriends at work and at the library.

    I think online dating also opens up communication with people would normally wouldn't talk to. Take me and fiance for instance. At the time we met, we lived literally 5 minutes from each other.

    We both got coffee at the same Starbucks most mornings, shopped at the same market, ate at some of the same restaurants and attended local events, but never met because while both of us are talkative people, we're a little shy to initiate conversation with strangers. We both laughed and said we've probably passed each other dozens, maybe even hundreds of times and never spoke because we didn't have a reason to.

    Our online dating site gave us a reason to speak.

    I dunno, I feel like I'm rambling

    :yeahthat: That's how I feel. Whenever someone asks me, unless it's a close friend OR someone I know is thinking about/has tried/does online dating, I feel kind of awkward (read: embarassed) to tell them. My parents are the same way. They LOVE my fiance (no seriously, they think he is amazing) but they said they don't think we should broadcast that we met online at our wedding because some people like to be negative and will be happy to have SOMETHING to use to darken our special day.
     
  8. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    Mar 27, 2013

    My Eldest son met his (now) wife online about 6 years ago. They have been married 3 years and our grand daughter is 21 months old now.

    It wasn't a dating site though. They both have a mutual interest in Ice Hockey and support rival teams (he supports Coventry and she is a Cardiff supporter). They first coresponded through a Hockey website.
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 27, 2013

    Meeting someone online...no problem. Having unprotected sex on a first date and getting pregnant? Pretty darn stupid.:dizzy:
     
  10. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Mar 27, 2013

    Exactly.
     
  11. bison

    bison Habitué

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    I think meeting online is only taboo for people who are older, living in the past, or that don't know how to use the internet. I met my BF online through a mutual interest group, not a dating site. My mother doesn't know this because she thinks people only meet serial killers online. She doesn't know anything about the internet except how to check her email and look at recipes. She's a saint, but just not quite with the times in this area. I don't think BF's grandmother knows either, for the same reason.
     
  12. Cicero

    Cicero Companion

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    Mar 27, 2013

    I met my fiance on an online dating website for geeks. Now there's a story for the grandchildren, haha. :)

    I think most of the taboo is gone these days.
     
  13. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    That's true. My parents were very skeptical of the Internet. When I went online and met my social group friends Dad just knew I was going to get conned. That was almost eight years ago. I've travelled w/several of them, been to a couple weddings, etc.
    Awww, that's so sweet. We geeks shall inherit the Earth. :) I might as well have been on a geek site though b/c what caught my eye about fiance email is his subject line was a tag line from a video game. I'm not a gamer at all, BUT I recognized the geekiness and got super excited.

    I'm glad most of the taboo is gone b/c I have a sad, single friend at work who I've been thinking about suggesting online dating to, but I don't want her to feel like I think she is pathetic and "can't meet a guy in real life". I don't think she (or most people) know that I met fiancé online. I am proof that it can work.
     
  14. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Mar 28, 2013

    Due to the change in the times, meeting people online isn't taboo (maybe for ME personally!) Things are different these days, that's for sure, whether for the better or worse. The farthest I'd probably ever go is find a social group online to meet/make friends, but I don't even see myself doing that.
     
  15. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    I see trouble ahead; how will they raise the child to pick the right team? Just kidding.
     
  16. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Do you mean sad as an emotion? Because the best way to help her not feel 'pathetic' is to not refer to her as your 'sad, single friend'. I hope none of my friends speak about me that way!
     
  17. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Sad as in she feels sad not because I think she is pathedic. That would be mean. Also when i was single i sometimes felt sad too but i didnt want pity just compassion. She seems very lonely and has told me that she really wants to meet someone special and have children and settle down. But she has a hard time meeting guys.

    I don't wantto suggest online dating to her b/c when I mentioned I was first thinking about online dating a few months before I met fiance she was very negative. Same when she found out I met my roommate on craigslist.
     
  18. Catcherman22

    Catcherman22 Companion

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    Mar 28, 2013

    I "met" my wife online through mutual friends.. we chatted for about 9 months before we actually met in person. When we met, it felt like I had known her for years. It made the initial relationship that much easier.
     
  19. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I kind of met my husband online on the school computer system. We were actually in the same computer lab on campus LOL Anyway, I know many people who have met online, with dating sites and on other sites. I think it's very common right now since people spend a LOT of time on their computer every day.
     
  20. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    My friend is getting her PhD and wanted to date but just never has time to go out. So I told her to do online dating! It was a lot of fun drinking wine, filling out a profile, sending out a few messages.

    I tried really hard to make her understand that this is how busy people meet now-a-days. There's nothing wrong with her, she just doesn't have time to go out a lot. So why not use online dating? Nothing wrong with it :)
     
  21. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    :yeahthat: my friend at work is a great lady, but I think she doesn't meet people for those same reasons, plus most of her social life revolves around school (which is mainly women and kids), church (hers is very small and when I visited everyone was either married or too young in their tiny congregation) or going out w/a group of girlfriends (men are intimidated sometimes to walk up to a big group of females), so online seems like a good option.

    She's a little older than me (like 35 I think) and seems very skeptical of the Internet for dating and friendship. Maybe when she comes to my wedding and sees my fiancé isn't a serial killer and the other couples at wedding who met online she'll change her mind.

    I just feel sad for her. I want so much for her to meet that special someone. She told me before break "maybe there just isn't someone for everyone and I am meant to live and die alone". :(

    EDIT: is ur friend going to try it or is she still deciding?
     
  22. PandaBoy

    PandaBoy Guest

    Apr 4, 2013

    no, online dating is definitely not consider taboo anymore. Well, i never thought it was even when it was still new.

    There are plenty of normal looking women seeking relationships over online dating. Especially at Christian Mingle. You can read some of other peoples review about Christian mingle here at http://www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/christian-mingle/
     
  23. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Apr 4, 2013

    I have embraced this and it shouldn't make any of my friends sad. Can you tell I'm a little sensitive about the 'sad' word?? I don't think there is someone for everyone and I am truely happy with how my life is going without a significant other. It doesn't sound like your friend is quite there, but instead of wishing for something I didn't have, I have embraced what I DO have... and I am truely blessed!
     
  24. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    I'm glad you have found peace/happiness and feel blessed. maybe my friend will eventually get there but for now she has not. Whenever a friend is unhappy, I try to stay positive, but I'll still feel sad/bad to see someone I care about suffer. If she was okay with her situation the way another of my single girlfriends (she has dated some but no steady boyfriend for several years and thats the way she likes it) then I wouldn't worry about it. But my work friend doesn't like being single.

    It's like if I had a friend who was overweight and depressed about it and another overweight friend totally comfortable w/her body and happy. I would feel sad for my sad friend not getting what she wants even though both are in a similar situation.
     

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