Instructions from a boss who wants ordinary office workers to feel like teachers

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Sarge, Jul 13, 2012.

  1. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Jul 13, 2012

    1. You must be in your office or cubicle from 8:00 to 12:00 and from 12:45 to 3:00. You may not leave during those times for any reason no matter how important. Before the start of each day, you must ensure you have all necessary supplies and equipment. In the event that you run out of anything (paper, toner, etc) or in the event of any equipment failure, you must figure out a way to do your job in the same amount of time without those items.

    2. The following work activities are not allowed during the hours prescribed above:

    • Making any kind of phone call, work related or otherwise.
    • Sending or reading email, work related or other wise.
    • Your required five page daily report.
    • Ordering supplies (you may never stockpile more than two days worth)

    All of these things will be done between 12:00 and 12:45 or after 3:00

    3. Your computer has been rigged so that a small icon will appear in the lower right hand corner at random times. There are 20 different icons and each one requires a different level of urgency with regard to your response. Your required response will range from no action to shutting down your computer within five seconds. In the event you do not respond accordingly, your computer will lose all data. You must be well versed in each icon and what it means. Some icons will change over time, and you will need to use your own judgment as to what response to use. Finally, this feature of your computer will be in effect whether or not your computer is being used. Also, please be aware that most of your job will require you to attend to things other than your computer. But during those times, you are still responsible to monitor them.

    4. You will have four computers.

    5. At numerous times throughout the day, people will come into your office and attempt to prevent you from doing your job. They will do so by picking up your phone, attempting to distract you, turning off your computer, and removing needed items from your office. You must stop them from doing this. However, you cannot attempt to physically stop them and any conversation with them must be pleasant and cheerful no matter how abusive they are to you. You are only allowed to use positive incentives to get them to leave as long as those incentives are not cash or food. Please note that you are responsible for the self esteem of any people who come into your office and must ensure that they are happy when they go home each day. Finally, keep in mind that whenever these people come into your room, you must continue to monitor your computers.

    6. At 3:00, you may leave if you do not have a biweekly meeting and all of your reports, emails, and phone calls are caught up and your supplies are ordered. However, it is not advised that you do so, as it may lead the general public to think that you do not do any work.
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jul 13, 2012

    Brilliant!
     
  4. Lynn K.

    Lynn K. Habitué

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    Jul 13, 2012

    Genius! I'm tempted to forward this to everyone who has ever said something snarky about my 'easy' schedule.
     
  5. Ross

    Ross Comrade

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    Jul 13, 2012

    Clever!
     
  6. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Jul 13, 2012

    OMG! I'm reposting this on Facebook. I love it!
     
  7. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Jul 13, 2012

    :D
     
  8. AZMrs.S

    AZMrs.S Cohort

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    Jul 13, 2012

    This is great!
     
  9. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Jul 13, 2012

    Awesome!
     
  10. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Jul 13, 2012

    That IS pretty funny. The only thing I really don't relate to is the bathroom issue. I usually go during the morning and/or afternoon "break" time when the kids are going as well. When nature has placed an URGENT call during class time, however, I've always been able to find another teacher or someone from the office to watch my class while I'm gone.

    Other than that, I agree with everything the boss is saying!

    BTW, I posted the OP on my FB page as well! :)
     
  11. CFClassroom

    CFClassroom Connoisseur

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    Jul 13, 2012

    Don't forget...stand on your feet all day, talk NON-STOP, drink to stay hydrated...but, you are not allowed to pee. :)
     
  12. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Jul 13, 2012

    Some schools don't even allow the teachers to drink during the day :(
     
  13. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Jul 13, 2012

    #2 should definitely include using the bathroom.

    #7 - you have 10 sick days a year. However, if you choose to use them, a temp will be called. You must leave detailed plans explicitly explaining exactly what the temp is to do in your absence. Please break down the plans in 15 minute intervals.
     
  14. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Jul 13, 2012

    I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this one!!! It literally made me laugh out loud!!!

    I guess the not-so-funny part is that it's actually part of our job as teachers!
     

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