In lieu of favors at weddings...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by leighbball, Mar 29, 2009.

  1. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Mar 29, 2009

    I'm getting married in August and have been looking over a lot of the things we need to do over the next few months. Before we even got engaged, my fiance and I had agreed to make a donation in memory of my mom (who died when I was 4) in lieu of favors. We're planning on placing something at the tables detailing the donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (mommy died of lymphoma), which is an organization I am very involved with. I want to do something simple, yet tasteful. I've thought of business card-sized cards, postcards, LLS bracelets with a tag...but I can't decide.

    Has anyone ever been to a wedding where they did something like this? What did you like or not like about what they did?

    Thanks for your help!! :D
     
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  3. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    I went to a wedding where the bride lost her dad to cancer. Each place setting had a cancer awareness bracelet. It explained the color and meaning of the bracelet. She didnt do all lymphoma she had all types which I thought was nice.

    It is something I would do but I know the reminder of it would be hard on my family. I will plan on one day when I get married to just make a donation in my mom's name who couldn't be there with us.
     
  4. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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  5. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    The only time I've seen it done was a friend's wedding - he's a cancer survivor. During their speeches they announced that in lieu of favors, a donation had been made to the American Cancer Society.

    DF and I are thinking of doing the same thing... instead of a WEDDING. Yes, we are crazy! But for us, a traditional 'wedding' with family and friends won't mean much without my mom and his brother there, so donations to AMS and Muscular Dystrophy research for us.
     
  6. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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    What about a picture magnet of you and your soon to be husband with the information you want on the back.
     
  7. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    That's a cool idea or just do the "ribbon" on the magnet. Who doesn't love magnets!!!:D
     
  8. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Thanks guys! And thanks deedee for the links to the articles!
     
  9. Learner4Life

    Learner4Life Cohort

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    DUDE!!! I think I might want to use the magnet idea AS favors! How cool!

    Leigh, business cards sound great because you probably don't want to spend as much money on favor-like things that will cost you an arm and a leg anyway and you can make it on your own. There are some of those rubber bracelets, though, that make a donation with every one purchased. You can purchase those in bulk online.
     
  10. MissJennifer

    MissJennifer Companion

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    We did this for our wedding last year - our donation was made to the church camp where I have volunteered for a LONG time - and where we got engaged. So we made a bookmark type thing and had them at the tables at the reception. We got a LOT of positive feedback!

    Leigh - I've been REALLY involved with the LLS for about 5 years myself! I'm a big advocate for childhood cancer awareness - and I've been a team leader for the national team Friends of Heroes (formerly Friends of Allie) for Light the Night. I wasn't able to participate this past year because we got married in September, which is LTN season! Do you do Light the Night or Team in Training? I think I'd like to set up Pennies for Patients at my school!

    ETA: Forgot to add! You might check the LLS website - I know some charities have information available that they'll send to you specifically for this reason (favors for weddings). I also like the idea of using the awareness ribbon somehow - what are your wedding colors? Lymphoma is an orange ribbon, is that right? Could be cool to have your groomsmen where the ribbon on their lapel instead of a bouteinier (sp?) or use them as decorations or something! Just a thought! :)
     
  11. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    It's been a while since I've been to a wedding (too old for MY friends...and our kids are too young to be having weddings of their own).

    So explain this to me. You give the money you were thinking of putting out for favors- and give it to a charity? And/or you ask for donations from the guests (as well)?

    Do you make an announcement of it throughout the night... the singer or DJ says something, or you two say something around the time of the toast?

    I've never been to a wedding where this was done.
     
  12. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    McKenna - the one I went to had the bride and groom donating the money they would have spent purchasing favors for guests to the charity. The guests were not asked to make a separate donation at the wedding.

    They simply announced that instead of purchasing favors, they decided to make a donation to the American Cancer Society. It was an issue that was very close to their hearts.
     
  13. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    I'm involved mostly with Light the Night. I'm on the planning committee for the South Jersey chapter and have been doing it for about 8 years now. Last year, my mom was an honored hero at the walk that I actually walked at (I walk at one and volunteer at 2 others for the chapter).

    Lymphoma is a yellow ribbon, which could work actually. The society as a whole is a red ribbon...I have some thinking to do:) I actually sent an email to the 2 girls who run the LTN campaign to see what they think. :)
     
  14. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    I think this is a great idea. I really like the idea of giving to charities in lieu of gifts for the guests.

    I have not seen this at weddings, but have seen it at bar and bat mitzvahs.

    I have also seen people write in their invitations that they would accept donations to x charity in lieu of gifts.... I think it would be fair that you state this, since you won't be having favors for the guests. Chances are that most people will still give you a gift anyway... :)
     
  15. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I plan to do this when I get married as well.

    I like the idea of a bookmark. I would also include information on the organization - could include something like "If you would like to make a donation in honor of our special day, contact..."
     
  16. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    We are putting out little bags of Hershey kisses at each place with a tag that says "With love and kisses, a donation has been made in your name to _______." We're still undecided whether we want to do Leukemia & Lymphoma Society or a literacy one (or both).
     
  17. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Don't have time to read all the posts but Beth did this at her wedding last summer. Remind me later I'll FB her to come to this thread.
     
  18. jenngugs

    jenngugs Companion

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    I'm planning on doing the same at my wedding. I am going to print up a large post-sized 'explanation' that in lieu of favors we have chosen to make a donation. I'm going to frame it and display it on an easel near the place card table.
     
  19. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I haven't been to a wedding for quite a few years, but I think that this is a wonderful idea!
     
  20. love2teach

    love2teach Enthusiast

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    I did this at my wedding and we just typed up a simple little card. It thanked eveyone for sharing in our day and that in lieu if gifts donations were makde to XX chairty.
    Money well spent!!
     
  21. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Jaime's right, that's what I did for favors at my wedding last year. My father in law passed away from lung cancer in August 2007 (10 months before the wedding), so we decided to donate to Dana Farber and the Jimmy Fund and give our guests LiveStrong bracelets as favors. The Jimmy Fund is closely affiliated with the Red Sox (ours and FIL's favorite team) and he always wore his LiveStrong bracelet, so it was very appropriate. We attached cards to the bracelets stating that a donation was made and asking our guests to wear the bracelets to show their support for finding a cure.

    [​IMG]
    We put the bracelets in bowls near the place cards because there were two sizes and we wanted people to be able to choose the size rather than putting one at each place setting. We had 140 bracelets for 100 guests and brought about 7 bracelets home with us. :)
     
  22. Emma35

    Emma35 Connoisseur

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    These are all wonderful ideas!! Much better than giving out favors because honestly, from all the weddings I have gone to I never saved any of the favors. Usually they end up in the trash or in a garage sale. I love the bracelet idea, the bookmark idea...and all the rest.
     
  23. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Thanks for all of the ideas! Beth- thanks for the picture and explanation of what you did :)
     
  24. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    I have no ideas, but I think that this is an awesome idea. How wonderful to think of this.


    Beth, those cards and bracelets were very nice.
     
  25. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    You're welcome!
     
  26. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Thanks! :) We got the cards from vistaprint for practically nothing and tied them to the bracelets with pink and green ribbon (our colors).
     
  27. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    LLS has red rubber bracelets, so I am considering that idea, but I'm going to see what else they have as well. I was given the name of the girl at the chapter to talk to. Apparently they do it quite often :) Thanks for all of the ideas everyone!!! I'm really excited about this...just hope my stepmom can deal with the whole thing. Its my day, so I don't really care, but she often refers to my mom as my dad's "past life".
     
  28. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Whether she can deal with or not should not matter; she should know that your mother would always have a special place in your heart. When someone gets married, it is very hard not having one of your parents there and you want that person to be remembered in some way on that special day.
     
  29. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Thanks DHE...I agree and actually emailed my dad about the whole thing last night. I'm very close with my dad and asked for his advice because I don't want to make my stepmom feel uncomfortable, but she needs to deal with this too. Hopefully he will come up with some good advice on dealing with my stepmom- since I already told him not doing this is NOT an option for me :)
     
  30. chitownteach

    chitownteach Rookie

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    My friends donated to St. Jude and St. Jude provided a nice letter that they rolled up with ribbon and put on every place setting.
     

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