I'm thinking about voluntarily going missing!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Davidfizix, Dec 19, 2013.

  1. Davidfizix

    Davidfizix Rookie

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    Dec 19, 2013

    I'm sorry to take the spirit away from Christmas, but:

    First of all, I'm really hurt at the lack of responses from my previous thread, "30+ things I miss about teaching." I was expecting ALL KINDS OF responses like, "Oh, I can relate to that!" or "I had a student who did that also!" But all I got was a couple of responses saying, "That list doesn't sound like inspiration."

    In light of that, I'm thinking about (not decided) voluntarily going missing. NOBODY cares about me, neither on the Internet or in real life. I can't get a teaching job in Germany because of the European Union. I can't get a job in the Ukraine because I'm OVERqualified. I can't get a job in Russia because I'm not qualified ENOUGH (besides, there is a lot of red tape to get a visa for that country). I haven't tried Asia (which is probably the #1 hotspot for ESL), but I know I would have to obtain a Chinese or South Korean visa in my HOME country (the U.S.). That leaves me with Latin America.

    So, I figure, get a job teaching in Latin America, preferably with a school that offers FREE room and board, that way, no need to use a bank or ATM. I've seen enough Investigation Discovery shows to know that when a person goes missing, the first two things a private investigator checks are cell phone records and bank account activity. I don't have a US cell phone anymore, so that's not an issue. I do not care, in fact, I would LOVE to fall victim to human trafficking, and work on, say, a sugar plantation somewhere in the Caribbean or Latin America (free room and board, right? :lol:) Then, I'll be declared legally dead in seven years. This is kind of an alternate option to suicide, since everyone (including A to Z members) knows I'm too scared to do it and so I'm not going to.

    But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but....for you teachers (or anyone) out there who have children of your own: Do you think this is a cruel thing to do to my parents? This is probably the only thing stopping me. I have seen on Investigation Discovery shows about missing people how the parents always go in front of the camera and say things like: "Is s/he dead or alive?" "If alive, is s/he being held captive?" "Is s/he being given adequate food and shelter?" "Why won't s/he come forward and say something?" or even: "If the kidnapper is watching this, please release my child! I promise I won't press charges. I just want him/her back in my life! (tears)" I don't want my parents to know that I failed at my attempt to get a job in Germany, so I want to "drop out of society."

    I've heard many adults voluntarily go missing every year, so this is NOT a new concept. Also, I'm sure many A to Z Teacher forum members would like a break from me and my posts as well!

    In spite of this negative post, happy holidays and I wish teachers a great spring semester!
     
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  3. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Well, you made interesting reading.
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Please seek help, David.

    THe last we heard, you were teaching iN Germany. You mentioned that there was a suicide hotline you could access. If you're thinking of " going missing" because a bunch of strangers on the internet didn't react the way you had hoped, then I imagine it's time to hit that hotline. You don't know us and we don't know you... our reaction to a post on a message board simply shouldn't matter that much to you.

    And to answer you question, if one of my children ever pulled that sort of a prank, I would never recover. It would hurt beyond measure to imagine that one of my kids could do something so incredibly cruel. Even it they eventually changed their mind and resurfaced, it would damage our relationship beyond measure.

    Again, David, please seek help. Today. Now.
     
  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Exactly what Alice said. I'm sorry if youi interpret that as not caring about your well-being.
     
  6. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

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    Dec 19, 2013

    I didn't respond to your post about missing things because I had my first year over 20 years ago. I have very few memories from that year at this point. So, I didn't relate to your post, thus I didn't respond. That happens on forums. When people have nothing to say, they don't say anything. You can't read that as no one cares. You must read it as many of us have nothing to say about that topic for whatever reason.
    Disappearing would crush your parents. Until you have children you will never understand that fact. The closest I can relate it to would be to think about how you would feel if your beloved pet were to disappear. Now magnify that by a billion and you will just begin to imagine what it would do to your parents.
    Also if my children were to fail in getting a job I would not be upset. My primary goal in life is for my children to be healthy and happy. As long as they have those two things we can deal with all other issues.
     
  7. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Dec 19, 2013

    I live in Latin America. Good luck finding a school with free room and board. Even the best, most prestigious schools in my area do not offer free room and board.

    Also, Latin America is a lot more expensive than most people set out to believe. And you get paid jack squat. About enough to afford a tin roof over your head and rice and beans for every meal.

    Good luck.
     
  8. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Dec 19, 2013

    David, you need to seek help for your issues. Immediately. There is nothing we can say that will help you more than to seek immediate psychiatric care. Apparently, you care what we have to say and how we respond, so I hope this reaches you:

    Get help. Now.
     
  9. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Dec 19, 2013

    I read the post and thought it was complete. There was nothing to add to it. Didn't realize you needed the validation.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Hey David, it's been a long time since you've been on here! I was going to ask how things were going these days, but I guess it's obvious by your thread. Sorry things aren't good. I'll PM you the rest (later today since I'm about to leave for work).
     
  11. BookReader813

    BookReader813 Companion

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Call this harsh if you want. I call it "tough love" even though you are a stranger to me.

    If you continue place your self worth in the hands of others for the rest of your life, you will always be miserable and searching for approval. That is not a great way to live your life. Do not place too much stock in what is said or not said here in Internet Land. It really shouldn't matter that much!

    I have no children of my own, but I can only imagine how I would feel if one of my children willingly decided to go off the grid without telling me. I imagine it to be like a knife stab to the heart. Why cause your parents such agony? If you cannot find a job in Germany, just be honest. They are your parents and will love you regardless of your supposed transgressions.

    David, I know that I do not know you personally. However, even though your post says suicide is not an option, the feeling I get from reading this is that you haven't completely left that "option" alone. Please, get help. I know what it's like to lose someone to suicide. It only causes more pain for those around you.
     
  12. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Dec 19, 2013

    If my son could not find a job, regardless of where in the world he was, I would immediately get him a plane ticket home, love on him until he couldn't stand it and spend a solid amount of time helping him update his resume, look at his option, network, etc. If he left without telling me, I would feel like I wasn't even given the chance to help him.

    I had him because I want to help him grow up in to the most amazing person he can be. I'm here for him emotionally, financially and with physical aid (housing, clothing, etc). That never, ever ends. I even stop and buy homeless men meals and necessities because I feel a bond with their mother-that could be my son. Why on EARTH would he not give me the chance to help him??

    Do not do this without talking to your parents. If you are scared of your father's reaction, at least give your mother a chance. She MADE you. She loves you. You are a piece of her. Don't leave her. It will break her. Seriously.
     
  13. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Dec 19, 2013

    I agree with Alice. You need to get professional help, David. We say this because we do care. Please seek help.
     
  14. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Dec 19, 2013

    A friend of mine is burying one of her sons: he committed suicide last Saturday. Do NOT do that, or anything remotely resembling that, to your mother.

    You want things tidy, I think. Trust me when I tell you that suicide leaves a very, very big mess: administratively, but more so emotionally. Disappearing leaves a smaller mess, but it still leaves a mess - as all selfish acts do: it shifts the onus for taking care of one's life to those one leaves behind.

    You need help, Davidfizix. But the onus is on you: seek help, not death, nor disappearance.

    In the meantime, cat's on to something: you need validation. Frankly, most of us do. Try this: Go find a reputable charity that's preparing for Christmas and ask what you can do to help as a volunteer: dishwashing, serving meals, handing out notices, diapering babies, whatever. As you do what's set before you, you'll be thinking that anyone could have done it, and that's true - but I charge you also to think that, while anyone COULD, you ARE. And therein lies a world's worth of difference.
     
  15. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Das ist sehr unglaublich! ... und schwer...Kopf hoch :) Ich glaube daß viele leute Sie lieben. Sie fehlen ihnen. Sie sind Lehrer, die Kinder und Eltern brauchen Sie. Haben Sie Kraft.

    I haven't worked on my German in about 2 years--how is it with no dictionary or translation device???
     
  16. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Dec 19, 2013

    Davidfizix, ...believe this...disappearing, suicide, whatever...it will leave an incurable mark on your parents...are you actually that uncaring?

    I lost a child to suicide...it has been more than six years and it feels like yesterday...

    We have been encouraging you to get help for years...why are you refusing? You obviously aren't enjoying your life...aren't you getting tired of all this?
     
  17. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Dec 19, 2013

    David, you wanting to disappear sounds like you want to hurt others, your parents, friends, people who know you. Kind of like saying: "you had your chance to love me, like me, while I was here, now I'm gone, and I hope you feel bad".

    If you want to disappear, do it like this:
    A friend of mine is running a charity-school in Guatemala. I can get you in touch with him. You take care of your way there, you can rent a room from a family, and even though it's volunteering, you do make enough to cover your rent + other costs and a little left over.
    You can disappear, because no one will find you if you don't want them to, and in the meanwhile you're helping children in need by teaching them.
     
  18. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Dec 19, 2013

    I have a son who has schizophrenia and a learning disability. He blames all of his problems on me. He is 27 years and does not work. He has a wife, a son, and a stepdaughter. Even though it saddens me that he does not support his family, it has not stop me from loving him and doing all I can for him and his family. There has been times that he has not gotten angry with me and wouldn't call me for a while. One time he moved out and did not let me know where he was living. You better believe I was asking everyone that I thought could help me, if they knew where he was staying. This was before the wife and kids. The pain that I felt was unreal; so, please do not break your parents heart and disappear. As children, we do things to disappoint our parents, but doesn't stop them from loving us. It is a parents' job to expect the best from our children. I definitely agree that you need to seek help. Add me to list of those who get the feeling that suicide maybe an option. Son, talk to your parents and let them help you. Parents live for their children. I will keep you in my prayers.
     

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