I'm taking a "break" from this site.

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by ecteach, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    Feb 15, 2014

    I must first say that I really like this site. It's the only site I've found where I can get honest, professional advice. But, it's time for me to take a break.

    I do not agree with the "rules" on this site. Some people are argumentative and rude on almost every single post, and they are allowed to continue to post. Other people have their threads "locked" because OTHERS choose to perpetuate their "rudeness agenda" on their topics. The moderators obviously have their favorites, and that's just not fair. The most innocent post can be turned into something crazy. It's the same people every time, and I am simply tired of it. I've had posts deleted because I used implied a curse word with ****'s, and others can curse all day long and nothing is done.

    Thanks to those of you who sent me private messages regarding the last hijack of a thread I posted. I really do appreciate that.

    Have a nice day, and enjoy the weekend.
     
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  3. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I want to apologize for sharing my opinion on that thread. It did strike me as inappropriate to compare teachers with Marines and support that comparison with a few cases of heroic acts, but it's not always necessary to debate everything I find questionable. Since it's a discussion forum, though, I often do (because I feel that's part of the purpose of a forum). But I realize you meant no harm and in fact were trying to be uplifting. I should have let it go. And I absolutely agree with you that it strikes me as odd and even frustrating how things are sometimes moderated. I've had to take time-outs as well. Later. :)
     
  4. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I just now read that thread. O. M. G. You have started a thread that was positive, uplifting, giving kudos to teachers and more than half of the responses were uncalled for, and they made no sense. I have no idea what happened there.
    And the fact that you compared teachers to Marines... so what? Some will agree, some won't, whatever.

    I started a thread where I compared student behavior / training to dog behavior and training. No one agreed with me, I'm sure a lot of people were put off, and I can see why, although I was not saying dogs are like kids, I was trying to draw a parallel that I saw so clearly. Others didn't. I still feel the same way, but I won't be talking about it, since no one really agreed with me.


    If you mus take a break, then do it, but if you like this site, don't let a bunch of online strangers influence what you do and how you feel.
    Hugs!!!
     
  5. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Feb 15, 2014

    I'm sorry to hear that, but I completely understand. I've considered it as well. I don't know why some people feel the need to knock others down...repeatedly. It just makes me really grateful I am not like that-can't be a happy life. I really hate those nit-picky arguments where every word is analyzed and criticized-it's exhausting! :yawn:
     
  6. LisaLisa

    LisaLisa Companion

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    Feb 15, 2014

     
  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Feb 15, 2014

    This board isn't perfect, but I think that's more symptomatic of the userbase than the mods. I think that the mods do a really great job on this site. I've been to other message boards and they're always a mess. If you haven't been to another board, go check one out. Any topic. You'll be stunned at how different this one is compared to any one of them.

    In any event, I understand the need for a break here and there. If you need one, take it. There's nothing wrong with that.

    I will say that I do really dislike these "Goodbye, cruel AtoZ!" posts, though. They always turn into a sort of passive-aggressive attack on "some" users. I feel like a better course of action would be to report "some" users, or rather their specific posts, directly, rather than complain in a passive-aggressive way. I also think that "some" users get attacked in these sorts of threads because they are more blunt and to the point and less cutesy and Pollyannaish. Sometimes it is kinder to tell the truth, even if the truth hurts. Sorry, but that's how I feel...and it's probably why I am sometimes viewed as one of "those" users who bullies others. Certainly that's the case, at least judging by the PMs I get from time to time.

    Anyway, sorry to hijack.
     
  8. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    Feb 15, 2014

    I didn't mean to delete my first post, lol. :) I basically said that I hope your break isn't permanent and I'm sorry for what happened on that thread.

    Take care.
     
  9. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Not going to lie... that "Debates and Marathon Threads" is easily, EASILY my least-favorite part of this forum. If threads need to be "quarantined" like that, then fine, but at least let them stay open... anyone who goes there would know what they were getting into.

    With that said, I do think there's a bit of a hairpin trigger on locking threads, but since there's nothing I can do about it, I try not to let it bother me to much.
     
  10. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    The site has been a little...stressed as of late. The moderators agree. First, if you see a post that you think breaks forum policy, please report it. We're volunteers who do our best, but we don't/can't read every post. Also, we have to make decisions while keeping our personal feelings out it. That's tough at times. There are many posts that I don't agree with, but technically they don't break forum policy, so I can't do anything about it.
    2nd, if you don't agree with an action a moderator has taken, you are welcome to message any of the other moderators, or that moderator for clarification. Also, you can use the "contact us" button. That will direct your message to the site owner, moderators don't get that message.
    If your problem is with a small number of posters, you can put them on ignore, and you won't see their posts any more. As for the Marathon/Debate thread- that's an automatic program. Yes, we can choose to send a thread there, but 99% of them head their on their own after reaching a certain number of posts. Once there, they close after a specific amount of time, again automatically.
    There really are some great people on this site, so I hope you stick around, or come back quickly from your break!
     
  11. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    If topics automatically get sent there after 50 posts, why is there an 1100 post topic on the Preservice teacher page, and a 57 post topic on the front page of the general education page?

    Sorry to sound critical (that isn't my intention), it's just a little difficult for me to imagine that the process really is automatic when the "nice topics" don't get sent there, regardless of number of posts.
     
  12. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    The way it was explained to us is that only the main, educational forums fall under the automatic move or posts. Subforums and chat forums do not. I'm sure there's a reason for that, but I don't know it. Again, if founding like something that you see, please report it. We are volunteers who do this because we care about the site. I'm supposed to be having fun with friends right now and instead,I'm checking the site on my phone. We try. I'm sorry if you don't like how we do it. We're all doing the best we can.
     
  13. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    If everyone would play nice, respect each other and not get so snippy and snide, things would be a whole lot better.

    It is hard to read a poster's mood when reading text. You can't read their true emotion without hearing their voice or seeing their facial expressions.

    Some people are going to rub others the wrong way no matter what.

    Some people are going to read the mood of a post wrong no matter what.

    Some people are going to take a response the wrong way no matter what.

    Some people just need to take those people with a grain of salt and grow up.

    If some or all of my post strike a nerve, oh well. I'm just telling the truth. Read my mood/emotion as a parent of a bunch of whiny hiney children who is tired of the bickering and crap.

    If you need to take a break from the board, so be it. The best thing would be to block those that get your panties in a wad.

    It would help of people would just ignore those who want to stir up stinks. Don't feed into their need for drama and such. Yes, they have opinions. Opinion are like butt holes. Everybody has one. You've got to be the bigger person and ignore them. Don't let them get under your skin. That is usually want they want.

    Some people on here pester the snot out of people just by having that "online" green dot by their name.

    It is like the real world. You avoid those you don't like. You avoid those that get your panties in a wad. You don't take a break from real life. If it was work, you wouldn't go stick your head in the sand just to take a break from it. I know I can't.

    Life goes on.

    Off my soapbox.
     
  14. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I've taken breaks before, so I completely understand. I hope you come back soon!

    And, btw, the ignore setting is an invaluable tool. It's sometimes hard to do it because occasionally we like/or are entertained by the "drama", or we get upset and desperately one to voice the other side... But if you can let that go and realize that a) these are strangers b) reading posts for intent is inherently difficult and c) in the grand scheme of things, it's all rather silly, then it's much easier to use that function.
     
  15. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Since I joined in 2005, this site has changed TREMENDOUSLY. Growing pains, perhaps, but general rudeness and an argumentative attitude seems to be an ongoing theme. I limit my posts because I really don't need or appreciate being excoriated for something I say.
    For those of you who remember: Painting Dead Fish and Gilligan's Island (avatars)....yes, that is when I felt "safe" to post something. Now I just expect to be told off or told how wrong I am by someone who knows all. Sad.
     
  16. i8myhomework

    i8myhomework Comrade

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    Feb 16, 2014

    It's the same users that jump on others over and over again just for thinking differently or having an opinion they don't like. "I can't believe a teacher would do that/feel that way!" etc.

    It's the same users over and over and over again. They make this website a miserable place sometimes.

    But atoz will let them stay, so the best you can do is block them and avoid them. That or just move to other message boards. There are others out there with more free reign yet a low tolerance for bs ;)
     
  17. Mrs.DLC

    Mrs.DLC Comrade

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    Feb 16, 2014

    Interesting

    I also don't post often. I tried the ignore for two posters, but much of what they said was highlighted in other posts so I saw it anyway!! I do think most people on here are helpful and supportive. I guess the ones who are" perfect teachers and know everything" must just have some need to always let the rest of us know it. It makes me wonder about how it must be to teach in the same school with them.........oh, wait, their schools are also always wonderful.....:lol: I hope you find somewhere to share ideas and concerns with acceptance.
     
  18. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Feb 16, 2014

    I just read the thread EC and am sorry for how things went down. :hugs:Over the years, I've heard and engaged in many conversations that compare teachers to everything from cops, to wardens, to dog trainers, to parents, to social workers, to dictators, etc.

    While that might offend some people, none of that was meant to disrespect or downplay those said professions. I feel like you were just trying to toot the teaching horn and compliment a profession where so many leave because they feel don't feel appreciated.

    Without going into specifics, I have been attacked twice in a thread (and once in a pm) for opening my heart and it turned me off the site as well. What keeps me coming is the large number of positive people. I try to ignore and not take what the hand full of negative ones say personally.

    If we were looking at each other face to face and worked at the same school, the negative ones would get under my skin.

    But I remind myself that no one on here really knows me, what I am like as a teacher, my classroom situation, what's going on in my personal life, the type of person I am, the challenges I face, etc, except from what I tell them or what they infer from my posts.

    Someone on here chastising me for something I say might be the very person who is on their school watch list for forging grades, cursing at a student, not being an effective teacher, having had several parent complaints, etc.

    Anyway, if you do decide to come back, I hope you'll ignore the negative and focus on those positive ones of us who can disagree without attacking. :2cents:
     
  19. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    So here's a question for you....... Why do people need to announce that they are "taking a break" from the forum? Why not simply stop posting? :unsure:

    (Now it's time to move on to the important issues on ESPN.COM, Nascar.Com, etc ... or perhaps see what's happening on some pro "Gunnie" sites........:lol:)
     
  20. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    People announce from FB a lot and it always cracks me up. A few days before Christmas I had two friends announce they wouldn't be on any social media in order to enjoy family and the meaning of the holiday and they urged everyone to do the same. Um, they both lasted the day or so. Among other posts, Christmas morning tons of pics of presents, presents, and presents! You know, the real meaning of Christmas! :rolleyes:
     
  21. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I think that's what the bullies want. It's sad that people can't write a post and then have to be badgered over and over about it. Online, as in real life, there are people who HAVE to be right all the time to make themselves feel important. Even if they have no experience in the matter. This is a place where teachers are supposed to be supported so I don't know why anyone who wasn't a teacher would feel the need to bully us.

    Anyway, hope those who have left for these reasons come back soon.
     
  22. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Major, I kind of wonder that myself. I guess they just want to inform the majority who have been nice, so they don't start to worry.
     
  23. donziejo

    donziejo Devotee

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    :agreed: I read the thread and understand that you were trying to be uplifting. I think people post they are taking a break for a variety of reasons. Thanks for taking the time to let us know. I hope you will reconsider as I hate to think a few bullies will run you off. There are some that may be outspoken, and that's a good thing. There are a couple that are never part of the solution but just here to make themselves feel important. That's the ones I would block. Thankfully that is only one or two.
     
  24. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    I feel like people announce for the reasons Ms. I said and that they hope that if enough people start leaving the site for that reason that it will make a difference in how people treat each other on the site.

    Other posters have mentioned that despite the few knuckleheads on here, this site is much better moderated than others. I can attest to that, having been a member of Yahoo Answers during my first two years as a teacher.

    I used to post regularly in the Education: Teaching section looking for advice and support. The abuse I got there made me grateful to God when I found this site.

    I remember posting on YA about a student who had poor hygiene. Part of my post said something like: "If the children keep saying she smells, will she start to notice and improve her hygiene on her or do I call her parents? How do I tell them without being offensive?"

    WELL, I got so many nasty replies, some of the cleaner ones being things like, "Are you f--king kidding me?" and "You should quit teaching idiot. Obviously you should go tell the school nurse." and "What grade do you teach and where so I can make sure my child is NEVER in your class."

    That kind of stuff would NEVER fly on here. I'm not saying you all would've sugarcoated it, but it would have been a much more respectful response on AtoZ:thumb:
     
  25. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Feb 16, 2014

    I began posting on social forums in October of 2001. Since then, I have participated in hundreds of discussions on most of the hot topics, especially politics and religion. I've posted on general forums, Christian forums and even joined a pagan forum so *I* would be the "outsider" for a change (btw,the members of that forum were easily the MOST respectful member - as a whole - I've ever encountered).

    In all those years and all those forums, I can say AtoZ DOES allow certain members to continue posting remarks that are are condescending, snarky, argumentative and just sometimes downright rude and insulting to other members who don't agree with their views.

    I've seen it from the same members time and again. I've also seen it from at least 1 moderator on a regular basis. One who seems to have a particular issue with me and my own posting style. In one thread in particular, it was the moderator who posted the first snarky, condescending remark in what had been - up to that point - a very respectful discussion.

    So please spare me - and the rest of the members - the excuse that "We can't read every post in every thread". You don't have to read every individual post because the members who do this do it on a regular basis in numbers of threads. It is a continuing pattern.

    If you don't see individual posts, that's understandable. If you don't see and recognize a pattern of posting such comments in numerous threads, then you either aren't looking at all or you're just looking the other way because of who the member is.

    While AtoZ may not be the worst forum out there, it certainly does have lots of room for improvement for a forum that is supposed to be a collection of professionals concerned with helping and encouraging each other.
     
  26. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Hmm... the ignore button doesn't seem to work. For the first time, just now I put someone on the ignore list, because I prefer not to see anything from that member. And then, there you are, showing a thread started by this member. Went back to the ignore list, and yes, they're on it, so then why is that thread showing??
     
  27. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    I'm a moderator on another site with several million users, and several thousand active users. What's important to remember is that moderators are ultimately nothing but unpaid volunteers who happen to use a forum a lot. They're still regular people, they aren't paid for what they do, and they have the same tendencies towards the occasional grumpiness that anybody else has.
     
  28. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    I understand moderators are volunteers. I also understand each moderator made the CHOICE to serve in that capacity. I've served as a moderator myself. And while we are still people with the same emotions and feelings as everyone else, we make make an unwritten agreement with the members of the forum to keep OUR emotions and feelings OUT of our decisions or posts made as moderators. Just as make that same agreement to our students to remain professional, keep our emotions in check and NOT take it out on them when we are having a bad day

    It was the same when I taught the AWANA classes at my church. I was volunteer and didn't get paid for that, but I STILL had a certain level of conduct and respect I was obligated to display in that role and I freely CHOSE to accept that obligation when I agreed to teach the class.

    If we DO feel strongly about a particular topic or discussion, we can always start the post with a note saying "Mod Mode OFF", which means, in THIS specific discussion, I'm posting as a regular member instead of a Mod and other members can respond freely to what I post.

    In regards to the Mod I mentioned before, not only does this Mod often respond with snarkiness and sarcasm when they disagree with what is being said, they also will sometimes use their power as a Mod to make one last snarky comment, the CLOSE the thread to ensure they get the last word. I've seen it happen more than once.
     
  29. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    This. I was going to post something similar to this...about posters having tantrums and "leaving" because they don't like some response to their post...but this post says it more eloquently.
     
  30. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    I see it differently.

    Almost every one of these "leaving" threads state the same thing; they are tired of the atmosphere of sarcasm, abuse or "bullying" that seems to be allowed without any fear of reprisal. Most of the time, it is not a reaction over a few posts in one discussion, but rather a culmination and history of such posts over an extended period of time and several threads. And the member finally reaches a point where they are tired of feeling 'bullied" by others. So they make a post to finally say "I've had enough of this". The purpose is to indirectly "call out" those they feel have been bullies towards them and also to bring that behavior to the attention of the Mods and the Owner. While they can't monitor every post in every thread, it is pretty certain they WILL take a look at any "leaving" thread posted - as evidenced by this thread.

    In our schools and classrooms, we constantly encourage our kids to "speak up" against bullying and promise our full and unwavering support for those courageous enough to do so.....then we come here and promptly accuse anyone who does just that of wanting to just create drama and draw attention to themselves.

    We ask ourselves and our students "Why won't you speak up against bullying when you see it? Or if it is happening to you?" All you have to do is look at some of the responses in this thread and others to see EXACTLY why they don't; because they know THIS is the kind of response they will receive if they do.
     
  31. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    :thumb: Couldn't agree with you more, swansong1 ..... I thought SpecialPreskoo's post was not only right on the money.. but very entertaining ..... :2cents:
     
  32. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Unfortunately, Cerek ..... some of us are only part time participants at best and don't have a clue about WHO the bullies are .... or specifically WHAT the bully did or say .. I have no idea just what the OP of this thread is upset about...... This is NOT aimed at the OP at all ..... but I think lots of members are too thin skinned. ATOZ IMHO is a very "gentle" forum.. Everyone should go back and read SpecialPreskoo's post.

    (For what it's worth, Cerek, I do enjoy reading your posts..... :))
     
  33. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Perhaps I am being insensitive, but I have rarely seen posts I would consider bullying. What I see are posts of people expressing different opinions, which is their right. Yes, differences should be expressed respectfully, if possible, but we aren't perfect people and sometimes our frustrations come out. Some people are overly sensitive and some aren't sensitive enough. Some people agree with me, and some don't. Sounds like the real world to me.
     
  34. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Seriously. We are about to the point of banning "bullies". Some people are sensitive. I get that. Some people don't give a rip and have no clue their views are seen as rude and bullyish. Or they do have a clue and just don't give a rip.

    I'm not asking for world peace. I'm asking for some to put their big girl panties on or grow some balls. Grow a backbone. Realize that these people that are rubbing you the wrong way are STRANGERS! Don't let their high and mighty attitude get to you.

    I see reports from the BULLIES because their toes are getting stepped on by those that are trying to speak up for themselves.

    I just want the "bullies" to get a freaking clue! BACK THE HECK OFF! Shut your blasted mouth? Did I offend you????? GOOD! Go hide in a corner and pout about it. At least you will leave others alone for a while.

    It is flipping ridiculous that there is so much CRAP going on this board. Where is the support? OUT THE FLIPPING WINDOW! You harsh folks don't get it. WE DON'T LIKE THE ATTITUDE! NO ONE DOES!

    Really, I have NO PROBLEM AT ALL BANNING those that can't keep their bully a$$ comments to their selves.

    We try to abolish bullying in schools but you get on here and strut your stuff! GROW THE H-E-L-L UP!!!!

    Don't like my bad words? I DON'T LIKE YOUR BULLYING ATTITUDE! Don't bother reporting my post. It won't be moderated. Some of you just don't see it unless it is IN YOUR FACE!

    The ones that take their "breaks" don't need to. THE FREAKING A$$HOLES on here causing all this crap needs to go take a break. Reflect on how you treat others on here. My southern hospitality has been put on a self for right now. My mama hen has kicked in.

    If I could do it, I'd make a real time out room on here and put all you snots that pester the crap out of others in there to duke it out among yourselves. Make each other miserable instead of the ones that don't deserve your crap.
     
  35. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    Feb 16, 2014

    I wrote this long post about some things addressed in this thread and based on my experiences lately. But then, I decided to exercise something I find lacking in a few members here, the maturity and wisdom to know when to express an opinion. If you want to know what I wrote, I'll PM it to you.
     
  36. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    There's only one user here that I've ever considered to be a bully, and I certainly don't expect that user to be banned for what he/she says, and on the bullying scale... well, there's only so much that a bully can really do on the other end of a keyboard without even knowing your name.
     
  37. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Yeah, but even that amount is unnecessary. And there is more than one.
     
  38. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Feb 16, 2014

    I'm sure there are... there's only one that gets under my skin though. There are other users I don't care for or that I always disagree with, but there's only one whose posts I look at as accomplishing nothing/attempting to do nothing but pissing me (and others) off.
     
  39. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Feb 16, 2014

    I understand your point of view. Personally, I see the forum as an anonymous entertainment venue. People watch tv or read a book, or post to a forum for entertainment. If they don't like the tv or the book, they turn it off (or close the book). I see bullying as something that is a personal, face to face activity directed at a specific person (or group of people). I just don't see how an anonymous poster saying something snarky to another anonymous poster (who can hit the exit button) is the same thing as the bullying you are speaking about.

    I have no problem agreeing to disagree, however. I'm not trying to convince you to change your opinion.
     
  40. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

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    Feb 16, 2014

    I think some people come here to seek advice so they can be the best teacher they can possibly be. When they pose a question and get attacked I think they are taken aback because that wasn't what they were looking for from this site.

    I am one of those people that came here to learn for others. There are times people post their opinions in a nice way. When their opinion is the complete opposite of mine I am happy to read their post and to look at it from their point of view because it helps me grow as a teacher and as a human. When they are nasty I just want to retreat and avoid that person which no longer makes this site a learning experience for me.

    I once innocently asked a question because I was trying to understand the person and where they were coming from. I didn't understand their viewpoint and I thought I could gain some understanding if I asked a question about their background. You would have thought I was starting world war 3 from the response of the person I so innocently asked a question of. I tried to explain my intention and the person just wouldn't stop attacking me and putting words in my mouth. Ever since then I have avoid any posts this person is involved in because I don't want to be attacked again. That makes me sad because we, as teachers, should treat each other as we would our students. A little kindness and compassion can go a long way.

    Please don't attack me for my opinion. I am just trying to share my feelings ~right or wrong.
     
  41. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Feb 16, 2014

    ec~I haven't read the particular thread yet, but I am sorry that it has come to having to take a break. I have done it myself and I know a lot of other posters that have done the same thing. Sometimes we just need to step back for a time and come back with a different frame of mind.

    There have been a couple of posters that have used to post regularly, but have not been on for some time. They could just be too busy with their lives to post, but you still worry if something has happened to them (it's happened before). So it's nice to be made aware of when regular posters are just taking a break, especially if the break is a long one.
    I think like in schools, 'bullying' gets thrown around at the first sign of hurt feelings. Bullying would be if a certain poster went around posting negative, hurtful things on a particular person's threads. I haven't seen that here. There's a difference between bullying and disagreeing. It's tough to put your real thoughts on here for fear that someone will disagree and then attack you for your opinions. Just because they don't jive with your thoughts does not mean that you or the poster is wrong or that one is bullying the other. The world in general has made it almost impossible to disagree with anyone.

    And as for the mods, that is a 'job' I would not want on any forum. They work hard to make sure that this site is worth coming to and the environment is a safe one to post to. There are rules, and if the poster is not breaking those rules, then they can't be banned. Are there posters I think need to be banned? Of course, but if they technically aren't breaking any rules and you don't like what they say, then ignore them.
     

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