I'm so angry that I want to cry!

Discussion in 'General Education' started by orangetea, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Mar 19, 2012

    There is a student in my senior class who is really getting on my nerves. She is so rude, and every time I announce a quiz or a test, she starts complaining. She says that "No one cares about their work anymore, so why are you assigning it? Mrs. G (their old teacher, went on maternity leave) said we would do nothing in 2nd semester! She said we would just watch movies!" This is clearly, not true.
    Then, one of my students, who actually cares about learning, says "That's not true."
    Then this girl goes "Whoever said that, I hate you."
    I was SO MAD. I felt horrible for the other girl, I was close to breaking down. I made her leave the room and wrote her a referral to see the assistant principal. I feel absolutely horrible about this. Personally, I've had a rough week...and this girl just adds to it.
    How do you suggest I deal with her complaining in the future?
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 19, 2012

    I agree. Don't let the griping take center stage. Squash it and move on. If a student wants to seriously discuss what's going on in the class with you, he or she can do that at the appropriate time in the appropriate manner.
     
  4. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Mar 19, 2012

    I do try, but literally the second she starts complaining about a test or assignment, I hear about 10 voices in the room joining in with her.
    For some reason, this girl just gets to me and stresses me out. The vice principal just came to my room to talk about the incident and I completely broke down.
     
  5. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    Mar 19, 2012

    I teach seniors, and I get some of the same complaints second semester. When they say they shouldn't be "doing anything," I'll say, "I didn't get that memo," and just keep going.

    There's a Whole Brain Teaching technique you might try; I use it once in a while. When you announce an assignment or a test, immediately say, "All together now--" and lead them in a big old "Awwwwww." WBT calls it the Mighty Groan.

    Whatever you do, you can't let this girl set the tone for the class. When my seniors complain that something is "too hard," I ask if they're going to college next year (95% are) and then I remind them that college will be harder, and they need to get ready for that. Even if they've been accepted, the CA state schools will rescind the acceptance if a student gets a D in the second semester in a core academic class.
     
  6. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Mar 19, 2012

    If nothing above works, continue to write her referrals for her attitude and maybe try calling or emailing a parent about her attitude.
     
  7. donziejo

    donziejo Devotee

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    Mar 19, 2012

    This...or have her call parent from office while you are with her.
     
  8. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 19, 2012

    She's allowed to not want to work. But she's NOT allowed to put down one of her classmates for having a different point of view.

    I agree with a one-on-one talk. She needs to know that her behavior will not be tolearated, Senior or not.And that you'll write as many referrals as necessary. And that her college acceptance is contingent on her graduation from high school.
     
  9. Myrisophilist

    Myrisophilist Habitué

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    Mar 19, 2012

    This is the first thing I would try. The last thing she will expect is to be approached as an adult and a leader. Projecting those roles onto her may bring about a change of attitude.
     
  10. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    This is what got to me. Many kids in the class are frustrated with her behavior, and the girl who disagreed with her was a very quiet girl who never participates. I feel like she didn't feel safe in the classroom, which is my top priority as a teacher.
    I haven't given her referrals for complaining before, but I'll talk to her and start with that from now on. And I just sent an email to her mother telling her what happened today (including the extremely rude comment she made).
     
  11. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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    Mar 19, 2012

    Curious ... does she blurt out or wait to be recognized by raising hand?
     
  12. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    She just blurts out usually.
     
  13. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Mar 19, 2012

    The one-on-one talk is a good idea, but I would personally have a hard time with it. When a student is blatantly defiant and rebellious, my first instinct is to tackle it head-on, but that isn't always the best approach.

    I would try the one-on-one first. She may very well be surprised (and flattered) at being treated as an adult and change her tone. It is certainly worth a try.

    The only downside I see is that the student may view that approach as a sign of weakness on your part. Since you can't keep her quiet in class, now you're trying to be her friend. This might empower her to act out even more. That would be my main concern, but I still feel it is worth giving her a chance to act like an adult first.

    As for the rude comment, I have NO tolerance for that from anybody and I WILL call any student out in front of the whole class if it happens. If they think they can put someone else down and embarrass them in my class, they will find themselves being the one that gets embarrassed in front of their peers.

    I would explain to the entire class that ANY remarks like that in the future will be an automatic referral to the office. If they really feel the urge to make a comment, they might as save us both some time going straight to the office and saying it to the principle because that is where they will end up after I'm through giving them MY talk in class.
     
  14. Loomistrout

    Loomistrout Devotee

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    Mar 19, 2012

    Is there any procedure or rule in place for speaking? If so, what happens if a student doesn't follow rule?
     
  15. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    To be honest, no, I don't really have one. I've just never had this issue before. Some students do call out sometimes, but I don't really care as long as it's respectful. Ex. I'll have my back turned erasing the problem, and someone says "Wait...I still don't understand it." Or sometimes, they get so excited that they got an answer that they accidentally yell it out.
    I would rather not penalize this girl for speaking out of turn. I feel like that'll be avoiding the real issue. I am much more concerned with how downright rude she is.
     
  16. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 20, 2012

    I agree. If she had said "I never thought of it that way" it wouldn't be a problem. The issue, in my mind, is not that she didn't raise her hand, it's her blatant disrespect for a classmate. Besides, I'm guessing that the "good" kid may also have blurted out her comment.

    And I don't think the one-on-one has to come off as an attempt to garner her affection or anything of the sort. I think it should come off as an adult speaking to a student whose behavior has crossed the line. We all know that some kids will back down in private, where they would feel the need to save face in front of friends. So I would approach this as "we need to have this conversation, because your behavior needs to change.And I really can't afford to spend any more class time dealing with it, so we'll deal with it outside of class." Not necessarily those words, but that tone.

    Admittedly, Seniors tend to slack off once the nice weather hits. (Interestingly, it's frequently the same phenomenon that 8th grade teachers experience as their kids head off to high school.) So if there's any way to work it so the material is more interesting, great. (I realize that it's probably way too late in the year to juggle the acutal material.) But understanding her frustration at still having to work till the end of the year is a different matter from her disrupting your class each time she feels that frustration. She's a big girl, ready to head off to college. She needs to learn how to edit what she's thinking so it doesn't come out of her mouth. (It's a skill that far too many adults have yet to master, so ehe's not alone.) She's absolutely allowed to feel frustrated, and to possibly express that in a respectful manner. But it seems to me that you've already addressed the fact that school is still in session, and that the Seniors are still expected to behave in an appropriate manner. So any further tantrums are out of line.
     
  17. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Mar 21, 2012

    Just had a conference with this girl and she denies ever being disrespectful.
    She says that she thinks it's acceptable to insult her classmates (she says it was a joke, which it was not!) and complain about every assignment.
     
  18. Zabeth

    Zabeth Rookie

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    Mar 21, 2012

    And what was your response to her about this?
     
  19. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    I just told her that even if she thought it was ok, it was unacceptable and rude, and that she would face consequences if it happened again.
    And she sort of rolled her eyes.
     
  20. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Well, now that she's had fair warning, it's time for consequences. You've talked to her privately. You've told her what your expectations are for her behavior. If she is rude to you or another student, send her to the office. If you don't want to do that immediately, then say firmly to her (in front of everyone) "X, you need to stop. We talked about this yesterday. Get to work." Shut it down. Don't indulge her or acknowledge her complaints, and don't let her intimidate you! If she says something, ANYTHING, that is rude back to you, say, "You need to leave immediately." I would have a write up slip ready to go before she even gets to class. She doesn't need to know you prepared it in advance. Fill in all but the details so that you can get her out of your room QUICKLY. She's going to make you draw a line in the sand with her it seems...
     
  21. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Mar 21, 2012

    :yeahthat:
     

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