I'm single!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by funshine2381, Jul 5, 2010.

  1. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Jul 5, 2010

    If you read my post a couple of weeks ago, you will remember that I was having problems with my boyfriend and his x wife. Well, we went to HIS niece's wedding over the weekend and she was there along with her parents and grandmother. She basically followed us around all night...but was blaming it on their son. We were outside by his truck talking to his family and friends, and she busted right in. It was my boyfriend's family function, but she was following us around and trying to use her son as an excuse for it. After she busted in, I went to the RR (really had to go) and a minute later she was there! She had herself, and her 3 adult family members to help her with her son....but instead she chose to leave her other child with them and stalk us the entire evening. She was taking him back with her that evening, but she couldn't stand that we were having a good time I suppose. My boyfriend took care of his son for most of the evening....but she wouldn't let him have a break. I guess the last straw was when we were eating and I had my back turned, talking to his x wife's grandmother. The next thing I know, I look up and the two of them are walking out the door together. He didn't tell me he was leaving the table and going outside...let alone with his x wife that wants him back. His excuse was that she followed him out there and that he was going to get something for his son. My come back was that he could have told her to go sit down and eat dinner with her family and that it didn't take two people to do it. He also asked her if she wanted a beer earlier in the evening. The two of us went to get her beer and he handed it to me to give to her. Does she not have legs to get her own beer? I'm her servant now? I was upset but he turned on me and said he couldn't handle it anymore. He chose her over me I suppose. I moved out and am staying with my parents temporarily. I will thank him down the road for this...because I know it wasn't something I could continuously handle. Thank you all for your replies and support on my previous post...I took your advice I guess you could say!
     
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  3. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 5, 2010

    I know it's hard now, but good riddance. You're better off!
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 5, 2010

    It's always hard to let go of a relationship, even when you know it's for the best.

    Here's wishing you a swift journey to a better place.
     
  5. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 5, 2010

    Thank you for the update. I agree with the two previous posters. Best wishes!
     
  6. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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    I am glad you were able to come to decision while you could just walk away.

    Take care of yourself and your son. Best of luck
     
  7. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Thank you...I just wish there was a pill or a fast forward button to help get over this pain.
     
  8. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 5, 2010

    No pill.

    But there's a lot to be said for the restorative benefits of a good cry or two.

    And of course there's chocolate. There's always chocolate.

    Feel better!!
     
  9. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    Jul 5, 2010

    You are a strong woman to put your foot down like this. It sounds like you have great boundaries and won't settle for less! Hang in there...time does heal and in the meantime..go out and have some F U N! = )
     
  10. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Thank you...I have one of those crying headaches and actually made myself sick to my stomach. I'm also in the process of trying to find a job....so I'm totally starting over right now. Wish I could have some fun, but don't have any friends around here. I cried to my sister though and she listened...so that felt good. I'm so glad she didn't say "I told you so." My son and I went and saw Eclipse this evening though...got my mind off of it for 2 hours.
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 5, 2010

    OK, so you have a tremendous project to throw yourself into: the job hunt.
     
  12. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    yeah, that's another story...I've had 8 interviews so far and nothing. My self esteem is shot at this point. Sorry...shouldn't have a pity party.
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    If you've had 8 interviews in this economy, then you have a killer resume and cover letter!!!

    It's just your interview skills we have to work on.

    Tell you what: we'll get started on that tomorrow... I'm running on fumes at the moment.

    In the meantime, the caffeine in the chocolate will help with the headache.
     
  14. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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    Jul 5, 2010

    How about looking for new ways to meet people -

    *there are usually some types of clubs for SAHM (even though this will only be you during the summer) where you can meet other moms, playgroups,
    *check out the YMCA for groups and clubs
    *libraries sometimes have story times and it is a great way to meet other moms
    *some larger cities will have newcomers type clubs

    hope these ideas might help
     
  15. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jul 5, 2010

    I hadn't seen your previous post about the boyfriend situation, but I, too, agree that you are one strong and smart woman! :thumb:

    Things are looking up! :hugs:
     
  16. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Thank you everyone. I normally love chocolate, but I can't eat right now. We were together for almost 2 years and I just moved in and out of his house. I will try to find other moms...that would be great. Any interview tips would help tremendously...because I'm obviously bad at it. I bought the ebook on here and followed it...guess it's not helping. Hey...where is Irishdave at ? :lol:
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    For now, call it an early night. Go relax in bed with something mindless on TV.

    You've got to be physically and emotionally exhausted. Turn off the computer and call it a night!

    Feel better!!!!
     
  18. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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  19. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    He is coming tomorrow to drop off the rest of my stuff. I couldn't fit it all in my car. My son's bicycle and all my clothes are there. I'm wondering if I should just not be there and let my dad handle it. I just can't even think about looking at him right now.

    Thank you INteacher...I'll look at it.
     
  20. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    That's what parents are for...to help. Your dad will be glad to to that for you; I had to do it for my daughter a few months ago. She, too, was in a 1 yr.+ relationship and moved out. Her ex came by and dropped off her stuff. I couldn't be mean to him; I thanked him and wished him a good day. Don't think my hubby would have done that. LOL
     
  21. Southern JC

    Southern JC Companion

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    Jul 5, 2010

    Sorry to hear about the problems you've had or should I say drama. I know it doesn't help to hear, but you'll get over it. Things happen for a reason and sometimes we just have no control over them and people's actions are definitely something we can't control. Take some me time and I'm sure you'll be back on your feet in no time. I know this may not be fair to single parents who really try to respect the one they're dating, but a rule of thumb for me was to never date a guy with children - just too much drama. Good luck with your job search.
     
  22. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 6, 2010

    Good morning!!

    So, let's talk about that job hunt.

    Tell us what you've done so far.
     
  23. oppa637

    oppa637 Rookie

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    Jul 6, 2010

    what part of texas you in?
     
  24. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Alice, when I was living with my boyfriend...I put in applications all over the place down in that area. I had 8 interviews. I'm certified in English, ESL, special ed, and Art. I only have 2 years experience in teaching and it was high school English. Mostly all of those interviews were for resource English (special ed English and one was for a life skills position)...which I don't have experience in, but no one was willing to take a chance on me I guess. Now that I'm 2 hours away from him and living with my parents...I have another area to swamp with applications. I just can't do it right now or I would...the x has my flash drive and is bringing it later this afternoon along with all my other stuff. Oppa- I'm in South Texas area.
     
  25. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    OK, but what you can do right now is the legwork.

    Make up a spreadsheet and list every single district, every single principal (with his email or address) in every one of those districts. Then do the same with private and charter and religious schools. You're going to need to keep track of who has your resume and who is getting it next.

    Don't concern yourself with where the openings are; "Nothing available" today could mean "Someone quit!" tomorrow.
     
  26. sweetlatina23

    sweetlatina23 Cohort

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    I am so sorry to hear about your recent break up, but in life we have to see it as a blessing. You will understand when you finally meet the right man, and it wouldn't happen if you were still with your ex.

    As for the job interviews maybe you should go over the list of questions that are on here some where. It helps give you an understanding so you can practice and not hesitate to answer. Calling back at least two days after can be helpful, it makes you sound persistent and dedicated. For Texas I must say you have good luck with interviews, I have been applying for 3 years now and not one interview, a coworker of mine has been applying 4 yrs and only two interviews...so hold your head up and be positive about this.

    Good luck and God bless you! I hope you feel better soon...it takes time
     
  27. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Well, he just dropped off my stuff and helped me carry it up the stairs, didn't really say a word. My dad said I needed to handle it myself (plus he has a bad back). I have my flash drive now, so I will be hitting the computer tomorrow like crazy...just too much on my mind right now to totally focus on filling them out this second. Thank you all.
     
  28. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Take care.

    The big changes are never easy, even when they're right.

    Ask someone to proofread your stuff before you send it off-- you don't want an error to get by because you're in a difficult emotional place.
     
  29. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Jul 6, 2010

    Good luck and remember..
    GREAT things happen to those who wait patiently, PLUS that good old saying, "Things happen for a reason." You and your son will find a lot of fun things to take your mind off of that "recycled guy".:whistle:
    Rebel1
     
  30. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Thank you, my son has Asperger's and has problems expressing his emotions. He keeps things bottled up inside, no matter how much I talk to him and want him to tell me what he's feeling. I made sure he was in the back room when my x came. I went to get him after the x left and he had wrapped a pair of panty hose around his neck and made a red burn. He said he did it because he doesn't have a family anymore. It broke my heart. Of course I explained to him that my parents and I are his family. I'm going to have to get him into counseling so that he can talk to someone that can handle this situation with him better than me.
     
  31. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 7, 2010

    I'm certainly no expert here.

    But would it help if your son had the chance to say goodbye?? You had your chance, maybe he could write a letter to your ex or something? Because he's right; his family has been destroyed and he had nothing to say about it or do with it, though I'm not sure he realizes that. And he's probably not mature enough to be objective and to see that it was the right decision.

    I think you're right though, maybe some counseling would help him. For all intents and purposes, he's living through a divorce. The inability to express himself only makes it more difficult for him.

    I imagine he's looking at a new school and a new set of friends as well-- is there a way you could keep him in contact with his old friends?

    How old is your son?
     
  32. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Jul 7, 2010

    I just wanted to give a "sister" a virtual hug. I know this is tough, but you did do what is best for you & your son in the long run. I would definately get some help for your son.

    Keep your head up....
     

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