I'm Sad

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Mrs.Rhinochunks, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. Mrs.Rhinochunks

    Mrs.Rhinochunks Companion

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    I'm sad today and I just need to get it out.

    I woke up this morning in Arizona and I am miserable!

    My husband is military and is stationed 2 1/2 hours away. My daughter and I are living in an apartment and our houshold goods will not be delivered until next Tuesday so we will be sleeping on the floor for the next 6 nights. Thank goodness I planned ahead and brought a small tv with me and our cable was installed today.

    It is soooo hot here. I am from Puget Sound and I miss it. Most of all I miss my house. We had a very nice house (small but we took great care of it). We decided to sell for many reasons but left before it sold. So my house that I miss is sitting empty while I'm here... I think this is what is really bothering me. I am paying mortgage on a house I was happy in and rent on an apartment that I'm not so happy with. I had to go to the laundry mat tonight while my beautiful Duet set sits in storage (and will until we buy a house)If we had been able to sell our house in time and buy one here I think my attitude would be better.

    And restaurant food... it's okay for the first two weeks and then it loses all appeal. At least we can have sandwiches, fruit and bottled water at our convenience now.

    My daughter misses her school and her friends and is not bearing her burden graciously. I feel angry with her sometimes too, when she complains about how this move has effected her... because her dad and I are thrilled with the situation? We had a choice to come here where we would be only 2 1/2 hours from daddy and see him at least on the weekends or stay North and see him 2-3 times a year.

    Our location was influenced by the Washington and California job markets. I am 40 and do not want to sub for the rest of my life. Plus he is only 2 years from retirement eligibility and 6 years from actual retirement and we have no desire to retire in Washington so leaving isn't really the issue.

    I may get a year under my belt and try to find a job in San Diego next year but that creates logistical problems in addition to uprooting my daughter again. And who knows if my husband would even be in port. One great aspect of this location is the AFFORDABLE cost of living.

    I know my attitude will change next week when I have my "stuff", and get into my classroom (school starts in 3 weeks) but tonight I am feeling like I have made a huge mistake.

    I just needed to post. I feel better just writing about it and thinking through all of the reasons we made the choices we did.

    I miss my husband:(
     
  2.  
  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2007
    Messages:
    14,606
    Likes Received:
    2,712

    Jul 19, 2007

    :sorry:

    It will get better.
     
  4. MS Candy

    MS Candy Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2006
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    Hang in there things will get better...:love:
    You have so many things going for you...
    1.your family
    2.you have a JOB
    3.cost is less
    just to name a few....so it will get better!:)
     
  5. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    1,857
    Likes Received:
    2

    Jul 19, 2007

    My husband is military too. I hope things get better, I know how hard it can be.
     
  6. Mrs.Rhinochunks

    Mrs.Rhinochunks Companion

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    I know, I have MANY blessings... I'm just wallowing in self pity tonight. I do feel better because two people reached out. Thank you:love:
     
  7. Amers

    Amers Cohort

    Joined:
    May 4, 2007
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now. I hope that your apt feels more like a home for you and your daughter once some of your things are moved in. I imagine it's hard to get settled when you're sleeping on the floor. I hope you feel better about things tomorrow!
     
  8. ozteach

    ozteach Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    Hang in there:)
     
  9. alwayslearning

    alwayslearning New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    Has it gotten better?

    You are on a life adventure!
    I wonder what good things have happened for you in Arizona? :angel:
     
  10. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2002
    Messages:
    18,938
    Likes Received:
    681

    Jul 19, 2007

    I would feel down in the dumps, too. Make sure to get out of the apartment every day. I hope you and your daughter can lean on each other, but that is asking a lot from a teen. I can imagine her anxiety.

    Have you been able to plan for the new year? Do you have all your stuff?
     
  11. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,304
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    If it's any consolation, we miss you here in Washington. Don't worry...once your stuff gets there, you'll start to feel better. It won't be long. It's tough to move, I know. Hang in there and remember, you can always talk to us.
     
  12. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,291
    Likes Received:
    282

    Jul 19, 2007

    I can understand you, somewhat...

    paying rent and a mortgage...
    empty new condo..
    computer and cable here
    new job starts in august...may not have enough for new carpet or furniture or gas!!...second guess myself alot.

    but enough about me!

    let's get back to you!

    yes, get out! take your restaurant food and have a picnic in the park..or at least in your front/back yard

    walk around, and get to know your new neighbors (hint you have not eaten a real meal in two days...somebody should offer you dinner!!)

    do a treasure hunt...find the library, post office, bank, and of course, your daughter's school. I am sure there is a bunch of folks in there! Even the prinicpal has a fridge, and some real food stashed away! My daughter and I visited her 1st grade teacher in august, and they were both very happy!

    call hubby when you can. be optimistic...complain to us, be positive to him! Be thankful you have him! but make new friends!! and call the old ones. you got a cell phone?? call after daughter is sleep, and whine (vent) to friends. that's what we are here for!

    listen to your daughter...gently remind her things could be worse, you want to show her things will be better soon. Draw pictures...plan for the apartment. let her decorate her room. go to home depot and window shop for new place

    some people actually live like that or worse...(sleeping in cars..eating Burger King for breakfast, McDonalds for lunch and Wendy's for dinner-yes, I did)

    this too shall pass

    God doesn't give us anything we can handle...

    could be 20 degrees below zero, and you only have ..just cans of food, and no microwave.. been there too :(

    just keep your head to the sky...as Earth Wind and Fire would say

    listen to some old music! that always helps me!
     
  13. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    2,468
    Likes Received:
    12

    Jul 19, 2007

    Your last line is the reason you made the choices you did....don't regret being human and be thankful you have a husband you want to see every weekend. Some women might have opted for the 2-3 times a year visit!! LOL
     
  14. luvtoteach

    luvtoteach Rookie

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    My heart goes out to you ... we are military also and moved here to Virginia one year ago. We came from Hawaii and got four years there (one year more than we expected). I am grateful for the time we had, but this was a HARD move. How many times have you moved? We have moved four times now, but this last one was the hardest because my son was seven and his heart was broken.

    I have a hard time adjusting each time (even, believe it or not, when we moved to Hawaii. I felt so sad when we got there and it didn't make any sense because I wanted to leave our previous post really bad because of the stress and hours of work it required from my husband). It helps me to remember the things that I loved about my previous home and community and friends and take that as a blessing. It doesn't necessarily make it that much easier, just helps me remember that each place we go I make new friends and experience new things. It will get better when you get your own things and can make your apartment feel more homey. It's emptiness is probably contributing to getting you down. Call your husband and tell him you need some cheering up. Go exploring your new community with your daughter and find something fun to do that will help you both take your mind off your sadness. Keep looking for the good and you will eventually find yourself smiling!
     
  15. GardenDove

    GardenDove Habitué

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2007
    Messages:
    816
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    Dear Rhino,
    Arizona is a spectacular state with many beautiful sights. You'll need to check out some of the scenery. I can sympathize with you, however.

    I work with a nurse here in Washington who is from Phoenix. She hates Washington and longs for hot weather! She complains constantly about it. Too bad you and she can't trade!
     
  16. Mrs.Rhinochunks

    Mrs.Rhinochunks Companion

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    171
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    Thank you,

    Today already seems better than yesterday did. We are getting out a little. It's just so blazing HOT. The city is almost a ghost town during the day. I know it will get better in just a few days when meetings and induction begin. Last night was just hard.

    I do appreciate the kind thoughts that people have shared. Sometimes it just fells good to be sad and have someone reach out with a kind word.

    This is our 4th move. I am from Washington and my husband is from Oregon. We have been to San Diego before and had a great time. I think it's our house that is getting me down. When we sell it we can buy here I'll feel much better. I miss my washer and dryer almost as much as I miss my husband:p

    My daughter is 10 and she had very nice little friends and I feel bad making her leave them. As I posted before, she is not bearing this move gracefully or graciously:( I understand your son's position and I hurt for him.

    We are going to San Diego tomorrow. I think we will all feel better.

    I wish my husband's ship would deploy soon. It is much easier to be half a world away than 2 1/2 hours.

    Thank you for reaching out. I hope you can look back on your time in VA with smiles.
     
  17. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2004
    Messages:
    3,393
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    My husband is retired from the Air Force and now works for DFAS - Defense Finance and Accounting Service. Due to BRAC, his office in Dayton was closed and we had to move to the Columbus area.

    Last summer we were totally stressed out with selling our "old" house. People would come and look. Sometimes we heard nothing. And sometimes we would come so close, but didn't quite get a deal.

    Finally, just before we had to move, we got an offer on our house. It wasn't quite as much as we had hoped for, but we didn't want to have to wait anymore and keep paying mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc.

    Talk to your realtor. Is there anything else that you can do? Adjust your price? Include any other options (pay for closing costs or things like that)? Do you have flyers that tell about your house posted on the sign outside of your house?

    Selling a house right now is very stressful! But, it only takes one person to say, "This is home for me."
     
  18. Mrs. Mtz

    Mrs. Mtz New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 19, 2007

    Arizona is the worst in July, head for the pool every chance you get. Hang in there, come October you will be loving the weather!
     
  19. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    2,468
    Likes Received:
    12

    Jul 19, 2007

    I am a former military brat and although it's really great to be able to talk about the many countries I grew up in, it was not such a thrill as a kid because I always had to say goodbye to people. We were lucky that we were always allowed to stay in Europe and only had to spend 2 years in Asia. My mom was European and her father was ill so we were able to stay stationed near him.

    As a child, we never lived in a house because we moved to often. It was military housing...apartment...the whole time. So, now, I'm comfortable in an apartment.
    As far as getting used to change, I did. I tend to be a bit of a control freak because I like to be in charge of my life...meaning I know where I'll be tomorrow. It's my choice.

    I'm not sure where I was going with this...I guess..I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this military life. Dependents do have it hard but we do what we have to to make the best of it. It's the life that our dads, husbands, moms, chose and we have to be "good soldiers" and hold down the fort while they are gone.
    sigh!!!!
     
  20. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    3,745
    Likes Received:
    311

    Jul 20, 2007

    I am sorry you're having a tough time.

    My husband was military so I understand a little of what you are going through.

    Ten is a great age for kids; I hope your daughter will feel better when she meets some new friends.

    Good luck at your new school!
     
  21. I want to TEACH

    I want to TEACH Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 20, 2007

    Keep your head up. Know that things will brighten up soon!
     
  22. Pixiewannabe

    Pixiewannabe Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2006
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 20, 2007

    As you already know things will get better. My husband and I just moved to be closer to family and we took such a loss selling our place that we are living with his parents for a few months. I too miss the Puget Sound Area, I am from a small island out there it is such a beatiful place. Wishing you and your family the best.
    justine
     
  23. GardenDove

    GardenDove Habitué

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2007
    Messages:
    816
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jul 20, 2007

    How are you doing today, Rhino? Maybe take your daughter to a pool or an indoor ice rink. When I lived in Joshua Tree we used to go down to the mall in the Low Desert and it had an iceskating rink. Also, I'll bet there's a water park nearby. We would go to the one in Palm Springs mid summer and have a blast!
     
  24. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,291
    Likes Received:
    282

    Jul 20, 2007

    I have only been to Blythe, CA. It was hot as h*ll there too! I don't think I could go any further towards AZ!

    But there you are, so make the most of it. San Diego is definitely cooler, especially at night. That totally threw me off, when I lived there. I even caught a bad cold. Imagine that, living in Chicago half my life!

    Here's hoping you are having a better day. BTW...with technology and all, do you let daughter email her friends? Know that is touchy subject, but given your circumstances...I am sure you could carefully monitor her.

    Snail mail is fun. Thye could care packages to each other. Send some local goodies, (Jays potato chips are a staple here...but nowhere outside of IL, MI, WI and IN)

    Instant messenger is the next best thing to being there! So is texting on cell phone...but that is another thread!

    IMO, there are exceptions to everything. Maybe you could let her talk a few nights to friends, just until she makes new ones.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. gr3teacher
Total: 284 (members: 1, guests: 256, robots: 27)
test