ignoring people.. how to discipline

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by puff5655, Jun 19, 2006.

  1. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    I am babysitting a child who is very polite... except when it comes to answering people's questions. When she doesn't feel like answering you, she simply ignores you, even if you ask her over an over again. She will only reply after you say her name in a lower tone and she knows you're angry, and will reply usually with a loud WHAT!?!

    I know she doesnt have a hearing problem, because for example, today she was painting and I asked her "what are you painting?" I asked her twice, she looked up at me both times and kept painting. After I said her name and "I asked you a question" she looked up and said, "A DUCK" ..so I know she is listening.

    It's very rude and I know she really has to get over it. How should I discipline her for this though?? I have talks with her about it all the time but she just doesnt care.

    I was thinking that maybe I could just remind her about it in the morning, give her a warning the first time she does it, and the second time put her in time out. It seems harsh though and I'm not sure she could remember those instructions all day. But maybe if she went to time out she would learn.
     
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  3. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Puff, I have a little girl who does this thing all the time. She ignores people when they are trying to talk to you. I don't know if she just spaces out or what because normally this little girl is a chatter box. When I say "answer me or sit in a time out" it usually does the trick. She does it more with the other kids than me though. They get frustrated. I've found though that the only thing that works for her is giving her a choice to be respectful and answer people, or get punished. It's just rude, and I don't tolerate children being rude.
     
  4. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    It's possible that the kid doesn't realize what the question is for: she may think it's so obvious what she's doing that anyone should be able to tell without asking and that people who ask anyway are trying to get her in trouble somehow.

    Try telling her that you're going to let her in on a grownup secret: that sometimes a question like "What are you painting?" is code for "I'm interested in what you're doing," and that answering, "A duck" is code for "Thanks for being interested."
     
  5. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    I've had to work on this with my son- he's 3 1/2. It takes constant reminders from me- I explain that he needs to answer me when I ask him something. I had to get firm with him so he knew I was serious and needed him to answer.
     
  6. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    Jeannie Brewer does this! It drives me up a wall and makes people irritated at her.
    In her defense, if she does it to a stranger it's because they're up in her face too much. Nobody likes overbearing people, and kids are no different. She recoils like a turtle into its shell.

    Doing it to me gets her some corner time.
     
  7. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Tanner will too with strangers, and I usually tell him it's ok because he doesn't know the person. I don't allow it with adults who he knows, and other children. I find it very disrespectful. Corner time gets used in our house as well at times.
     
  8. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    "It's possible that the kid doesn't realize what the question is for: she may think it's so obvious what she's doing that anyone should be able to tell without asking and that people who ask anyway are trying to get her in trouble somehow."

    I dont think its that. Sometimes it is an important question, like asking her if she needs help getting a knot out of her shoes, or what she would like to drink.
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Even if it was obvious, children need to learn to be respectful to others when they are being talked to.
     
  10. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    becky, I would PARTICULARLY make a point of explaining the code to Jeannie; she sounds like other kids I've known. You might also add that "What are you doing?" is sometimes code for "Acknowledge that I exist" - and I bet she uses it that way.

    Does Jeannie sometimes sort of get lost in what she's doing? If so, I can pretty well guarantee that you will have trouble prying her out of a book, when she gets to where she reads fluently. She will be so into the book's world that she really may not hear you the first time, or she may have to take a couple of seconds to transition from the book's world to this one. (I used to catch heck from my mother about this, and it's still an issue for me.)
     
  11. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    You might try playing her game when she asks you a question. If it is something she really wants to know the answer to, ignore her. Then let her know once she gets fed up, that that is how you feel and if she continues to ignore you then she will go to time out if she doesn't answer you by the 2nd request. If she is painting a duck, then she can finish it once she is out of timeout and answers your question. Then it should get to the point that you shouldn't have to give her the warning. If she doesn't answer you after the first time, it is an automatic time-out. She'll get tired of time-outs sooner or later. Once she goes to time-out, she can't come out until she answers the question appropriately... not with "WHAT?!?!" That just extends the time-out.

    Just my 2 cents! :)

    Lori
     
  12. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    ill continue with the time-outs then.
     
  13. toddteach1

    toddteach1 Rookie

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    I tend to agree with JenPooh as far a giving them a chose. I tell them that they can either do what I ask them to do now and they can continue to play or they can sit at a table, watch their friends, and be done playing for awhile. It usually does the trick. I try not to use "time out" to much as in siting them in the corner and ignoring them.
     
  14. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    update on this.. after about a week and a half this problem completely dissapeared, and didnt come back all summer!

    All it took was me saying "answer me or time out" and eventually just "answer please" to get her to stop doing this.
     
  15. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    That's great Puff!
     
  16. toddteach1

    toddteach1 Rookie

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    Good to hear, Puff!!!!!!!!!
     
  17. gracieh

    gracieh Rookie

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    Maybe the child is terribly shy... I have a shy child who still has a hard time answering questions .... It may be that
     
  18. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    We've been taking care of her since she was a baby.. old family friend. Shy is something she definitely is not! :)
     
  19. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    It was probably a testing faze. Is she still doing better Puff?
     
  20. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Right through her last day here in late August she was good for me. We also have a new 5yo neighbor (with a trampoline!) so we had her over there a LOT and getting along just fine with her.

    However, when she went back to school, this is another topic but she has after the first 2 days she's been having lots of discipline problems just like in prek.. going to the principals office every day. Personally though I just think that she has a short attention span and that the private school she goes to is HIGHLY academic (I don't know about the K program, but they didnt get playtime in prek except on fridays!! .. and it was an 8-2:00 program!)

    Sarah


     
  21. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    WHAT?!?! That is insane!
     

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