If you're married or in a relationship....

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, Jul 7, 2011.

  1. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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    Jul 7, 2011

    What are the things you mainly do that are chores or things like driving, etc and what are the things the other person normally does when you're together?

    I'll just name a few here....

    Me:
    -I cook almost every night and if I'm not cooking, then it's take out or eating at a restaurant.
    -I do almost all the chores since I'm home a lot more than he is, even on the weekends
    -I walk our dog a few times a day since I'm home the most
    -I'm the main grocery shopper even if we're shopping "together" he will get a few things down certain aisles which is great and then follow me down the aisles sometimes but I'm choosing all the main entrees to cook.

    -I do the vacation planning like phone calls, emails, etc which is time consuming but it's all worth it once we've arrived!
    -I pump my own gas unless we're together then he usually does it while I clean the windows. It really doesn't matter but that's how it is.


    My husband:

    -He drives when we're together. I'm just used to him driving. Since I like to talk anywhere I find it's easier if he's driving because if I'm driving, I want to talk but it's more distracting to me.

    -He works hard at his job to provide for us

    -He'll check my car for car related issues like checking the tire pressure

    and more....but that's a start!:thumb:
     
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  3. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Things are a little different for us because we are running two households right now. So, I do everything for my son and I in our house and my hubby does everything for our daughter and he in the other house. When they get back down here we tend to split chores pretty evenly.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Laundry
    Most cleaning unless it's cleaning lady week
    Some cooking
    Feed Cleo...cat

    Him:
    Garbage
    Lawn
    Some cooking, all BBQ
    Some vacuuming
    Feed Boo...cat

    Make bed together every day
    Yard stuff together
    Food shopping...either one of us...he'll pick up on way home
     
  5. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Most cooking
    Most dishes
    Most heavy-duty cleaning (like countertops, toilets, floors)

    Him:
    Most laundry
    Food and water for the dogs and cat
    Random errands like getting new water cooler jugs, miscellaneous trips to the grocery store, picking up fast food, going to the post office
    Driving
    Grilling

    Together:
    Food shopping (regular/big trips)
    Yard
     
  6. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Since he's home more then I am he does almost everythng around the house.

    I do the grocery shopping, but he goes to Sam's Club.

    Together we clean the fish tank.

    This works for us as I work full time, plus going to school 1/2-3/4 time to get my masters.

    I do more during the summer. He's been having major health issues lately (back problems, possible surgery) so I'm trying to do more, especially since I'm on break.
     
  7. sjnkate

    sjnkate Rookie

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Cook most nights.
    Clean the kitchen most nights.
    Make the bed.
    Vacuum the house, straighten up, and clean the bathrooms once a week.
    Scoop the liter box.
    Feed the dog.

    Husband:
    Laundry
    Cooks on his day off.
    Feeds the cats.
    Loads/Unloads dishwasher if I don't have time.
    Takes out the trash.
    Does the grocery shopping most of the time (he works at a grocery store and is able to find items much faster than I am).
     
  8. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Dishes
    Morning coffee (delivered in bed)
    Breakfast on weekends (also delivered in bed)
    Garbage
    Feed cats in the morning
    Anything car related
    Anything done in the garage

    Her:
    Cooking
    Bills
    Travel arrangements
    Event planning
    Shopping (groceries and anything else)

    Both:
    Cleaning
    Yardwork
    Litter box
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 7, 2011

    It goes back and forth a lot. But if I were to generalize;

    ME:
    laundry
    day to day cleaning
    kids school stuff
    kids shopping-- I know the sizes and needs
    cooking
    dishes

    HIM:
    car stuff
    bills
    yard work
    pool work
    garbage
    dog stuff
    big cleaning projects (basement, garage...)
     
  10. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Clean house
    dishes
    water plants
    random errands
    dealing with property management
    pay bills

    Him:
    car stuff if he can
    he is supporting me at the moment, so I'm letting him get away with no other chores


    Both:
    grocery shopping
    taking out the garbage
    laundry (he does his, I do mine and towels/bedding)
     
  11. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Jul 7, 2011

    ME:
    Morning coffee (usually in bed)
    Feeding the pets
    Cleaning up after the cat
    Dealing with the dishes and cookware
    Getting the trash and recycling to the curb

    HIM:
    Cooking dinner and occasionally lunch
    Laundry
    Cleaning up after the guinea pigs
    Climate control (trust me, this takes a lot of coordination if we don't want to run the AC at 65F)
    Maintaining the fileserver for our computers

    SHARED:
    Cleaning the house
    Grocery shopping
    Paying the bills (we've split who pays what)
     
  12. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Jul 7, 2011

    I take care of the finances. I was already established in the house before we married, so I just kept doing that. He's not good with things like that anyway. The few bills I don't pay online are ones that he will take and drop off in town for me.

    We shop together. He puts away the groceries. We cook together, and I do dishes. He did the housekeeping and yard work when we first married because he was home more because he worked less than part time. I've been doing it all for the past two years because he was helping his mom with the farm after his dad died. He's been back home full time for a couple of weeks, so we need to get back into shared duties. I think I'll keep mowing grass. I like that. I'll let him have ironing. He's better at it than I am. I take care of the fish. He takes care of the dog. He does his laundry. I do mine.

    Recently I've been doing most of the driving. His old vehicle was on its last leg, so we drove it very little. It's gone now, so we are a one-vehicle family. I've had my truck since April of 2009, and he had never driven it until the other day when I asked him to move it for me. We're going car shopping in a couple of weeks, so I'll turn the driving over to him for awhile.
     
  13. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Jul 7, 2011

    ME:
    Cooking
    Grocery shopping-I'm very possessive and a little OCD about it
    Washing/drying/folding laundry
    Purchasing toiletries/necessities
    Oil changes

    HIM:
    Anything with the cars other than oil changes (he forgets)
    Put away laundry
    Lawn care
    Trash out
    Garage cleaning

    US:
    Major cleaning projects (although I've been doing most this summer, just because I'm home)
    Put kids to bed - he the girls, me the baby.
    Dishes. We alternate, and occasionally bribe each other.
     
  14. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    bills
    grocery shopping
    cooking

    Him:
    making waffles on the weekends ;)
    taking out the trash
    getting our new house liveable
    organizing the freezer so things don't fall out and hit my head
    decorating - where furniture goes, hanging artwork, paint colors


    Whoever has time:
    dishes
    laundry
    pickup up clutter
    cleaning

    He works two jobs and is spending 3-5 hours a night on our house, so right now he does less of the cleaning. When he has time, he does more. It balances out.
     
  15. holliday

    holliday Comrade

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    Jul 7, 2011

    We are flexible, but for the most part, it goes like this:

    ME
    laundry
    clutter control (this tends to be a non-stop, major job in our house)
    bathe little girl/put her to bed
    pick up/drop off little girl from daycare
    plan and schedule play dates
    dishes
    clean bathroom


    HIM95% of the cooking
    bathe son and put to bed
    pick up/drop off son at preschool
    driving

    SHAREDshopping
    vacuuming
    yard work (although I am doing most of our current landscaping project)
    pay bills
    take kids to appts.
    feed dog
    hug, kiss, and cuddle each other and our kiddos:hugs:

    It's fairly balanced, but there are days when it gets out of whack. We both work full time, so we don't have a lot of time to get things done (we have 2 toddlers...). I'm loving the summer because even though I'm working part time, that still leaves me with several more hours a day to actually get a few projects done. :)
     
  16. LUCHopefulTeach

    LUCHopefulTeach Habitué

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Dusting
    Vacuuming
    Re-Organizing/Clutter Clean Up
    Make the bed

    Him:
    Dishes
    Garbage
    Sweeping/Mopping
    Driving (when together)
    Feed dog and cat'
    Change/clean cat litter box
    Oil Changes
    Weekend breakfast/coffee

    Both:
    Cook (Me 75%, Him 25%)
    Laundry
    Walk dog
    Grocery Shopping
    Put away laundry
    Bills
     
  17. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Jul 7, 2011

    Me:
    Cook every night
    Make our lunches
    Wash the dishes
    My laundry
    Our daughter's laundry


    Him:
    Take out the trash
    His laundry
    Care for the dog
    Truck stuff


    Shared:
    All cleaning
    Grocery shopping
    Pay bills (although he always physically handles the transactions, since here we mostly have to go to the company, or pay the bill at Walmart...)
     
  18. iloveschool

    iloveschool Companion

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    Jul 7, 2011

    me:
    Most cooking
    all laundry except his
    cleaning
    groceries
    water lawn
    keep flowerbeds
    dogs

    Him:
    trash
    his own laundry
    some cooking
    all car stuff
    bills
    swimming pool
    mow lawn

    We are both teachers, but he paints cars on the side to bring in extra money.

    We have two daughters in college who are going to be teachers also. They keep their own stuff clean and help out when needed. Our eight year old son keeps his room clean and helps with teh dogs. My grandson is 16 months old. He even helps out by putting things in the trash can and putting his toys in the basket. Sometimes he gets this backwards!!!lol
     
  19. FarFromHome

    FarFromHome Connoisseur

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    Jul 8, 2011

    We share most things. My husband cleans a lot, because he gets easily bothered if he thinks the house doesn't look perfect. I cook more than him, but he sometimes cooks too. He did yard work when we had a yard in Idaho, he takes out the trash, vacuums, and does laundry more often than me. I do the dishes the majority of the time and I take out the cat litter and feed the pets. But I don't think there's anything that one of us really does exclusively- at different times we've both done each of the housework/chores.
     
  20. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Jul 8, 2011

    We both just do whatever needs to be done. We alternate days driving to work and feeding the dogs. I take care of the dishes because I'm usually the one who dirties them. We each have offices, and we each keep those clean. Other than that, we tidy what we notice needs to be tidied. I mostly shop for food, but he sometimes comes with me. There are also some things that only he eats, and he buys them in bulk online.
     
  21. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Jul 8, 2011

    I would say I am the "manager" of the house so I am the one that says, this, this and this need to be done - you do this and I will do this. There are some things one of us does more than the other, and I have no idea why, but here is how that breaks down.

    Him:
    Gathering downstairs trash, recycling, putting on curb, breaking down cardboard and taking to recycle center
    Any car repairs and maintenance we can do
    Vacuuming and cleaning the floors
    Watering plants
    He probably drives more than me, mostly because I am new to the area and it is usually just easier that way.
    Anything that involves tools, hanging, or putting stuff together, although I am perfectly capable.

    Me:
    Gathering upstairs trash, including cat litter.
    Grocery shopping, just because I go to the farmer's market before he gets home. Otherwise we used to do it together.
    Dusting
    Folding laundry
    Paying the few bills not on autopay.
    Anything that requires organization

    Shared (although I am usually the one to initiate the need for cleaning):
    Dishes and kitchen clean up
    Laundry (besides folding)
    Cleaning bathrooms
    Cooking


    Our neighbor cuts our grass for us so we don't have any yard work.

    In the summer, I try to do more o the regular chores, but I also tackle bigger projects around the house, like reorganizing closets and cabinets and cleaning out the garage. He will also pull more weight if I ask him to certain times of the year when it gets hectic.
     
  22. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Jul 8, 2011

    When I'm working chores are shared differently. I do more stuff when I'm off but this is pretty much when I'm in school working.

    Me:

    Deep cleaning like mopping, dusting, removing cat hair, etc.
    Organizing closets, and papers
    Pay bills
    Balance checkbook
    Fix things around the house
    Clothes shopping
    painting
    light gardening
    wash bedding
    shop for things needed around the house, such as bedding, towels, shower curtains, etc.

    Husband:
    car maintenance (oil change, new tires, etc.)
    mow the lawn
    clean the litter,
    feed cats
    weekend breaksfasts
    trip planning
    takes out gargabe
    lifts heavy things for me :p
    drives when we go out together
    organizes the fridge
    organizes basement when it's out of control
    handles tedious tasks such as applying for tax appeals

    Both:
    wash dishes (well, put the dishes in the dishwasher and then put them away)
    grocery shopping (not at the same time. We usually don't go grocery shopping together)
    cook (mostly take out. We need to work on that area).
    vacuum
    laundry
     
  23. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Jul 8, 2011

    When I was not working, I did everything around the house. Now that I'm working again, we're back to normal.

    Me:
    Clean the bunny and his cage
    Take care of all friend gifts/social activities
    Plan all parties
    Grocery shopping (it takes him HOURS for even a simple list)
    Bake breakfast scones
    Shopping for/decrating the home
    Keeping us stocked up on toiletries and other household supplies
    Keep track of the dry cleaning
    Freecycle our clutter

    Him:
    Bills
    Sweeping the patio
    Cleaning the shower (I HATE doing that)
    Makes our iTunes playlists for weekends at home/parties
    Cooks pancake breakfasts
    Photographs our outings
    Keeps me updated on technology/fixes my technology
    Works the expresso machine
    Keeps my bike working
    Runs our investment portfolio

    We share pretty much everything else. We only have one car, so I guess he watches the oil. But we take it in if it needs help. We share the cooking. He'll even run Sprout boxes to the post office if I need help getting them there on time.

    Looking this over, we have a really simple life. :p
     
  24. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    Jul 8, 2011

    Me:
    Heavy cleaning (mopping, bathrooms)
    Cooking and dishes


    Her:
    Anything tech related
    BBQing
    ALL laundry

    Shared:
    Driving places
    Costco trips
    Most major shopping trips
    Taking care of the dog (but I do more)
     
  25. Mrs. Q

    Mrs. Q Cohort

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    Jul 8, 2011

    Me:
    I do most, if not all of the housekeeping chores.
    I pay the bills and keep up with appointments, obligations. I did it in the beginning of our marriage b/c he was gone so often and it just stuck.
    Lately, I take the trash out, to the cans outside and then the curb.


    Him:
    He does the outside things - water the lawn, mow the lawn.
    He takes care of our 2 bearded dragons.
    He's in charge of the cars - oil changes, maintenance, etc. I do get my own gas, though. ;)
    He usually drives when we're together. Just habit.

    Shared:
    We usually grocery shop together.
    We split taking care of our son -- DH bathes him, I get him dressed, etc.
    We both take care of the dog.
    Cooking - If I don't cook, he grills and vice-versa.
     
  26. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 8, 2011

    Me
    Finances and related issues (health insurance claims, etc.)
    Clean bathrooms (he's never done this)

    Him
    Vehicle-related issues
    Mowing (though I maintain the landscaping, what little we have)
    Driving (I never drive with him as a passenger)

    Hmmm...I guess those are the only "permanent" chores. Everything else either fluctuates or is shared. In general, though, I certainly do more housework.
     
  27. BettyRubble

    BettyRubble Rookie

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    Jul 8, 2011

    We share most of the duties. I will dust but he will vacuum, or at least move furniture when I vacuum. When we clean, he takes the kitchen and I do the bathroom or vice versa. He does most outside stuff like shoveling, though, and I usually do the laundry. He takes out the trash. Some nights I cook, some nights he cooks (though I do the dishes 90% of the time). I do most diaper changes but he feeds the baby his food at least once a day (except for the nursing, that is obviously my role. ;) I usually tidy up day to day but I've noticed that when he is on a long phone conversation with his parents or siblings that he picks up stuff while talking so I encourage him to call them often. :)
     
  28. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Jul 8, 2011

    I should add he is in charge of all technology, since that's what he does. He picks out our phones, laptops, computers (actually he just builds those). He is in charge of cable plans, internet, phone plans, etc. I told him I don't care, as long as it works. I trust his judgment because he will research it and knows much more about it than I do.
     
  29. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    Jul 9, 2011

    Me:
    Cooking
    Laundry
    Cleaning (we do this together)
    Bills
    Grocery shopping (done together during school year, me alone during the summer)

    Him:
    Yard work
    car stuff
    cleaning (see above)
    Cooking: BBQ and weekend breakfast
    Snow removal!
    Garbage

    We both cut and split the wood for our woodburning stove.
    Our son helps us out in all the chores above.
     

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