If your new at a school, do some people just automatically treat you inferior?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by perplexed, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. perplexed

    perplexed Comrade

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    Aug 22, 2012

    If youre new at a school, do some people just automatically treat you inferior?

    Most people at my new school are very nice. The custodians are AWESOME! There are two secretaries. One of the has been soooo nice and helpful and the other one is okay. I haven't been around the principal too much yet. He really isn't around. The assistant principal hasn't been very nice to me, and I can't seem to figure her out. I don't know if I did something wrong or showed some sign of weakness to think she can treat me poorly. When I was in the building a few weeks ago, I'd smile at her through her office window, but she never really smiled back. Her desk is right in the main office, right when you walk in. I had a question of where to turn something in so I waited by her desk until she looked up. She knew I was there, but completely ignored me. Finally she just looked. I asked her where I should put a form. She said snottily I HAVE A MAILBOX". I said "oh, is it by the rest of them?" She just said yes, so I had to search through the mailboxes to find hers. I wasn't sure if she had a basket on her desk--that's why I asked. I feel like since I'm new, I don't know the procedures for certain things and I try to problem solve on my own, but then I don't want to assume something and do it wrong. She never smiles at me or seems understanding that I'm new. When she answers me, she acts like its common sense for me to know something when nobody's ever told me anything--that's why I'm asking, I ask normally--not bash fully or agresively.

    It seems like she's so cool with a few other teachers who came from the school she was previously at. I went to meetings this AM at the district office and the presenter said make sure if you don't know something to ask your building principals. So that's what I did.

    She could be stressed because it's her first few weeks as AP--before she was a teacher there. I think I should stay away from her, but I don't want her to think I'm being snotty. She seems like she's my age, like 30. I just end up regretting ANY time I talk to her.


    Do you end up getting treated differently when you're new?
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Aug 22, 2012

    She's new too...let it go...things will get better...for both of you.
     
  4. BumbleB

    BumbleB Habitué

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    Aug 22, 2012

    I was lucky to have a great welcoming when I was new to my district. Everyone was so friendly, helpful and kind. I'm sorry that you're not being treated nicely. On top of the stress of starting a new job, this is the last thing you need :(

    I would let her get situated for a couple of weeks and try to direct your questions towards people who are more open towards receiving them. You are probably correct about why she is so unfriendly. People handle stress differently, and I know people who turn into grumps when they are overwhelmed. Hopefully she'll be more receptive soon!
     
  5. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    Aug 22, 2012

    Since you don't know her, you never know what she's really like. Maybe she's just like that. It happens. Keep being nice. She'll either come around or she won't. Either way, you're still being nice.
     
  6. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Aug 22, 2012

    Do you have a mentor? I would ask them or someone in my department for as many questions as I can.
     
  7. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Aug 22, 2012

    I'm new this year too. I feel the same way you do with a few of the people there, but 99% of them are extremely nice, and have been very welcoming. I think in my case it's more that I'm the youngest teacher there, and I think my position has been rotating new teachers, so they're not expecting me to keep it long. I know for a near fact that I will be laid off at the end of the year, as there are many teachers who have been teaching at this school for a while that are still laid off every year.

    It's definitely the age factor for me. Being young and gay I don't really have children of my own nor am thinking to have any in the near future, but all anyone seems to talk about at the school is their children. I'm getting tired of hearing all the details about their children when I want to hear more about them, but I think I'm just in a totally different generation than them. It's going to be hard to make good friends among them.
     
  8. ecteach

    ecteach Groupie

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    Aug 22, 2012


    Guilty as charged!:huh:
    Before I had kids, I hated when people did this. But once you become a parent, your children become your whole world.
     
  9. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

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    Aug 22, 2012

    I have an AP like that at my school. The first day when I walked in she was rude to me, kind of like "what are you doing here?" When I said my name and explained I was a new teacher there she was like "oh well now we have two _____'s" because there is another teacher who has the same first name as me. (It's a pretty common name so I didn't get what she was trying to imply.)

    She's just not overly friendly and welcoming, you definitely have to prove yourself before you get on her good side. I would try to avoid that AP as much as possible, and let her get a sense of who you are. As the year goes on and she sees that you're a good teacher and an asset to the school she'll hopefully warm up to you.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Aug 22, 2012

    With my situation, I'm the only type of person of my position (speech-language pathologist aka SLP) on the campus & I'm at 2 schools 2x/wk, so I'm not really "in" with the staff like the rest of them. Plus, I don't have to do any kind of yard or bus duty & I don't have to attend the staff meetings, open houses, or back-to-school nights (I have my own type of monthly mtg I attend). Sure, I could try to be part of their "big, happy family" if I really wanted to I suppose, but I'm busy going here & there. There's times when I have to drive to both schools in one day. Then, I know a lot of SLPs like to stay tucked away in their rooms at lunch because if they go to the lounge with the rest of the teachers, the teachers tend to make a beeline & talk about little Johnny in their class who isn't talking, etc. Well, the SLPs don't really want to talk about that kind of thing on their lunch break!

    I'm sorry your AP is that way with you, but she sounds like a b!tch. Unfortunately, there's one or two in every bunch, it seems. The AP at my school last yr was a b!tch too. I was cordial when I passed her by or she had to sit in on an IEP meeting, but that's it. I sure didn't go out of my way. Unless, you want to try the "kill 'em with kindness" approach where you're just so sweet, it will be hard for her to be mean to you. But if she's still the same way, I'd say forget her & just say, "Hello" when you pass her. I LOVE it when the admin just stays out of my hair & lets me do my job & I only see them in passing for the most part.
     
  11. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    Aug 22, 2012

    I definitely had a problem with the "no kids" thing at my previous school too. It seemed like everyone was pregnant or had a baby or young toddler, and yes, it is ALL they talk about. I worked with some genuinely great people, but socially, I am glad to be out of there. My new school has a lot more teachers my age who have other interests too.

    In regards to the OP, I'm at a new school this year and I find that some people legitimately just don't think about the fact that you don't know "the basics" that are just second nature to everyone else. Agreed with other posters, MOST people are extremely nice, but I have had a few instances where I've had to resist making snarky comments about how I can't possibly know to do something unless you tell me about it first! While there are several new teachers in my building, all of them except for one other teacher student taught in this exact building. So although they're "new" as well, they know how things work and they know all of the "basics." The other new teacher who didn't ST there is actually one of my grade level teammates and we always feel like we're constantly having to ask around to find out basic information. Our P and AP are new too, so again, I honestly don't think they thought about it because they have so much on their own plates.
     
  12. treefrogs

    treefrogs Rookie

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    Aug 22, 2012

    I've previously (not current school) worked with an AP with similar vibes. They weren't someone I could go to for questions, but they never stepped on my toes. They were consistent with students, stood up to parents when needed, and pretty fair in general.

    Sometimes the sweetest people at school are not on you side; I learned that my first year. Also, if you don't have an official mentor you can always unofficially adopt one! :D
     
  13. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Aug 22, 2012

    I know exaclty what you mean. A coworker and I were chatting about this today. It's difficult to stay on mututal topics in conversations when everything seems to relate back to children. I guess it's just one of those things you don't understand unless it's you.
     
  14. tootgravytrain

    tootgravytrain Comrade

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    Aug 23, 2012

    Some people just "need" to treat others as their lesser. It's in their twisted nature. Don't take it personal.
     

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