I know it's stupid, but I'm really upset

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Bella2010, Dec 20, 2012.

  1. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    Dec 20, 2012

    My mom said that for Christmas she wanted pictures of my sister's family and mine. I hate having my picture taken. Absolutely despise it. I would seriously rather go to the dentist than get my picture taken. It was bad enough when I was skinny, but now that I'm big, it's just pure torture. But, it was for my mom, so I sucked it up. We got the proofs back, and I hated them all. My sister said she was going to take care of the framing and all that stuff and that I could look at the ones she decided on before she ordered them.

    Well, that didn't happen. The picture I hated the most is the 8x10. I cried when I saw she'd chosen that one as the 8x10. I don't have anyone to blame but myself for my weight issue and shouldn't even be whining about it, I know. I'm just really self conscious about my body right now. Knowing that everyone who walks into my parents' house is going to see me looking like an even bigger blimp than I am upsets me.

    I'm done ranting, thank you.

    Beth
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Dec 20, 2012

    :hugs:
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I feel you. Completely. Hugs.
     
  5. perplexed

    perplexed Comrade

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    I feel the same way! I despise having my picture taken:( I wish I wasn't so self-conscious......
     
  6. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Is there a part of you which feels your sister did that to be mean?
     
  7. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    Thanks for the kind replies, I really appreciate them. :blush:

    I thought about that. I don't think she'd do it to be "mean". However, she's a pretty self-absorbed person, so it wouldn't surprise me if she based the decision on the way she and her family looked in the picture. :mad:

    Beth
     
  8. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mom will love it. :hugs: to you.
     
  9. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Awe sweety... you know you're mom will love it because you're in it and it has her family!!!
     
  10. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    I was the same way, also for weight issues. I feel better about it now but my mom now feels bad bout her weight.

    I've realized that my parents are much older. When they are gone, I will possess no family photos at all. This grieves me tremendously since my parents are all I have. My mom won't budge on the photo issue now, and she can easily throw it back to me since it's my fault we have no photos after about middle school.
     
  11. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Dec 21, 2012

    One thing we learned at WW was, "Everyone knows you are overweight."
     
  12. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    Dec 21, 2012

    So...I'm not supposed to care I look fat in the picture because everyone already knows I am fat. :confused:

    Beth
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I think she means that no one is going to see the picture and think, "Sheesh, she's packed on thr LBs." If in the year or two I haven't seen a person she has gained fifty pounds, I will recognize that when I see her. Something inside my brain will register, "Oh, she's gained weight." Of course, I don't care a bit, but I recognize it. On the other hand, if I see her again the next week or next month, her weight doesn't register. It's old information.

    Would you like to buddy up and lose weight together? :hugs:
     
  14. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Sorry Bella, I did not explain. Everybody know you are fat, so don't try to hide it. Most attempts to hide it turn into a disaster. Don't grieve about it.

    I have been very fat for most of my life. Everyone I know is aware that I attempt to eat healthy. They do not judge me, and I bet your family will focus upon the message of the photo.

    JustMe, if you find the secret to losing weight, please let me know.
     
  15. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oh, I can lose weight like a champ! It's fairly easy for me and fast. But then I always find those missing pounds! ;)
     
  16. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    If you are dedicated and meet other criteria, gastric bypass is a godsend. I worked with a team of doctors plus nutritionist for a year, had surgery, worked with same team a followup year, and now sort of mentally stick to WW guidelines if I feel myself in danger of veering off track. Not easy, but effective.

    I feel kind of bad now that I've gained 25 of my 159 back since two back surgeries, so I'm trying WW again. I'm still within the "normal" guidelines, but don't feel so great anymore.
     
  17. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I asked for pictures of my whole family for my mom's Christmas this year. I organized it around my sister's dates she could visit. I paid for it. I did all the work...and all I heard was a bunch of whining. My husband was mad because my son came home from college with a beard. It was clean cut and neat, so I told him he could leave it. My husband was mad and didn't smile in a single picture. My sister whined about her weight...I am not skinny, but my mom wanted pictures. I had been in the hospital a few days before and I looked like death, but it is the only picture of both my kids, my husband, and me have taken in the last ten years. I even allowed my sister to put her silly little dog in the picture...I tried so hard to keep peace and all they did was gripe...so my advice, SUCK IT UP!!! It is one picture and your children will be happy to have it and so will your mother.
     
  18. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Sorry this hit a little close to home...but your mother will love it.
     
  19. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I can completely understand! If I were you & as long as I lived far away & didn't have to see it all the time, I wouldn't care so much. Then, in the meantime, lose weight & look fierce, so you can get your own pics done & send her the new ones. :)
     
  20. Harper

    Harper Companion

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    Dec 21, 2012

    Me too. The weight will come off, but keeping them off is harder. I know it is a life commitment, but dang, it is a challenging commitment!

    As to OP, I understand and sympathize! Hugs to you. :hugs:
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :hugs:, Bella!
     
  22. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Dec 22, 2012

    Who paid for the picture? If your sister paid for it, then I wouldn't be surprised that she chose the picture that her family looked best in.

    It's so hard to find a picture that everyone looks great in.

    I can soo see my SIL & I arguing over pictures.
     
  23. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Dec 22, 2012

    Seriously, read this story.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html

    I am completely guilty. I am in a total of about 3 pictures with my oldest daughter when she was a baby. Maybe 6 with my middle daughter.

    And those were my "skinny" days.

    With my son, I swore this wouldn't happen. I have made a concerted effort to be in the picture.

    As the article says, if not for you, do it for your kids-or your mom, as the case may be.
     
  24. Portulaca

    Portulaca Rookie

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    Yes, definitely read the HuffPo essay kcjo linked to, if you have time! That's what I immediately thought of too, but when I tried to post about it a couple days ago I guess it got lost in moderation. Anyway, the comments below it are also very poignant. A bunch of people wrote in to say that their own moms always avoided being in photos and now they have very few, or even, in some cases, none at all.

    But I also wanted to say that I totally understand how you feel, and I think group studio pictures are the devil ;). Much better, in my opinion, to take individual shots that can be approved by the individual, then put them all together in a frame. Maybe you could suggest that next time?

    Also, remember that photography is an art and a science. People say stuff like "the camera doesn't lie," or "the truth hurts" or whatever, but it absolutely CAN lie somewhat if the photographer doesn't know what they are doing---and people that work in generic or chain photo studios often don't have any particular qualifications, in my experience. Remember that a camera is viewing you uni-focally, rather than bi-focally from two different angles like the human eye. It tends to flatten a curving surface (with depth and width) into all width. Also, too much flash can drown out the shadows that make it clear a surface is curving. So, in general, people likely to have a lot of very curved surfaces to their faces and bodies (i.e., a lot of women) really do have a higher potential for looking 'puffy' in pictures. I'm not saying it adds 50 pounds or 100, but it does tend to distort, definitely.
     
  25. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    I'm such a dork. This article made me cry. :blush:

    I offered to pay for my part. She said not to worry about it because 90% of it was her family's pictures and to consider it part of my Christmas present. The pics of my family and her's made up about five of the pics, the rest, about 30, were of her family. There's a lady my sister knows who takes tons of pics, burns them to a disc, and then you just pick out what you want and have them printed at Walgreens.

    Ug, geez. It's over. We had Christmas tonight. Of course my mom loved them, said I looked pretty, blah, blah, blah. :rolleyes:

    On a good note...as I posted a week or so ago, this was the first year for DH and I to have Christmas at our house. It was AWESOME!!!!!!! Everything was ready on time, everything turned out good. DH and BIL fried a turkey and didn't burn our house down. :p My nephew wanted a new telescope really bad. My parents, DH and I went together and bought him a really nice one. DH assembled it and hid it in the spare bedroom. My mom wrapped up mittens and a hat, and I wrapped up an Axe gift set. When everyone was done opening presents, he was looking pretty bummed, DH brought the telescope out. He was quite impressed. :cool:

    Beth
     
  26. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    So glad it all went well last night!
     
  27. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    The important thing is your Mom is happy!
     
  28. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Dec 23, 2012

    So glad that night is the memory that you carry. My sister is very overweight and has many of these same feelings. I know how hard things are for her. I wish you all the best in the New Year! You made the best of a tough situation.
     

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