Hey, everyone. Things have been going pretty well over here. I have three months left at my school, and my resignation letter is submitted. I had my last observation this week by my sweet, kind principal. He's really supportive, and I think he gave me a good score. I'll find out next week. I have a group of 29 kids in one classroom who are driving me insane, but it's nothing I'm not used to. I'm struggling a bit with my guilt, however. I had this "rigorous" assessment that was implemented by our district PD, but it is NOT effective in the least. The kids were supposed to pick out a book to do a Book Talk presentation and 5-page essay. It's a lot. I showed it to my VP since she told me I'm not "rigorous enough", and even SHE said it was good. I assigned this project three months ago, and it's due today. Back in January, I went to Barnes and Noble and the Thriftbooks website to get books for the kids to keep, a book on a topic they were interested in. I feel like all that money was wasted and here's why: only one of my kids finished the project, out of 75 children. I feel like I'm not servicing these kids. So many of them drop out and have no will to learn at all. They have told me that they're waiting to be 16 to drop out, so they don't want to read anything. All they want to do is watch movies. It's not them I feel guilty for: I feel so guilty about the kids that want to learn. I keep changing my lesson plans and canceling things at the last minute. I have found that when we read together as a class, they fall asleep and hate it. It's not engaging. When we do literature circles and accountable talk, they hate it because they "get distracted" and miss my voice when I read to them. I did skip a novel during our Holocaust unit (as per their request) but I did teach them all I could about the Holocaust with modern-day genocide, visuals, and movies. They hated it. I feel like I'm trying so, so hard. But one of my kids said to me the other day, "We're not really learning anything." It really hurt me. I know I shouldn't care because I am leaving the profession. When I leave teaching, I am going to close the door on it for good because I've never been this unhappy or stressed. I remember a time when I really loved this job, during the honeymoon phase. But why do I care so much about what these kids get from me? I know I'm an anxious person by nature, but I was up till about 3:00 in the morning just thinking about how I've had four years of teaching experience and nothing to show for it. I'm ineffective according to my VP, and ultimately, I feel like the biggest failure of an educator, even moreso because I'm leaving. Today, they are finishing up a project, so I gave them a survey on how I can better help them for the fourth marking period. We are going to read "Looking for Alaska" because that novel seems to be interesting for many of them and it's part of our curriculum. Over spring break, I'm going to work really hard on making better lessons and surviving these last three months. I'm sorry for rambling, but I just can't shake the guilt. Is there anything I can do about my kids? Is there anything I can do to lessen the guilty feelings? Thanks so much for your help, everyone.