I have no idea of what to do!

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by minnie, Sep 5, 2013.

  1. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    I have a student (Bob) who really want to be another student's (Frank) friend. He follows him around everywhere and is annoying him a little. However, Frank is getting a little attitude with Bob. I think its because he knows that Bob really wants to be his friend. Soooo, I'm not sure of what to do. I don't want Frank to think its ok to tell Bob that he can't play with him because he is being annoying. However, Bob needs to know what personal space is.

    Today, during recess, Bob was following Frank around and getting on his nerves. So, Frank told Bob that he didn't want to play with him anymore. As a result, Bob punched him (not hard enough to hurt).

    I don't know what to do. I don't think it's ok for a student to tell another student that they cannot play with them. But, everyone has a right to have their space.

    Please help! I feel like no matter what I decide to do, it's going to be the wrong one.
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Is this something you could address with the group? Do a unit on friends, and start off with making friends.

    You could talk about personal space, about how we all need more than one friend, about how you can't "hog" a friend.

    And, of course, about how we don't punch anyone, particularly our friends :)
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    ...why not do a 'friendship' theme?You could try some lessons on being a friend, finding someone to play with, personal space...picture books, role plays...:thumb:

    So funny, Alice! I must have been typing as you were posting!:D:lol:
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Great minds...
     
  6. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    Thank you! I have a very small class and a very small school. I'm afraid that if I put too much emphasis on this, it will get worse!

    But I think I will talk to the class.
     
  7. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    I am going to do some role playing. I do a lot of that in class. I guess I'm not sure what to tell the students if another student is bugging them. I know I wouldn't like it if another person was following me everywhere. This particular student is just enamored with this other student. What if he doesn't stop wanting to play with just him? What should I tell the students to say if another student is truly annoying them.

    I know I sound like I have no idea what I'm doing :unsure:
     
  8. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    BTW, I only have six boys in my class so they do not have a variety of boy buddies to choose from.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Then make them into a team. Give them a cutesy title and emphasize the brotherhood aspect.
     
  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    If you haven't done so already you need to also address Bob's punching behavior.
     
  11. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    Oh yes! I did!

    Aliceacc, good idea!
     
  12. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    You could do a unit on role models.. who we look up to, and why. Focus in on those qualities and behaviors that make someone a worthy role model, worthy of emulating.
     
  13. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

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    Frank was being assertive with Bob. Perhaps the way he told Bob that he was annoyed could be framed in a less hurtful way. You could role play this with Frank. "Bob, I don't like it when you _____. Please stop."

    It is essential that Bob learns how to handle it when someone says something assertive to him. Imagine what will happen when Bob is 18 and still hitting people who reject him in some way. He does not have these social skills right now, and if we don't teach them to him, he will most likely not learn them.

    "Bob, you felt upset when Frank said he didn't want to play with you. You didn't know what to say, so you hit him. It's not okay to hit. Hitting hurts. Instead, say to Frank, "I would really like to play with you. Can we play another day?"

    Most children at this age do not have the skills to communicate assertively. So this situation is an excellent opportunity to teach it.

    An excellent book to guide you on how to handle situations like this is "Conscious Discipline" by Becky Bailey.
     
  14. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    Thank you schoolteacher and everyone else for the great ideas!
     

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