I have a problem!

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by mudpie1598, Dec 12, 2006.

  1. mudpie1598

    mudpie1598 Companion

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    Dec 12, 2006

    Remember that boy I mentioned last time that couldn't stay on the carpet? Well, he seems to be getting worse everyday. We had an SST to discuss him and it concluded that I would get a TA for an hour a day and that I would have his mother come in for about 30-minutes in the day.

    Mom didn't come today and the boy is really out of control. I tried to start a behavioral contract and it didn't work. When he's in the library all day I will go and get him. He'll clasp his hands to the bean bag or bookshelf and I will try to sit him up. Verbal prompts don't work with him, so I'll try to coax him up. I'll hold him to my side and sort of walk him towards his seat while holding him next to me. I'm not sure if this is proper procedure? Should I even be trying to get him to go to a certain place by pulling him in that direction? He left the classroom and went into the hall. I tried to get him to come to me by holding his hands and tugging a bit to get him going and he didn't budge. He instead "falls" to the floor where sometimes he bumps his head. What can I do? Help?

    :(

    I was told to call the office and have the Principal go get him when he goes out into the hall. Won't that make me look as an inefficient teacher? I have 19 other students that I have neglected because of this one student who won't listen to me at all. I took away his recess and lunch recess today, but I really hate doing that to Kindergartners because I know that they need to release that built up energy. I'm also starting to take away priviledges like playing with toys or participating with us when we do fun movement lessons. Am I doing the right thing? What's your opinion?
     
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  3. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    Dec 12, 2006

    i think that the variety of ways you are trying to get him to work with you is a good thing but have you tried to give him rewards to applaud his behavior in stead of just punishing him when he does bad? it may help to re-inforce the good behavior.
     
  4. joanieb

    joanieb New Member

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    Dec 12, 2006

    I have had similar experinces in various grades. I have arranged with another teacher in a different grade to send children to each others classrooms, with work, when there is nothing to be done. With older grades I send them with math worksheets and the younger grades with colouring sheets or whatever. Students generally feel quite uncomfortable in other grades so they are usually quiet.
    You can also sit with him for a while and see if you can get him to talk to you. Sometimes find out a bit about the child helps with the frustration of the situation. I had a boy earlier this year (he has since left me) who was OUT OF CONTROL!!! I didn't know what to do and I was really frustrated with him. We had a couple of meetings with his grandmother and finally she told us that she took him from his mother because she was in and out of homeless shelters and abusive relationships and the boyfriends were abusing the boy. Suddenly I could view his behaviour in a different light and a lot more compassion.
    you could also try bribery :)

     
  5. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Dec 12, 2006

    Can't the school reprimand the mother if she isn't holding up her end of the bargain? You have 19 other students, no you will not look like a bad teacher if you go and get the principal! You are only human...not Super Woman! :) If you were told to do so, then by all means do it since the offer was placed before you. It's not fair to you if you are the only one working on this child's behavior. It sounds to me like you are doing a good job with him so far.
     
  6. Tigers

    Tigers Habitué

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    Dec 12, 2006

    I think you need to have a talk with the mother about your concerns that her son will not be ready for first grade if this pace continues. Explain that you are trying your very hardest, and you really believe that her influence and involvement might improve the situation. hopefully, this will stress the importance of her presence and the present situation.

    Is the child cognitively ready to be in kindergarten? If so I would suggest creating natural consequences for him. Then when a certain behavior flares up, remind him of those consequences. If the behavior does not cease immediately make sure you follow through. Then by march, take away the reminder for the majority of the time. Explaining that he knew the consequences and now... If he doesn't turn some corners in the next six months, I don't see how you can recommend first grade. As Joan suggested there might be some emotional disturbance, so it is necessary for your psychologist to have some discussion time, also.
     
  7. Lesley

    Lesley Habitué

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    Dec 12, 2006

    First, don't tug on him even the slightest bit, it could end up causing trouble for you. If you were told to call the office, DO SO! They can handle it and you can teach those kids in your room who have been waiting for you. I have several boys in my room who act similar to yours. If I have to hold their hands to walk down the hall or across the room, I do so very lightly, if they want to let go , I let them, too many teachers have had parents report them for holding hands to tight or tugging or pulling the child-be careful. If you are holding their hand and they try to break free, let them break free, if you tighten the grip it can cause problems. It is very sad that these parents are not able to help control their child, but they are not going too and expect you to fix the problem. I have 5 boys in my room that behave similar to your one. I battle it alone, principal is not much support, parents never show when they say and I have called their numbers so often I have them memorized. I have started a major reward system for the kids who behave properly all morning/day. I have a paper that I made that has a list of misbehaviors, before each misbehavior is a line, I just check next to the behaviors the child does, send it home and have the parent sign it. I then have a sheet of paper for those kids who are having a great day, they get the paper and a prize, candy, pencil, sticker. I also have a class reward goal. We earn straws for good behavior as a class. Once we earn 60 straws we get a party. Since starting it 2 weeks ago, I have had one day where everyone received a reward. It started with up to 10 kids receiving a discipline paper and we are now at 3 to 4.
     
  8. sofiluv

    sofiluv Rookie

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    Dec 12, 2006

    I hear you!

    I am in a very similar situation, except the boy is in the morning class and I teach the afternoon class. He is out of control, and purposely defiant. I just found out today that the mom wants to switch the boy over ot the afternoon class because time-wise, it's more convenient for her to arrange a babysitter. The choice has been left up to me, but I have a good working class right now. I really don't want to take him, but I'm afraid of not being a "team player" in the eyes of my partner (who is dying ot get rid of him), and in the eyes of my principal, if I don't.:confused:
     
  9. KdgtnCop

    KdgtnCop Rookie

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    Dec 18, 2006

    Personally, I know this sounds really horrible...but if mom is not dealing with him, and it's not feasible to send him to the office all day...I'd leave him on the rug, step over him and continue teaching the rest. He sounds manipulative, and he will occupy your time with his nonsense. Rather let one slip than make 19 others suffer while you coax, bribe, and coddle. The others may see that as a way to get attention, too. I tell my class over and over- "I am not here to teach you how to behave. By kindergarten, you already KNOW that, so show me." I know it's horrible, but really, what more can you do with your own 2 hands....(?) Plus, if you're the one "pulling" on him to cooperate, it looks like YOU'RE having the problem. If he's rolling around on he rug alone and you're ignoring him, then it looks like HE is the problem, not you.
     
  10. clarnet73

    clarnet73 Moderator

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    Dec 19, 2006

    If he's on the floor in the library and not endangering himself or others, I'd say it's OK to leave him there. He just *might* be getting something out of your whole-class lessons while he's back there. He might not be, but there's always a chance. If he's safe in the back of the room and not distracting to everybody else, and you don't have the resources to take care of him, let him stay. Perhaps he's doing it because he KNOWS it gets your attention. (Is he one of those kids who would rather have negative attention than no attention at all? I have a few like that!)... so "ignore" him, and praise when he decides to do the right thing... it's worth a shot!
     
  11. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Dec 28, 2006

    Someone has to rescue this child. Please don't give up on him. Keep searching until you find someone or some program to help him. Even if you have to refer him to an outside agency, this child and family need help.
     
  12. soozabelle

    soozabelle Rookie

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    Dec 29, 2006

    It's always worked for me to let the child move when he/she is ready. Simply tell him. "I will talk to you when you can [do said behavior]" as in, "I'll listen to you as soon as you stop crying." or "You can have snack as soon as you come to the carpet." or "I'm not going to talk to you until you let go of the shelf." and simply walk away. It gives him time to come when he's ready. It's not fun to just sit so 9 times out of 10, he'll do what you want within a few minutes. I once had a child that told me he "just wanted to cry." So I let him and within 2 minutes he was completely cooperative.
    Also, if you have to punish him, sit with him during the punishment and make sure he understands why he's being punished. I don't know how many times I've known children to be sitting in time out and not even know why they were there. It may seem obvious to us, but some children have trouble grasping the rules.
     
  13. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Dec 30, 2006

    I have found in most cases, children do know why they are being punished...so don't let them fool you. I can't tell you how many times I have asked a child what they did wrong and they look at me with those big glazed eyes and say sweetly, "I don't know." That's when I tell them they better go back to a time out and let me know when they figure it out. BOy do they ever figure it out then!
    We spend way too much time explaining and all they hear is blah, blah, blah. Kids nearly always know when they have done wrong and are out to antagonize us and prolong the fuss. Don't let this kid fool you.
     
  14. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Dec 30, 2006

    I very much agree with you. Kindergarters are very smart, tricky little kids. They know how to manipulate you. Just looking at them when they are misbehaving usually helps them to stop their behavior. They KNOW that they are misbehaving.
     

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