I feel so frustrated

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by Marie1992, Sep 22, 2017.

  1. Marie1992

    Marie1992 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2017
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 22, 2017

    Today was stressful. I have a student in my preschool class, I'll call her Jill, who is very troublesome and can be violent with with the other students. She was born addicted to drugs and is being raised by her grandmother. No discipline techniques i have used work. So far 4 mothers have come to me to say that their child has a bruise and was told that Jill did it. I have seen her hit other students, yell in their faces, and spit at them. Today it was recommend by my title 1 coordinator and the special ed director that Jill should be referred for special education services. Her behavior is causing her education to be compromised. I called Jill's grandmother and she was all for it. However, when I mentioned it to my principal, he completely denied the idea and told me "it wouldn't help" and he doesn't want to see it done. when I have discussed Jill to him in the past he tells me "she is just a kid." I agree with that to a point but I also have other students that are getting hurt and are afraid to come to school. When I said special ed has been recommended he drilled me with questions like "how would it help?" "What do you think would be done?" He sounded condescending like it was my fault she is causing trouble and even mentioning special education was ridiculous. I have tried so many things andjust feel like she needs more help by people who specialize in kids like her. He then proceeded to tell me pre k in not mandatory and he will ask the grandmother to not send Jill back. I feel like hewent from 0 to 100 because he didn't even give special ed a try. I feel guilty like it's my fault she has been kicked out even though I tried so hard and communicated with the grandmother letting her know what's happening. I feel bad for Jill because she has such a hard life and I feel like the school just gave up on her.
     
    AlwaysAttend likes this.
  2.  
  3. AlwaysAttend

    AlwaysAttend Fanatic

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2012
    Messages:
    2,855
    Likes Received:
    623

    Sep 23, 2017

    It sounds like he didn't want to deal with a SPED classification and changing schedules around because he knows this one kid will throw everything off. Therefore, he'll try to bully grandma into pulling her. He sounds like a terrible human. $10 says he's planning to bail before next year.
     
    Marie1992 likes this.
  4. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,761
    Likes Received:
    1,684

    Sep 23, 2017

    Our early intervention services for those children 5 or under is done through the county, not the public school. It does sound like P wants to just get rid of the problem for now. Check with your state to see how early intervention is done. Grandma may be able to start the process outside of school. School attendance is not a requirement for early intervention services. I wonder why the girl hasn't received these services already.

    If social services is involved because Grandma is raising the kids, she may be able to utilize their expertise to get the child the help she needs. I'm sure this behavior is beyond the school day.

    Document what has happened. This is not our fault. You are doing what you are legally supposed to do.
     
    bella84 and Marie1992 like this.
  5. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    9,834
    Likes Received:
    2,450

    Sep 23, 2017

    In NJ, at age 3, a student who is identified with special needs through early intervention is under the supervision of the public school district where they reside. Grandma needs to request evaluation in writing directly to the Child Study Team. That will make the request official, and take it out of the hands of the principal. Obviously he doesn't want her classified - she will almost certainly have to go to school out of district. ($$$)

    I agree with a2z, since social services will almost certainly be involved in this situation, their aide should officially be requested. Document everything - copy everything that is submitted.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2017
  6. Marie1992

    Marie1992 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2017
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1

    Sep 25, 2017

    Thank you for your suggestions. I makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one that thinks my principle is denying services to a child that needs it. I'm documenting everything so if anything comes up they will know I've done what I can do
     
  7. Obadiah

    Obadiah Groupie

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,347
    Likes Received:
    833

    Sep 25, 2017

    Prenatal psychoactive chemicals can damage the brain. Environmental interaction can positively alter brain development, but apparently Jill didn't receive this, either. She is responding the only way she knows how. I'd be cautious in trying to find "something that works" in behavior management; this often leads to more confusion if behavior plans keep changing. Her brain isn't adjusting to a current plan, and when the plan changes, her brain needs to start all over again, yet there's possibly not enough learned behavior to adjust to any plan to begin with, at least not right away. Depending on how destructive the psychoactive chemicals were, her brain needs to reshape itself; fortunately, she is at an age where reshaping is most possible. On the other hand, you need to protect the other children, and this in turn will also protect Jill. Her hostile actions will lead to non-acceptance by the other students (and their parents).

    I might recommend that you and your aide restructure her social interactions to where physical contact or spitting is less of a possibility but positive interactions are more of a possibility. This could involve seating arrangements, play time spacing arrangements, and most importantly, you and the aide being physically present. Now the difficult part--most parents are probably already encouraging their children to stay away from Jill or expressing negative attitudes toward Jill, and understandably so. The more positive social interactions that can be experienced, the more likely Jill's brain will reshape to match these experiences. I disagree that children this age cannot empathize with others, and this is the "reward" that Jill needs to experience, that she is positively influencing other children for the better, not hitting, spitting, or yelling. Very, very, very possibly Jill is imitating home life. Perhaps she is yelled at, hit, and even possibly spit upon. Another idea might be stuffed animal interaction. OK, this can spread germs among students, but Teddy bear play can reinforce correct social play. Teddy bears can take it if Jill experiments with hitting, and Teddy bears provide the snuggles that Jill needs, too. She might alternate back and forth between hitting and hugging the stuffed animal in her creative play, as Teddy encourages her to move toward more socially appropriate behavior.
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2017
  8. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,324
    Likes Received:
    1,440

    Sep 25, 2017

    In your particular case, your best partner in getting this student appropriate services would be her grandmother. She'll need to make the request for evaluation independently of you. An administrator can possibly ignore a teacher, but blowing off a legal guardian is another matter.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. bnunderwood,
  2. MissBee06
Total: 392 (members: 3, guests: 370, robots: 19)
test