Teachers dating teachers... who work in the same school. No-no? You only live once? Or other? (Elaborate). Being a guy, I work with a lot of female teachers. Some of them have seen to take a liking to me. I don't know if they're just being (extra) nice, or because I'm the only guy there, or what, but they have been complimenting me a lot lately in terms of my presence (they love having me around) and my fashion sense. Is dating a teacher you work with a completely bad decision? Shoud it be avoided at all costs? Looking for feedback, wisdom, stories, opinions. I would of course to prefer to date OUTSIDE of work. But you see each other so much, you both have a passion for teaching, you get along, it's easy to develop feelings over time. Of course I will remain focused on the students but you're also human. I have to admit, my colleagues do boost me up a lot. Seems everyone likes me and really enjoys having me around. Going to work is great because you get to make a difference in kids' lives and your coworkers are giving you affirmation as well. I've noticed lately some of them have been laying it on EXTRA thick and it's definitely an ego boost. Which is dangerous because you want to stay humbled and not get too distracted. Like I said, I really prefer to find someone outside of work, but life is life, right? Things work out as they're meant to be, I feel. Anyway, any thoughts are welcomed! Thanks for your time.
I understand that feelings develop and it's been done successfully, but I personally wouldn't date at a work place that I hope to remain at long term. If things go sour or just don't work out, you're in a very awkward and unprofessional position. If you're having trouble meeting people outside of work because it eats up your time, online dating might be good.
I have seen it go both ways. Any chance you could meet some teachers from a different building at meetings or trainings?
I would avoid t if you can, but I don't think it's usually forbidden. If things went bad, it would most likely be you that is made out to be the bad guy, even if it was mutual or something she did. All the friendly faces would become glares or turn to ignoring you.
I've done it. We kept things VERY professional at work. Many did not even know we were dating for quite a while, unless they saw us together outside work. We dated for almost a year before the relationship ended. It was slightly awkward for a few weeks, but we were so used to being professional at work that we maintained that just fine. There was a bit of "taking sides" among our coworkers right after we broke up, but once they saw that it was pretty mutual and we were planning to remain friends, everything was fine. I'm sure it wouldn't go that smoothly in every situation. We still get together in groups of our coworkers to go out to eat, have drinks, etc. There is a couple in our building that met at our school and are now married.
I think if ONE of the ladies caught your eye, and over time the 2 of you become closer, that is one thing ... but, if there are 2 or 3 or more ladies that you would consider dating given the opportunity, no way. I wouldn't LOOK for love among your colleagues. I'd be friendly, but professional. But, if something really sparked with a colleague, and things developed slowly, then ... why not?
Being a fellow guy teacher, I know the feeling. It IS an ego boost. I don't have much in the looks department, but apparently, I make people laugh all the time (and I hope that's not BECAUSE of my looks?!) I can tell you this. Two teachers met at my school five or six years ago. They eventually got married (remained at the school), and now have two beautiful daughters. Take that for what it's worth. *shrug*
I didn't date a specific teacher at the school I used to work at strictly because we worked together and I was "lower" than him (I was student teaching and didn't want to rock the boat). I have always regretted it. We really had a great time together. So if there is one special girl you have feelings for then go for it. If none are special, I wouldn't risk it.
I would do it. We had a married couple and I always loved that. They both taught the same subject. Obviously if you break up, that can be a problem.
I went out with a teacher in my school a few times but I broke it off. Only a few other teachers knew we had gone on a few dates. He taught a completely different subject, so he was in a different wing and it wasn't too terrible after, but still a little uncomfortable. I would say get to know the teacher(s) a little better, and if you really hit it off with one of them, then go for it!
We had a couple at our school. She chose to get a new job once it got serious. I'd totally date someone within the district, but I'd be hesitant about dating within the same school. I guess it'd depend on how often we directly came in contact at school.
Tek, it CAN be done, but tread carefully. I don't know if you're at a new school & therefore have just known these teachers a week or so, but I wouldn't start dating them now. If you really are interested, talk for a good few months to really get to know them. Perhaps you can even decipher whether they're just being nice or if one of them really likes you. By then, it will be around Christmas vacation & you'll have the free time on your hands to maybe go out together & explore how the relationship goes. If you choose to date, have that up front talk about dating with someone in the workplace & how you'll both still stay professional if you break up.
It is against district policy in some districts, so I would try to find out your district's policy. I also agree with a previous poster that if you were interested in dating one teacher, that may cause less tension than dating several. Nepotism rules at my kids' high school - I think there are 7 or 8 married couples.
We have a lot of couples in the district. They cannot be in direct supervisory roles over one another, but that's the only restriction. We have heard cries of nepotism from the general public. We are a very small town to begin with, and only 6% of the population even has a college degree. That narrows our pool considerably. There is a tie to the community or people just don't move here.
Not really an issue at my school - I'm the only one on staff that isn't married . I would date other teachers within my district, but I teach at far too small of a school to date one of my co-workers. We`ve had married couples teach at the same school - one even co-taught the same class for a year!
This is what I was about to say. Being a young female, I can picture myself saying those things to a male colleague that I'm not interested in romantically. It is really nice to have a guy around in a predominately female workplace, just because they're low drama, typically funny, and can take on those tough kids who need a "father figure". I also compliment men on their attire simply because I like clothes, and I like looking at good fashion. If anyone (man or woman) has something unique or cute on, I'll tell them. It doesn't really mean I like them. Just be careful! I would wait for more "telling" signs before making a move.
Excellent point. I've been in some awkward situations with guys confusing being nice (in the same way that I am to everyone) for interest. Like the above poster, I regularly compliment people, both male and female. I just think it's a nice thing to do.
Agreed. I think they're being nice, and I totally see the "it's fun to have a guy around" thing... how I am funny and low (or no, actually) drama. It's different. I'm sure they appreciate that about me. I'm very easy going, often with a smile on my face. I also do some heavy lifting, and I am very helpful to all the ladies, which I'm sure they also appreciate It can be easy to misinterpret kindness for something else/more. I will be very careful. That's why you have that infamous saying "Don't ___ where you eat"
Here's my story about dating another teacher (he worked at a different school) The first year we dated was great and full of all kinds of pros like: - he could relate 100% to the daily struggle of being a teacher and we would share stories and advice - instant study buddy for re-certification exams - planning vacations together was awesome because we both were off the same days - I was more motivated to grade papers because i had a partner (we'd cook dinner together, then grade while watching something dumb on TV) Then, as time passed, I started noticing cons like: - I couldn't ever really escape school (ie: I wouldn't be in the mood to hear anything education related and he would or vice versa) - We also made about the same amount of money (which isn't much, especially considering the high cost of living in our district) so financially we had a hard time. He finally got a 2nd job, which meant he had VERY limited time. - He started taking on more responsibilities at his school (with hopes of being able to move out of the classroom) which meant his VERY limited time became EXTREMELY limited. It got to the point where we didn't see each other for three weeks because he was either at school, his 2nd job, or sleeping. When we broke up it was amicable, but I was thankful we didn't work at the same school because even though I never harbored bad feelings toward him, who really wants to see their ex everyday right after a break up? Even now, it's been a few years and I'm happily married (and I believe he's dating someone else AND he isn't the kind of guy to hold grudges or be mean spirited) but I would feel awkward passing him in the hall knowing he's seen me naked, we've been on a couple vacations together, and how much personal stuff he knows about me.
I have a close friend who was forced to change schools because she was dating the principal at her former school. They had worked together for years. A new teacher caused waves about it. I'm just waiting for the phone call to say that they are married!
It's not something I would do, but I have seen it work. At one school I worked at, there were two married couples. At my last school, there was one couple who have been working at that school together for like 30 years. At my in law's church there is a couple where he's the superintendent and she's a teacher.
update: well, am I glad that I took things slowly. There was a coworker I was very interested in initially, but as we spent more time together naturally (through school lunch, various other interactions), I am realizing maybe we're not as good a match as my mind initially made it out to be. I have not asked her out and while I have shown her some signs of interest, I don't think it was anything overt. Now I'm going to pull back a bit and put her back in my "colleague" box rather than interest potential. Glad I didn't ask her out or anything rash, haha.
Unless they are in the same room, you can avoid him/her if things don't work out. Notice I said if--things might work out so well you get married and have 2.5 kids. Take the chance. Most of the people I know met their spouses at a place of employment, including myself. I say, "go for it!" edit: **ugh, one of those old-thread-updates--just disregard what I said!
When I was in high school two of the teachers in the science department got engaged and eventually married. I have no idea how it worked out for them. Sweets's father and step-mother met because they worked in the same middle school. They kept their relationship a secret, and it wasn't until they came back one year from winter break married that anyone even knew they had been dating. They were married 12 years before he passed away.
Not date a teacher you work with? What if they are the person you should be with. And what better than having someone to 1. car pool with 2. Be off the same days 3. Even see during the day sometimes 4. Be able to understand their fears, problems and conflicts..... Life is too damned short to limit yourself because of "what people might think or say"
No, I don't find it to be a terrible idea to be avoided at all costs. Of course, I wouldn't actively seek a colleague just for the perks of saving gas, having the same schedule, and having someone who truly understands your career , but if something is there, it's there!
I met my husband at work. We worked in the same building for 4 years before we dated. We dated, got engaged, and got married and still work in the same building. We carpool and we spend a LOT of time together. Fortunately we are in different grade levels, so we get a break from each other during the day. We are EXTREMELY professional at work. The highest compliment I think we receive is when someone says, "Oh my gosh, I thought you just had the same last name! I had no idea!" I think that reinforces to us just how professional we are, that people that are new to the building still do not know we are married. I am happy to report that we get that compliment often. With that said, though, there was a lot of trepidation just before we started dating. We each strongly considered NOT dating because of the workplace, but as someone said earlier, life is short. I can't imagine now what my life would be like if I had refused to take the chance!
Appreciate everyone's feedback, but I hope you also didn't miss this post above. Initially, I thought maybe there was something there, but I think it was just proximity and convenience. I asked her to hang out 2 different times, but neither worked out and she didn't seem to offer me "make ups" so I took that at face value. Nothing wrong with taking it slow, and waiting to see how things work themselves out.
