I didn’t resign. Now I’m feeling worse than ever. Please advise?

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by LittleShakespeare, Nov 12, 2018.

  1. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 10, 2018

    Are you sure this isn't career suicide? :(
     
  2. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Dec 10, 2018

    It's career suicide only if you still mean for K-12 education to be your career. I believe MrsC is reasoning, from the ample evidence you keep giving to that effect, that you don't.
     
  3. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Dec 10, 2018

    I thought your resignation letter which means you terminate in 60 days keeps you from having your license removed. So, how is resigning career suicide? You were told to make looking for your next job your second job. That implies that you continue to work per your contract stipulation of giving 60 days notice.
     
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  4. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Oh no, you’re right. I just mean resigning mid-year. But I’ll come up with an answer. I just need time to sleep.
     
  5. geoteacher

    geoteacher Habitué

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    Dec 10, 2018

    It does not have to be career suicide. From what you are saying, you have adequate medical grounds for resigning. If you must go sooner than the 60 days, get your doctor involved and go. I agree with MrsC in that I would never encourage a child of mine to stay in a job that is having a big negative impact on their health. Health trumps everything! Get out of this position and, at least temporarily, pick up another job until you decide what is best for you. Good luck!
     
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  6. heatherberm

    heatherberm Cohort

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    Dec 10, 2018

    Get out. You'll feel 100% better despite the difference in income from teaching to something more temporary. I'm not saying you won't feel it, but I'm sure you'll find that having to stretch your budget is preferable to being so stressed and worried day and night. It won't be career suicide as long as you give your 60 days notice, but really, do that as soon as possible. I was in a somewhat similar situation, and I can't even tell you how much better I felt the second I handed over my resignation. No job is worth your mental health.
     
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  7. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 10, 2018

    You guys, I just want to tell you something.

    Since it’s the holiday season, I’m trying so hard to remain humble and grateful, even in my struggles. I am so lucky I have you. I know we’re just colleagues on the internet, but I can’t begin to tell you how much your words and support have comforted me.

    I have been such a monster. This past summer, I was going crazy with my medication withdrawal. I was having breakdowns as we got closer to September. I thought I could ride it out, and I hate myself for saying this, but I’ve never felt so exhausted. Now, I’m in so much pain. I’ve been causing my family so much heartache. They are so worried about me; I’ve been lashing out and becoming a monster. Sometimes, I wish they could see what I’ve been going through at this school, the way the administration treats me, the way the English teachers are all laughing and secretly hoping I fail. Do you know what one of them said to me today? “Well, SOMEBODY’s gotta be the sacrificial lamb this year!”

    I’m lying in bed now, and I’m so exhausted. I’ve cried enough tears today to fill up our underground swimming pool in the backyard. I did no work when I got home. I literally just turned on Family Guy, had Taco Bell, and did some binge shopping at Barnes and Noble’s website. There was a coupon, so I couldn’t resist. :)

    You guys, I really do love you all, from my heart. You seem to be the only ones who understand my pain. Teaching is such a difficult profession, but it’s even more complicated when you don’t have the resources or when you’re in a poisonous environment. Thank you so much for everything.

    Please pray for me. I hope I’ll someday be able to teach again. I love being “Miss G.” There is nothing more wonderful than bringing joy to students. And I hope I’ll be able to do it again. Please pray for me, you guys. I want to find my right fit. I just want to be with my books for the rest of my life.
     
  8. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Dec 11, 2018

    Just my opinion, it certainly seems that teaching is not your forte. You seem to be getting worse emotionally the longer you stay.
    Have you looked into theatre jobs, opening a book store, working in a library, play writing...anything that let's you use your love of books to earn a living?
    Can you live at home while your income is reduced?
    I think, if you were in my family, I would ask you to give up the teaching job today and not worry about your license, but move on to a different type of job that uses your skills to better yourself.
     
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  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Dec 11, 2018

    It's career suicide to take too many mental health days. It seems like you can't mentally handle this job so it's really a no brainer.
     
  10. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    I actually thing you’re wrong. I think I’m a wonderful teacher. My kids adore me, and I adore the subject matter. I’m in the wrong environment, and I have a mental illness. That doesn’t mean I’m not meant to be a teacher.
     
  11. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I just think you might have less stress taking a job that offers you the opportunity to work with people you love, and with a subject you love but in a different environment.
     
  12. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 11, 2018

    You're absolutely right. I just want to be at a school where I'm not a target. I pray that I'll be able to find my perfect fit.
     
  13. Milsey

    Milsey Habitué

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    Dec 16, 2018

    I think you need to leave - you are not cut out for this profession. I would not want you teaching my daughter. Well if she were 10. She has done modeling for high end clothing retailers, and has several commericals under her belts, and I thank her teachers for teaching her resilience, something you are not teaching your students by calling out so much.
     
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  14. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 16, 2018

    I think I took three sick days altogether, all with doctor’s notes. I’ve been working myself to the bone, and since every other teacher in my position has walked out mid-year, I stayed for these kids that need me. I don’t think you really know anything about me, and it’s a shame that you’re judging what kind of teacher I am based on the environment I’m in.

    And no offense, but I’d be ashamed of teaching “a model.” I want to spend time educating students on being something more fruitful and useful in life than someone who constantly shames others on their bodies and sets an impossible standard for women all over the world.
     
  15. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Dec 16, 2018

    Little Shakespeare,
    I will pray for you. Really, truly and faithfully until you have found a resolution that pays your bills, keeps your potential for teaching alive and keeps your spirit and health from being crushed.
    You will find a solution. We always say "Don't doubt in darkness what you knew in the light." When you had clarity, you knew that this school situation is less than healthy. It is not a good environment for the students, based on your descriptions, nor is it a good environment for you. Stick with that thought. It is unhealthy for you to remain. Do what you need to do to get out wisely. Do you have union representative that could help you file for medical leave of absence? That would give you time to recuperate and to situate. While it is a big decision, you need to just get your resignation situated, apply at any community college that offers online classes so you can get something going now, and don't look back. What you are doing now is not sustainable. Do you have a pastor/minister in whom you could confide? Sometimes someone who knows and loves you can see things clearly. Just some thoughts. Hang in there.
     
    LittleShakespeare likes this.

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