I cant get this student out of my head

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Hokiegrad1993, Feb 24, 2018.

  1. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    Feb 24, 2018

    So I subbed Thursday for a first grade class.
    I met this boy who was retained from kindergarten twice. I learned this from other teachers but you could easily tell he was older than first grade. This kid gets into fights and you can tell his home life is not the best. I for some reason made the connection with this student that apparently no one else could ever do.

    In one day he admitted I was his favorite thing about first grade (this kid is not known for being sweet) and instead of playing games was eager to be my helper and was pushing for me to eat lunch with the class. I talked to other grade teachers and they were surprised by this behavior.

    Idk what I did but he connected with me and had a great day regarding listening. The only thing I can think of was that I was comfortable dishing out sarcasm right back at him when he gave it to me. (I obviously cannot do this with everyone)

    Idk what it is but his story intrigues me. He is almost 9 in the first grade and is incredibly smart I also saw his reading score on the teacher's desk that indicated he was above reading level for his age. Which makes me wonder what else is going on.

    I also am wondering how is actual teacher deals with him and how his reputation throughout the school has come to be.
     
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  3. Kat.

    Kat. Companion

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    Feb 24, 2018

    The fact that he's 9 and is still in first grade is probably a huge part of his behavior. I'm shocked he's been allowed to stay in first when he's so much older.
     
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  4. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    While he was well behaved for me I could easily see his behavior issues. I read sub notes from the previous say and saw he punched another student. I made sure he knew that I knew I knew what happened which I think helped.
     
  5. Kat.

    Kat. Companion

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    I had a student with similar issues. Not a great home life, huge behavior problem in my class and all over the school. He's in first grade (has been removed from my class) and the whole school already has known about his reputation since last year.

    I wanted SO badly to be "that" teacher that finally got through to him...I tried so hard every day the first semester. It was exhausting and I felt like a failure every day. It goes without saying that it didn't happen since he was put into a new class, but I feel for the teacher you subbed for.

    If you're able to, maybe reach out to the teacher and ask her to let you sub for her class next time she has to be out. You bonded with this student who clearly has issues with things like that, and it might be beneficial both to him and to the teacher to know she has a sub who can handle him.
     
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  6. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    Feb 25, 2018

    Her co-teachers wrote my contact info down as did I on her sub plans and mentioned I would love to sub again. They had asked me to come back the next day for her (she was sick all week and this class had three different subs before me.) but I couldn't ... But they are going to make sure I sub next time for her or for other grades.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2018
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  7. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Feb 25, 2018

    I used to work in inpatient psych for children and adolescents. One of the things that I always found curious was that kids with certain attachment disorders sometimes seemed to really connect with their staff, who were virtual strangers. Our newer staff would often make comments like the OP about how they got little Billy to open up and be nice, not anything like what was in the kid’s chart. Those of us who had been there a while recognized that certain attachment disorders can present this way, with kids forming inappropriate, too-strong connections with strangers because they really don’t know how to make real connections. They are mimicking and pretending. After a while, when the new person is not so new, the kid usually returns to all the old behaviors and the cycle repeats when another new person enters the picture. In fact, with these kids we were given strict instructions to avoid a lot of one-on-one attention because it feeds into this cycle. Of course I don’t know if the kid you worked with has an attachment disorder, but it sounds like he may have a history of past trauma. Just something to consider.
     
  8. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    Feb 25, 2018

    Very interesting, I am wondering if that is the case but I would like to think that maybe the other teachers would of told me and not of been so surprised he bonded with me? Or They didn't know. I guess I will never know unless someone tells me next time I sub there.

    I actually saw another student in the class at church this morning she was excited.
     
  9. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Feb 25, 2018

    Kids, like many adults, often like a change or something new. I am glad you connected for the day, but it is hard to know if it would go beyond that in the long term.
     
  10. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    Yea I know me being the positive thinker would like to think if or when I sub for the class again he will connect with me but we will never be sure until it happens.
     
  11. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Well, the other teachers would be bound by confidentiality laws and couldn't discuss any psychiatric issues with you.

    It's easy to bond with a student for a day when you're fresh and new and not putting real demands on them.
     
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  12. GemStone

    GemStone Habitué

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    Yes, attachment disorder sprang to my mind, as well.
     
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  13. Hokiegrad1993

    Hokiegrad1993 Comrade

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    I get that they would be bound by confidentiality. But the genuine shock that he bonded was there. I was not going around to every teacher "bragging" on the connection. The teachers came to me and asked how he was doing out of concern for me and the class due to an incident the day before with a previous sub. Regardless this is all good information for if and when I sub next time.
     
  14. Teacher234

    Teacher234 Cohort

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    Feb 26, 2018

    Maybe the student had a crush on you.

    I had a student like the one you described, my second year of teaching. (Not an SC teacher at the time) This student was expelled from two schools and his IEP was basically a hate letter. Then, the student comes to my classroom. When he came to my classroom, on his first day, there was an individual aide for him, a counselor, and some other ammunition. His first day and week for that matter were surprisingly filled with relatively good behavior. By the end of the year, his individual counselor was no longer needed. Yes, he had some behavioral problems and was a nightmare for a few days..but never needed to go down to the office or receive a suspension. He received detention many times, but that was due to missing assignments.
     
  15. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Feb 27, 2018

    I find this entire post intriguing.
     
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  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I learned a lot working in that psych hospital. I think it made me a much better teacher than I may have been otherwise.
     
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  17. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Feb 27, 2018

    Did you work there during college or afterward (not that it matters...just curious)?
     
  18. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    After grad school while I was waiting for my license to process in another state. I thought it would be a good way to keep my resume up-to-date as far as working with kids and teens. There was an added bonus in that on the unit there were two actual classrooms run by the public school system.
     
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