I am so annoyed right now!

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by Gwen, May 8, 2007.

  1. Gwen

    Gwen Companion

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    May 8, 2007

    **warning - very long**

    Im at a loss with this child and parent. I have a girl in my class who since the beganing of school has had "independence" problems. Her mom shows up for breakfast and spoon feeds the girl. She was coming in a stroller to school up until December. I spoke with the mom about letting the girl feed herself and walking independently. In the class the girl cries when she has to use scissors, cries when she uses glue, cries until one of the other girls in class takes pity and does the work for her. At lunch the mom shows up and pulls the child from the table and spoon feeds her in the hallway. I again spoke with mom about building a social community with the class and not segregating and she needs to learn to feed herself. Everyday we have this talk, every week for months. Finally about a month ago we were walking in from lunch and I turn around and the girls is gone. She disappeared from the line. I panicked! I was running all over school with my class in tow looking for this girl. Well turns out mom pulled her from the line while we were walking and did not tell me. I got upset! I told the mom that during school hours I was accountable for her child and should her child go missing I am the one who is accountable for it. I told her that what she had done had created an unsafe situation which had scared me. Her response...M (lets call the girl M) needed me to wash her face. Grrrrr! So I spoke with administration about this. Obviously I was getting no where with mom. So the agreement is that mom can bring and drop off lunch but cannot stay and feed the child. She followed this agreement for about a month. Yesterday she shows up pulls the kid from the lunch table and feeds her. I went and spoke to administration about this. They said if she does it again tomorrow please tell her to check in with the Principal. So today of course the woman shows up. I go up to her in the hall and I say "I hear you have not checked in at the office. I will take M's lunch and you go check in." I removed the kid and walked her back to the lunch table. Well Mom comes down stairs and says that the Principal said it was ok and then she takes the kid to spoon feed her. I went upstairs and spoke to the Principal who then went downstairs and confronted the mom. What do you do with this??? Seriously it is the sickest behavior I have ever seen from a parent. I had to retain the kid this year because here we are in May and M can still only write the first 2 letters of her name and recognize and write her numbers to 3. Im so frustrated with this parent. Get this too...when I retained her she requested that her kid be in my room again. I don't know if I can take this for another year.
     
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  3. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    May 8, 2007

    Wow! All I can say is wow! We had a parent that began overstepping their bounds and now when she comes to the school, she's not allowed past the office. That sounds like the next step for this parent because her behavior is obviously hindering her child's development. Unless this is a "special" child, no one should be spoon feeding her.
     
  4. rlbbas123

    rlbbas123 Rookie

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    May 8, 2007

    There comes a time when one should let go. This mom needs to really let go! Can you refuse to have the child in your class again. What does the principle say?
     
  5. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    May 8, 2007

    I think a referral to Child Protective Services may be in order. Not because she is abusive, but her actions are definitely harming the child emotionally and academically. I doubt that they'd take the child out of the home, but they may mandate parenting classes.

    In all honesty, it sounds as if the mom has a mental health disorder. Maybe CPS can make sure that she gets the help that she needs.
    Kim
     
  6. sophie1

    sophie1 Comrade

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    May 8, 2007


    I completely agree your situation is not a safe one. It is too bad you don't have the support of your administration. My husband is going through a similar situation. You do need to talk to your principal about not having this student in your room next year, despite the parent request. It would not be a healthy situation for anyone and could blow up to become even worse. Good luck.
     
  7. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    Attachment Parenting Gone Wrong.
     
  8. mrsammieb

    mrsammieb Devotee

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    May 8, 2007

    Words cannot describe how weird that is!!! She is afraid of chocking? Is her child special needs? Is M young or something? That is so so so weird. Very patient of you.

    Parents are so weird, I have a kid who needless to say, we are always in something and I am always calling home about this and that...well, I was requested for the sister to be in my class next year! Why? I don't get it!

    Hang in there!!
     
  9. Amers

    Amers Cohort

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    May 8, 2007

    Wow. I would definitely talk to your prinicpal about not having this girl in your class next year. A person can only take so much! Two straight years with this mother? You must have the patience of a saint!! Good Luck!

    I know I'm new to teaching and haven't seen much, but doesn't this mother see how her behavior is hurting her daughter? She needs help!
     
  10. TXTCHR29

    TXTCHR29 Cohort

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    May 8, 2007

    WOW!!! And I thought I had some crazy parents!!! I would definitely make a call to CPS. The behavior is not normal!
     
  11. Pixiewannabe

    Pixiewannabe Comrade

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    May 8, 2007

    I too am in shock!
     
  12. tm91784

    tm91784 Comrade

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    May 8, 2007

    Wow!! Something is definitely wrong there.
     
  13. childcare teach

    childcare teach Comrade

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    May 9, 2007

    OKAY.THIS MOM NEEDS TO LET GO. IN MY SONS SCHOOL YOU CAN NOT GET PASSED THE OFFICE WITH OUT A PASS SAYING WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU ARE THERE. ALL OTHER DOORS ARE LOCKED AND CAN NOT BE OPENED TIL END OF DAY. M IS NOT BEFITTING AT ALL FROM THIS IT IS HURTTING HER. THE SCHOOL PRICPLE NEEDS TO STEP IN AND BACK YOU ALL THE WAY.
     
  14. Gwen

    Gwen Companion

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    Thanks for listening to my vent. Im at a complete loss. After a while you start to wonder why you even bother speaking to mom when all she does is ignore. Im talking to my colleagues about them possiably taking the girl in their room next year. However the administration seems to think this will be good for M to be in my room next year.
     
  15. Yen

    Yen Rookie

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    May 9, 2007

    This would be a time to have a serious discussion with your admin about rules and procedures the mom needs to have if the child were to be placed with you again. You need to let mom know what it is you expect from her, and stick to your guns about it.
    From what it sounds like, mom has been able to get away with a lot, and she's using that to her advantage. Someone above posted contacting CPS, which I think is a good idea. They may be able to step in and help out on the parenting class end of things. From what it sounds like, mom likes having her child be dependent on her completely.
     
  16. rlbbas123

    rlbbas123 Rookie

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    May 9, 2007

    If the mom's behavior doesn't stop now, can one imagine what she will be like 3-4 years from now. Some higher ups really need to think about stepping in before a bigger problem arises.
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    May 9, 2007

    Is there a school /distict psychologist? This should probably be bumped "upstairs" for someone to look at. Minimallly, I would document it all and have it in the child's file.
     
  18. KdgtnCop

    KdgtnCop Rookie

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    May 9, 2007

    This is a Kindergartener???!!! A child who can only write 1,2, and 3, and write the first 2 letters of his/her name probably needs a referral for "special education" services. Sounds as if the self-help, academics, AND social skills are lacking...maybe not entirely the child's fault, but, unfortunately, we don't test the adults! Maybe an IEP meeting (or starting the Comprehensive Support services) may give mom a clue. Does the child appear to be developing at a normal rate of speed, and if not, is it attributed to mom's over-involvement? Secondly- WHY in the world did the school let a parent come into the building without asking you if you had an appointment...and WHY didn't they throw her out after she ABDUCTED a kid from your line??? (We are locked, no one is permitted into our buiding without an appointment, and everyone who brings a late lunch box must drop it in the office and leave) Definitely Definitely Definitely- a security plan should be implemented so visitors are escorted to their appointments with teachers, and no one should be permitted to "browse" the hallways during school hours. It's for your safety and everyone else's. There are too many crazy nut-jobs out there. You can never be too careful these days. Get that safety plan in motion! Tough questions...but I agree with you- she belongs in someone else's room next year!
     
  19. GardenDove

    GardenDove Habitué

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    May 9, 2007

    Sounds like the family of a patient I had today. They have turned this 53 year man with chronic health problems into an absolute infant. Ugh, how annoying and grating on the nerves!
     

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