I almost hit a child today.

Discussion in 'Secondary Education Archives' started by alexsmom322, Oct 5, 2006.

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  1. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    Is it time to think of a new career?
    Background: I am in an elementary school which has just added 6th grade. I teach 6th grade science, this is my 1st year. The school has a lot of children with serious behavior issues. Lots of them have to wait until "their medicine kicks in" before we can even teach them. One child in particular has his mom making excuses for him. Shows up unannounced in my room during my planning periods, and before school, making demands, that we right down his assignments, for him, and allow him to turn in homework late, and to look through his bookbag for his stuff. She has even gone so far as to claim that someone stole his book, when 3 out of 5 days he has it in class.

    The kid is no better, he's crazy as a loon. He punched a child because of something he "thought" he said (And let me add the principal is a little on the weird side too).

    The dish: I gave the entire class a copy of portions of a test I was making, no answers, just the questions, ( I wanted to go over the type of questions I would ask) I said " Do not write on these, out loud to the whole class, just look at them for a few minutes".

    I went next door to get something from the copier, I come back and this kid has not only written his name on it, but he has started answering the questions. I took it from him and repeated do not write on it. I tore it up, and gave him a clean copy. He got mad and tore it up. I gave him another one, he tore it up. I told him to get out and go to the office, he jumped up in a threatening manner, and bowed up at me. I said boy, you better get out of here right now before I knock you out. Again, this child bowed up at me, and had his fist up. I picked up a chair, and said, get out before I hurt you little boy. And he started to go out, I put the chair down and made sure he was going down the hall, he turned again like he was going to hit me. By this time I was livid, I did not hit him though.

    His mother came in with all kinds of excuses (he's tired (can't be tired from doing my homework because he hasn't done any in over a week), "oh he had a stroke when he was a baby" - WTF? hello he's 11 now! The kid can't even talk for himself she feeds him so much bull. He can't even remember what he was so angry about, he said he was mad because of what he thought one of the kids might have said!

    The kids said nothing to him, but they did laugh, when I took his paper away. (the little buttmunches that 6th grade boys are)
    Anyone have any advice, besides me going out to ask for a xanax prescription. He was suspended for one day. I know I shouldn't have picked the chair up, but I wanted some space between us, so I wouldn't strangle that child. Any advice on how I should document this, I'm sure the principal is going to interview the kids to ask what happened.
     
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  3. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Oct 5, 2006

    Do you have a para??????? You need more help.
     
  4. myangel52

    myangel52 Comrade

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    I don't have any advice, but I am SO sorry that you have to deal with this. This is a bit crazy. Definitely document what happened, just write it out, make a copy of it to keep.
    I am glad that you were able to restrain yourself, because that would have been much much worse. Best of luck to whatever happens next.
     
  5. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    I don't have this child all day. Our class periods are 50 minutes. We have five 6th grade teachers, one for each subject. My special ed person is useless, I see her only when the she wants to hide from the principal. She sat in class and wrote her lesson plans. I have no help from special ed. My mentor has only been teaching 2 years. My classes are small because this is a pilot program, we have 70 total students, I have the largest HR at 19 (all girls). I have no paraprofessionals, they are spread in the lower grades.
     
  6. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Could you ask for help during his time period. The situation will only get worse, and it is not worth so much aggravation. You really do need more help with this kid. I hope you can get it.
     
  7. musicteach

    musicteach Companion

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    Oct 5, 2006

    I don't really know what to say about whether you should quit teaching, but I can recommend learning some new techniques to handle issues like this better in the future. I attended a Love and Logic conference a couple of years ago on how to handle children like the one you just mentioned, and learned some great techniques (I don't teach children with that many issues--I'm in a rural district with overall well-behaved children, but the techniques were geared toward defiant children). Basically, you learn to not let the kid get to you so much....Check out www.loveandlogic.com and if you want more info, I'd be happy to send you some of the notes on handling defiant students from the book I got at the conference .
     
  8. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    thanks, not likely though....Out of 70 6th grade kids, probably 20 of them have serious behavior issues, and probably 15-20 are special ed. The other classes have 25 and 30 kids in them...so they need the help. THe kid is not always like this..., ususally quiet, unless he gets frustrated or angry. He's not on med, he's gotta be opd, or bipolar or something.
     
  9. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    thanks I will look up that site...I know I shouldn't have lost my temper, but I had just had enough of him and his crazy ass momma. I talk to him afterwards, he wouldn't apologize, but I knew he didn't even know why he was so angry. I am very strict, maybe even mean, but I have to be because these kids had a fre ride last year.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Have you had to discuss this incident with the principal yet? If so, how did the meeting go? This may get ugly before it is all said and done, so please be prepared. Other students are going to tell their parents tonight that you said you were going to knock a boy out and then picked up a chair...and parents will probably be upset. Best of luck.
     
  11. wunderwhy

    wunderwhy Comrade

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    I am wondering . . . why were YOU so angry???

    I don't think he's the one who needs to apologize, and I think you're lucky if you don't get any crap for this. If it does blow over, then I hope you'll realize how lucky you are and approach future situations with a more professional attitude.

    Nobody is perfect, and I've certainly let things get under my skin, especially when I was a brand new teacher. But I am concerned about the adversarial tone to your comments, calling him "little boy" and declaring that you will cause him bodily harm AND picking up a chair to back up your threat.

    I also don't think his error was all that grevious. This boy just doesn't sound all that bright. I doubt that he heard your instructions about not writing on the paper and then cackled evilly to himself as he devised a plan to thwart you. He's slow, and he had a paper with questions in front of him, and he started to fill it out. Your reaction, complete with ripping up his paper (???), could not have been all that discreet if it caused the rest of the class to laugh at him. Was that really necessary? That would make me angry too!

    Others have written you supportive posts, and I am glad that there are places like this where new teachers can receive support. That's important and valuable in this country where so many teachers quit within the first few years. But . . . in my opinion, this is about YOU, not a slow 11 year old boy with a questionable home life. Kids like this will come along every year, and believe me, they will do worse than not listen when you explain that you are giving them a sheet that they are not supposed to work on while you leave them alone in the room with it. Your reaction to these moments must come from a calm, mature place within you. I hope you find that place within yourself. I really do.

    I know you wanted sympathy for having such an annoying kid in your class, but I can't offer that. Unprofessional trumps annoying any day.

    Perhaps a good litmus test will be . . . What would happen if my words/actions were recorded and played on the news? Because that happens these days. Check out http://www.youtube.com and search for "teacher" or "angry teacher" if you want to see some examples. You'll find teachers blowing gaskets in spectacularly unprofessional ways, all recorded by sly students who had had enough of the "angry teacher show."
     
  12. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    With all due respect, I agree with wunderwhy. I am honestly surprised you will be allowed back in the classroom tomorrow. Then again, as I said before, this may slowly grow ugly as more people in the community learn about the specifics, which they will. Again, best of luck with everything.
     
  13. mnteacherguy

    mnteacherguy Companion

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    I'm sorry if you do not agree with me, but what you did in the classroom was not professional. You are the adult in the classroom and should NEVER physically threaten a student. If I were you I would take some classroom management classes.

    Quote:
    I said boy, you better get out of here right now before I knock you out.



    Quote:
    I picked up a chair, and said, get out before I hurt you little boy.



    Quote:
    I talk to him afterwards, he wouldn't apologize, but I knew he didn't even know why he was so angry.

    This boy may have issues, but you are there to teach him or her NO MATTER WHAT. If you do not feel like teaching all types of children enter another profession please.
     
  14. AngelEyes

    AngelEyes Rookie

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    :wow: I completely agree with the last post~ your actions were unprofessional and inappropriate. Not that I would have been any better in the situation (I hope I would, but realistically, I know how it feels to be at wit's end :eek: ). The thing that bothers me is that you don't seem to see anything wrong with your actions. If ANY adult acted this way toward one of my kids I'd freak...let alone a teacher!

    :sorry: Hope I haven't offended you too much, but you seem like a person who can handle some constructive criticism...and I believe you really wanted an honest answer.
     
  15. ellen_a

    ellen_a Groupie

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    Thank you.
    This is just what needed to be said.

    You can not expect your students to keep their behavior in check if you can not do the same with your own.
     
  16. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Yes
     
  17. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for advice. I was so angry, because this was not the first straw, this was the last straw, we have only been in school 9 weeks, and the child has been suspended 3 times for his violent outburst and behavior. I was almost willing to take a hit for the team if it meant that we could send that child somewhere so that he could get the help he desperately needs.
    I admited to him and the principal that I was wrong, completely wrong for getting so angry, that's why I am asking for support on what I should do. Yes, he is very slow. I ripped up the paper because it was the exam that I gave him. Didn't rip in his face, took it, ripped it in half, and threw it away, nothing as dramatic as you make it. the TWO kids sitting by him were laughing because they are slow themselves and THEY make fun of him.
    We do this every week to review for the test, every week, I say do not write on the paper, every week, he does something off the chain, or asks me completely off the wall quetsions like, if "A tornado caught your dog will its guts get splattered everywhere?"
    I admit I should not have picked up the chair, I don't think I really said "little boy", however in my venting and frustration in typing this, that was what I was thinking. This only happened a few hours ago, I think I am entitled to embellish my actions to let you know what I was thinking.
    I have done nothing but support this child, even though he and his mom drive me insane. I am peaches and cream to them both, and they know it, but I am not about to let this child get away with these ridiculous outbursts in my class, when there are 6 other behavior issues I am trying to get in chcek, including two kids that have been put in freakin jail last year...by the principal. I told him specifically to get out, and I told him that twice. I did say if he hit me I was going to knock him out, and that was the truth, if that means my job...then f*ck it, if that kid hit me, I was going to knock his behind out, and I wanted him to know that.
     
  18. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    There is a huge difference betweeen strict and being mean. I don't want to judge you. I do think you need more help managing behaviors, it's not an easy job for anyone, but maybe with some help you can get past trying to control the situation.
     
  19. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    I am not at all offended. I didn't try to get him to apologize, his mom did, and I told her, " he doesn't need to apologize to me he needs to calm down," and then I will talk to him. The principal was the one that said he should apologize and he wouldn't, because he was still too angry. He wasn't even angry at me, he told the principal he was angry at the two boys for something they said, when it likely wasn't even directed to him. I told them both in the conference that I still love the kid and that he is still welcome in my class, and left it at that.
     
  20. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Does this child receive any type of counseling? His anger issues are very deep, school is probably the last thing on his mind. It's hard not to engage in a power struggle at times, but as teachers we HAVE to.
     
  21. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    I agree completely. AGAIN SINCE I AM IN THIS CONTRACT UNTIL MAY, I want ADVISE on what I should do next time, or what I should do next. I know that I lost patience, and blew up, and that is uncharacteristic of me as a teacher. I should not have let this child push my buttons. I am trying to think of what I should say to the rest of the class tomorrow also, so that they know that I was wrong for telling him I would knock him out, but I also can't look like I am going to let him, or them walk all over me.
     
  22. marlee

    marlee New Member

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    We teach because we love kids.

    You need to think very seriously about why you are there. As a teacher I know how parents can be and ED students, but we are to rise above all and be a safe haven for these children. We are to find them the help they need and when parents block that, the administration needs to step in. Never, under any circumstance to we threaten to hurt a child. EVER. This is your first year? You need to re-evaluate. You called 6th grade boys buttmunches!!! Do you need to be their teacher??? This isn't good for you either. It sounds like a lose, lose situation.












     
  23. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I think you should be honest and tell that that you lost your temper yesterday and you were wrong. You can't make them respect you. That is something they will do when they see you are serious.
     
  24. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    no counseling, no medication. Mom is in complete denial. Has been since he transered in two years ago. Four schools in six years. He has an IEP for Reading, (extremely smart in Math), decent in Science if he would ever do the work, and stop getting suspended. He loves school really, and usually loves my class because I don't ignore him, I make him contribute to class.
     
  25. Ms. Ford

    Ms. Ford New Member

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    With all due respect, I really can't see how that situation can make you get so angry. Each year, I have at least one student like this all day long. First piece of advice, you have to always remember that he is a child, and you are an adult. As my principal tells us, pick your battles. Was it such a big deal that he was writing on the paper?? If you look at the bigger picture, your directions might not have been clear to him. Children like that need to be handled with "kid gloves" Second piece of advice, step back take a deep breath and then deal with the situation. If you don't you will burn out quickly. Set up a check list with him and his mom so that he can check his bag as he packs it at night and keep your anacdotal records to send to his mom and your principal weekly
     
  26. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    C'mon people, I wouldn't call them butt munches to their face. I am just trying to say they are constantly janking and teasing each other. These boys in this class only want to play, they have the lowest scores of all five classes, in every class they take, and since they are my last class, after PE they are even worse. I am trying to make them the best class, and like I said, I am one of their favorite teachers because they know I care whether they pass or fail. If no one else is they know that I am going to be constantly on them about homework, studying and classwork, because when a school is 95 % poverty I know they don't have any one else, that's why I DON"T want to fail them as a teacher. I don't ever call them names to their faces, but are you trying to tell me that you have never been ticked off before and called a child, or an adult a name amongst friends?
     
  27. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    If you really mean that, then I agree with the other respondents that maybe you should look into a different career. He's a kid! Were you really in a place where you would have hurt him just because of an incident that stemmed from his not following directions? The one thing I noticed from your description is that he seems really sensitive to the opinions of his peers. I think it's really important for teachers to hide any frustration they feel toward a child, because the other students pick up on that. I also feel like we are setting an example for behavior. Maybe if you had kept your cool, even stepped outside for a minute to catch your breath, you would have been setting a better example of the proper way to react to conflict. I don't even like when it gets to the point that I'm raising my voice to my class - I can't imagine getting to the point that I would actually even tell a child I would hurt them.
     
  28. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    You are right, it really wasn't that big a deal (the paper) I did have another paper. I can't make excuses, I should have taken a step back, but you know hindsight is 20/20. The more I think about it, the more I think, I have got to find a way to communicate with this kid without it getting to the point where he completely frustrates me. It's certainly not worth wasting my instruction time with these trivial battles.
     
  29. wunderwhy

    wunderwhy Comrade

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    The more you dissemble, the less confidence I have in your ability to learn a much needed lesson here. You say you need advice because you are in a contract through May . . . not if you are fired for threatening a student! You make it sound like the county is lucky that they have managed to contract you for this amount of time, and that the students are lucky to have you for a teacher. You verbally threatened physical harm to a student, and I believe you should lose your job for it. I hope that when you calm down, you let it all sink in. The only thing you can do now is apologize . . . humbly and sincerely.

    The students will respect you a lot more if you lay it all on the line than if your pride/fear of losing control leads you to make a half-hearted apology full of rationalizations. If I were you, I would say, "Guys, I need to apologize to you. What I did yesterday was completely out of line. I never should have done that, and I hope you know that no matter what you do, a teacher should never react that way. I'm really, really sorry, especially to [name of boy]."

    I gave a rather extensive apology a few years back when I accused a boy who was always making trouble of being the one who threw something or said something inappropriate (can't remember the details now). Another "good" student sheepishly admitted to doing it, so I made a point to apologize to the boy in front of the whole class. I can pinpoint that as the moment when I "won over" a very hardened girl in a group home. The boy said something like, "Pssshaw, don't make a big deal about it." I said, "Well, I believe that when you make a mistake, you should apologize. It doesn't change what you did, but it's the least you can do." The girl sort of mulled it over and then nodded approvingly and said, "Yeah!" She became one of those special students whom you go to work for every day. She had been mistreated by so many adults in her life, I really don't think she would have opened up to me until she saw that I saw them as people too, not just as students who were supposed to respect me no matter how wrong I was.

    You asked how to deal with future situations . . . it's easier said than done, but the key is not to react emotionally. I had a kid who would come in every day and exclaim, "Ugh! YOU again! Why can't you ever be out???" I would just chuckle and say, "Now [name], how would you feel if I said, 'Ugh! Not THAT kid again! Why can't he be absent???" and then I'd give a wink and move on. Sure, we could have gone down the road of parent conferences and office referrals, but it wasn't going to stop his urge to make others feel as lousy as he did.

    Chuckling good-naturedly works with kids who have difficulty with directions. When it's really bad, I joke that I just might see about taking them back to the student store and exchanging them for a new model. This is effective for me because it gets across that I am actually peeved, but it's not a real scenario like strangling them or taping them to their chairs. I realize that even though I would just be joking in a light-hearted manner, if I said the words I have to be ready to stand behind them.

    I really hope you'll read over all of the posts you have gotten. People are responding to your post rather than others because of concern and, let's be honest, disgust. Some people here have been teaching a long time. We come from different parts of the country, different subjects, different ages, and yet we are pretty much saying the same thing. You wanted our advice, and we are giving it readily. Hopefully it will sink in tonight as you get ready to do your best to rectify the situation tomorrow.
     
  30. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    Yes, I agree, I should have stepped outside, next time I will do that, it's frustrating to deal witht this on my own. If we as a school had the support from our principal, on these behavior issues it might help, but we don't. I think they call it ADULT voice versus PARENT voice. I have 3 kids, and I tell them if you do such and such I will knock you upside your head...." they know its not literal, but you know its difficult not to be in tha parent mode when you are a teacher. When I talk to the kids tomorrow, I will ask them what things I could have done to handle it better. Maybe they will give me some better ideas, they are crazy loons, but they are my crazy loons.
     
  31. dignity

    dignity New Member

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    i hope this helps

    hello wonderful person,
    before addressing the child's problem, you must give yourself more credit than you are allowing. you are very good teacher who new when to control yourself. working in such conditions is no treat and is not easy. believe in yourself and boost yourself esteem. you have all the power to bring change in the kids life and attitude towards others.
    Children with behavior problems usually act out to satisfy their basic human needs _ power, control, and belonging which too often are neglected by fragmented communities and unstable families. There is a power relationship between poor academic performance and poor behavior. Kids who have discipline problems often have a history of failure. students who are discipline problems, generaaly view others as responsible for the bad things that happen to them. I did this to her cause she called my mama this. These kids usually feel quite powerless. They press other’s button as way to feel in control. in your situation these are the following steps that may help:
    1. give the student control, such as ask him to distribute the papers to class and to inform them not to write on their test.
    2. if he writes or fills in, then approach him as what are you doing? What are you supposed to be doing? So that the child does not have a chance to blame others. then, to mend his self esteem say,I must not have made that request very clear, and I can see what you must have been thinking to fill it to impress me. then check his answers and give him the credit for the right answers. finally tell him that since he broke the rule he should make a choice of what he wants that will best help him to stop repeating the behavior next time- giving yourself a warning, writing a plan, or inviting mom in for a problem- solving meeting.
    a teacher's attitude is projected in his/ her students. your self esteem and your belief - you can make a difference, you can bring success will bring out the same emotions in kids. hence value your self you are a great person- a teacher. you just need to take a deep breath and smile.
    :) dignity
    Reference: Discipline with dignity. i forgot the author's name. :sorry:
     
  32. BronxTigger

    BronxTigger Rookie

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    I'm new here so I don't really know any background on anyone in this forum and don't make any claims to.

    This thread's original post boils down to a first year teacher needing advice on a bad situation. It is not providing much of that at this point.

    alexsmom322: Have you seen the "stages of first year teacher development"? There are 5: Anticipation, Survival, Disillusionment, Rejuvination, and Reflection. (This is from the "New Teacher Center"...you can google it for more info) I asked myself almost every day if I should quit, because I had a difficult class and I thought maybe I made a career mistake. Give it time.

    I was a first year teacher last year, and I felt like I was in the survival stage for most of the year. It's NOT easy.

    From your post, I wonder a few things, just based on some things I learned during last year.
    - Why did you leave the room in the first place? You know this class has behavior issues. In the future, make sure you have all your materials ahead of time so that you can devote your full attention to them at all times.
    - I don't know your teaching system, but why are you giving them the actual exam ahead of time? Could you instead give them a list of specific topics to study? Maybe even one they could write on and take home to study.
    - Have you had a conference with the mom, child, and yourself? Create an agenda for it and make sure the mom is aware that you are sticking to your agenda.
    - Since you know the other kids will laugh if you correct this child in front of others and he will blow up, take him aside to speak to him. Whisper in his ear/talk in a low voice so only you and him know what is going on. Take him aside sometimes too when he is doing the right thing to praise him, so that he is not always coming to you to be corrected.

    Hope some of this helps.
     
  33. wunderwhy

    wunderwhy Comrade

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    Oct 5, 2006

    :( Two year olds and five year olds know the difference between literal and figurative? I don't think so.

    This is getting into territory that strangers on a forum can't really do much about. So here are my two cents . . .

    I had already figured that if you spoke to your students that way, you did with your children too, but I guess it's all the more disturbing that you admit it so shamelessly . . . which leads us to extrapolation #2, which is that this is how you were spoken to as a child, which would explain your refusal to accept that this is inappropriate. Please consider counseling.
     
  34. science teacher

    science teacher New Member

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    Maybe you should choose a different career?

    I realize that you are only nine weeks into your school year and probably cannot get out of your teaching job at this point, but I also think you need to think about whether you are prepared for the rest of the school year. I do not know exactly what this student is like but most of us have had extremely low, and behaviorally disabled students. I think you need to figure out why you are so angry. Is it the childs fault that his mother is a thorn in your side? Seems to me that you are angry because of the extra work this student requires. Do you think he has chosen to be both learning disabled and behaviorally disabled? I am sure that if he had the choice he would rather be a normal child who functions normally in a classroom.
    Your impatience and unforgiving nature with him shows that you really are not willing or able to handle the special needs this child requires. I, like many of the others who responded think that if you have that many BD students in your class that you should have a para in the classroom with you. But, since this may not be available you are going to have to find a way to cope with the circumstances you have been dealt. You are the adult, he is the child, he needs your love and understanding every day he is in your classroom. I realize this will be no easy task but the rewards you will receive from his successes because of your help will be worth all the extra work on your part. You say you love this child but you call him names and talk of him as if he were not even human. Next time your face a situation similar to the one you did today try putting yourself in his shoes. You as an educated adult know how to handle your feelings and anger, or at least you should. He as a disabled child has difficulty just functionally on a daily basis. How would you like to live at home with the mother you have described? Children will usually respond to you in a more respectful way if you treat them with the same respect and kindness that you want to be treated with.
    I hope that you can either find a way to deal with your anger and frustration in a way that will not continue to have ramifications for this child, or find something new to do where others will not be hurt by your words or actions.
     
  35. wunderwhy

    wunderwhy Comrade

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    Oct 5, 2006

    P.S. Where are all these people coming from who are signing up just to reply to this post?
     
  36. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    Thanks wunderwhy, you had some insightful comments in there. you have every right to be disgusted with, I am too, if not incredibly frustrated. If I did lose my job over this then it is merited, I did lose my cool. Things are different here than in other schools. While I was standing there with the chair in my hand, all I could think about was I have to keep this kid away from me, I felt like a caged tiger, and now that I think about it he did too. I don't think he was as scared of me as I was of him. He didn't even remember me holding the chair between us. He thought he was in the office because he threw the chair down he was sitting in.
     
  37. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Oct 5, 2006

    What I learned from NYC schools

    1) Never ever leave your classroom- it's a recipe for disaster
    2) Do not raise your voice or stoop to the kids level- they will tune you out... they have heard it all before and probbly hear it at home too
    3) Take one day at a time.... this is the truth!
    4) Be firm- Be fair

    Good Luck
     
  38. musicteach

    musicteach Companion

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    Oct 5, 2006

    I'm going to jump back into this. It is really necessary that you realize you are the ADULT and they are CHILDREN. These children may not have the best role models at home, and even teasing that you "Knock them upside their heads" is NOT professional at all...joking or not! You are teaching them that it is okay to disrespectfully to talk to each other and implying that physically taking care of a problem is better than talking. It is YOUR job to teach these kids how to behave properly and modeling is the best way. You definitely need to attend a conference, or read a book on classroom discipline....run to the book store and pick up a book (I mentioned the Love and Logic, and think it will seriously help you learn how to discipline with a caring attitude) My favorite part about L & L is turning your words into gold. If a student is yelling at you, you simply say, "I will listen to you when you can talk to me in a calm voice." Then ignore them. If they continue you use an EMPHATIC statement, like "Oh, what a bummer" and give them a choice...."I will listen to you...etc". If they don't get the idea, you give them a choice...you can speak calmly to me, or you can (whatever you want your alternative to be). While they are still mis-behaving you go into "Dead brain mode"---you simply ignore the bad behavior....no child should cause you to get so angry. Period. If you don't lose your job, you will lose your drive to teach and burn out fast!
     
  39. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    I have never hit my children, never have never will. So please don't make this about them. Most of these kids have no parental figures, and they crave that parent relationship they have with me. Its wrong, I know, but I can't change the way I talk. My kids DO know I would never hit them, just like if I say to my daughter get off that bed or I am going to snatch you baldheaded. My five year old hears me and knows I'm not going to do that, but the tone in my voice lets him know I mean business, not the words.
     
  40. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I think you've hit the nail on the head. Bottom line- do not stoop to the kids level. Show them a better alternative. It is hard, and you may have to count to ten, but you have to keep your emotions in check.
     
  41. alexsmom322

    alexsmom322 Rookie

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    Oct 5, 2006

    yes musictoteach you are also right. we expect the children not to jank, and I shouldn't either, and that's what it is, playing the dozens, I joke with them, but this was certainly not something that was a joking manner. I only went next door to get a paper off the printer, I had no idea it would spiral into all this in less than 5 minutes. Again, just expressing the frustration that I am feeling.
     
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