how you talk to your students

Discussion in 'General Education' started by TeacherBug08, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. TeacherBug08

    TeacherBug08 Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jan 24, 2014

    Im a first year teacher looking for advice. I feel like my classroom management isn't bad for my first year. I never raise my voice, but when my class as a whole doesn't do well I think I do talk with a frustrated tone/lecture. I have one teacher that says when your students/student misbehave you hive it back to them times 10 with management- in terms of consequences. Do you ever catch yourself talking o your students in a nagging frustrating tone?
     
  2.  
  3. riverdance85

    riverdance85 Rookie

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2013
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jan 24, 2014

    Always follow through with your CM plan and be consistent. I have been teaching for over two years and sometimes I talk in a frustrated tone. It's not advisable to do it often, or at all. Be firm, and hide your buttons! They will try very hard to find them and push them, but don't let minor annoyances get to you. That takes practice. I am also mastering this trait as a teacher.

    Bottom line is to stick to your established consequences and don't back down. If you do, reestablishing control gets tricky.
     
  4. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    17

    Jan 24, 2014

    I used too. During my first few years, I was constantly frustrated/upset/miserable and at times, this would come out in my attitude/tone. Not so much yelling, but I was snippy and always giving the evil eye or rolling my eyes. What changed is that I came to accept (after a convo with Admin) that many of things in my district that drive me crazy just are what they are and if I was expecting something else, I had to get out of teaching in Baltimore (which is not a financial option).


    So for the past two years, I've worked very hard at "detaching" myself emotionally from the daily frustrations because this is the only way I can make it through the day. In my interactions with the kids, I am super polite and calm and in all situations but not necessarily warm or genuine. Students know that they can't get a visible rise out of me (although, I am often seething on the inside). Students call it Robot-mode and that's exactly what it is.
     
  5. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jan 24, 2014

    What grade are you teaching?

    Have you tried just stopping and thinking? When I feel my frustrations mount I stop and ask myself where the problem is. Is it the students? Are they just wound up because of whatever? Am I not being clear enough in my teaching? Am I just having an off day where nothing seems to go right? Do the students need a break? Do I need a break? Are the students just not ready for the concept I am trying to teach? Are they missing a key component required to understand what I am trying to teach?

    Answering these questions will help you refocus your emotions into a solution. For example, yesterday I was trying to teach a lesson. It was like trying to pull teeth to get the students to even respond. We are all out of wack with snow days, testing, etc. It has been too cold for the children to get outside to play. So, I put on the music, and we danced.

    I felt better, and so did the children. I then put them to work on a totally different activity. During lunch I came up with a new plan to teach the concept. It worked like a charm! I had used the first lesson before successfully, but it just wasn't working with this group for some reason.
     
  6. TeacherBug08

    TeacherBug08 Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jan 25, 2014

    I teach first grade. My students come from very challenging home lives. I get frustrated when I have 3 kiddos who have such a hard time doing job. However with whole group the only time I honestly get after them is our transitions to change task quickly. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have the patience for first. I give the evil teacher eye to those 3 quite a bit. However we do have a lot fun: cheers, jokes, brain breaks etc. My principal always nothing but great things to say about me. I am just getting down though. I think when one of those 3 really act up I get frustrated- I go into lecture mood "I love you but I don't always love the choices you make. That behavior is unacceptable in this room." And I think my overall tone with whole class then suffers. I need to master the robot.
     
  7. TeacherBug08

    TeacherBug08 Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jan 25, 2014

    I also don't know when to ignore some minor behaviors and when not too. I really need to get a handle on that if I plan to stay in this district. If you have a kiddo who misbehaves on purpose do you just completely ignore or do you hand out the consequences at that moment?
     
  8. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jan 25, 2014

    I hand out the consequence immediately and calmly. Then I move on. No lecture, no talk, no emotions, nothing. I am just very matter of fact about it. It is their choice to behave or misbehave. It is also their choice to have a consequence. I don't care either way because they are the ones that have to live with their choices. I can plead beg, cajole, and pep talk them until I am blue in the face, but ultimately it is their choice.
    And trust me, someone has already tried talking to them , begging them, bribing them, etc. If that was going to work it would have already worked, and you wouldn't have this problem.
     
  9. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jan 25, 2014

    I asked about the grade because sometimes the little ones just need to put their heads down on their desks and relax. They seem to get overstimulated at times. Sometimes I turn off the lights and have them put down their heads. Then I sit and just breathe. This gives us all a chance to recoup. You can almost feel the change come over the room. Then I speak very softly and tell them that if they are ready they can join us in our next lesson. I tell them if they aren't ready then they should stay where they are for a little bit longer.

    Don't lecture. They tune you out because they don't want to hear it. Simply say, "Your behavior is unacceptable. Your consequence is ......." Turn and return to whatever you were doing before the incident.

    Also, are you sure the three students truly understand your expectations when it comes to transitions? Can you keep them in at recess and model for them what you expect? Have them practice it until they have a sense of pride because they can model for you what you expect from them.
     
  10. TeacherBug08

    TeacherBug08 Companion

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jan 25, 2014

    Wow thank you so much for such great advice! I wish I could keep them in at recess but I am always on recess duty every day with my kids.
     
  11. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jan 25, 2014

    Then I would do a whole class review lesson on how to transition correctly. Model what you want and don't want. Give them an opportunity to model your expectations. Have some students model incorrectly so you can talk about what they did wrong and why it is a problem. Make sure the three with a problem have an opportunity to shine during this time. Later when they transition correctly be sure to quietly acknowledge to them how they are doing a nice job. Don't gush or make a big deal of it.
     
  12. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    Jan 25, 2014

    My voice used to sound frustrated/annoyed/angry in tone, but I think I've improved with that over the years. I had a really tough class 3 years ago, and I felt like I was always talking to them with a certain tone in my voice, and I didn't like it. The past few years I've tried really hard to remain calm when I get upset. For example, if they really loud during a transition, I will calmly wait for them to get it together. Then I will say, "Let's review our expectations for transition time" and make them try it over and over again, until they are exhibiting the expected behavior. It takes more patience, but at least I don't feel guilty for yelling at them!
     
  13. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    3,061
    Likes Received:
    538

    Jan 25, 2014

    Have your 3 kiddos model the right way to transition for the class. Present it like this, "Who can show me the right way to line up for gym? Hmmm... how about Jimmy, Sally and Bill. Okay you 3 show the class the right way. Wow! I love how Sally is keeping her hands to herself. Look at how quietly Jimmy is lining up. Oooh, Bill even pushed in his chair. Wow! That was perfect! Now, who can line up as perfectly as Jimmy, Sally and Bill? If you're not sure what to do, just look at one of them because they are showing the right way." Set them up as experts.
     
  14. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2011
    Messages:
    5,770
    Likes Received:
    1,002

    Jan 25, 2014

    One teacher I knew, if he had recess duty, would call the students over to where he was standing and overseeing and have them sit silently next to him. I don't know if this would be possible in your case, but I just remembered that.
     
  15. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2010
    Messages:
    4,840
    Likes Received:
    1,039

    Jan 25, 2014

    I don't think my voice sounds nagging, but my P said if we (not just me, teachers in general) keep going over and over stuff, it turns into nagging. She also said instead of lecturing about something, we should be encouraging. Nagging and lecturing are things the students hear at home and they will tune it out, or even have a bad reaction to it.

    She said what I have to watch is 'overcommunication'. Either telling someone over and over again to do something (I guess that's nagging), but even something like repeating instructions several times. I don't know, maybe it's my EL background, I want to make sure the students understand what they have to do, and when they're just staring at me with a blank face, I tend to explain it from a different angle.
    It turns out they understand my English with accent just fine, they might just need more time to process the information.

    I'm working hard not to sound frustrated, that give students the ammo they need: they figure out what gets to me, and will use it against me. I don't think I'm too bad, but definitely need to work on everything.
     
  16. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,841
    Likes Received:
    51

    Jan 25, 2014

    I guess I don't see an issue with talking in a frustrated/irritated manner with students. I never yell, but if a kid is frustrating me I'll let them know it. It never turns into a conversation, I'll usually tell the kid to see me after class if they have an issue, but they'll know I'm upset. I'm happy-go-lucky 90% of the time, so when they see me upset I think it affects them and puts them back on track.
     
  17. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    Jan 25, 2014

    This is something I need to work on. We've been in school for 88 days, yet I feel like I have to explain everything thoroughly. I think I need to assume they know it by now, and re-teach if I find out that they don't.
     
  18. yellowdaisies

    yellowdaisies Fanatic

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2011
    Messages:
    2,653
    Likes Received:
    233

    Jan 25, 2014

    I teach first, too, and I can relate to what you're saying. I have a very chatty, active class this year (last year's class was super different in personality), and I find myself getting frustrated sometimes. I love the suggestions on here. What I personally try to do when I start getting annoyed with certain kids or a group of kids is focusing on and rewarding the kids who are doing the RIGHT thing. In my class, there are always at least a couple who are. It helps me remember that there are some who ARE doing what they're supposed to do, which calms me down. It also tends to get the other kids in line too, because first graders are eager to please. I have a few very needy kids who want my attention ALL the time this year (I am in a low income area, too - not sure if that's why this is happening, but I believe it contributes), and I really have to give LOTS of attention for positive behaviors so the kids who act out negatively for attention realize they need to change their tactic in order to get more attention. It actually worked with one of my more challenging boys just this week. He discovered (finally) that he likes positive attention more than negative, and he's become a great model of behavior almost overnight. I'm making sure to praise him all over the place so this trend continues!
     
  19. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    3,061
    Likes Received:
    538

    Jan 25, 2014

    Have him model the 'right way' for the class - make him an 'expert' for the rest to look to when they are unsure. This really turned one of mine around!
     
  20. brigidy

    brigidy Comrade

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2006
    Messages:
    391
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jan 25, 2014

    I don't raise my voice to my students in anger or frustration. I usually get quiet, move their name on the clip chart without speaking and go in with my lesson. They already know the rules and consequences. I have never understood the yelling, it seems counterproductive to me. I just make sure I keep up with the clip chart, if I slack on moving up the good behaviors or moving down the disobedient behaviors... my management system will fall apart and I have to start all over.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. TamiJ,
  2. sevenplus,
  3. futuremathsprof,
  4. Backroads,
  5. agdamity
Total: 351 (members: 8, guests: 322, robots: 21)
test