How would you take this?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by AHS_Fan, Sep 27, 2013.

  1. AHS_Fan

    AHS_Fan Rookie

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    Sep 27, 2013

    Scenario:

    A teacher has been standoffish towards me since day one. Teacher starts being friendly with me. Teacher then asks if I know of a particular resource to help with reading. I share resource and train teacher on how to use it.

    A few days pass. Teacher sends out mass email sharing said teacher's "discovery" on this resource and how teacher would love to train people on it. Principal then replies with a mass email praising teacher and saying we should all take heed from this teacher's example.

    Teacher has gone back to being unfriendly.

    tl;dr:
    Colleague essentially takes resource I shared and takes credit for it.

    How would you feel? I don't have a problem with the teacher sharing the resource or wanting to train people on it. I just think the proper etiquette/decent thing to do would be to say "I found this great resource from ________ and wanted to share it with everyone" instead of "I discovered this great resource.."
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Sep 27, 2013

    Email to colleage, cc P...I've been using such resource for x years. I'm so glad that you are finding what I shared with you to be useful. Please let me know if I can help you with any other questions.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Pisses me off just reading it.
     
  5. AHS_Fan

    AHS_Fan Rookie

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    Wow! That's a really good idea. Thank you!
     
  6. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    While I might be angry, I wouldn't say or do anything. It's not my personality and not worth it, IMO.
     
  7. AHS_Fan

    AHS_Fan Rookie

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    Very true. Being that it's the weekend, I'll probably just let it go.

    It just sucks because now I know I can't really trust this person. And I was so happy that we were starting to have a friendly relationship.
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I think this woman is a manipulative, deceitful individual...and sometimes it does wonders to call such people out on it if for no other reason to prevent yourself from being taken advantage of again. I avoid confrontation, but this might push me to send that email. It wouldn't be wrong of me to do so, just as it wouldn't be wrong or petty or catty of you to do so. You could take the direct approach (I didn't appreciate that...), but I would likely send something more along the lines of what cza wrote. It's still honest from your end.
     
  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Yup, reply to everyone saying you are so glad that YOUR resource helped her!! What a &%)@(&)%@&)@&
     
  10. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    This teacher clearly is not honest and doesn´t sound like someone I would want as a close friend.
     
  11. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Send her an email and CC the P.
     
  12. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Perfect
     
  13. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I'm sorry that this teacher did this. I agree with czacza. Send that email.
     
  14. bek3

    bek3 Rookie

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    I would say this, but I would be tempted to send it "reply all".
     
  15. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oh, I would FOR SURE reply all (if I did decide to respond at all...I feel it makes good sense to reply to all.)
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2013
  16. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Why? What's the purpose of this?

    Maybe its just my personality and the fact that I don't like credit/recognition for things; but, while I would not even bother to email the P about this, I would NEVER email the entire staff about this.

    If you have already emailed Admin saying it was your resource first and thus embarrassed your colleague - why the need to tell the entire staff? What is the purpose of this other than to discredit your co-worker in front of everyone because they stole your idea?
     
  17. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    All teachers were sent the link. All teachers were sent an email from the principal telling them to follow the manipulative, lying teacher's lead. Might as well reply to all. The OP hasn't yet replied to just the principal...
     
  18. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    I guess I just think it seems vindictive to embarrass her in front of the entire staff.

    Personally, I don't like those teachers who need credit and recognition for everything they do; they tend to also be the Admin "suck ups" who sell people out to make themselves look better.
     
  19. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    It was vindictive of the coworker to only become friendly towards her when she needed something and then once she got it go back to being unfriendly. It was more vindictive of that same teacher to email the staff taking credit for this resource and getting undeserved praise from the principal. I don't think the OP is a teacher that needs recognition for every little resource she comes up with/finds nor do I think she's an admin suck up, but this would make me mad as well. I'm not a confrontational person either, but I wouldn't hesitate to email the co worker and CC the principal.
     
  20. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    You are entitled to feel that way, of course.

    I most certainly do not crave or fight for credit for everything I do. But in this case, the OP was wronged. It's okay to make it right.
     
  21. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    I do feel for your situation. This must be difficult dealing with someone like this. As tempting as it might be, I wouldn't involve the rest of the staff or VP on this one quite yet. I would try to handle it yourself as privately as possible.
     
  22. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    I wouldn't email the whole staff either (although I'd certainly make sure my teammates knew exactly what happened), but I see no problem sending an email to the person and the principal. "I'm glad you like the resource, let me know if you need any more information about it!" would accomplish everything you needed while still coming across as professional and helpful.
     
  23. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    I would feel like I wanted NOTHING to do with this person ever again. Users have no place in my life. But, first I'd do a "reply all" and type, "So glad you liked the resource I trained you on. Glad you can share it with others."
     
  24. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I totally agree.
     
  25. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    Wow, there are some really immature "professionals" on this message board :(
     
  26. TeachingNTX

    TeachingNTX Rookie

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    I agree!
     
  27. AHS_Fan

    AHS_Fan Rookie

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    I appreciate everyone's responses. The people here rock! :thumb:

    Still haven't replied to the email yet. Honestly, I'm not sure I am at this point. It is tempting to "reply all." However, I don't really want to involve everyone in this. I really just want the teacher to know how I feel.

    I was also just curious if I was justified in feeling miffed about this. I just feel better already knowing I'm not alone in my feelings and that I'm not just being silly.
     
  28. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    The teacher already knows how you feel; avoid him/her (why is everyone assuming it's a "her," by the way) from here on out.

    The people telling you that retaliation is the best course of action are, in my opinion, of course, sorry excuses for "professionals." This is the type of behavior you model for your students day in and day out?
     
  29. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I guess I am with the minority on this. If this had happened to me (and it did on one occasion), I would confront the stealing teacher.

    When it happened to me I marched right up to the teacher and wasn't very nice to her. I said something along the lines of "How dare you pull that stunt! If you EVER try this again I will be sure to let the admin and every teacher know how dishonest you are."

    My feeling is that this teacher must be really insecure to have to go to such lengths to receive accolades from everyone.

    At least now you know where you stand with her. Eventually her deeds will catch up to her.
     
  30. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Happens to me every time I share with one particular teacher. Same as you - other teacher gets resources from me, then sends them out department wide, taking all the credit for it. Final straw was when I shared something, other teacher took it and used it for their eval observation. Got lots of praise and high markup. No mention of me. Only found out about it because my AP shared it with me, because she thought I'd like it. I flipped out in my AP's office... since it was the exact plan I had wanted to use for MY eval observation. And the other teacher knew that.

    So, I stopped sharing. Like, for years, have guarded my stuff with a freakish fervor from that other teacher. My AP was cool with me not sharing, since she witnessed everything. But then something I shared last week with my mentee made it into that other teacher's hands.

    Guess what I got in an email Friday? :banghead:
     
  31. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Guess I'm a sorry excuse then. :rolleyes:
     
  32. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I sometimes wish this site had the rep system some forums have. Know what I'm talking about?
     
  33. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    You'd punish a student for vengeful, "get even" behavior. Why do you think it's acceptable when you're getting paid to act like a professional?
     
  34. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    I know exactly what you mean; people's reputations for acting like spiteful, petty children when they're supposed to be representing the profession that I love would be noted.
     
  35. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    This is not about "getting even". This is about righting a wrong.

    If my student's essay was stolen and turned in by another student claiming it, I would right that situation as well.
     
  36. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Maybe we should recommend it to the site owner. Actually, I always thought they were a little tacky before...but maybe there is a real use from them.
     
  37. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    "If a student insults me, it's okay to insult him back."

    That's your attitude. It's sad and pathetic. Suck it up and stop collaborating with that particular teacher. It's really that simple. Broadcasting to the entire school in some pathetic, snarky, unprofessional e-mail that "he/she didn't give me credit for my work" in an effort to discredit the teacher to the entire school is just plain unacceptable and would reflect more poorly on you than it would him/her.
     
  38. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Yes, I am sad and pathetic. :rolleyes:

    Done. (With you, I mean.)
     
  39. dave1mo

    dave1mo Comrade

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    I said your attitude was sad and pathetic; I'm a professional enough teacher to know that when criticisms are leveled, they should be against the behavior, not the person.

    This type of petty politicking and vengeful behavior is unbecoming for a profession that should be above that nonsense. I'm starting to realize why teaching is not seen as a profession, and it's a huge disappointment.
     
  40. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    This is what I wanted to say.

    Last year, my MS team was trying to find some funding for a trip. After a week or two of us searching, one teacher contacted a museum downtown and got them to agree to give us a free bus since we are a Title 1 school. It was all on her, yet another teacher took credit for it when we presented the trip to Admin at a staff meeting. The second teacher stood up and said, "I called the museum and got us a free bus ... if any other teachers are looking for trips with free buses, let me know ..." So, the teacher who actually booked the trip called out, "well, I was the one who actually contacted and planned the trip. If you have any questions about it, speak to me."

    It was awkward and they both looked foolish and childish.
     
  41. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

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    The way I would handle this is to first attribute positive intent to the offending teacher. By that I mean, I would realize that she did this because she doesn't know how to get the approval and recognition from others that she so desperately wants. She is using grossly inappropriate ways to get that approval, and is probably "stuck" in this pattern and feeling miserable with her life.

    Does that excuse her? No. Does it make me more empathetic towards her? Yes.

    My empathy is what will move this situation forward for both me and her.

    Then, with that empathy in mind, I would speak to her about it. I would say something along the lines of, "When you told the staff that you discovered this resource, it surprised me. I felt hurt that you did not acknowledge that I trained you on this."


    At that point, she might be embarrassed. Or she might get defensive. I would listen to her. Then I might say, "It's not okay to do that. If you want others to help you, you need to acknowledge them."

    And then I would leave, letting her process what I said.

    How does this help me? I let her know how I felt. I wasn't vindictive or angry about it. I didn't keep my feelings to myself and stew about it. I understood where she was coming from, but let her know that it wasn't okay.

    How does this help her? She now knows how I feel. I showed her in a dignified way how to let someone know that they have stepped over the line. I also gave her information about what she needs to do when someone goes out of their way to help her. She may not act on any of this. But I put it out there for her.

    This is also how I would want my students to handle a situation like this. While telling someone how you feel doesn't "fix" everything, it is a very powerful communication that carries great weight. I have found that my students discover this also when they do it.
     

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