how would you feel?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by bonneb, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    How would you feel if a professional friend offered you counseling for weight loss? AND asked you to refer your friends who might want to lose weight to him?

    I am stunned.

    What do you do, go to your fat friends and say "This guy can help you lose weight."

    I have handled a TON of awkward (sp) situations but this has me stumped.

    Ignore? Then the person thinks you are rude (background I can't include). Refer people? Then you are being rude to your friends. Tell the truth to this person? "I would hurt feelings if I referred people to you so they could lose weight."

    Whywhywhy - why do people with good intentions NOT understand you can't lead a horse to water OR make him drink.

    This is stressing me out because of circumstances I can't even share here. So I guess I am asking y'all a question without all the info. PM me if you are really interested. Tough day today. Not processing well. Thank you all.
     
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  3. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Jul 3, 2011

    I guess the best thing you can do is to answer, "No, thanks for your offer, but I've got the philosophy that people don't want to deal with their health issues in a social setting. I personally deal with a doctor for anything diet related. Thanks anyway."
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Someone who works at my school that I had literally never talked to before (the opportunity just never came up, we weren't intentionally avoiding each other or anything) approached me in the mail room and told me about a "weight loss opportunity" that she knew I'd be just perfect for. Like you, I was stunned. I get it that I'm a chub, but I felt that her offer wasn't as helpful as she must have intended--it was actually pretty hurtful. I just smiled and said no thank you.

    :hugs:
     
  5. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    This is actually a health care professional, from a different culture. Does not understand that this can be a painful issue. eeergh! Why me?

    I feel I have to tell the truth, that this is not the way to approach overweight America. But I know for certain that if I did that, it would end the tenuous relationship. No win. And it affects my husband's job of all things.

    Just looking for a shoulder to cry on I guess. Not for me, but for the situation - why am I always in the middle of stuff I never wanted to touch with a ten foot pole?
     
  6. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    I would just say I don't feel comfortable doing so.
     
  7. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I would say something to the effect of, "I know your intentions are good, but weight is a very sensitive subject. If any of my friends ever ask me if I know anybody who can help, I will be sure to mention you, but it would be too awkward and potentially hurtful to bring it up first."
     
  8. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Thanks mmswm, you gave me some good thoughts.
     
  9. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Jul 3, 2011

    I would tell them about an amazing device that I plug into my cigarette lighter and it improves my gas mileage by 10%.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I would say exactly what mm has suggested!
     
  11. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    What Sarge?? I am slow today so please be patient and SPELL IT OUT!
     
  12. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Another thread today.

    I am assuming the person is selling one of those products where they have to get other people to start selling it and that come close to being a pyramid scheme.

    So the joke was to refer to another scam.

    You're not slow. Sometimes I even my jokes don't exactly hit the target.
     
  13. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    I would tell her that you put the word out, but no takers. That is the truth, you told all of us.
     
  14. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Good one Blue! And Sarge, you are frequently funny and enlightening. Tell your wife I said so.

    Y'all gave me some good tips which I will use. It just bothers me that I can't just tell the truth - you don't approach overweight people and tell them you can help them.

    I do not think it is a scam. This person is a holistic health professional, and probably has a great idea. But it is not the way to approach. If I don't take the bait, I am sunk. If I do, I am also sunk.

    Basically, today not a good day to make decisions. Tomorrow, the great Fourth of July. Maybe I will declare my independence from being a middle person!
     
  15. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Bonneb, one of the reasons I would say something to the effect of what I wrote is because it *does* mention that bringing up people's weight can be insensitive and hurtful, without being direct and without being hurtful yourself.
     
  16. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    QUOTE=mmswm;1467874]I would say something to the effect of, "I know your intentions are good, but weight is a very sensitive subject. If any of my friends ever ask me if I know anybody who can help, I will be sure to mention you, but it would be too awkward and potentially hurtful to bring it up first."[/QUOTE]

    :yeahthat:
     
  17. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jul 4, 2011

    I'd simply say one of these, end of story:

    Thank you, but I'm not interested at this time & no one I know is either.

    OR

    Thank you & if my friends or I want to do this, I'll let you know.
     
  18. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    Jul 4, 2011

    bwahahahahahahahaha




    me: "uh.....no thanks."
     
  19. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    :spitwater:
     
  20. eddygirl

    eddygirl Companion

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    How about just telling him, "Give me a couple of your cards. If someone I know mentions wanting help to lose weight, I will give him/her your card."

    I also have a few pounds to lose and have found myself put off by people with "kind" but unsolicited suggestions. However, if I initiated the discussion, I would not be offended if someone offered me the card of a professional.
     
  21. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    SARGE! Bahahaha.
     
  22. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    I guess it would depend if I talked about losing weight in front of this person. If the person had heard me lamenting over my weight and watched me go on countless diets, I would probably be fine with the thought. If I did not feel comfortable with the idea, I would just say. I appreciate the offer, but I am doing my own thing. As for recommending others ~ I just don't recommend my friends for things like this. But, thanks. KEEP IT SIMPLE. :cool:
     

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