How to respond

Discussion in 'General Education' started by kburen, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. kburen

    kburen Cohort

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    Mar 11, 2008

    Background: I have a 5/6 year old child in my class who doesn't listen for anything. He's smart as a whip and is getting out of Kindergarten with NO problems. The only issues are his listening (or lack there of) and yelling out. So...I want to know....How do you respond to this situation:

    He was in time out today (a few minutes off centers) for calling out and not listening and says "Ms. B.....you wanna know why I don't listen?" I told him "Yes...I really would like to know!" He says "Because I don't like you.....I want a boy teacher....." All I did was tell him that wasn't gonig to happen right now. How do you deal with that? He lives with mom and grandma and dad is active in his life so it's not like there isn't a male figure there....
     
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  3. Teachling

    Teachling Groupie

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    Mar 11, 2008

    How about adding some humor? Like for instance, coming in one day with a hat & fake mustache. Trying making it a point of praising him when he does behave. From what I've seen & my own experience, at that age you have kids that either want to please or the ones that want to outsmart you. I know it's not easy. You have my simpathy.
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Is he hispanic? I know in that culture the men believe (and therefore teach their sons) that women shouldn't necessarily be working. I had a boy like this in my kinder class 2 years ago, and mom let me know that that was the reason he was probably acting out like that.
     
  5. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

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    I had this issue, but much worse: The kid was defiant and belligerent, and refused to respect the mere fact that I am the teacher simply because I am a woman. He had only male teachers in the past, and still has some, and there was a cultural factor as well.

    I responded by treating his misbehaviors just like any other, and eventually he realized that I'm the teacher whether he likes it or not. The principal and parents backed me up on this. Eventually he shut up long enough to realize that I'm not that bad ;) I still have issues with him, but it's less personal and he's definitely warmed up a lot.

    Personally, I think the way to deal with this is by showing him who's boss through clear consequences for both positive and negative behaviors. Whether you like the teacher or not, you need to listen. If he doesn't understand that, make it worthwhile for him to do it.
     
  6. kburen

    kburen Cohort

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    Interesting points :) He is not hispanic, and I know his "reasoning" isn't cultural. He's a very smart child...but i'm not sure he completely understood what he said. I'm not trying to stick up for him, so please don't take it that way! I just have a hard time believing that he doesn't "like" me when he's contantly giving hugs and saying that he likes me. I think maybe he doesn't like having a female teacher? I think he had a female teacher in pre-school as well.....and the only male teacher he's ever even spoken to is the ONE male teacher in my school (1st grade).

    I talked to another teacher about it after school. She was his teacher to begin with this year (I was pulled in to teach K at the last minute and didn't get my class until day 4 of school). She thinks that maybe he's heard mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa say "you wouldnt behave that way if you had a man teacher" or something along those lines. He definatly behaves differently for each of his family members....I think behaving the best for dad. I don't know. The other teacher says I handled it the best way I could with just letting him know that can't happen, he's stuck with me.
     
  7. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

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    If he's been showing you affection all along, I can't imagine that he deeply meant what he said. I wouldn't take that particular comment too seriously if you don't see other indications of it.
     
  8. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Maybe dad is the disciplinarian? Mom might just wait until dad comes around to hand out punishment.
     
  9. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Mar 11, 2008

    He's a smart kid. That's for sure. He knows what he's doing and how to push buttons.

    I think you should ask him what a boy teacher could do? See wht he says... then engage him in those things.
     
  10. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Mar 12, 2008

    I think you answered just right. Kids take a long time to learn the lesson that "you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit." Lots of what happens in life is just what IS, and there are lots of things we have no control over - we have to learn that it is what it is, and better deal with it.
     
  11. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Mar 13, 2008

    Well said. He's old enough to learn that you don't always get what you want. That's life. Have you talked with his mom?
     
  12. Dawnathome

    Dawnathome Rookie

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    Mar 15, 2008

    This is probably a long shot, but are you sure he hasn't got a hearing problem?
     

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