How to Quit Midyear

Discussion in 'General Education' started by bts831, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. bts831

    bts831 Rookie

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    Feb 17, 2016

    Hello!

    I currently teach 7th grade at a low poverty school. I went here in 8th grade and don't remember it being this bad. I got a degree in biology in 2014, and never wanted to teach. My mom, however, has taught and worked as a curriculum writer for the city for the past 14 or so years. I graduated and worked as a tech and in a lab until I knew what I wanted to do, but this wasn't good enough, so she got me a job interview and told me I had to go because she stuck her neck out to get it for me. They offered me a job, even though I have never taken a teaching course in my life. Because I lived with her at the time and I was threatened with being disowned and getting kicked out if I didn't accept, I accepted it. The principal was new, I was new, and all other 7th grade teachers in my subject were new.
    SInce then, I have kids who tell me to f--- off, shut the f--- off, who tell me they hope I crash my car on the way home, who threaten me, telling me they'll "get me" or I'll be sorry I messed with them. They steal my things, scream at me when I move them for cheating and call me a racist, and stress me out terribly. They scream, there's a fight everyday, they yell about their imagined sex-capades across the room, and tell me they're going to get me fired (which they have filed false reports with the principal about). I don't sleep through the night anymore, I have panic attacks daily, I'm gaining weight, I'm short, I sit at work and just dwell on how unhappy I am. I usually hope I get in a car crash on the way to work. I've been sick with the same cold turned to sinus infection turned to cold for the past two months, I'm always sick. My hair is falling out. It's not worth it and I hate every second of it. I didn't want to teach, but took the job because of ridiculous family pressure, but thought I might like it, and now hate it. My doctor has me on different anti-depressants and anxiety meds now, and offered to write me a note for the next 2 weeks while we wait to see how they work, but I declined, because the last time I used a substitute for 2 days straight, all my drawers were opened and rummaged through, things were missing, and the room was a wreck with candy and food all over the place stuck to the tables.

    I have a job offer working at another doctor's office, which I would stay at until fall when I go back to college full time for a second degree in engineering. I can't take the advice "Leave, your mother loves you and will understand," because it's not like that at all. I tell her I want to quit and she tells me no, it will embarass her, and that I may as well never go back to her house or see her again. However, I am currently living with my boyfriend, and plan to stay put with him, so that's not the option. Even as I write this, they are throwing things across the room screaming. I write referrals, nothing happens. Suspensions happen, but they come back and do it again. I make phone calls, nothing. I call security when kids yell at me and circle the room for 20 minutes and go through my things but NO ONE shows up half the time. No one listens to a thing I say, I say move seats, they say no, I tell them again, and they tell me they heard me but no. The administration doesn't help, and my doctor would more than happily write a note saying I need to be let out of contract without repercussion for medical reasons.

    The problem is I would feel bad about making my mom mad, but life is short and I am wasting over 1% of it at a terrible, dangerous school where I hate every moment I am here. Everyone says to quit but her, and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm wheeled out of here on a stretcher the way these kids act.
     
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  3. artbrarian

    artbrarian Rookie

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    Feb 17, 2016

    Your mom put you in a bad position and an unfair one. If you're not meant for teaching then you shouldn't be putting yourself through it. Some people are cut for dealing with a class like you describe, but not everyone is.

    There is NO SHAME in walking away from a toxic situation. Your health is suffering and this is unacceptable.

    If your heart isn't in what you do, then you are doing a disservice to yourself, the school, and the kids. And as an educator your mother should know that and care more about that than her reputation.

    I say walk away and don't look back.
     
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  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Feb 17, 2016

    Your mom isn't thinking about your best interests, sadly. Your health is being affected, ths isn't the career you wanted and this situation will not get better. You have a job offer doing something more related to what you really want to do. Accept the doctors office position, put your letter of resignation in and let it go. Your mom will accept your decision or she won't, but you can't let fear of what she will say have power over the decisions you make for yourself and your well-being. Good luck to you. Be well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
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  5. bts831

    bts831 Rookie

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    I've been told my teachers, the principal, guidance, VP, and the specialists from the city each time that I'm not the problem they are out of control. Turn over rate is crazy high here. One other new teacher left after Christmas break for a new job, when students were calling her a b----, jumping on tables, etc.
     
  6. miatorres

    miatorres Comrade

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    Feb 17, 2016

    If I were in your situation, I would accept the doctor's office position offer and then leave the school. When I first taught language arts and history in extremely troubled schools (grades 6-9), I noticed right away that the counselors and administrators who taught many years ago at those schools weren't aware that those student populations have changed for the worse and thus didn't know what most teachers had to go through. The only teachers who had good experiences were those who only taught the tiny classes comprised of high achievers. Another element was that those in office roles taught before the standardized testing frenzy occurred and therefore did not know that teaching has become much more demanding compared to their own teaching days. Best of luck to you and take care.
     
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  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Feb 17, 2016

    If I was in your shoes, I would accept the doctor's office position, focus on your college coursework, and try to accept whatever your mom's attitude is towards your resignation.
     
  8. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Feb 17, 2016

    If you don't want to teach, leave. Most people who ask about leaving mid-year fear losing their credentials. If you have no interest in teaching, that is not your major concern, is it? My priorities would be to insure that I was walking into a job that could sustain me should I find myself totally alone. If this is a job offer that will get you out of the classroom, but not provide enough income to be totally self-sufficient, then I would look some more. You may be with your boyfriend for life, or it could be over in a few months. Should the worst case scenario become a reality, would you be forced to live under your mother's roof once more?

    Will you be able to pay your own way as you return to college in the fall, or will you have enough funds to support yourself and pay tuition? Are you planning to become a full time student, which can be pricey, or take a course a semester instead?

    Your mom pushed you into her world because she obviously feels the paychecks exceed the stress. That is an individual assessment. What it tells me is that she wants you to have success in your life. I would never get into the dynamics of a mother and daughter at war, so will end here.

    The leaving isn't the hard part - that comes when you weigh all pros and cons and look at them objectively. Good luck.
     
  9. miatorres

    miatorres Comrade

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    Feb 17, 2016

    vickilyn reminded me of the issue of how most people who ask about leaving mid-year are worried about losing their teaching credentials. Even if this might not be bts831's major concern, I can see how losing credentials can be a hurdle to the next job or graduate school even for credential holders who never want to work in a classroom setting again. If a credential is revoked, a future potential employer or graduate school admissions panel may find out because it is a public record.

    With that being said, If I were in bts831's situation I would find out from a union rep if human resources can work something out with me so I can resign without having my credentials revoked. Although first and second year teachers usually don't the same union benefits as those with tenure, some union reps are still willing to advise first and second year teacher with concerns like these. If I worked in a nonunion school or state, I would go directly to human resources and ask if we can work something out.
     
  10. artbrarian

    artbrarian Rookie

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    Feb 17, 2016

    OP, I'm not saying you are the problem. In-fact I know all to well the situation you are in. The school I am at has the same situation going on only in 4th grade.
    What I'm saying is that there are some people who live for the challenge of that kind of a classroom, and some that want nothing to do with it. There's nothing wrong with being the latter.
    I have seen numerous teachers walk out not to return from the room across from mine. And from dealing with that class 45 minutes every 3 days, I don't blame them.
    And so this is what I meant that some are cut for it. Cut from a cloth.
    As far as saying teaching is not for you, you said that teaching is not where you wanted to be.
    I meant no offense and hope you can understand me better.
    You deserve to be somewhere that gives you fulfillment without overwhelming you with stress.
     
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  11. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Feb 17, 2016

    Would your mom go with you to the doctor so she can hear how your health is being affected?
     
  12. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Feb 17, 2016

    Time to put yourself first. You need to get out of that toxic situation before your health is permanently damaged. First, take everything home that belongs to you, then go get that dr notice to take the next two weeks off, and then leave that day and go get that new job.
    I don't recall if you said you even have certificate, so that won't be a problem. When HR asks why you are leaving, be honest.
    And don't look back...
     
  13. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

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    Feb 17, 2016

    If your mom cares more about her reputation than about you, so be it.

    And I'd tell her as much.
     
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  14. miatorres

    miatorres Comrade

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    Feb 17, 2016

    The OP mentioned that all of the administrators acknowledge that the problem is the students themselves and not the teachers. At least the administrators are honest.

    I always believed that any administrator or parent who blamed teachers for students' violent behaviors had a lot of nerve to point the finger at the teachers.

    This is just one example of how insufferable the parents and students were at one of my former schools. At this 6-8 middle school, I made several attempts to notify parents that their 6th grade kids were 20 minutes late to class without a written excuse from the office and that their kids curse at me when I asked them why they were late. Only two parents would answer the phone and speak to me. The first justified her daughter's tardiness by saying that the girl has to talk to her boyfriend during passing periods. As for missing valuable learning time, the parent said that her family doesn't care about learning or grades anyway. The other parent justified her son's delinquency by saying that he has been jumped into a street gang and has to talk to his "brothers" during passing periods. Again, she said that it doesn't matter if he misses class time because grades don't mean anything to either of them. For crying out loud, these kids are 11 and 12 years old and yet their parents actually encourage them to have boyfriends/girlfriends and to join gangs.

    Kids who blame teachers for bad attitudes and "F" grades just don't want to take responsibility for their own bad choices and lack of ability. Anyone can make up an excuse when they're looking for one.

    I am tremendously happy now that I have switched to another school. Chances are good that the OP will likewise be happy once she moves on.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2016
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  15. bts831

    bts831 Rookie

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    Thank you all so much for your support. Today is my birthday, my stepdad's as well (guess who gets chosen over since my high school years), so I am trying not to let the student's backtalk and negativity affect me, but 12 year olds are nasty. Anyone who says tough it out must not be around them much, just because they're young doesn't mean when they call you a disugsting 2 who will be alone forever that it doesn't borher you a little.

    I feel like I would have at least enjoyed this year if I was at a better disciplined school. The prinicpal watched my biggest trouble maker backtalk me, fuss at me, and drag her feet through my room to get her belongings, and didn't say a word, just put her in another class. They aren't being told they're wrong or rude, they're barely being punished. I have kids throw things across the room then leave class, and all the admin says to do is call the parent, and that I write too many referrals, when I literally have to write the same child up all the time for walking out or skipping class. One told me to suck his dotdotdot, one day of ISS. Beginning of the year I had a kid push me in my chest and tell me to get the f out of his way. I'm glad my doctor is helping with my mental health, but there's nothing that can fix having to be here. My interview is tomorrow, I'm hoping it goes well. That way, I can at least continue to work part time while getting another degree.

    I have a provisional license, so I have within the 3 years to take the other praxis and get the classes for certification. But this place is not what I want. I told myself I would stay for my good students, but it's literally making my heart hurt having to be in this school.
     
  16. artbrarian

    artbrarian Rookie

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    Don't put yourself through that abuse. Nothing can hurt more than lack of support. It sounds like your school has a serious case of pass the buck syndrome. Nothing you can bring to the table will fix that.
    Good luck on your interview. :twohearts:
     
  17. bts831

    bts831 Rookie

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    It might also matter, I have a tic disorder. Because of this place now I spasm like crazy. At this point I think I'm just trying to convince myself to resign. I've never been a quitter at anything, and I don't want to be viewed as such or weak.
     
  18. artbrarian

    artbrarian Rookie

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    You're not quitting the job, the job is failing you. Your admin should be supporting and helping you succeed. As a first year teacher they should be offering you PD and support if they think you need help with your management.
    Teaching is a job that involves sacrifice but not to the point that it destroys us, as the good is supposed to outweigh the bad.
    When the bad is so heavy that we're crushed under the weight, it's time to grab a crowbar and get the heck out of there.
     
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  19. NOLATeach

    NOLATeach Rookie

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    I feel so bad for you... You shouldn't be so miserable. I wish you nothing but the best.
     
  20. NOLATeach

    NOLATeach Rookie

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    Well said!
     
  21. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    As the mom of two young adults, it saddens (and maddens) me that your mom has put you and the school in this situation. As a teacher, she should realize that an untrained teacher in a challenging class is a recipe for disaster. You are unhappy; your health is being affected; the students aren't learning as they should. You need to take care of yourself and get out of the toxic situation your mom has put you in. Hopefully, she won't continue to make this about her ego.
     
  22. miatorres

    miatorres Comrade

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    bts831, based on your description of yourself and your teaching situation, I don't believe that you are a quitter in any respect at all. On the contrary, it is admirable that you gave the school and students numerous fair chances. I would like to reiterate what NOLA teach said about how the job is failing you. The administration should be supporting you.

    I must also comment on the issue of students not learning as they should. As a classroom teacher who has taught for over 10 years combined in highly troubled middle and high schools, I have experienced enough to safely say that many students there don't want to learn nor does it matter to their parents if their children learn. Several students also have low IQs AND EQs. I am convinced that students who do want to learn will learn and succeed in any environment. Why? Because I have met several adults who came from completely unsupportive homes or were homeless and went to dangerous schools; yet they run circles around most people. These successful individuals have told me that they are living proof that if kids want to learn, they will learn no matter where they go to school.
     
  23. Expo Markers

    Expo Markers Rookie

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    I'd run from that so fast that the pavement would catch on fire.

    Honestly, though- your mom has no right to antagonize you over leaving a toxic exercise in futility. I left my family (although truthfully I didn't have much of a vote), and although it's been hard, I'm a lot happier for it. My inbox is always open if you want to talk about family stuff.
     
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  24. artbrarian

    artbrarian Rookie

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  25. bts831

    bts831 Rookie

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    Just thinking of the 5 or so good kids I'd be leaving makes me want to cry, but I know I won't be seeing them after this year anyway. I feel like I'm letting people down and look weak and pitiful and it's tearing me apart in so many directions I don't know what to do. Just this morning, kids were chasing each other, screaming at each other, would not stop talking, one cursed at me then said its ok because the word is in the Bible. And that was just one bell.
     
  26. artbrarian

    artbrarian Rookie

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    People are going to think what they want to think. If the school really has the turn around that it does, smart people will see that the teachers leaving aren't the problem here and that it's not because of a weakness on your part.

    The best I can say is that when you know it's your last day, tell all the kids that you're leaving because you got a job somewhere else that fits your schedule better. You wish for them that the rest of their year is a good one and that some day you read their names in the paper or see them on the news doing great things.
    You may only mean it for 5 or so, but it could resonate with someone that you don't realize.

    Even a brief moment of confidence can change a kid for the better.
     

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