How to not feel guilty about leaving.

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by rachhnoelle, Jan 8, 2021.

  1. rachhnoelle

    rachhnoelle New Member

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    Jan 8, 2021

    Jan 15th is my last day in my current position. Aside from a para and next door teacher that I love I am leaving a horrible situation. I am going to a new district, a new school and new kids. The new staff has made me feel so welcome and I know there's a lot of work to be done in my new classroom.

    What is the best way to start there and not worry about what's happening in my old room? I know it's not my problem, but I want to make sure I give my new room and school and kids my entire self.

    People are also advising me to take some sick days this week since I'm not comfortable about being back in person and there's nothing they can do. But, my para is out all week so ofcourse I'd feel super guilty.
     
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  3. rpan

    rpan Cohort

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    Jan 9, 2021

    I can’t tell you how to stop feeling guilty. But you have to take care of yourself. You’ve made the decision to leave and if you’re not comfortable staying then you’re not. The right thing for yourself is not always the right thing for your students but you are your own best advocate: you have to trust that your students have their own advocate for them.
     
  4. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Jan 11, 2021

    You can't keep wasting energy thinking about the old job. Do you normally obsess over things or do people generally make you feel guilty? Don't let them!
     
  5. miss-m

    miss-m Groupie

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    Jan 11, 2021

    I'm also leaving an unhealthy situation - the 22nd is my last day. So I totally understand what you're feeling! Teachers are told constantly that leaving mid-year is basically the worst thing we could possibly do. "Think of the kids!" "Just stick it out till the end of the year!" My mental health this year has been terrible. I love teaching, but between COVID, the general state of the country right now, and a really overwhelming/toxic work environment... I've been a mess. I was able to get FMLA for the rest of the year, so thankfully I didn't have to resign mid-year, but it's still really tough.

    Guilt is tough. It's normal for you to care about your students and be a little anxious about what will happen after you leave, but remind yourself that you're leaving for a good reason. You can't help anyone if you're pouring from an empty cup, and if your work environment is the thing draining you, then it's not going to get better by staying or worrying or feeling guilty. It sucks to leave, but it happens.

    Not feeling guilty is easier said than done though. I've had the most luck with just telling myself, "This sucks, and I'm sorry it's going to be inconvenient for others, but I'm doing the right thing and staying won't help anyone." Staying in an unhealthy environment is just as bad as leaving mid-year. Personally, I know I've been super unmotivated to do my job well this year because it feels like there's no point with remote learning, but there's no way I'd be ready to go back in person without the vaccine. Staying and leaving both suck, but one option is healthier in the long run. The decision has been made, and if you're confident it's the right decision then stand by that and trust that you're doing the right thing, even if it's inconvenient for people or uncomfortable. Your kids will be ok. Your coworkers will be ok. Your school will carry on after you leave, and you'll be healthier and happier for it.
     
  6. whizkid

    whizkid Groupie

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    Jan 11, 2021

    Do what's best for you because only you is going to look out for you.
     
  7. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Jan 12, 2021

    Right. Do you think people will be thinking about your a week after you leave? They wont' have time for that and neither will you. none of us are irreplaceable.
     

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