How much should you share?

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Milsey, Aug 12, 2012.

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  1. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Aug 12, 2012

    I keep most things private. I give lots of vague answers like "old enough" or "that's not science related". When they guess anything I always say "yeah about that" or "maybe, maybe not", whether it's true or not.

    What they do know is-
    -my first name (here kids call teachers by first names, not my -favorite, but ya know.. when in Rome;))
    -where I'm from in the USA
    -that I was not necessarily a good student while in school
    -where I go on vacations
    -that I don't have kids
    -that I have a dog
    -that I was a swimmer
    -movies I like and dislike

    It's really like superficial stuff and that's about it. Some kids do know more because I see them in the dog park, so they know I have a boyfriend. Otherwise, I don't share much. My name on facebook is different than my real name so they can't find me.
     
  2. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Leaving aside the appropiateness of this, how does it come up in general conversation? I'll engage in some friendly banter with girls about clothes and makeup if they want, but that is limited and general. I'm not inviting them into my closet.

    My students know a good bit about me over the year, but mostly the superficial sort of things that help people relate to each other.

    They know I love my Harley, that I have parrots, and a nail polish addiction, and some of my favorite movies and music. They don't know very much of a personal nature--you can build an easy, friendly rapport without that.

    If a student asks me a personal question, I'll either deflect or answer in a general way if the question is innocent enough.

    Kids like to know a bit about us (and they should), but they are not our friends!
     
  3. SeñoritaM

    SeñoritaM Rookie

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    All my kids knew about me last year was my first name (on my badge and the phone list in each classroom), my age, and that I am obsessed with Harry Potter (I have a tattoo of a golden snitch on my ankle that's visible when I wear skirts) :lol:

    When they learned my age, it was because I was teaching them how to ask "How old are you?" in Spanish. Of course, at least one wise guy per class asked me. I answered truthfully, but in Spanish, and let them figure it out ;)
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I'm not sure why you quoted me. I can't imagine talking about my clothing size with students.
     
  5. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    I always forget that only one quote shows up. I was agreeing with your reaction to the OP.
     
  6. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    :lol: Okay. That was really the only forum-appropriate reaction I could come up with.
     
  7. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    That's why I quoted you! There was nothing else to say, really.
     
  8. msufan

    msufan Comrade

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    Aug 12, 2012

    Chiming in late... sharing clothing sizes made me LOL as well.

    "So anyway kids, I thought you might like to know I wear large shirts and pants with a 36" inseam." :dizzy::dizzy::dizzy:

    I think not.
     
  9. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    Your clothing size? :eek:hmy:

    Is your 6 year old daughter on facebook?? :eek:

    I think you may have told US too much! lol
     
  10. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I agree that clothing size is TOTALLY inappropriate. However, I wore a couple of outfits that both staff and students commented on that they liked and asked where I got them. I told them honestly and didn't think anything of it.

    But Milsey, I think you share far, far too much. I would never give details about my kids and I don't even have any! I'm always vague about where I live and that sort of thing.
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I also share my pants size. But not shoe size. That just kind of crosses the line. :rolleyes:

    But, seriously, my students know a lot about me. My full name, age, college information, family, interests, etc.
     
  12. roxstar

    roxstar Companion

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    Do you think working with the kids you do has made you extra cautious. Just curious.
     
  13. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    Aug 12, 2012

    My husband doesn't even know my pant size:)

    My students know a lot about me, but nothing that anyone else wouldn't find out about me if they spent 6 hours a day with me. Trival things, really.
     
  14. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Aug 12, 2012

    My classroom is unique because I have so much one-on-one time with my individual students. Some of them don't even bother to look up my picture in my teacher profile, let alone watch the video I have in there. Others reach out to me in a way that I am comfortable sharing my common experiences with them.

    A few of my formers students know that I repeated a grade in high school, because knowing that it is possible to overcome hard times and poor choices. Others know that I act and write in my spare time because we all need to find a way to express ourselves. One or two know that my finances are really tight and I share their struggles keeping myself in house and home sometimes.

    Having that personal bond is what makes me able to get my students to trust me.
     
  15. ciounoi

    ciounoi Cohort

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    Aug 12, 2012

    The kids I've taught (including the ones in jail) knew my name, about my husband, and the general area where I live. They also know that I llift heavy weights at the gym... I taught classes of mostly boys so they were interested in that. :) Aside from that stuff, I let them know me pretty well through my personality... it's kind of hard to hide my shortness, my sense of humor, and general weirdness. :)
     
  16. HWilson

    HWilson Comrade

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    Aug 12, 2012

    I got a prank call this summer I just couldn't figure out how they would have gotten it .... Well.....

    I was panicking one day thinking child A threw child B's textbook in the trash and child B's mom called very upset I let this happen (which I didn't). So I I mediately began calling child A's mom to have her speak with her child and find out where she put it (so I would know if I needed to go dumpster diving since the trash bins had already been emptied) and come to find out child B had it the whole time. But I was in complete panic mode and had to leave bc of other after school obligations so I continued to call the mom from my cell phone until she answered.

    The next day the student blurted my cell number out to the whole class (she memorized it) and thought it was very funny. I denied, denied, denied that was my number and told her she had it wrong. Then pulled her aside after class and spoke with her about it.

    So I did get a prank call this summer and this is the only way I can think anyone got my number. Oh and it was a typical middle school aged, immature, not knowing what they are doing type of call. :lol:

    I haven't had anymore and hope I don't. But I did learn my lesson to dial *67 prior to their number in the future! :rolleyes:
     
  17. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    I still don't understand the 6-year-old having facebook part.
     
  18. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I accidentally gave out my number to an entire class once. We were working on resumes and I gave them a copy of mine without bothering to black out my number. DUH. I got one prank call, which was actually just a weird call. I let my class know that the next time I received one it would be the police who would handle it. I've never gotten another since!
     
  19. teach'ntx

    teach'ntx Comrade

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    Aug 12, 2012

    My students know my whole name as it is on my name badge. They know I don't live too close to the school, I am married and have two little girls one of which swims during the summer.
    When they ask me my age, I explain it is not polite to ask a lady her weight or age.
    They also know I love all sports and my last class learned how addicted I am to the Olympics!!!!
     
  20. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    I don't think so. I'm not afraid of them, I'm pretty good at looking past the fact that they're locked up, to the point that I have to remind myself that they can be dangerous, they're manipulative and sneaky.
    But my personal information is really no asset to them. They would wanna find me on FB or have my phone number just for fun, but there's nothing they could do with me. I wouldn't help them sell drugs, hide or get guns, or whatever.

    Probation is really on the alert, in my opinion it's a little overkill (but I'm sure they know what they're doing and there's a reason).

    Probation's view is this:
    Kids will try to manipulate you, and set you up. It goes like this:
    identity -> sympathy -> guilt -> giving break -> doing favors
    During the identity phase they try to get as much as info as possible, so they can later show how the two of you are alike, which will be later used to get you to like them, feel bad for them, and then either just go easy on them or even do favors, depending on the teacher, how weak or strong they are.

    So the less info you give, the less chance they get to identify with you. Also they think if they're able to get info out of you, they already got you and will take it for weakness. So if i offer personal info, it has be voluntary, not them asking me, and I slip or give in.

    These guys are so interesting, I have been researching this and I find it fascinating.
    They constantly break the law and go around the rules, so they're already good at psychological games, but when they're locked up, they have nothing but time to perfect their skills and set baits for you.
     
  21. MsTeckel

    MsTeckel Comrade

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    Aug 12, 2012

    What I dont get is that the OP starts these type of threads with just off the wall information...and then never returns...
     
  22. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Is the OP a real person or just someone who likes to stir the pot...? Just sayin'.
     
  23. Jeky

    Jeky Comrade

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    Aug 12, 2012

    I was just going to post this exact thing!
     
  24. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Aug 12, 2012

    It could go either way at this point.

    I've worked with similar people though. They genuinely don't realize that they will get negative reactions. It never quite sinks in.

    I used to sub for a marketing teacher whose students called her by her first name. I did a long term job for her after she broke her ankle in several places when running down the hall in her Jimmy Choos (she was late for class). The stiletto snapped and she went sprawling and her bag contents flew down the hall. Her iPod was stolen. Her students loved her; they pooled and bought her a new, engraved iPod.
     
  25. live

    live Companion

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    I always wonder about the age thing.

    I look very young (when I subbed in middle schools I'd sometimes get asked if I was a new student), so it's inevitable that a student gasps, "How old ARE you?!" And I understand why.

    If another teacher overhears this, they usually tell the student how rude it is to ask a person's age. In this case, I usually just tell the student to add on 10 years to however old they think I am and then they'll probably be right.

    Otherwise, I have no problem telling students my age as long as we'd already developed a mutually respectful relationship. I do mention to the students that some people would take offense to being asked their age and to take caution.

    It seems like some teachers refuse to share their ages, while others don't care. In fact, I remember throwing my third grade teacher an over-the-hill surprise party when she turned 30.
     
  26. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Aug 12, 2012

    Same here. :unsure:
     
  27. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    SHE IS REAL! Or just really, really bored. :)

    I have done a little research and this isn't the only place she exists.
     
  28. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

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    My first year my students were dyingggggg to know my first name. I held off for awhile and finally gave in. When I told them one kid goes, "Okay so if that's your first name what's your last name??" The kids all looked at him funny and went "umm D_____" It was hysterical.

    My students knew my first name they knew were I lived (the county, they only know where it is because it's near a big mall they all shop at) I'm pretty sure I told them how many brothers and sisters I had, they've seen pictures of my dog. They knew where I went to college b/c it's right near the school. I'm pretty sure I eventually told them how old I am, they were dying to know that. That's about it. I don't have a set plan of what to share/what not to share. If they ask questions I'll answer if I'm comfortable answering. A popular one is "do you have a boyfriend???" I don't answer that one because like I tell them it really isn't any of their business.
     
  29. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    My students didn't even know my real first name (but that's mainly because I go by a different name than my legal first name--and they were confused because my teacher ID said my legal name and the other teachers called me another name).

    I lived away from the community so no one knew where I lived. I changed my last name on my Facebook so students couldn't find me. (One did before I changed the last name and I just didn't add him.)

    I pretty much told them my age, that it was my first year (as if they couldn't tell) teaching, where I did my student teaching at, where I went to college, what I studied, and I let a few things here and there slip about my interests. (A few of them found out we play the same video games, and forced me to join their multiplayer server--I told them only after summer had started, and they had graduated. It actually got quite awkward when they were doing their 13 year old version of roleplaying, and I was driven away by the mixture of horrible gary-sue fiction writing and awkward fantasy romance between my former students and other -probably- middle school aged players.)

    I did also tell them a few stories from my childhood/teenage years, like how much more of a monster than them I was when I was their age. xD
     
  30. jeromy.victoria

    jeromy.victoria New Member

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    My students had a lot of information about me. I required them to make a bulletin board about themselves to show their interests and be creative... so I made the first one about me...
    It included baby pictures, my school photo from the year i was teaching (so 6th grade class photo, this year i'll show my kindergarten but they won't be making bulletin boards), they also saw all my degrees, college awards, post college accomplishments, travel photos, my favorite - foods, colors, activities, hobbies etc... all this displayed for a few weeks and a presentation given. The students would follow suit keeping the board fresh all year with interesting tidbits about your students. I always tried to gear a mini lesson towards one of their interests or have a special guest speaker if i knew one.
     
  31. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    I share the usual things listed here,but that's about it. I don't have Facebook, so that isn't a problem. Most of the things I share are about the funny things my two dog do.
     
  32. ciounoi

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    Oh also... with Facebook... when I was student teaching the kids (high school) were dying to find me on Facebook. I said no way, not until you graduate. I also made the thing private so they couldn't find me.

    So one day I'm puttering around on there and I come accross one of my students' FB profiles.... with my name on it! He had changed his name to read (his first name) (my first name) (my last name) (his last name). When asked, he said everyone was looking for me on FB anyway and he was trying to capitalize. ^^
     
  33. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Why would you share what size you wore? I mean are you hoping for a pair of pants for Christmas? I don't get that.
     
  34. OhThePlaces

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    When I taught 2nd grade students new my name (it was on my badge), my husband's name (Mr. ___), they knew I had dogs, and when I was pregnant they knew I was having a baby boy and what his name would be.

    I'll be teaching PreK this year and I'll have my own 3 year old in class. I'm a little nervous about what he'll overshare!
     
  35. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    It's my goal to build a classroom 'community' within my class each year. Part of that is sharing SOME of the stories from my life...my students know my name, where I live...I use stories about my family in writing workshop mini-lessons...much of what I share is connected to lessons in one content area or another...
    Sure, kids will figure out quickly about my shoe obsession...the girls pick up on that quickly given that I rarely wear the same shoes twice in a week...but that's not really about who I am as a teacher...what they really learn about me is that I care about each of them, that I will do what it takes to support them in their learning, that it's ok to laugh and play as part of learning and even then it's work even though we have fun. They may see my shed a tear when reading a great story to them. They'll know my smile, my hugs...they'll know that they are the reason I do what I do.
    As far as clothing size, I'm not quite sure why you would share that, Milsey. There is a line between sharing to make connections to students or to content versus sharing too much. Your students aren't your friends or confidantes...don't put them in that position...it's a dangerous place of too much familiarity. I wish you a successful school year.
     
  36. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    A long time ago the OP was talking about how she felt great about her body and overall appearance and was wearing tight close to show it off. (hopefully that stopped). She also stated that she would lecture kids about not eating junk food, eating healthy, and overall wanted to be a positive role model when it comes to looking good and being healthy.

    I think the giving away the dress size was part of that.

    The problem is that dress size is just a number, it doesn't prove much. I'm a couple of size bigger :( than I was last year, yet I know I'm healthier because I've being going to the gym 3-5 / week for 4 months, and last year I wasn't going at all.

    Either way, even talking about something like that gives the wrong message. What's next, bra size? :)
     
  37. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Role model? TOO much focus on looks, clothing and size is not a good thing...
     
  38. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    I share quite a bit because I live in the same community as my students. It is a small town, and they would be able to find out many things anyway. I do think, however, that personal information like clothing size crosses a discretionary line. How did that topic even come up in your classroom?
     
  39. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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  40. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    I'm sorry I am getting so frustrated with the OP. Off the wall questions and then disappearance...
     
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