How much should you share?

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Milsey, Aug 12, 2012.

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  1. Milsey

    Milsey Habitué

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    Last year I told students my name( well, it was on the report card) , my daughter's name, my clothing size, where I shopped, my hobbies, where I taught last year. That's it. I did not think much of it but then I and my 6-year-old started getting facebook friend requests. Students must have also looked up my phone number because I got a few crank calls. :eek:

    My question is how much should you share with your students? I know some teachers share nothing, but that doesn't help build rapport.
     
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  3. AlwaysAttend

    AlwaysAttend Fanatic

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    As little as possible. They know I bowl and have siblings. I think that's about it. I also wouldn't use my real name if I was on social networking.

    Your 6 year old is on facebook?
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    My students know my name, they hear stories about my daughter, and they know I love my dog. I have students ask if they could friend me on facebook, but I always tell them that I don't friend students until after they graduate.
     
  5. beccmo

    beccmo Comrade

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    My students know my name (and middle initial-they have fun trying to figure out my middle name), where I went to college, my high school mascot, my first profession, that I am married, and where my children are in their educational journey. They also know some of my hobbies and sports I am involved with. It helps for students to see that I do have a life outside of school and that we may have some interests in common.
     
  6. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    My students know my name. It's on my badge. I also share stories with my life and my daughter, but nothing too personal. I also would not friend my students on fb.
     
  7. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician Groupie

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    Clothing size---the best way to build rapport!
     
  8. Starista

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    My students know my name (first and last, as it's on my nametag).

    I talk about my 18 month old son Liam quite a bit!

    They know I love the NE Patriots and Boston Red Sox!

    They know that I sometimes wear glasses.

    They know I am a brunette and were very upset last year when I tried to go darker. They're certainly opinionated!! :rolleyes:

    They know I adore coffee and I use recent scenarios at the Starbucks for math warm ups some mornings. :lol:

    That's about it!!
     
  9. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    :dizzy:
     
  10. MsG

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    My kiddos know a good deal about me. They know my first name, how old I am, that I have two dogs, about my family, favorite things, etc. Just everyday conversation that lets them know that I'm human. They get to hear the funny things that happen when I go on vacation or things that the dogs do. I show them pictures of my family, dogs, vacations to educational places, etc. They do the same with me.

    They also know I have migraines. I tell them this because they are chronic and they'll see me with one at some point. I tell them what they feel like and how they can help me when I have one (and stay at school).

    I don't friend students OR parents on fb. If they ask and I just tell them that is part of my personal life.
     
  11. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Mine know my name, the names of my children and what they are doing, that I love sports, that I love coffee, what books I've read lately (I love to talk to them about YA books!) and, some years, the approximate area I live in.

    I've never received a friend request from a student, but I would never accept. I would also never tell them how much I weigh, what size I wear, and what my favourite alcoholic beverage is. I love my students and I'm very open with them, but those pieces of information are not appropriate to share.
     
  12. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I never wear glasses at school so when I saw a student at our local HEB (he works there), the first thing he said was Wow, Mrs. A you wear glasses?

    And my students know when I change anything about my hair...color or cut!
     
  13. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    I tell my students quite a bit: my name, that I am married and my hubby's name (Mr. Whatley, lol), my daughter & son-in-law's first names, I talk about my grandson & granddaughter ALL the time (my grandson is in 1st this year), and I'm sure I'll talk about the fact that I have a new grandbaby that will be born around the first of the new year. They know I have and love my dog & cat (I show pics), and that, aside from spending time with my grandchildren, I love to read, and I love computers. They know I wear glasses because they see them, and they know that I am diabetic and (basically) what that means, in case I need one of them to call the office or get me a juice from my fridge if my sugar drops. They know what my car looks like, because it's the only one with fleur de lis on the back (my theme is the N.O. Saints). I don't discuss religion, (my) politics, my weight/size/age, etc. because they are inappropriate.
     
  14. HistTchr

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    At the beginning of the year I talk about how long I have been teaching, my different responsibilities within the building, etc. I share different pieces of personal information about myself throughout the year, but not too much.
     
  15. waterfall

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    In the past I've sometimes told students little things about myself that come up in relation to stories we read, if that makes sense. I think it helps them build background knowledge (I work with all ELL's) and build rapport too. I don't share anything too personal. They know which state I'm from and that I came here to teach, and they know that I go back and visit my family a lot. Sometimes I tell them little differences between the states that they might find interesting- since we don't have snow days here, they were absolutely shocked to learn that I used to get out of school if it snowed a lot! I'll also share little things like my favorite things or whatnot if they're related to something a student says (cats are my favorite animal too, etc.) If students ask I'll share my age but it's not something I'd think to bring up otherwise.
     
  16. pwhatley

    pwhatley Maven

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    I remember the first time my daughter saw her kindergarten teacher at the grocery store - I haven't laughed that hard often! I make sure that my kiddos know that I have a life, just like they do.
     
  17. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I share quite a bit, but we also have to post a profile outside of the classroom door. I don't tell them my first name, but the parents know as it's part of our email addys. I tell them that I'm married, have 2 kids, a dog & a cat. They know that I drink coffee every morning. I'm still finishing it up when they come in. Now that my kids are older (20yrs. & 16yrs.) I don't talk about them as much. My 16 yr. old more only because I attend his sporting events and he's finishing up his Eagle Scout. I talk more about my dog & cat. When they ask, Mr. KP is at work.
     
  18. Linguist92021

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    I think it is possible to share some personal details that will build rapport, but you have to be very careful not to share too much.

    I was (am) working at a juvenile detention center. When I had my own classroom, over time I did allow the students to get to know me a little better, but now that I'm subbing, (2 places, my old school and another one) I don't go into it much.

    Actually they have a rule, that we should ABSOLUTELY NOT disclose any information, I mean ANY. I definitely broke that rule, but at the same time I know I didn't cross any lines.
    This is what they know:
    - my first name (they hear my last name sometimes and see it on report cards. My FB account has a different last name, so they'd never find me)
    - I have a daughter, her age, but no name, no school, nothing else. They try so many times to get me to slip and give info, but I'm pretty good. They also know that she looks nothing like me, and we don't even have the same last name :)
    - the town I live in, and the gym I go to - I'm not worried about that, if these gang bangers actually wanna go work out, that's even better. But almost none of them live in the same area where I do
    - I'm single
    - what country I'm from, how long I've been here and my age. I had to tell them, because in their eyes I look much younger than I am, and I had to stress the point that I'm old enough to be their mom

    I noticed that anytime I start a story with 'so my daughter told me the other day....' or 'my daughter and I were....' all of sudden I have their attention, and then I can turn the story into something relevant about the lesson. I try to use the personal info they know in a positive and helpful way.
     
  19. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    When I taught 2nd or 3rd grade, I made them do the math! Otherwise, I'm older then the dirt.
     
  20. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I think both of these are highly inappropriate.
     
  21. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    Haha, that's a cute idea. When I was student teaching I said something about the year I was born and one student quickly came up with "32" as my age. I made her redo the math on that one as she was 10 years off!

    In my last building our first and last names were on nameplates outside the door. I thought it was hilarious when kids would ask me what my "real" name was. I would tell them to do some problem solving to figure it out if they really wanted to know!
     
  22. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Out of the info you shared, I would have only shared my name, my hobbies and where I taught the year before.

    Why would you want them to know your clothing size? I can't think of any good reason, or any positive or appropriate message you could be sending with that detail.
    You should probably try to keep your daughter's life as private as possible, you never know what kind of problems could come out of revealing her identity, especially since she's so young.
     
  23. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    My kids know my name (first and last- it is on our name tags), that I have a cat, what my favorite sports teams are (we talk sports a lot in my room!), my favorite color, my favorite animal, and the state I grew up in. They also usually end up knowing that I work a retail job, but I try to be vague as to which store it is. It is 45 minutes from my school, and I have only ever ran into 1 student and 1 former student.

    I can't really hide most of these things- my room is full of my favorite color and my favorite animal and I have an accent to them. I always represent on 'sports day' as well.
     
  24. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    During one school year I lost 55 pounds and went from a size 18 to a size 8. A lot of girls said it was inspirational for them to see me go through that and asked how I was able to do it and be healthy and happy. A few who I knew well asked what size I was now, and I told them, making sure to point out that everyone has a size that's right for them. (As it turns out, size 8 is a bit smaller than is manageable for me...). That's the only time my size has ever come up, and it was only with 3 or 4 girls I was close to. Under normal circumstances, no way!
     
  25. myangel52

    myangel52 Comrade

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    My students, over the course of the year, know that I am married and have two kids; they will figure out the names of the two kids, that I like to crochet and knit, certain books or movies that I like/don't like, my age and my kids' ages, that I went to school in our town... during a math lesson that involved weight I used mine (I didn't think it was inappropriate, though I can't remember which lesson it was. It made sense, and I wouldn't have dared ask for a student to volunteer theirs, so mine was a reasonable alternative). They knew where my husband worked because they would see him frequently and then come back and ask me if it was him. I don't think I have ever shared too much, and never felt that I was sharing anything inappropriate.
     
  26. Ilovesummer

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    I do that too. I tell them, "well, I was born in 19xx, so how old does that make me?"
     
  27. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    lol...this post makes me smile...I am only wondering how in the world you ended up telling them your clothing size. Oh, those kids we teach. :woot:
     
  28. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'm much younger than you are--I'm only older than the dinosaurs!
     
  29. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I think that in a lesson, it is fine if you are comfortable with sharing.
    Just stating where you like to shop and what size you wear sounds like begging for gifts to me.
     
  30. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    I share some information, depending on situations and when it comes up. Some thing I leave for them to try and figure out. I do tend to tell stories about my life and my family. I use it to relate what we are learning to real life. But, it is important to never get too personal (and that is a comfort level to decide) and make sure what you are telling them has some relevance. At the same time, some stories are just to make sure the students see me as a regular person and not just a teacher in the classroom.
     
  31. Ms. I

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    (I actually started a thread asking how to build rapport w/ the middle schoolers I'll be working with.) Anyway, I don't share much either. All they need to know is my last name...not first name if I can help it. If anyone asks where I live, I'm willing to say the city name. They can know what I like to do (movies, travelling, etc.) No kid's ever asked before if I'm on FB, etc., so I don't think they will & if they do, I don't think it hurts to say NO even if you do. It's really none of their business. Rapport can be made without people knowing any personal info.
     
  32. BumbleB

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    They knew my name (it's on their schedule/report card), my age, the town I live in and that I have a dog. That was about it. They know about my likes and dislikes, but I think that normally comes up when you're trying to get to know your students.
     
  33. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I agree that rapport can be built without giving personal information. I usually build rapport with my kids by getting them to talk about themselves.
     
  34. 2ndTimeAround

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    I give a lot of info out. Almost always it pertains to some lesson at hand. Information that I'd rather they not have, like my child's name, they get from friends that know her outside of school. I don't ever keep anything from them that another student at the school knows because it wouldn't be too hard to find out if they tried. I'd rather it be no big deal to know than they get one over on me, ya know?

    I imagine that when my dd graduates, things will be less public.
     
  35. ChemTeachBHS

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    I share something if it's relevant and not too personal. They know my name, my husband's name, that I have a sister and a pet hedgehog. My students last year knew the day I got married (because I was out for a few days). They also knew my mother has cancer because I was out a lot as a result of it and I didn't want them to think I was just taking days off for the hell of it.
     
  36. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    They know my name (on my badge); the city where I live; that I have a BF, a cat, and a dog (pictures on desk); that my brother is a mad scientist (picture on desk); they know where my dad lives and that my mom passed; I LOVE the Gators; and I drink a lot of tea.

    They don't need to know my clothing size. They can know where I shop if they bump into me at the mall. I have a lot of fun all year while they try to guess how old I am. And if they manage to find me on Facebook, I deny friend requests.
     
  37. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    They know which town I live in, the names and ages of my kids, and bits and pieces of my life. They know of my Disney obsession, of my lack of artistic ability, and lots of other little details that come up in the course of 180 days spent together. Probably a whole lot less than most people here know about me, name and zip code excepted.

    One or two know my medical history; the class that I had when all that was going on has graduated, but I've shared it with kids that I know have a mom or sister with Breast Cancer.

    I haven't read beyond that first post, but I've got to ask: how on earth did your clothing size come up?????

    I'm not on Facebook, so that's a non-issue.
     
  38. Cicero

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    I had a hard time with this during student teaching at a HS last year. I guess me being closer to their age made them feel more comfortable asking me personal questions frequently. I definitely think that I shared more than I am going to from now on (stupid stuff like how long I had been dating my bf because a young lady asked...so suddenly some girls would do engagement checks with me after every major holiday or long break. Geez! Bad life choice there). In one of the books I am reading right now it suggested the rule of don't share anything you wouldn't share if the principal was in the room. I think this is something I am definitely going to live by from now on.
     
  39. Cicero

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    Also with Facebook you can set your privacy to where you won't even appear in public search results... That helped me out with my kiddos last year! They were always trying to track me down on social media.
     
  40. MissScrimmage

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    My students know my first name - it's on my nameplate on the door, and they LOVE that I have a first name! They know about my family, especially my nephew because he came to visit us one day, they know some of my interests. I always tell them stories from when I was in grade 1 since I have copied some of my own grade 1 teacher's ideas. They learn a lot about me, and LOVE any sort of personal details I give them. I never tell my age, though. One kid asked me if I was a pioneer when I was a little girl!
     
  41. dgpiaffeteach

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    I give out quite a few "personal" details that they more than likely could figure out just by looking around my room. They know I have two horses, a BF, and a cat. I have pictures of my parents as well on my desk. I tell them where I graduated from. I tell them some of my interests (sports, reading, etc...) Basically anything I ask them to share on their info sheet, I'll share too.

    Throughout the year they may learn different things. For example, they may learn I shop at Loft because they ask where I got something. I don't care about that. They may learn some of my favorite movies and TV shows if I relate them to lessons. For example, when we discuss epics, I talk about Titanic, which is a favorite.

    I don't share any real details of my life, just things most people know about me.
     
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