How many friends do you have?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by ku_alum, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Jan 27, 2009

    Do you ever find yourself on a Friday evening and think it'd be nice to meet up with some people ... but ... who would you call?

    My friends:
    My DH (not to be sappy, but we 'hang out' a lot together)

    My mom (she lives only 5 minutes away now)

    About 4 co-workers (2 are always busy with family stuff, 1 won't drive after dark). I like a LOT of people I work with, but I am really close to 4.

    2 college friends (we call and email, see each other maybe 1 time a year)

    Some a-to-zers (that I will likely never meet)



    My DH has a group of guys he eats lunch with on Wed and another group of guys he eats lunch with on Fri, but they don't do anything together beyond that.

    My DH has 1 close friend from MS/HS/College that he hangs with about 1 time a month (they live 3 hours apart).

    BUT, WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO FRIDAY EVENING, DH AND I HAVE NO ONE TO CALL.
     
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  3. TennisPlayer

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    Jan 27, 2009

    What about having people over for a game night or something like that where you send out an Evite? That gives people enough time to think about it and see if they really do have plans or not. I know we're so used to our regular weekends but enjoy hanging out with others too! I've realized if I want something to happen, I usually have to plan it!
     
  4. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I guess none, unless you want to count my BF & mom.

    I started a thread similar to this. I don't even have people to call, so you're doing better than I am...it's kinda sad, but true. The thing is, I'm the sweetest person anyone will ever know in their lives & a genuine friend, but I guess I don't go out much to be able to meet new people (since I don't have friends to go out w/). It's kind of a vicious circle. It's extremely hard for me to mk friends for some reason.

    I have a longtime BF, but I honestly don't like that he's my only friend because if we ever break up (not that I want to), I really wouldn't have anyone. My BF doesn't have friends either, but he does have 2 brothers who have plenty of friends who he can always hang out w/ if he wants to.

    I have my mom, but that's different than having a female friend my own age.

    I just wish I had one female friend to go out w/ & even travel with.
     
  5. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I had a great group of friends in MI. We all went to high school together and took road trips and they are my best friends. There were 8 of us. When I moved out here, I found it so hard to meet people. Basically it was work or nothing. I don't go out to drink, so it's not I like would finda group to party with. When we have parties, I just invite dh's high school friends who live in the area. I've become better friends with the girlfriend of his best friend, but it's still pretty superficial. I have a former co-worker that I worked with in the city, but she's not the most fun to hang out with, so I meet up with her maybe once a month. I would love a best friend. I looked on meet-up.com, and found a group, but it only meets once a month. I feel like starting my own group, but I don't want to look desperate. I would call it 'interesting 20-somethings who can't make friends'. Doesn't that sound like a group you'd like to join? ;) I would give it a try, but we live in a very small area, and I wouldn't want to be labeled as the weird girl who can't make friends....
     
  6. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I'm fortunate enough to have a lot of good friends, but it wasn't always that way! I met most of my great friends in college or late into college. DH and I went to the same high school but only got together after I was out of college. But we really hung out in the same group of people so we get along with everyone.

    I really enjoy it, we had a big fire this fall to celebrate our housewarming and we had a lot of mutual friends come, it was really nice.
     
  7. TennisPlayer

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I think for most people they make friends either with people they work with, go to school with (college or other classes like at the community recreation center), any kind of group setting where you see the same people like a church group, or through other people. I am thankful for my good friend that I know because our husbands are good friends! She's someone I'd want to be friends with even if they didn't know each other and we had met some other way.
     
  8. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I have a group of four friends, and I'd consider them "best" friends. I've been friends with two of them since 7th grade, and one of them was my roommate our freshman year of college. One of them also goes to church with me, and we teach in the same district. The other one lives in a nearby town. The other two friends I met my senior year of high school and sophomore year of college. They don't live around here, so we typically see each other once or twice a year. All of us talk regularly by email, MySpace, and FaceBook.

    I have one online friend who is pretty close to me. We actually met through DH, and she and I have kept in touch. We get together for "girls' night" once a year in May when another friend comes into the state to visit family.

    I'm lucky to have a good group of people at work, and we sometimes do things together. There are 5-6 of us who get along well outside of school.

    The funny thing is that most of us are pretty anti-social, so we talk when we run into each other out somewhere, and we talk online a lot. About half of my friends have children, and they're at the age where they are running them to activities. However, we are still able to do more than we did when they were babies.

    I always tell DH that if we weren't married, I wouldn't be friends with him because we have nothing in common. lol

    DH has one friend. He never goes out anywhere. He doesn't seem to care either.
     
  9. MsBee

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I was just talking to someone last night about this. I only have 2 friends and it does suck sometime. Other times I do not really care. It would just be nice to go out and do things sometimes but even if I had the chance I prob wouldn't go because it can seem so awkward. Its hard for me to be "friendly" and let loose and open up to people.
     
  10. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jan 27, 2009

    to be honest, Jem; if I saw that in the classifieds, I would think it was "weird". How about a new name..."Interesting 20-Somethings Who Want To Make New Friends". And then put down your wants and not haves...no bar room buddies needed; social drinkers only, or whatever...I can't really think right now.
     
  11. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jan 27, 2009


    I hear where you're coming from, Ms. I.
    And yet, I know I make my own happenstance (is that correct?)..I have lots of coworkers who I am friendly with and I enjoy them...at work. Therefore, I don't consider them friends. Now, one of my coworkers is a dear friend of mine and she and i go out for lunch about 1 a week; maybe once every 2 weeks. I think we need to make ourself available someplace in order to meet and hook up with new friends (if that's what we want)...maybe Church...Book Clubs (I read that's where Valerie Bertinelli made lots of normal friends), etc..
     
  12. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Jan 27, 2009

    We're in the same boat too! :) Most of the time, I don't care either...but once in a blue moon; I tell my hubby, I really miss having a couple to pal around with. We had some dear & fun friends we hung out with all the time (they moved away).
     
  13. AMK

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    Jan 27, 2009

    We have our friends that we each grew up with who are all married or dating. Sometimes we will meet them for dinner or drinks.
    I am having a girls night when my sister visits and it is not easy getting just my girlfriends together!
    Sometimes we meet up with my friends or his friends usually it is just the two of us.
    I really miss my mom she was best friend we enjoyed doing so much together.
     
  14. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I am also in the "no-one to call" club. It is even worse since I moved out of state. I have always gotten along well with everyone at school or work, but I've never had many "outside of work" friends. I have always had a fear of annoying someone (since childhood and my parents divorced- I always wanted to be as agreeable as possible while with each of them and not a bother), so I think that keeps me from getting close.
     
  15. WindyCityGal606

    WindyCityGal606 Enthusiast

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I am an adult victim of being a military brat so I have no friends from childhood. Having lived around the world, moving to a new country every two years, I wasn't able to keep in touch with anyone...no email or facebook back then!! Or cheap cell phone calls!! So...I am 40ish and friendless. The few people I've met in my adult life all have their cliques from childhood and even so, I get very uncomfortable when I've been friends with someone longer than 2 or 3 years. I tend to walk away from relationships. I told you, I'm a victim of being a military brat. Lots of us like this. Fun experiences growing up but lonely lonely lonely.
     
  16. scooter503

    scooter503 Comrade

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    Jan 27, 2009

    One of my friends I've known since kindergarten...her daughter is my god-child. But we don't see each other nearly enough....weird schedules and all (she's a nurse).

    My college roommate moved to Minnesota...so it's mostly phone/email.

    I have two friends from high school that we see every other week (we are in a couples' bowling league together).

    Then we have a group of 8 (4 couples) who meet EVERY Friday for "date night". We just hang out, play games, relax. We went up north together for a whole weekend about two weeks ago. On of the couples is my sister and BIL. We've only been doing this for about 8-10 months...we started sometime during the summer.

    We also have a group of friends from college, but again, we don't see each other nearly enough. We maybe get together 3-6 times a year.
     
  17. TennisPlayer

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    Jan 27, 2009

    Maybe someone traveling somewhere can meet up with others on here that might be there at the same time whether they already live there or are also on vacation there! Just an idea....
    We're going to Disney World if anyone here wants to meet up there! I'm excited to explore Epcot Center now that I saw some YouTube videos! That looks like so much fun to wander around and sample the different foods from around the world. I wonder if they have little snacks so you can sample or if they are just big meals?!
     
  18. buck8teacher

    buck8teacher Devotee

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I meet up with about 8 to 10 friends on Wednesdays for Trivia. I know a few of them from college and then the rest are friends of friends.

    On the weekends I hang with a good friend from college on Sundays after church, and usually with the close core group of friends from Trivia. I am becoming more involved with my church and have met some people there. My best friend since child still lives in the area but our schedules don't allow us to spend a lot of time together.

    My very best friends live far away and it's mostly phone calls to keep us in touch, although we have some girl weekends planned.

    I'm doing Team in Training and hope that introduces me to more new people in my area.

    We have something called a "Klubhouse Krew" from work that gets together for dinner/drinks over the summer about once a month, and are trying to get it organized to do once a month during the school year but hasn't exactly happened yet.
     
  19. ZoomZoomZOOM

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I only had one or two friends but then my husband joined a rock band, and I became close friends with all the "groupies!" (Granted, they're about 15 years younger than me but...)

    So I guess the answer is... you're husband needs to get off his lazy a$$ and join a band. ;)
     
  20. lilmisses1014

    lilmisses1014 Comrade

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    Jan 27, 2009

    Man, I could have written some of these posts. I had a tight-knit group of friends in college (sorority sisters), but we're scattered all over the country now. We still keep in touch, but it's hard to get together. Since college I haven't made too many friends. I have considered joining my sorority's local alumnae chapter but seem to chicken out when I think about contacting someone about it.
     
  21. fuzed_fizzion

    fuzed_fizzion Comrade

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    Jan 27, 2009

    We have three other couples we hang out with when we have the time. Every other weekend we have the kids, and Friday night is family movie night. The other Fridays we sometimes spend time with our friends; we call it the meeting of the "Demicans."

    I have other girlfriends, but we mostly keep in contact with email, phone calls, and facebook. Every other month we try to get together for a girls night.
     
  22. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jan 27, 2009

    We have some best friends that live about 2 1/2 hours away that we hang out with once a month. We have neighbors that we hang out with every weekend.
     
  23. MissX

    MissX Rookie

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    Jan 27, 2009

    wow. some of these posts are so sad! too bad no one lives in my area, we cant start a hang-out group!

    i have my close girlfriends (six) from high school whom i hang out with every couple of weeks, maybe once or twice a month. two are married with kids, me and another are in serious relationships and the other two are dating/mingling so it's always interesting.

    then i have my family, i have many siblings. i have two older brothers who brings their gfs around and my two younger sisters bring their bfs around. we hang out every once in a while (couples and all) and its always fun.

    the bf has a wide circle of friends and a lot of close buddies from high school. their girlfriends and wives are my friends so when we hang out its always a bunch of us having fun, chilling and drinking a couple beers or two.

    this past semester a couple of us from class went out for lunch and drinks two-three times.. that was fun too =) i hope i will make friends when i start teaching so i'll have co-workers to hang out with too.
     
  24. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I have a great group of friends at home. There are 5 of us and they are my best friends. I also have a good group of friends at school and another best friend - my roommate. I dont know where I will be next year so its hard to think about losing those friendships because of distance.
     
  25. Ms. I

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    Jan 27, 2009

    Another thing is that everyone I come across for as long as I can remember seems to already have their own grp of friends, so of course it feels like I'm always the outsider.

    There was a time when I was about 21 & starting a new university & I met this girl who was in a sorority. She asked me to come to a meeting to possibly join, but after the 1st meeting, I guess I felt that it wasn't for me. Now, I regret not joining because I probably would have had a lot of great friends by now. In fact, my social life would have been TOTALLY different from the way it is now.
     
  26. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    Jan 27, 2009

    I was just talking about this yesterday. DH and I were best friends with another couple for almost thirty years, and then they got divorced. We were living across the country from each other, but we would get together at least once a year, talk on the phone often, and even vacation together. Now it's like I got custody of her and my DH got custody of him! We all had so much fun together - it really tore me up when they split.

    Most of the time I'm content to hang out with my hubby, but once in a while I wish I had a girlfriend to go shopping with...not that I even like shopping that much.
     
  27. Blue

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    Jan 27, 2009

    My husband and I have no close friends where we live now. We really don't mind, as we are not anxious to do anything. We like a nice quiet home life. We have great neighbors that help each other out. If we wanted a social life, we would find one: neighbors, work, church, gym.

    I agree, if you move to a new area, it is very hard to make friends. Everyone seems to have their social group all set up.
     
  28. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Jan 28, 2009

    I have enough.

    Making friends involves a lot of smiling, humor, and accepting people with all their idiosyncracies.

    And sometimes you have to be forward. Invite people to go somewhere simple like to a teacher store, then start adding to that later. How about out to relax after school on a Friday? If you aren't used to it, you've got to put yourself forward and make it happen. And don't get discouraged.
     
  29. MissFroggy

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    Jan 28, 2009

    I'm really lucky that I have a group of friends I care about and love...

    Coworkers- 1 woman and her partner plus a lot of others I'm friendly with enough to stop by or get invited to parties and things

    My best friend from undergrad and her partner

    My best friend from grad school

    A great couple I know- one of them was introduced to me by my best friend from undergrad- we hang out a lot

    My (new) GF

    And then there are some other people in our group, a man, and several friends that I only see at parties. I have a few friends who are people I invite over once in awhile and really enjoy but they don't live close enough to see often.

    My best friend from elementary school and her mother and husband are good friends as well.

    I also see my own mom and brother a lot in friendly sorts of ways.

    I also have 3 great friends who live in other states.

    Other than that, I have a lot of acquaintances.. I may run into them in a coffee shop or they may come out to dinner in a group. I have a few friends that I do only specific things with- one friend and I go walking together, but only rarely hang out in other situations. Another one is a scary movie buddy, and I hardly ever see him otherwise.
     
  30. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    Jan 28, 2009

    I have 3 close girlfriends who I know would do anything for me. My husband is my best friend, as well as my sister and my mom. I share everything with them.
    My husband's best friend since kindergarten became a best friend of mine when we married. We even named our son after him.
    I have acquaintances, such as colleagues at school, but all we have in common is school.
    I feel so blessed that I have the close friends I do have. I don't mind not having someone to call on Friday nights. I also, like the quiet life. I have never been a partier. I prefer intimate, quiet get togethers.
     
  31. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    Jan 28, 2009

    My hubby and I spend most of our time together. My best friend is a teacher who lives about 2 hours away and we e-mail and talk on the phone mostly. I only get to see her during school vacations maybe twice a year. I wish she lived closer!!!!!!!! I have another good friend who I always went to dinner and to the theater with. Since she had her baby I NEVER see her. I know she is busy. I will have to make more of an effort to talk to her though even if we can't hang out. Hubby and I have a group of friends who we hung out with all the time before we were married but we havn't seen them in a while either. I have a few friends scattered here and there local and all around the country. I really have to keep in better touch with them! When I first started reading this thread I was feeling sorry for myself because I was thinking I barely had any friends. I DO have them but I am too lazy to connect with them. That should be my new years resolution (a little late LOL).
     

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