How long does it take?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by funshine2381, Dec 5, 2010.

  1. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2010
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 5, 2010

    My ex bf and I broke up over the summer. We talked and tried to work it out since then, but we weren't successful. It was pretty serious and we were living together up to the end of the relationship. Today would have been 2 years. My first and only marriage lasted 3, so this feels like I'm going through a divorce again. My heart drops if I see a picture of him and I avoid music I once liked because I know it will make me cry. I've tried dating but I'm just not into it right now. I moved a ways away due to the relationship ending and haven't met anyone up here yet as far as friends go. All my friends seem to be on different pages in their lives right now...not sure if it's because I'm in this funk or what it is...but talking to my friends just doesn't seem to help. I would rather keep it in. How long will this take? I really, really hate this feeling. A part of me just wants to be single forever....because I really don't think I can take another heart-break again. :unsure:
     
  2.  
  3. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2008
    Messages:
    227
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 5, 2010

    This may sound old-fashioned but when one moves in with a significant other you are playing at marriage. When it doesn't work out, you are experiencing the same as with a divorce but without attorneys and the emotional support that is available through recovery groups. I would suggest you seriously evaluate your two failed relationships - maybe even with a professional if necessary. Why did your marriage end in divorce? It normally takes two failures, so how did you change? How quickly did you get into the second? How soon did you move in together? Lots more questions you need to ask yourself, but I'm sure you get my drift.

    I'm sorry for your pain. Breakups are painful, especially at this time of year. Volunteer, go out and find folks that have a same interest as you, find something to take your mind off your breakup.
     
  4. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 5, 2010

    Good advice from the previous poster. I've been in long term relationships that I eventually ended because I realized after the time I spent with each of them that they had changed in some way and I didn't see myself with them the rest of my life which I felt it would be like with each one of the guys I dated since they were long relationships.
    It's possible to love more than once as I and many others and you have experienced and being hurt is a normal reaction to loss just like grieving. Try to understand why it wasn't working out, help others, and eventually when you feel ready maybe you'll want to date again. You don't have to be alone..... Good night there.
     
  5. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,007
    Likes Received:
    12

    Dec 5, 2010

    After being divorced 3 times I'll tell you it never gets easier you just get to know the drill after a while.
    Just think of it as it wasn't right for you. Just time to move on, buried yourself in school and start some hobby.
    For me it was sports officiating.
    Men are like busses if you miss one another will be along shortly.
    You have had two "tryouts," so you know now what you want in a relationship. Just don't settle for less than you want. My marriages were a settling for less than what I wanted, so they failed.

    You are young (I assume) there are a lot of fish in the sea so stay away from the bottom feeders.
    If I read right you are a mother so buried yourself into your child's needs.
    Take your time to grieve the relationship then move on as fast as you can.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Nancy Petrson,
  2. SofiaWoodstone,
  3. blazer
Total: 348 (members: 3, guests: 329, robots: 16)
test