How long do I take for the death of a parent?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by cindy lou, Mar 13, 2011.

  1. cindy lou

    cindy lou Rookie

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    Mar 13, 2011

    Hello friends,
    Sadly, I lost my mother last Wednesday. After the funeral yesterday, I really thought I was ready to go back to work tomorow, but now I just feel like I've been run over by a truck. Today has been very hard for me, and I worry about Dad when all of the family is gone. I have a wonderful colleague who has prepared my lessons and arranged for my favorite sub to be there for me tomorrow.
    I thought it would be good to get back to a normal routine, but after today I'm not so sure. I guess I'm just wondering what you would all do.
    Thanks in advance
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 13, 2011

    Cindy, I'm so very sorry.

    Take tomorrow, and impose on your friend to put together one more day's lessons for you for Tuesday. Then try to go in on Tuesday, and do the sub lessons your friend has prepared. It will be an easy day for you, with the lessons all prepped, and you'll be able to ease back in.
     
  4. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Mar 13, 2011

    I would take as long as I needed. I have about 5-6 weeks worth of sick time saved up, so I would definitely use up as much of it as necessary if someone close to me died!

    Please put your family first (it sounds like your father is going to need you). If you're not ready to return on Tuesday, then please don't go back until you feel physically & emotionally ready to deal with a room full of 2nd graders.

    Keep in mind that "the show will go on" whether or not you're at school. You have a good sub lined up and your colleague is taking care of your plans.

    You're in my thoughts! Take care! :hugs:
     
  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Mar 13, 2011

    My deepest sympathies. There really isn't a stock answer; you need to do what feels right for you. Alice has given good advice.

    My dad passed away on a Sunday, the funeral was on Thursday and I returned to work on Monday. I had already been off for 2 weeks at that point, and felt the need to return to my routine. I also knew that, while things were going to be very difficult for my mom, she had a very strong support system close to home that she could, and would, call on.
     
  6. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Mar 13, 2011

    I'm sorry. I also think you should take as much time as you need. At my last school I worked at, there were so many deaths in coworkers' families just in one year. Most of them took up to a month off to deal with the deaths.
     
  7. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Mar 13, 2011

    My condolences, cindy lou. I lost my mother two months ago. When I lost my husband 10 year ago, I only took one week off. Going back helped in some ways because I could sort of escape the pain by totally focusing while I was in class. That said, sometimes I had to run out of the room to the rest room in tears. Luckily, my admin was supportive. I don't think there is a right answer to your question. You won't really feel 100% ready to go back at any point in the near future, so you can't really wait for that. If you have the energy to plan lessons, get up early, and face the trip in to school, those are signs that you might want to return.

    Take care of yourself and do whatever that takes.
     
  8. funnyteacher

    funnyteacher Rookie

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    Mar 13, 2011

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father this summer and it was a struggle to go back. I broke down every time someone offered their condolences. You may want to ask your friend to email your coworkers and ask that they give you a little space when you get back. You know that they care and are praying for you and your family. Be strong and take as much time as you need. I've known some people want to get back just to get their mind off things. You'll know when you are ready. Take advantage of your friends/coworkers who are willing to help you. I'll be praying for you. (HUGS)
     
  9. teacher36

    teacher36 Comrade

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    Mar 13, 2011

    Cindy Lou, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother this summer and was hired by my current school one week later. I felt completely overwhelmed but I put 100% of me into planning for the upcoming year. I truly feel like God gave me this job to help me through the loss of my mother. It was a welcomed distraction. That was what worked for me. Keep in mind that everyone grieves differently. You will know when you feel ready to go back. And even then, you will have set backs. I cried the other day in the supermarket because something reminded me of my mom. I also cry everytime someone asks about her or offers condolences. Do what feels right for you, they will understand. And also, take whatever help is offered to you. Friends of mine had my own children over for playdates so that I could grieve without scaring the bejeesus out of them. Know that if people offer to help, they will feel good when you accept it. God bless you and your family.
     
  10. StudentTeach

    StudentTeach Comrade

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    Mar 13, 2011

    I'm very sorry for your loss. My father died while I was student teaching last March and I took a week off from school before returning. By the end of the week I was ready for a "routine" since I had been eating out all week and drinking a lot with my mom and sister!
     
  11. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Take as much time as you need. I am positive that my co-workers would make lesson plans for me if my parent passed away, and we have been at each other's throats all week! If I just said "We are finishing Macbeth" they would put something together. I might take a few days or a week and spend some time with your dad. Or, if you are feeling up to it, go back after a day or two and plan on taking a good chunk of time later in the month to spend with your dad and maybe to go through your mother's things if you still need to do all that.

    So sorry for your loss.
     
  12. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    Mar 13, 2011

    So sorry!

    Do what you need to do. People handle grief differently.

    I lost my FIL and Dad in the same year. My FIL died on a Sunday, and his funeral was on a Wednesday. I went back to school the following Monday. I was out four days with Dad before he died. He died on a Monday, and I missed the entire week. The following week was spring break, so I had that extra time.
     
  13. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Mar 13, 2011

    Cindy, I'm sorry for your loss. The death of a parent is very hard to deal with. I would do as others say, I would take as much time as needed. The amount of time depends on you. Take the time that is needed for you.
     
  14. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    Mar 13, 2011

    I am so sorry about your mom. When I lost my mom I took a week and I still went in every morning to set up for that day. My principal said if she saw me one more morning she was going to make me stay. She wanted me home not worrying about my class. Take as much time as you need. hugs to you
     
  15. cindy lou

    cindy lou Rookie

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    Mar 13, 2011

    Thank you

    Thank you all for your replies, good wishes and condolences. I have decided that I will take tomorrow, and then just take it one day at a time. I know that my fellow teachers will have things well in hand, but I got my work ethic from my mother so getting back as soon as possible will be a good way to honor her memory.
    I just can't imagine being anywhere but with my dad right now. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.
     
  16. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    Mar 13, 2011

    :hugs: Big hugs Cindy Lou!
     

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