How does your Significant Other deal with summer breaks?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by JustineCase, Jun 15, 2009.

  1. JustineCase

    JustineCase Rookie

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    Jun 15, 2009

    My husband and i have been married not quite a year. We moved in together just before the end of the school year last year and got married just before this past school year started. We dated long-distance for 4 years before we moved in together, but I've known him my whole life. (Grew up in the same town/went to the same schools).

    Last summer we were (I was) busy with wedding stuff, but this summer I have no commitments. Hubby seems resentful of the free time I have now. He typically works 10-12hrs a day (managment) or longer if he has to.

    Do any of your SOs make you feel guilty about having a summer break? How do you handle it?
     
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  3. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    My SO has never been jealous or resentful of me having summers off. He's said before that he'd rather it be me who had the vacation than him. :wub:
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sorry, I can't help.

    I'm married to a teacher.
     
  5. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    My DF teases me about my summers off but nothing horrible. He asked me this spring what my summer project was going to be and I had no idea. But now it is going to be planning a wedding and selling my condo and looking for a house.
     
  6. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Mine gives me a hard time about it. I think he is a little jealous. But then I just remind him about how he plays Uno at work and takes over an hour lunch every day. And that usually shuts him up. lol.
     
  7. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

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    My SO has nothing to say to me about it because he had all winter off this year :) ....

    But in all seriousness I do work a part time waitressing job, this year I'm cutting back to only two shifts per week though! I'm so excited to be spending time working on my house.
     
  8. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    My husband is much better about it than he use to be. Now he just encourages me to spend the time hanging out and not cleaning or working. For example, today I am going to a workshop and then tutoring and he told me "Have a great relaxing day!" and I gave him a look because I am busy today. He replied with a comment about how I ought to read a book, go for a run or otherwise enjoy my time off instead of feeling like I need to fill it up!! :) He also asked me where I am going to study this summer, I have in the past taken a week or two and gone abroad and studied Spanish. This year I don't think that will happen though, $$ is too tight to justify that.
     
  9. DaleJr88AmpFan

    DaleJr88AmpFan Cohort

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    It really depends... before we had kids, he would ask me what I was going to do with my day. BUT, at that time, I was teaching summer school for the first 4-6 weeks after school ended. For my 2nd and 3rd summers, I was working towards my master's degree. So he knew I was pretty busy. For the last three years, I have not taught summer school but have taken 15-20 days to write curriculum. Other than that, I "stay" home. The one thing that he woud not understand is my need to "get out" for a bit once he got home. I was with the kiddos 24/7 and needed a bit of a break about every 3rd day even if it was for 30min at the grocery store. He would also give me a little static about the house not being completely clean every day... blah, blah, blah! I set him pretty straight explaining that I can not devote my entire day to just cleaning if I wanted to spend quality time with the girls. I know that there are days that he is a bit jealous about my staying home or being able to got to the lake for long weekends BUT he now realizes that I am not "on vacation" when I am watching the girls. We have a bit of an understanding now. :) That retraining takes a while...
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    He is jealous. He always ask what I have planned for the day. Translation: Are you cleaning the house and doing laundry?

    ETA: But he does think it's total garbage that our summers have become just an extended break...not what they used to be.
     
  11. MrsTeacher2Be

    MrsTeacher2Be Companion

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    My DH loves it. During this school year I was just SO busy all the time, I was playing catch up all year since I started in October. So, he did most (if not all) of the cleaning and laundry, and most of the cooking, etc. Now that I'm off I have taken it back over, so he's just as happy as he can be!
     
  12. GoldenPoppy

    GoldenPoppy Habitué

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    My husband is semi-retired and works from home. He looks forward to having me home during breaks, and especially all summer.

    He doesn't care if I spend the day doing projects or taking a nap -- whatever makes me happy. In fact, I keep coming up with a list of things I want to clean and he keeps saying I shouldn't spend my vacation that way. He'll hire someone to do it.
     
  13. blindteacher

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    My wife isn't jealous at all. She is happy that I get to spend more time with her and our son. I also do things during the summer like tutoring blind children in Braille and cane skills so I do keep myself somewhat occupied.
     
  14. scooter503

    scooter503 Comrade

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    In the past I have done summer school or taken classes. I am taking another class this summer, and have 7 days of in services planned. Plus we will hopefully start building our house in the next week, and my sister's baby is due any day now, so I'll be keeping plenty busy. I also fill in for DH's secretary when she wants time off to spend with her kids. He loves that I'm available to help out (free help is so hard to fine these days ;)).

    My DH is really understanding though. We each agree not to complain about the other's schedule, because we chose what career path to take and the time off is part of that (my husband has every Tuesday afternoon and every Thursday off, plus weekends). He always says, "If I wanted summers off, I'd have gone to school to be a teacher". He doesn't give me a hard time about how much work I do around the house either. In fact, he usually asks why I don't spend more time sitting out in the sun. :) Guess I married well, huh?
     
  15. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    My dh does not complain at all. He is a super guy and he likes that I get some time off.
     
  16. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I'm cringing because I'm guilty of this. My husband works a slightly longer schedule everyday so he can have every other Friday off. Well, I work over my scheduled hours and go to school so I never get those times off. Plus he has so many sick days and personal days it is ridiculous sometimes. It could be equivalent to my summers EXCEPT I have to go to college all summer. I'm just tired and worn out so I rib on him about it occasionally. Personally I probably would never even mention it except those are the days I have to get up early and take the kids to daycare (which are right next to where he works) and Fridays I like to stay behind and chat a bit with my co-workers (since I don't have a life outside of work, school and home) and those are the days I have to leave early. It's a bit selfish on my part considering all he does for me. I don't say it often but occasionally on those cranky mornings or those days he takes off when I'm off (and sometimes I'd rather have a day to myself since we aren't going to do anything but sit at home on our respective computers anyways) then I say something. You know what he tells me? You can work for the government if you want to. Just send in your application. HAHAHA! Very True. I made my choices and so did he.
     
  17. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Because I teach from home on top of everything else, my husband seems to think that I should handle all of the household responsibilities because he's so busy. This summer, I feel like I have to show him what I'm doing (working on curriculum as well as several creative pieces). On the other hand, he's also been the one telling me to stop teaching and go to bed when it gets too late.
     
  18. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I really haven't had a summer off since 2000. I was going to college. When I as done with that I went to work for a test making company until I got my first teaching job. The last two summers I have spent looking for a job. Not exactly a vacation. The one summer I had between school years I spent summer school teaching. Then I found out I was getting moved to another grade level and spent the rest of the summer working to get ready for that move.
     
  19. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    My DH teases me about it some, I think there is a tinge of jealousy. My response when I feel like he is moving away from teasing is "it's no surprise to anyone that teachers get the summer off, go get an ed degree and you can do the same." Even with his quick wit (one of the many things I love about him) he doesn't have a response. He knows I work myself to near exhaustion during the school year and knows that not just anyone can be a teacher.
     
  20. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    My husband is a musician, so he has more time off than I do. He doesn't say anything . . . although toward the end of the summer we're usually getting on each other's nerves because we've been together 24/7.
     
  21. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    My man goes to work at around 6:45. I'm up of course and usually my kids are too but we are laying around. I know he resents that.

    I get comments like, "you all were home all day and there is still folded laundry on the kitchen table." Or on a Saturday if I want to go shopping he'll remind me how I had all week to go shopping. Mind you I have only been off one week!! I think it will get worse before it gets better. I plan on working my butt off today cleaning house and making dinner so that we start the week off on the right foot.
     
  22. buck8teacher

    buck8teacher Devotee

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    My former bf was very understand, his mom and sister are both teachers. So he encouraged me to stop doing a lot at school and just have fun!
     
  23. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    There's a "Honey do" list. But she never lets me see it. I find out what was on it when she ask me if I did the stuff I didn't do.

    I used to catch hell because I got two months of "vacation." Then our district switched pay schemes and now we don't get paid over the summer. Now "being on vacation" has morphed into "You're unemployed" and "Why can't you hold a steady job."

    But seriously, I have one mega-project to do this summer. If I get that done, she'll be happy.
     
  24. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I'm sorry your husband or SO gets jealous about you having vacations, but better you than him (having the vacations), right! :D
     
  25. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    What's the project? :whistle:
     
  26. DHE

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    I asked my dh if he is jealous because I am off for the summer and he said he thinks that I work so hard during the school year that I deserve my time off. That is why I love this man sooooooo much. :)
     
  27. Newto3rd

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    My dh used to be a little jealous when I was sleeping in and he was working out in 100+ degree weather every day. Then he realized that I was much happier in the summer and other school breaks and encourages me to sleep in and relax. Such a sweety!!

    And now he's teaching too, so he's enjoying his first semi-summer along with me. (he's getting his first contract job next year, so he's working this summer at a really easy job)

    My sister's husband is wayyyy jealous of all of us. I told him that it's his fault he got the wrong degree!!
     
  28. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    My DH is thrilled, to be honest. He has plans for me to go to Costco for our groceries, and to make more meals at home. This is going to save us a ton of money. Plus he only has to get himself off to work - usually he makes the kids' lunches in the morning.
     
  29. Blue

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    My husband enjoys the home cooked meals he gets every night. He does wonder why the house is not spotless every day. But, he never notices what I have cleaned, just what I did not get to during the day.
     
  30. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Today is my first day off, so we'll see...I think he gets frustrated by me, sometimes, because when I've been with our kids all day, I sometimes need a break by the time he gets home. He feels that I should be thankful for this time with our kids, but sometimes they just drive me crazy!

    He also think I lack a relaxation gene, because if we are facing a day with nothing planned to do, I feel dread. Even if our thing to do is go to the dr. or go to Target...I HAVE to get out of the house every day, have some sort of plan.

    Kim
     
  31. sumnerfan

    sumnerfan Comrade

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    My hubby can't say a word, as a paramedic he only works every 3rd day. Of course he is on call for 24 hours during that time but he can sleep, watch tv, surf the net. Except for all the sick people it sounds like a sweet deal to me. (kidding of course, he works hard) But back to the original question, since he's technically home more than me my husband does not complain about me being home. He did however try to get me to sell all our old stuff on ebay rather than taking it to the consignment store. I gave it a shot but I am just not a sales person so off the the second hand store the stuff goes. That way it's gone and out of my way and when I cash out my account a couple times a year I have mad money. But I digress . . .
     
  32. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    My husband teases me a little and I am sure there are days he is jealous, but he works 4 days on, 4 days off all year so there are lots of days that he is home while I am at work.
     
  33. Newto3rd

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    That is me perfectly!! I can't stand sitting at home "relaxing". Today I haven't left the house because I planned to stay and relax. I'm glad that I have a hair appointment at 2!!
     
  34. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Well, my first two years teaching he didn't really say anything because I was working hard getting my rooms together and one summer was spent moving to a new house. The past two summers I've been job searching. He doesn't understand that job hunting can be a full time job. I think he gets jealous sometimes because I sleep in, spend time with dd, and spend time on the computer.. He doesn't understand that most of the time I'm working on my resume, cover letter, getting stuff together should I have a classroom next year. He really doesn't understand my need to be here on AtoZ until I tell him that this is where I vent, and if not here, than to him. And that I have gotten tons of job hunting tips from others on this site.
     
  35. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    My husband is retired and during the school year, he does everything that needs to be done (laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, errands-yes, I'm spoiled), but when summer hits, it all reverts back to me. I can't complain because he does it all when I'm working, but that doesn't mean I like to do it during the summer.:p I also am usually ready to go back in August. Even though I love my husband dearly, 24/7 does get tiring!
     
  36. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Kindergarten31, that's nice that you two have your little system of doing things! :)
     
  37. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Okay, now I'm annoyed because my husband left an absolute mess in the kitchen and living room for me to clean. My parents are coming for a visit tomorrow and he left out a dirty waffle iron (and no waffles for me)! His reasoning is again that he's the one working full time outside of the house. It's tempting to go on strike, but again, my parents are coming for a visit and don't take kindly to squalor.
     
  38. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    Thanks, Ms.I. I am one of the lucky ones-I hear such horror stories about people's SO's, I thank my lucky stars!
     
  39. carlea

    carlea Comrade

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    My husband is great! He sees how hard I work during the SY so he just asks what I did, if I got to relax, take a nap, etc. I'm the one who feels guilty if I do nothing so I try to do some kind of chore every day.
     
  40. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    My husband just came in the office and said in an aggravated voice, "Another summer down the drain." He hopes every summer will be the magical summer the house gets in perfect order. I don't know what gets his hopes up. Like I said, he's jealous of my schedule. But I'm jealous of the fact that he earns more than I do while doing the most do-nothing job ever. Every career has its perks. :)
     
  41. aprilbaby

    aprilbaby Guest

    Jul 7, 2009

    Jealous husband

    I think my husband dislikes my time off A LOT. He denies this to be true, but I can see otherwise. He has absolutely quit doing ANYTHING around the house, including picking clothes up from the floor, taking a drinking glass to the kitchen, cutting grass...ANYTHING. I am not happy at all about this because I earned my break. I do not mind doing things around the house at all, nor do I mind larger projects, but when it is expected that I do more to alleviate his load, PLUS keep our 3 year old at home all summer, I am resentful. I am glad to see that others have similar issues and that it isn't just me.:mad:
     

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