How do you prefer to be addressed by parents?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by IEDUK8, Jul 31, 2011.

  1. HistTchr

    HistTchr Habitué

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    Aug 5, 2011

    I always address parents in a formal manner, so that's how they address me, as well. There have been parents that I have come to be on a first name basis with (i.e. the ones I'm usually calling/emailing every day), but that doesn't happen too much.

    In terms of other staff members in my building addressing each other--we all refer to each other by our first names unless students are around. Sometimes we do address each other Mr. __, Mrs. __, etc. outside of school time, but that is more in a jovial manner than a formality.
     
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  2. Musette

    Musette Guest

    Sep 15, 2017

    Parents call me Ms {last name}, and I try to note early on if we have parents with different last names, but usually the parent isn't offended and seldom bother to correct me. I have children in the school so I sometimes address parents differently outside of the classroom if we are friendly. I have a question that is a little bit different. My youngest is in middle school and one of her teachers doesn't know I'm a teacher. He calls me by my first name, but signs emails and messages to me Mr. __ As I'm 50+ and he is a good 20 years younger, I'm a little offended by that. He never asked me and I think its the first time one of my children's teachers took that liberty without signing or identifying themselves by their first name as well. Even so, I typically call them what my kids call them, Mr and Ms even if we work together. Has anyone else experienced this, or do this?
     
  3. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    I sign all emails with my first and last name. I get a mix of Mr. last name, and First name. I don't care much either way.
     
  4. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    'Your Magnificence' usually does for me:rolleyes:
     
  5. DAH

    DAH Companion

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    :rofl:
     
  6. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I introduce myself as Mrs. Last Name so that's what they call me. I'm usually working at schools where parent involvement is rare, so it's not my focus when speaking to parents. It's not really an issue for me.
     
  7. DAH

    DAH Companion

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    Sep 16, 2017

    Problem, problem, problem! Generational pop culture has obliterated old fashioned respect, and it's not okay. I fully expect people young enough to be my children and grandchildren to approach me with a reasonable degree of respect. Not "Hey!" or by my personal first name (unless I invite them to do so), or that's all they know; in that case they should attach Miss, Ms., or Mrs. to it. If they don't know your name, then, "Ma'am," is appropriate, a respectful, polite address used since the Dark Ages.

    It shows that you're educated, well-bred, and didn't just crawl up out of a dumpster!
     
  8. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    Sep 16, 2017

    I would agree with DAH that this could be a generational difference, although I would like to think I didn't just crawl out of a dumpster. Like this teacher I also call my students' parents by their first name, but I never really stopped to consider whether this was rude or not. I just thought using their first names was less formal and didn't suggest some sort of hierarchy in the parent-teacher relationship (which in retrospect is probably because of the small liberal arts school I went to that made us think we would be teaching in an ideal world). For all personal communications I use my first name and I save Ms. Last Name for classwide communications. It's kind of strange that this teacher would call parents by their first name then sign with Mr. Last Name.
     
  9. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Sep 16, 2017

    I don't usually call the parents anything in an email.

    My emails just open "Good morning," or "Good afternoon,".

    My email signature, which automatically attaches to emails, is signed First Name Last Name.

    Most of the parents use Mr. Last Name with me, but occasionally someone will use my first name, and it's fine. Occasionally they will also mix it up with Mr. First Name, which sounds a little weird.
     
  10. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    For whatever it's worth, if I'm speaking to a parent, I'll generally use last name unless either the parent has told me to use their first name or I can't figure out how to make a guess at the pronunciation (in which case I'll try to avoid using a name at all)
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2017
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  11. MissK2015

    MissK2015 Rookie

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    Sep 16, 2017

    I always thought it was respectful for parents to call you Mr.__ or Ms./Mrs.___. Then if you feel comfortable enough then you can say "call me by my first name" That is your decision though and parents should just assume they can call you by their first name. I had a parent who called me by my first name because he said he thought I was too young to be referred to as Ms. ____. How rude! Regardless of age we are still their child's teacher! Have a great school year!
     
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  12. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    Sep 17, 2017

    If I meet a parent for the first time I always introduce my self as 'first name' blazer as I was taught at school it is impolite to refer to yourself as 'Mr'. I then trust that the parent has had a similar upbringing and they would then call me Mr blazer as it is impolite to call someone you don't know by their first name.
     
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  13. DAH

    DAH Companion

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    Sep 17, 2017

    :rofl:
     
  14. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    Sep 17, 2017

    I should also note that I sometimes call my students Mr./Ms. Last Name, but that's usually only if their last name is more "catchy" and rolls off my tongue better than their first name.
     
  15. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Sep 17, 2017

    It is common for parents to have access to our first names via our emails. We shouldn't be surprised if they address us by our first names. Times have changed.
     
  16. mathmagic

    mathmagic Enthusiast

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    Sep 17, 2017

    I always go by my first name with parents, only using Mr. ___ when talking to students. I prefer the lower-key, less-formal interactions. Many parents still use Mr. ___, even though I write just my first name at the end of e-mails, and I just go with those. To each their own!
     
  17. otterpop

    otterpop Aficionado

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    Sep 17, 2017

    Same, and I use first and last when introducing myself to parents. It does feel weird when parents call me by my first name, and it doesn't often happen, but I don't correct them.
     
  18. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Comrade

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    Sep 18, 2017

    "Your Majesty" has always been good enough for me, although both "Mother of Dragons" and "Breaker of Chains" have a nice ring to them.
     
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  19. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    Being called by your first name is only dicey if you suddenly remember the "now parent" as "that kid" who was a pain when you had them 15 years ago.
     
  20. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Sep 18, 2017

    I address parents by Mr./Ms./Mrs. the first time I contact them. I always identify myself as first name last name. Beyond that, I don't care what they call me. Most call me Mrs. Last name, but I really don't care if they call me first name.
     
  21. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    Sep 18, 2017

    It makes sense; very few parents use Mr/Ms when speaking to their co-workers. Being on a first name basis is a sign of being colleagues rather than servants.
     
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  22. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    Got that T shirt! The wierdest one was a girl that 'stalked' me when she was a student turning up years later with her daughter!
     
  23. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    I remember a professor in law school who referred to students by whatever feature he found convenient. "Blue shirt" was one of his favorite students.
     
  24. blazer

    blazer Connoisseur

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    "Brown shorts" was not so popular:eek:
     

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