How do you have time for your family?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by amethyst, Nov 25, 2013.

  1. amethyst

    amethyst Companion

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    Nov 25, 2013

    I am student teaching right now. I am 34 and I've been married for 5 years. I definitely want to have a baby as soon as possible, but we cannot afford for me not to work. I feel like it will be so hard to have a baby in the first couple of years of teaching- or ever! If I was younger, I would definitely wait, but at my age, my I can't. But I also feel like with all the time teachers spend outside of the classroom, I can't imagine ever having enough time to spend with a baby :( How do other people find time for everything? I feel so bad because I've been taking care of kids my whole life, and when I finally have my own child, I feel like I will have hardly any time to actually be with my child. And I have no family to help, me either.
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Nov 25, 2013

    You make the time.
     
  4. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Nov 25, 2013

    You don't forget that you are working to live, not living to work.

    Sorry if that is clichéd. But you do what you can do, and you make sure that your life does not become overrun with work. It will be there the next day.
     
  5. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Nov 25, 2013

    I'll tell you that you will find the time to do work and have time for your children. I utilize nap times and time after bed times for school work and work around the house. Then I can spend my children's awake time with them.
     
  6. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    It's hard at first, but once you remember that the work will still be there tomorrow, it's easier to leave work at work and do family stuff at home. When my oldest was an infant, I worked at a school that required 40 page lesson plans weekly. I would start working on them about 9:00 on Friday nights after she was in bed, and stay up until 2:00-3:00 in the morning to get them finished. Other than that, everything else was done at school. Now that I have two kids, there is no realistic way for me to do work at home. So I make use of every minute of prep time along with arriving about 45 minutes early and leaving 45-60 min after contract time.
     
  7. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Nov 25, 2013

    I've noticed that people will spend their time on what is most important to them. when it comes time, you will figure out a way to make it work. You may have to 'let go' a bit on work and get comfortable with it.
     
  8. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 25, 2013

    You remind yourself, as often as necessary, of what's most important.

    Then you work to make sure that the time you spend on schoolwork is spent as efficiently as possible. You streamline whre possible. You make the best possible use of summers-- all the work I do over the summers make my school years SO MUCH easier!!!! I do my long range planning, ballpark my short range planning, the works.
     
  9. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Nov 25, 2013

    Every year I get better at balancing work and 'life'. I don't have kids or a husband. I live alone and still struggle with finding a happy medium!
     
  10. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Nov 25, 2013

    Teaching is only a job, not your life. Your family, friends, hobbies - that is your life. Jobs come and go.

    Be productive as possible at work and enjoy your time away.
     
  11. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    Nov 25, 2013

    This is coming from someone who works like crazy, and doesn't have any kids, but this is what I tell myself: you will never be caught up. A teacher could work 24/7 around the clock, and still always have something to do. I know that when I have kids someday I will learn to let some things go.

    I work at a school with a very young staff. We've had a few new teachers have babies during their first few years, and they've found a balance.
     
  12. Honest_Teacher

    Honest_Teacher Comrade

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    I use every single second of my contract time. I also tutor ACT/SAT prep on the side and manage a rental house portfolio, so to have ANY time for my family, I have to be very conscious of the fact that time is the most finite resource out there and use it accordingly.
     
  13. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    Well, I am married and have three young boys: 6, 2, and 3 MONTHS. I went back to the classroom when my youngest, Aaron (who is not featured in my sign in name for obvious reasons) was 6 weeks old. I wanted to be out 12 weeks, but a new position came up that I couldn't resist.

    I make time for my children. As a mother, my children are my top priority. I make sure we all eat dinner together, that I help my oldest with his homework, we have mommy/children night on Friday evenings where we play games, watch movies, and myself and the two older boys actually "camp" out in the living room together. I always take my children with me when I go to town on Saturdays.

    I reserve my planning, grading, and school-related things for naptime or bedtime for my boys. I am *officially* a first-year teacher, even though I was a midyear hire last year.

    Basically, even though teaching is a demanding job, I don't let it steal time from my kids. From the time I get home until they go to bed at 8, I'm mommy. When they go to bed, I do emails, grading, planning, etc. It's manageable--but it does amount to absolutely NO me-time.

    Thus is the way of life for a teacher and a mother.
     
  14. asha

    asha Rookie

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    Nov 25, 2013

    You make it work. I opened a home daycare and 2 months later I got pregnant, and I already had my one year old. I hired assistant and a week after giving birth I went back to work. I was overwhelm to say the least but I just let it go of few things that I was doing previously. I still get o go to workout and somehow I have time to do all those things that I want to do. You will to. Plus, husbands are capable of a lot of things.
     
  15. genermcmillan

    genermcmillan New Member

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    Nov 26, 2013

    Time manage

    Dear it is your duty to find out the time for your family...please try to spent time with your family and enjoy the life...:)
     
  16. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Nov 26, 2013

    I dont have children yet, but i am married with family and friends i like to spend time with. When i am at work, i try to give it between 100 to 110%. When i leave work, i try to leave school there. You also learn little tricks to get more done at school so you arent bringing as much home. Some people get up early and do their stuff before the family wakes up. Like today i am up at 5 a.m because i have some documents to prepare for three of my students and didnt feel like it last night because i wanted to spend time with my husband and catch up on a couple shows we have tivo'd. So right now while he's still asleep, i am up and about to sit at the dining room table to work in these things. If we had kids hopefully they'd still be asleep right now too.
     
  17. yellowdaisies

    yellowdaisies Fanatic

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    Nov 26, 2013

    I don't have kids yet, but this is something I have thought quite a bit about, since we want to have kids in the next few years. You really do have to force yourself to have a balance when you're a teacher, whether you have kids or not. Things do get faster the longer you do it (I say as I'm in my second year - but it's true - things are a lot faster this year than last year!), but you also get more purposeful about having time for yourself. Last year, it was my first year, so I was all rainbows and puppies and butterflies - YAY! I'm a teacher!! - so I didn't allow myself to have too much of a life. This year, things are different. I'm trying to take advantage of every spare moment at school. I'm trying to work smarter. Sometimes I will bypass the project where I have to spend 2 hours prepping because I just can't get everything done. Like Driving Pigeon said, you are literally NEVER done. So at some point, you just have to stop. I'm learning that I am a better teacher if I allow myself to have a life, too. I need time for my husband, family, and friends. I can't let teaching take over.
     
  18. i8myhomework

    i8myhomework Comrade

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    Nov 26, 2013

    You find the time. I think it's overwhelming for new teachers because you are just figuring out your own rhythm and how to balance everything. Then once you start getting into a routine it becomes second nature and it's not as overwhelming. You become comfortable.

    Planning will not seem unmanageable forever. You will have time to do the same things you did before.Time managment is just something you have to master.

    For me, I do my planning during school. That doesn't take long. If I am doing activities for the kids and getting crafty, I will take that home and my husband will pitch in and help me lol, though last week he made the ugliest Turkey out of construction paper that the world has ever seen. Still, E for effort! The point is that if I do bring work home I try to involve my husband that way we are still spending time together. Other than that I raaaarely bring work home.

    Anyway, yeah, good time management and you will survive!

    I love children and we definitely want our own someday, but we are still newly wed and would like to enjoy time together for a few more years before I pop any out. So I can't give you much advice there. But I can advise you not to let your impending teaching career dictate your wants. :)
     
  19. OhThePlaces

    OhThePlaces Cohort

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    Nov 26, 2013

    I had my son at the end of my second year teaching. I planned to stay home with him for one year, but it turned into almost 4. I had his little sister 21 months after him, and I just couldn't leave them.

    I decided to return to teaching last March. I was 100% ready and excited to get back into the classroom. I now have a 4.5 year old and an almost 3 year old. I transferred to my neighborhood school this year (my dream school) and it's made things so much easier. My commute is 5 minutes, and my children go to a great daycare right across the street from school. My son will go to kindergarten next year and I'm so excited to bring him with me to school each day.

    In the meantime, I start my day at 4:15 am... I wake up, go to the gym for an hour (my only "me" time), come home by 5:45, jump in the shower (while my husband also gets ready for work), then he wakes up the babies and starts getting them dressed. We rush around like crazy people to get ready, I drop them off at daycare at 7:15 most days and go to work. School doesn't start until 8:30, so I use that time to work, if I'm not in meetings. I'm also blessed with 3-4 resources a week (50 minutes) so I plan like crazy during that time. School is over at 3:10 and I try to leave an hour later. My husband picks the kids up from daycare in the afternoons, so they're playing at home when I get there. Most days I don't bring any work home, but if I do, it will wait until after bedtime.

    I just do the best I can to be present while with them. It makes me sad to think of all the time they spend away from me, but it still feels like we have lots of quality time together. I try to pack the weekends with fun activities too.
     

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