How do you feel about parents calling you by your first name?

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Em_Catz, Oct 13, 2013.

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  1. thirdgradebuzz

    thirdgradebuzz Comrade

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    Oct 14, 2013

    I'm younger than many of my parents (28), and about the same age as some others. I don't mind being called by my first name, but most call me Miss ________. I sign most notes as First Last or Miss First Last.
     
  2. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Oct 14, 2013

    I always have used Mrs. Joyful! (When I was younger than my parents and when I am equal aged of my parents). Occasionally, I have had a parent who knew me socially. I always would say at school, I am Mrs. Joyful, at church, I am First name, and for the kids, I am always Mrs. Joyful. :) I say it with a smile and make it super friendly. I have had perfect strangers make the effort to use my first name though we had been introduced last names only. I always say something like, "Oh, I never use that name at school. I always use my professional name Mrs. Joyful! Thanks." Most people comply the first time. Some take a few reminders. :) I think it is regional in part. Additionally, it may have to do with the tone of your school. My school wants you to be warm, but professional which includes professional communications giving the courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Mom and Dad to the parents. Possibly our own training plays into this as well.
     
  3. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Oct 14, 2013

    I think a lot of this is also just expectations within teaching -- within a company people use first names most of the time.

    It really bothers me when people sign off on emails with just their first initial and last name -- it seems very cold and formalistic.
     
  4. flojo

    flojo Rookie

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    Oct 14, 2013

    In my culture, I would never dream of asking a parent to call me by my last name, and would find it really strange if they did. With the exception of a Dr/Patient relationship, as a culture we are completely first names with all adults.
     
  5. ready2learn

    ready2learn Comrade

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    Oct 14, 2013

    As many have mentioned I always introduce myself or sign my letters as Firstname Lastname, but address parents as Mr./Ms.

    Now that I am thinking of it though most do address me as Mr. Lastname and I don't recall ever being called by my Firstname by any of my students' parents.
     
  6. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Oct 14, 2013

    I introduce myself as Mrs. Lastname. My email is firstname.lastname. So everyone knows my first name. Sometimes our Principal will use our first name, but not when anyone's around. In the hallways it's always Mrs. Lastname. Students & parents usually call me Ms. Lastname (or some version close to it).

    I did have a student try to call me Mrs. Last initial. His home room teacher is Mr. Last initial. I just said that he needs to use my last name. As soon as I said that, he realized that why. I really don't want to be called Mrs.P!
     
  7. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Oct 15, 2013

    I don't mind it at all! I usually call them Mr. or Mrs. Last Name though. My first name is hard to pronounce, so they usually stick with my last name anyways. I sign everything Ms. Last Name though.
     
  8. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Oct 15, 2013

    We actually go by our first names. Mr. or Miss (first name). However, if I went by my last name and someone insisted on calling me by my first name, I would find it odd. Knowing me, I likely wouldn´t say anything (just my personality), but I think you would be in your full right to let this parent know your preference.
     
  9. alm111

    alm111 Rookie

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    Oct 15, 2013

    I've never thought about it, but I guess most parents call me by my first name after we've established any sort of relationship at all. I sign emails first name last name and address parents by their first names upon reply if they signed their email first name only. If they sign with both names or I'm emailing them for the first time, I use Mr. or Ms. Any time kids are around, parents address me by Ms.; if they didn't, that's the only thing that would give me pause.

    I do feel where you're coming from a bit, though, as I am bothered when a certain parent calls me "Miss", because I feel that's her way of being condescending. I'm married but kept my last name and go by Ms. I know it sounds like "Miss" to a lot of people, and I don't mind if others say that or if they call me Mrs., but this one mom seems to say it with a little tone and it grates on my nerves (or it could be that she grates on my nerves in general, and I'm tacking this on to the list...)
     
  10. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Oct 15, 2013

    When I was teaching, all parents addressed me by my last name. They did that with all teachers at the school. When I started tutoring, I had my kids and parents call me by my first name. It felt weird, still does, but it's a more relaxed environment, so I think it fits and works fine.
     
  11. i8myhomework

    i8myhomework Comrade

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    Oct 16, 2013

    I'm curious as to why some like to insist to be called by their last name. Is it just a preference? Or for some other reason that I'm missing?

    I'm genuinely curious.
     
  12. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Oct 16, 2013

    I insist on using last names in front of children because I think it's important for them to see that parents have the same respect for teachers (and vice versa) that we expect kids to have for teachers and parents. When young ears aren't around, parents can call me whatever they want.
     
  13. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Oct 17, 2013

    For me, I feel like if I call someone "Mr and Mrs" and they return it with calling me by my first name, it's disrespectful. Also it was the way I was raised. My parents never called my teachers by their first name, even those they were very friendly with. The same with my friends parents. In college, a few of the students called some of the "cool" professors by their first names, but me, I never did. The most I felt comfortable with was an abbreviation.

    For instance I might call a favorite professor "Doc J" instead of "Dr. Jackson".

    I guess it's just a personal preference :)
     
  14. Ted

    Ted Habitué

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    Oct 17, 2013

    I agree with the above. :thumb:
     
  15. greendream

    greendream Cohort

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    Oct 17, 2013

    I think it's somewhat dependent on regional culture. Where I live (the deep south), it's common to call female elementary school teachers Miss Firstname. For instance, my son's teacher, an older married woman, is Miss Cathy for both kids and adults. From 6th grade on it seems to convert to last names, but I never hear anyone actually enunciate Mrs.--it's always Miss.
     
  16. Pashtun

    Pashtun Fanatic

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    Oct 17, 2013

    Did calling him Doc J instead of Dr. Jackson mean that you respected him less? Do you feel you mistreated him or valued his teaching less based on the fact you would call him Doc J?
     
  17. janis

    janis Companion

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    Oct 18, 2013

    I've never understood the idea of adults calling me Mr ____, I mean, it is respectful, and good for the kids to hear, but I simply tell all my kids that I have a first name, just like you, and you'll often hear other adults call me that. I understand it, but it doesn't bother me.
     
  18. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Oct 18, 2013

    Nope, but he began our class with: "I don't care what you call me. Call me <first name>, Dr. Jackson, Doc J, Mr. J, Mr. <first name>, etc".
     
  19. Pashtun

    Pashtun Fanatic

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    Oct 18, 2013

    I guess this is my point. You showed him respect, it wasn't the name used or title used, it was the respect for ones wishes. How you act and treat others is a demonstration of respect.

    I find calling people Mr. and Mrs. as well as taking off a hat indoors, somewhat antiquated signs of respect. Taking a hat off iniside because the person behind you can't see..sign of respect.
     
  20. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Oct 18, 2013

    As i said earlier, it's a personal preference. If I call you Mr and Mrs. I expect the same. If you don't, it's disrespectful. If you feel differently, that's your opinion. theres no point in going back and forth on this because my opinion is mine and yours is yours. So we'll just agree to disagree. Have a great day :)
     
  21. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Oct 18, 2013

    I don't mind if parents call me by my first name, although I can't think of a parent who has done that. Most of (all?) the parents I've interacted with have called me either by my title and last name or as simply "Teacher". I don't mind either option.

    I would feel uncomfortable with a current student calling me by my first name because that's not part of our school culture.

    Many of my students abbreviate my last name to an initial. Many others address their teachers, including me, as simply "Miss" or "Mister", no last name, no initial. That's part of our school culture and is perfectly acceptable and respectful to me.
     
  22. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Oct 18, 2013

    :yeahthat: That's a good point. It depends on the culture of a place. My school's culture is to call a teacher Mr or Ms./Miss/Mrs.
     
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