Horrible parent conference

Discussion in 'General Education' started by forkids, Nov 22, 2009.

  1. forkids

    forkids Cohort

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2006
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 22, 2009

    I had the worst parent conference I've ever had on Friday. The parent did not want to hear anything I or my principal had to say. She had made up her mind about the issue with her child - that it was not her child's fault and her child would not lie, and accused us of lying to make her child look quilty among other things. Nothing we said made any difference and the conference ended on this same note. My question is, would you write a note of any kind or just let sleeping dogs lie? I really don't know what to write anyway, since I was accused of things that are not true.
     
  2.  
  3. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2004
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    4

    Nov 22, 2009

    No advice here; I just wanted to say I/m sorry that happened to you. At least the principal was there and backing you up. Your P knows the situation, so if you're worried I might run further contact through them.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,958
    Likes Received:
    2,112

    Nov 22, 2009

    I wouldn't write a note- your P was there, you're covered. Let the parent have some time to cool down...let it go.
     
  5. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    5,621
    Likes Received:
    6

    Nov 22, 2009

    I would write a brief summary of the events for my "just in case" file. Other than that, let it go.
     
  6. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,972
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 22, 2009

    This is what we call in education, denial. The best thing that you can do is to just let it go and realize that it really is not YOUR problem, it is the problem of the parent. It will all catch up to this parent in the long run. This will not be the first time that the parent will have to deal with an issue with this child and at some point she will need to face reality and realize that her child is not the perfect angel that she wants him/her to be. It will all work out in the end. In the meantime, I would just continue teaching and doing a good job. That is all you can really do and you are not going to make this parent happy at this point because she is blinded by her own denial and inability to face reality. What a shame.:unsure:
     
  7. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    1,937
    Likes Received:
    173

    Nov 22, 2009

    I learned long ago when I parent came in with a mad on just let em vent. Dont interrupt but let it flow. Usually you find they need that release and sometimes you give them enough rope they hang themselves with all the bs. And if stick around the child's eventual behavior will vindicate you. Ive seen it all.
     
  8. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    1,010
    Likes Received:
    5

    Nov 22, 2009

    You may want to write yourself some notes just to CYA should it ever come to that, but just continue to do the best you can knowing that you don't have a parental back-up.

    I was in the teacher's lounge the other day and they were talking about this very thing. One teacher said she always just assumed her kid was at fault. She said it jokingly, but there is some truth to that position...your parent will learn.
     
  9. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 22, 2009

    :yeahthat:
    Sad to say; it will bite her in the butt one day.
     
  10. wrice

    wrice Habitué

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2009
    Messages:
    758
    Likes Received:
    1

    Nov 22, 2009

    Sorry! Nothing worse than finding no appreciation for your efforts.

    My thoughts- A little note, perhaps an email, a week later might be nice. "Thank you so much for meeting with us last week. Sorry we had a difficult conversation, but I know we both can agree that we all want what is best for XXXX. I'm looking forward to moving ahead and helping him as best I can. Please let me know what I can do. Have a great Thanksgiving!"

    Leaving things strained runs the risk of further bias- if he gets in trouble in the future the parent may claim you are picking on him because of this incident. You taking this higher ground helps mitigate her angry feelings or suspicions and mistrust. You shouldn't revisit anything that was said, just express a positive hope that we can move forward from here.

    Just a thought.
     
  11. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

    Joined:
    May 14, 2008
    Messages:
    1,074
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 22, 2009

    :agreed::yeahthat:
    :agreed: I would only add that first I would send the note to the P and ask if that sounds ok. He or She may not want you doing anything more.
     
  12. Betty_varn

    Betty_varn Rookie

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2009
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 23, 2009

    sorry for the thing, my suggestion is here please let it go, you are under covered by the Principal and wait some time it would be cool after some days.
     
  13. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,815
    Likes Received:
    53

    Nov 23, 2009

    Just smile and rise above it!
     
  14. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

    Joined:
    May 27, 2009
    Messages:
    2,972
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 23, 2009

    I would not say another word about it... The thing is if the parent begins to think that your "apology" about the events is a real "apology" about what happened in the class, you could run the risk of having the parent think that you are admitting that there was a reason for the teacher to say that he/she is sorry. Just rise above it, remain professional, and remember that every day is a new day and you are doing the best job that you possibly can do. You are here for all children and you are not going to make every parent and every child happy in every instance. Let it go and enjoy your holiday! Ho HO HO! The parent is the real loser here. You were asking for help as a member of the "team" that wants to see the child grow and learn from his/her mistakes. The parent nor the child was willing to work with the "team" so that the child could progress to understanding and grow from a mistake. Therefore the child will continue to make the same choices. It is a cycle that only you can break, by rising above it and realizing that you can do no more.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. nklauste
Total: 371 (members: 3, guests: 345, robots: 23)
test