Holiday Eating Tips

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Major, Dec 12, 2013.

  1. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Dec 12, 2013

    It's Happy Hour here in the Centennial State .... and I feel happy!!... (Note: If you follow any of these "tips" be sure to hit the gym first thing in the morning ......:p)


    HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave the party immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare… You cannot find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill the volcano with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello…..

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. December is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave the cookies or treats behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apple’s and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

    10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention to this list of tips. Re-read the tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
    Remember this motto to live by:

    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

    Have a Merry Christmas & a great holiday season!!
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 12, 2013

    Thanks, Major, I loved it!!!
     
  4. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Dec 12, 2013

    Glad you enjoyed it, Alice..... Lots of "buffet parties" going on for us now .... And they are fun.... great food, great people, lots of fun... Life is good....... :hugs:
     
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Dec 12, 2013

    I happen to LOVE fruitcake...the one from Claxton fruitcake in Texas...my dad orders several a year and parcels it out in small bites...we all love it...good fruitcake is truly lovely. Bad fruitcake is best used as a doorstop.
     
  6. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Dec 12, 2013

    :lol:
     
  7. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    Dec 12, 2013

    Well...if Major says it's okay, then it MUST be okay! So glad I can enjoy the holidays now, Major! Thanks! :)
     
  8. chemnerd19

    chemnerd19 Companion

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    Dec 12, 2013

    :lol: This made me laugh! Thank you for posting, Major! :)
     
  9. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Dec 12, 2013

    Thanks for posting.... You can have an extra egg nog...not my drink...LOL!!!

    I tell my MIL if I want to enjoy a scoop of my favorite ice cream I will...because I could die tomorrow...Life's too short!!
     
  10. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 12, 2013

    Fruitcake! My sister served this at her wedding! She married a Scotch from Edinburgh!:thumb:
    I HATE eggnog! It makes me gag!:spitwater:
     
  11. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Dec 12, 2013

    We served fruitcake at our wedding. My DH is from England.
     
  12. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Dec 13, 2013

    Do you have any exercise tips? :)
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 13, 2013

    My grandmother, Pollie, used to make "Pollie's Pudding" a fruitcake soaked in rum that she set afire-- with great ceremony-- at holiday time.

    We loved the fire. But the cake was inedible.
     
  14. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Dec 13, 2013

    Jogging/brisk walking. (I jog/brisk walk about 25-30 miles a week). If you belong to a gym lift weights (or use the cable machines) and sign up for lots of aerobic classes. (I do weights 3 days a week and usually follow this with an aerobic class).

    On ultra cold days I do my jogging/walking on a treadmill .... although after about one hour I begin to feel like a gerbil ...:p).

    Make exercise a priority! ..... :)
     
  15. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Dec 14, 2013

    Love it Major! :thumb:
     
  16. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Dec 14, 2013

    Does pushing a snow blower, shoveling the deck & going up and downhills count as exercise...oh forgot with winter boots & winter gear on!!! ;)
     

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