Hiding how much you spend

Discussion in 'Elementary Education Archives' started by uclalum, Jul 7, 2007.

  1. uclalum

    uclalum Groupie

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    I was wondering how many teachers out there hide how much they spend (from a husband or other loved one)? At the beginning it wasn't a big deal. My husband knew I had to spend some money on my classroom. But now he just doesn't understand why I have to buy teaching resources and supplies for my students. Every time there is a sale and I buy stuff, I have to stash it in the downstairs storage until I can bring it to school.:eek:
    It's not about how much I am spending, it's the fact that I'm spending in general. He doesn't think I should be the person buying supplies for the students. He thinks that the school or the parents should buy it. The sad thing is, I agree with him! But, since my school doesn't provide all of the supplies, and we are not allowed to give parents a supply list, who is going to buy the stuff?:confused:
    Who else tries to hide the fact that they are out shopping for teacher related things?
     
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  3. born2teach84

    born2teach84 Comrade

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    hehe I swear we are married to the same man and we are the same person!! I do hide some things from him. If I spent more then twenty dollars at one time I would tell him but twenty dollars here and there I don't tell him. He sees the bank account more then me so he knows it goes out. He doesn't understand and I don't think he ever will. His job pays for everything. He doesn't get why I want to spend our money on that. I think it is hard for him as well because it is his money that I am spending as well. WE have a joint account so it is all our money, so he hates that it is going to something that he doesnt get benifit from. It is hard because I want him to support me with the things I need so I don't have to hide it but he doesn't.
     
  4. Mrs_Barrett

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    Do you get a tax break? We do in Iowa, up to $250 for all teachers. So my husband understands that I spend some. On the other hand, I don't spend a lot for my students. For the past 2 years my school has given me $500 to spend towards my classroom, so I haven't had to worry about supplies. I also don't buy all that cute and fuzzy decorations. I make them or use others that other teachers don't want anymore. Now come this year I am going into a new district where I have no clue what I need for supplies. I'm hoping that I don't have to spend a lot, but I will have to buy some things. My husband knows this, so he is ok with it.
     
  5. born2teach84

    born2teach84 Comrade

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    I wish we got supply money. To me that makes sense. Our PTA tries to give us money but it is hard for them since our school is low. I don't spend money on things that wont benefit my students, but this year one thing he really was upset about was a pizza party I threw at the end of the year for the students who had passed all their math minutes for the year. He didn't see why I should do that and I see his point, but in our profession I wanted to reward them for making such a huge accomplishment in third grade. We do get a tax break but seeing the money go is hard for him.
     
  6. loves2teach

    loves2teach Enthusiast

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    I don't hide it, but I do not brag about how much I spend either.

    Dh has his hobbies- Providing for my students is mine :)
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    My husband is a teacher too :)
     
  8. natjoejag

    natjoejag Companion

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    Along the same line, my husband can't stand how much TIME I spend doing school stuff. Teaching school is my hobby. He does not understand that!
     
  9. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Is the $250 on your state taxes? Last year, I thought, it was $250 on the federal taxes.

    I try to buy consumables with school money & room decorations & books with my money. We budget for anything I spend, so my husband knows about everything.
     
  10. Missy

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    I am so lucky that my husband understands I have to spend money on school. Sometimes he even lets me know when he sees something I might be able to use!
     
  11. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    My husband understands, for the most part. It really upsets him that the kids and parents don't provide for themselves and he'll go on a tangent about the decay of society, but then I'll get some graduation notice with a big note thanking me for all I've done, and he just folds like a house of cards. LOL!
     
  12. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    By husband will never understand. He is a "logical" person, and to him it only makes sense that we are provided the tools necessary to perform our job. Well, we all do! But...
     
  13. MissAmy

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    I am so guilty of this. My husband and I are finally at an agreement! I don't tell him and he doesn't ask!:)
    However - it's always money from my paycheck I am spending and not his.
     
  14. Mrs.Gould

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    Right now I've been getting such good deals I just HAVE to tell my husband! Of course, I am a new teacher, so I am sure that will all change very soon! I just called him after leaving Staples to tell him I got 6 binders, 10 folders, 3 pencil cases, 3 packs of pencils and 3 bottles of glue for $2.40 and he said, "Try not to spend so much next time." LOL We'll see how long he jokes about it!
     
  15. I want to TEACH

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    I hide how much I spend from most people b/c they always look at me like I have no life. Since I'm a first year teacher, I've spent almost a thousand on my room. I have bought furniture, organizing tools, books, school supplies, games, flashcards, BB fabric & decorations, el cheapo prizes, pocket charts galore, a reading canopy, fish tank, lamps ....and this list could go on and on. My justification to spending all the money is that this is my first classroom and I should go ahead and get what I want b/c I can use it throughout my entire career. Does anyone think I'm crazy?:)lol
     
  16. January_Violet

    January_Violet Comrade

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    I hide stuff..from myself sometimes because I buy so much. Each trip to the Dollar Tree or Target always generates purchases for my classroom.:eek:

     
  17. cheeryteacher

    cheeryteacher Enthusiast

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    I don't have to hide, thank goodness. This will be my third year and I've had 2nd, 3rd, and now 5th grade. I feel like I buy out the bookstore every year just getting reading materials for them and resource books for me.
     
  18. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    I spent over $2000 my first year! I never tell my husband what I'm spending, because I know he doesn't want to know. It's gotten a lot better after that first year, but he still hates to see me spend so much on books. He can't stand to see me spend so much and doesn't understand why I need it. But I do!
     
  19. shasha379

    shasha379 Devotee

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    Sound just like me,:pbut I'm on my way to Wal-Mart now!!!!!
     
  20. Missy

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    Not crazy at all!!:)
     
  21. TulipsGirl

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    I completely understand the excitement of having your own classoom and just wanting it to be everything that you had dreamed of... Just make sure that you label EVERYTHING as yours, so you can take it anywhere that you might go. This way if things grow legs and walk away, they might have a chance of coming back to you, and also, you won't hem and haw ten years later if you move to a new district trying to remember what you paid for out of pocket and what the school paid for.

    Also leave some things to be acquired throughout the years. People will give you things, you'll get gift cards, teachers will retire, and you'll have saved yourself a ton of money.
     
  22. January_Violet

    January_Violet Comrade

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    Oh my way to Target to get the $15 book shelves.


     
  23. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    We're in trouble when my husband gets his first teaching job. I guess I will have to really cut down how much I spend.

    My husband knows I buy quite a bit, we just never discuss it. I have enough guilt.
     
  24. CanadianTeacher

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    Wow, it's amazing you much you guys are willing to spend. I'll spend on my classroom and on things I will use over and over, but I will not spend for items the students will use (things that can only be used once). However, I refuse to let what I spend be a large amount. I am a big user of internet and just things I can find around. So far so good with that, as I don't feel that I am excessively poor in the resource department because of it. There must be others out there who prefer to spend the money they work for on things other than work??
     
  25. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    I hide it from myself too. I was in school last week and orders that had arrived were piled in the science room. Everyone else had a couple of boxes and I had this huge pile. It was embarrassing. And, because I'm changing grades next year, I have just gone berserk.

    My grandmother used to take me shopping with her when I was little, and when we returned, she would tell me we had to leave half the bags in the car so my grandfather wouldn't know how much money she had. Hahaha. It was a good lesson - get your own money and spent it how you want to spent it!!
     
  26. I want to TEACH

    I want to TEACH Companion

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    Yes, I've been dreaming of my classroom since I was four years old:love: , so it's very hard not to get what I feel I need for my room. I have a stamp with my name on it and I'm labeling everything that's mine. I will also take the school's stamp and label all the things that belong to the school. Thanks for sharing your ideas:D
     
  27. Ms.Jasztal

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    Which grade? I hadn't heard this yet. :)

    And me...? Well, there's no husband, but there's family, and they think I'm a lost cause. I must stop spending as much as I have. I've gotten a great deal of supplies for the kids, and they're fortunate... I just have to make a concentrated effort!!
     
  28. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    I'm lucky, my bf's mom is a teacher, so he expects it. I call him from the store every time and ask, and he always says "If it will make your job easier, buy it. You can't do your job without the supplies." ;)
     
  29. Daisyd

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    Not crazy... just committed (or needing to be committed???:D ) Congratulations on your new job! I agree that you should label EVERYTHING. You think you'll remember it's yours but it never happens. I had a friend who chose ladybug stickers as her "logo" and used it to mark all of her belongings, (especially books) in a visible place like on the binding. It was very easy at the end of the year to find her belongings... she sent the kids on a ladybug hunt!

    Some suggestions:
    Spend your money on items that are more permanent instead of on consummables.
    I have found that I buy very few teacher books now because of all the resources online. Tap into the net!
    Also, you would be surprised at how many stores will discount items for teachers if you ask. :)
     
  30. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Lost cause, hahah, Ms.Jasztal. Yes, I volunteered to take a very challenging 3rd grade class. 7 boys, 1 girl. They have every emotional problem in the book, some ADD, 1 dyslexic, family problems, etc. I am excited.
     
  31. Ms.Jasztal

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    I saw after I asked. It's commendable. I think you'll do fine with them. :)

    I have taken on a challenge in the past, and I honestly wish I would have had more strength, though people felt and told me I did fine. It was a situation where I guess you can say I lost my ego and learned so much about being a more effective teacher.
     
  32. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Ooooh, that's not what I'm looking for, actually. I think it will go well, though.
     
  33. nytwinbee

    nytwinbee Rookie

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    I am lucky too


    I am equally as lucky, my husband is so supportive, as he knows there are are certain things that will make my life easier, there are are certain things that my students need, and there are certain things that will simply make me happy, and he understands why I need to buy them.

    He is all for me building my own classroom library, he even shops with me and definitely points out the good deals.

    I did not even realize people had to hide their shoppings, I actually find that sad, and these spouses need to realize how wonderful it is to be married to someone so caring and devoted to their students.
    Don't ever stop because of your significant other, the more you give in your life, the more you receive!

    Other people might think you are crazy, but guess what, every teacher out there will understand!!!
     
  34. alpha1123

    alpha1123 Rookie

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    I have a hard time passing up good deals when I see something that could benefit the students. I am not able to teach until next year, but whenever I am out with my mother we stock up so that when I do get my own classroom I will be well stocked. I don't think I will be in need of crayons, glue, or pencils anytime soon.
     
  35. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    I understand to a point, but reality is that it's your job, not your life. Your primary reason for having a job is to pay bills and help support your family. Using more of the family money than you should to support your job is to me, irresponsible and inconsiderate and it shouldn't be an indicator of how committed you are. Advice to not stop these habits because of a significant other is bad advice. These kinds of decisions should be joint (of course I'm talking about spending that's enough to interfere with the relationship). Look at Erin Gruwell (sp.) (Freedom Writers)--She ended up divorced because of her unwillingness to respect her husband's feelings. It's commendable, but not worth that kind of loss.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2007
  36. nytwinbee

    nytwinbee Rookie

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    Canadian Teacher, teaching is more than just a job for me, even though yes, I need the money to help support my family. It is not my only reason to teach, otherwise I would be in a different field. I am certainly not using more than the money I need to support my family, as I will not let my family be on the street, or be hungry, because I need to buy school supplies. I live a very comfortable life, and when I purchase items for my class, I am not being an irresponsible shopper. Not once did I advocate others should be irresponsible. If you simply do not have the money you should not be shopping.

    I also did not indicate that this is a sign of how committed you are. I do believe there are many teachers who are very committed who may spend less than me. However, I feel a significant other should appreciate the qualities of a teacher who cares about her students. Not that they are better teachers, but they are caring and giving human beings. That is a quality I look for in a significant other. I don't think someone should change because of their significant other. If for some reason the other person cannot understand why you do something, then you should try to make them understand. I don't feel people should have to hide their purchases, instead need to come to an agreement of what is comfortable for their relationship, perhaps even set up an acceptable budget.

    "These kinds of decisions should be joint (of course I'm talking about spending that's enough to interfere with the relationship). "

    I did not once say to spend until it interferes with your relationship, that was not the spirit of my post, and people who do that are shopaholics, and that is not what I am trying to say. I am not a shopaholic in any way. I also do not drink, do not smoke, do not do drugs, those are behaviors that can in fact interfere with a relationship.

    However, I am not going to call my husband, because there are crayons on sale at Staples, and I would like to purchase them, or because I need a new chart. In the same manner my husband does not check with me for every little purchase related to his job. We trust each other enough, that we will make wise decisions.

    There are many occupations, where people do need to spend money for their jobs, that is just a reality. Whether it be in licenses, exams, seminars, tools, supplies, etc. Teaching is one of them. That is why these purchases are tax deductible.

    BTW, I give to the Red Cross, animal shelters, Salvation army, etc. does that make me irresponsible and inconsiderate as well? My family and I are blessed, and we have no problem giving to others who are not as blessed. I feel happy and they feel happy too.
     
  37. CanadianTeacher

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    Canadian Teacher, teaching is more than just a job for me, even though yes, I need the money to help support my family. It is not my only reason to teach, otherwise I would be in a different field.

    Nor me, but my point here was that for some, it becomes more important than their home life and begins to interfere. I am learning from watching others and from my own experiences that it is such a job that you invest so much of your own emotional energy, but that you must still draw the line

    I am certainly not using more than the money I need to support my family, as I will not let my family be on the street, or be hungry, because I need to buy school supplies. I live a very comfortable life, and when I purchase items for my class, I am not being an irresponsible shopper. Not once did I advocate others should be irresponsible. If you simply do not have the money you should not be shopping.

    My comment about this was just that if people have to hide how much they spend, then it must be alot, maybe more than they reasonably should

    I also did not indicate that this is a sign of how committed you are. I do believe there are many teachers who are very committed who may spend less than me. However, I feel a significant other should appreciate the qualities of a teacher who cares about her students. Not that they are better teachers, but they are caring and giving human beings. That is a quality I look for in a significant other.

    Many equate the two and my point was just that you can invest much energy and time, even money, but that those who prefer not to spend their own money (even if they have it) and avoid letting their commitment to teaching interfere with their family lives can be just as committed but have set limits on how much they will invest in the interest of protecting their 'other life' which many teachers have no more because of a lack of those limits.

    I don't think someone should change because of their significant other.

    Agreed, but shopping habits are not a personality trait.

    If for some reason the other person cannot understand why you do something, then you should try to make them understand. I don't feel people should have to hide their purchases, instead need to come to an agreement of what is comfortable for their relationship, perhaps even set up an acceptable budget.

    Definitely.

    "These kinds of decisions should be joint (of course I'm talking about spending that's enough to interfere with the relationship). "

    I did not once say to spend until it interferes with your relationship, that was not the spirit of my post, and people who do that are shopaholics, and that is not what I am trying to say. I am not a shopaholic in any way. I also do not drink, do not smoke, do not do drugs, those are behaviors that can in fact interfere with a relationship.

    No you didn't, but the thread is about hiding purchases, so if that needs to be done, it must be severe enough to interfere with a relationship. You do not necessarily have to be a shopaholic for that to happen.

    However, I am not going to call my husband, because there are crayons on sale at Staples, and I would like to purchase them, or because I need a new chart. In the same manner my husband does not check with me for every little purchase related to his job. We trust each other enough, that we will make wise decisions.

    Of course, that's the way it should be.

    There are many occupations, where people do need to spend money for their jobs, that is just a reality. Whether it be in licenses, exams, seminars, tools, supplies, etc. Teaching is one of them. That is why these purchases are tax deductible.

    Yes, true...for courses and stuff. The school should always provide supplies, IMO. Specific resources, I also buy myself because I can keep them long term and use them over and over. I won't buy things that cannot be used over. It's only fair for the purchases to be tax deductible of you have to buy them. Where I am things are only tax deductible if you are required by your employer to buy them. So far I've not come across anything that I've be 'required' to buy, so things I buy are not tax deductible where I live.

    BTW, I give to the Red Cross, animal shelters, Salvation army, etc. does that make me irresponsible and inconsiderate as well? My family and I are blessed, and we have no problem giving to others who are not as blessed. I feel happy and they feel happy too.

    That's great!

    It's an interesting topic and my points were just to show how things can get out of hand and interfere with a person's home life.
     

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