Help with a child's behavior

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by Ms.Brandi, May 15, 2014.

  1. Ms.Brandi

    Ms.Brandi Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 15, 2014

    So I have this little boy in my class. Up until now he has been a real sweet boy. Very compliant, and well behaved. Smart as can be. Just a pleasure to have in my classroom. He is three years old about to turn 4. The problem is about three weeks ago my sweet little boy changed into a little monster. He is completely out of control! The smallest remark will set him off. If I ask him to clean up the cars, or lower his voice, he completely freaks out. It's so bad that there is no talking him down. He starts screaming that he's not my friend that he's not anybody's friend. Then he start saying things like I'm going to kick the wall while he kicks the wall. If I ignore him he will continue for a very long time up to an hour. The director has to take him out of the room and put him in the office because he is so out of hand. If I engage with him it seems to be just as bad. There is no reasoning with him or calming him down.
    His parents say he's always been more difficult at home than at school. But they really don't know what is going on with him. They are very good parents very involved. We've had a conference and we are in contact every day. They r trying everything. They've grounded him, take away his toys, spanked him, come to pick him up when he misbehaves, come to school to reprimand him when he misbehaves, they have a reward system for him, they are at a complete loss. They say there have been no dramatic changes in their family.
    I really don't know what to do for him. He is such a sweetheart. Just as lovable as can be. I really don't know what has happened to him. I've tried being tough, I've tried being very soft and supportive and loving, I've tried everything. I have a wonderful class. We have had a wonderful school year. All the children have been very well behaved, get along great, have learned a lot, and love school. But with him acting this way now, it disrupts the whole classroom all day long.
    I would love any suggestions on how to help him get past this behavior. I have been teaching for almost 8 years, and I have never seen a child have such severe mood swings over such little things. And I have never seen such a well behaved child change literally overnight.
     
  2.  
  3. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,697
    Likes Received:
    1,654

    May 15, 2014

    I would think a medical evaluation might be in order. Possibly a new allergy? Has the child been on medication for a recent infection? I have heard that amoxicillin can cause behavior changes, maybe related to the pink color.
     
  4. Ms.Brandi

    Ms.Brandi Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 16, 2014

    He's very healthy. Never catches any of the little bugs that go around. And no allergies that we know of. I spoke to his mom last night and his dad wants to talk to me this morning (they are together, just on different work schedules sometimes). I'm not sure what he's going to have to say but well c.
    I actually suggested to the mom they let him have a week off from school. Grandma is coming to town so she could watch him next week. I told them maybe if he has a little time to just rest and play and relax maybe he will settle back down. He is there every day from 8-6. Most of our parents r working parents so the kids have long days. I'm not sure if that will help but giving him some time to relax can't hurt.
    The mom also said that him getting so angry so fast is really starting to worry her. Because a healthy response to please don't play at the sink is not to completely flip out and lose control of your emotions.
     
  5. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2005
    Messages:
    2,018
    Likes Received:
    153

    May 16, 2014

    My gut reaction to this is something is going on at home. Older siblings fighting, parents fighting you just never know. Could have been he saw a movie that had people fighting. Another student in your class doing the same thing. Or it could be he is just plain tired and does need a break. I have have had one little boy in my class all year and he throws huge fits!!!!!!! He taught several of my other kids to do the same thing. Don't get your way, cry! Don't get your way throw the chairs. It's not that see him getting rewarded for it. They just see it. Learned behaviors are horrible to break!
     
  6. Ms.Brandi

    Ms.Brandi Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 16, 2014

    He hasn't picked the behavior up here. My class is unbelievably well behaved this year. I've never had a class like it. Little angels were sent to me. And he was one of them. Now he does have a brother a year older then him who is mildly autistic. I know he's picked up some things there.
    It's really hard. I mean every time something doesn't go his way he shuts down. If he's not first in line. If he has to share a toy. And it's breaking my heart because he can be sooooo good.
    His dad and I spoke this morning and had a good talk. Mom is going to come in on Monday and observe (but not from the room). And they are going to put him in a summer camp with his brother for the summer to try to give him a change of pace. I felt bad. He was telling me that he knows that so far everything they tried hasn't worked but please don't give up on them. They will keep trying. And we will keep trying. But I also know that there is only so much the school will tolerate. And he's getting close to that point. The only reason he is still here is because his parents are so willing to work with us.
     
  7. brightstart123

    brightstart123 Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2014
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    1

    May 19, 2014

    I agree with you that whether he needs some attention from his parents and he learnt someth8ings from his brother. But it may be possible that due to his younger brother he is not getting that much attention from his parents and might be possible that he learnt that by behaving like this he will get attention. Give more attention to him and talk to him calmly and try to explain him the things that are not good for him. :)
     
  8. ScienceEd

    ScienceEd Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2014
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2014

    1. perhaps he is autistic as well?

    2. how does his older brother act? does he get his way by throwing fits that get excused because he is autistic?

    3. Has child abuse been eliminated (not by the parent but perhaps a close family friend)?
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    6,152
    Likes Received:
    2,063

    May 19, 2014

    It is entirely possible that he finally started to trust you and feels safe to let his emotions show. I've known enough kids who let themselves show at home but toe the line at school. When they get home, they let loose. This may be the signal that he decided he will now let you see how he really feels.

    The good thing is the parents are on board. The bad thing is, he may need counseling and probably won't get it since our society really frowns on using that approach.

    I also agree there may be an underlying disability. Along that vein, has there been some new concepts taught recently or higher expectations about the time these behaviors came to light?
     
  10. Ms.Brandi

    Ms.Brandi Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2014

    I'm don't think he's autistic. I think it's possible he's acting out for attention. I'm sure he's not being abused. I mean I know you never know for sure. But I'm as sure as I can be. I'm not sure how the brother act because he isn't in our school. He's in the place program.
    He was having a good day today. All morning until 1130. Then it was bible time and the morning went down hill fast. He decided to lay on the carpet. I asked him to sit up and he didn't. I told him if he couldn't sit nicely he couldn't stay on the carpet for bible time. And that was it. He started "now I'm angry! I'm not your friend! I'm going to kick the chair! Im going break the toys!" Then he kicked a chair over and ended up in the office. He came back. Had lunch. It was book time on their bed while they were using the bathroom. He got wild. I told him he needed to sit on his bed with a book. And it started again. He threw his book and his blanket. Then spit in his hand. And started to take off his sheet. Luckily then it was bedtime and he's a really good sleeper. Then he got picked up at 330 today. That was a nice break.
    Idk. I have 13 kids in my class and idk what to do when he gets like this. I still have 12 other kids who need my attention. Thank god no one is copying him. My little angles I swear.
     
  11. TchrMelissa

    TchrMelissa Rookie

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2014
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2014

    That's really hard! I have a similar situation in my class and have lost any motivation to help anymore. I'm tired! Used all my tricks. But... your parents seem to be ready to help and just need the resources. My parents ignore it and pretend it's not really happening. SO frustrating!

    Have you or does your center reach out to professionals to come observe him? Such as DCFS or DSHS? Whatever it is called in your state? Sometimes getting that third party involved helps. They see things we normally might not see and can give a professional recommendation. I hope you find relief, help, something soon. It is tiring! You are a wonderful teacher for sticking with him and believing in the best for him!
     
  12. Ms.Brandi

    Ms.Brandi Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2014

    Thanks. I really am trying but there are times it's just exhausting. I mean today he screamed his head off because he didn't want to pick up his cars. I mean flat out refused. It was bad. The director was trying to show the school and he's having a meltdown. His shoes r flying across the room. Chairs are being knocked over. And today I'm just tired of it.
    We did give them some resources. At this point trying to get anyone in the classroom will take too long. His last day is June 9 th. Then he'll be back for vpk in aug. I feel terrible im counting down the days until he's out of my class. When a month ago I was so sad he was moving up. 13 school days to go.
     
  13. ScienceEd

    ScienceEd Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2014
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2014

    maybe he's throwing a fit because he is scared of having to change classes or not come to school in the summer?
     
  14. Ms.Brandi

    Ms.Brandi Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2014

    I'm not sure he knows about the summer yet. But the class change is possible. We have begun telling them (in a positive it's very exciting u r all so big kind of way) that they r getting ready to go to the "big kid class". Most are excited. A few a little more reluctant. That's the case every year. He is on the reluctant. He can be very clingy to me. Ive been his first teacher and first person to watch him beside mom and dad.
    We ended up sending him home after nap. He got up and went outside. I gave him back his shoes and socks that he threw right before bed. I told him when he put them on he could go play. But he threw them instead. Then went back to the screaming.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. VAMath,
  2. Ima Teacher,
  3. SPED-Teacher,
  4. ayegirl,
  5. YoungTeacherGuy
Total: 423 (members: 7, guests: 385, robots: 31)
test