Help w/ a 3 yr old!

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by PennStateCutie, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. PennStateCutie

    PennStateCutie Companion

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    Sep 4, 2008

    To make a very long story short, I have a very immature 3 yr old (who is turning 4 next month) who thinks it is funny to not sit during circle time. I literally had to chase him around the room 4 times today at different points during the day when we were doing some sort of group instruction at the circle-time area. He thinks it is funny, but the strangest part is that his twin brother acts like he doesn't even know the crazy defiant kid. They're polar opposites.

    I tried everything I could think of including:
    • ignoring him
    • giving the "good listeners" stickers
    • making him miss (some of) both indoor and outdoor free time
    • telling the other kids how happy they were making me and M how sad I was that he wouldn't sit
    • letting him walk around the back of the room (which was fine until he started playing with things, which is NOT ok)
    • taking him down to talk to the director
    • carrying him to the carpet and making him sit on my lap
    • having the rest of the kids praise him w/ me if he DOES sit down (even if it's by force)
    • using positive peer pressure by asking the kids to raise their hand if they want M to come sit with us

    I'm getting NOTHING done & the rest of my kids are angels - what can I do with this crazy kid? Aside from the issue listed above, he also isn't fully potty trained (even though it is required by our handbook) and pooped his pants on Tuesday & I've had to work with him today on drinking out of a cup because he doesn't know how to do it and spills it all over himself (his mom would prefer I just used a sippy cup with him, but I refuse - he needs to learn at some point)...anyway, I could go on and on because I am SO ready to vent about this, but all I really want are suggestions...nothing works with him! He doesn't care if the other kids are being rewarded...he doesn't care if he misses play time...and he thinks he's being funny when he's running around the classroom...short of putting him in a strait jacket & tethering his legs (kidding!!) I don't know what to do!
     
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  3. sarzacsmom

    sarzacsmom Groupie

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    Time for a parent conference . You need to meet with the director, and then set up a time for both of you to meet with the parents. If he is almost 4 and still having these issues then either there is a serious bahaviour issue that is probablyt he same at home and can be traced back to the parents or the child has a bigger problem and needs to be evaluated. Did he move to your room frm a different room in your cneter or is he brand new to the whole preschool scene? I know in our center if this behaviour became a repeat behaviour the parents would start getting called to come and pick him up and take him home and if it didn't improve he would be dismissed form the cneter after atime of journaling and behaviour modificatin techniques
     
  4. PennStateCutie

    PennStateCutie Companion

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    I talked to his mom today and the director is aware of the issue, but was dealing with a boy who has been crying for 3 days solid, otherwise my guy would have been sitting down in her office with her. This is his first exposure to any kind of preschool, but I don't understand how he can be SO drastically different from his brother...I think I'm detecting some sort of attention issue, but I would NEVER EVER word it that way to mom...she just said, "yeah, he's usually my rambunctious, impulsive one" - she's got 4 kids aged 5 & under, so I feel for her, but that's no excuse...IMO (non-mom, here speaking)
     
  5. wann2119

    wann2119 Rookie

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    I had a child like this and now he sits still for the most part. Here are some things I have done:

    1. I give him something to hold. I find that if he has something in his hand to look at, then he sits still. It may mean he isn't always paying attention to me, but it also means that the other kids aren't paying attention to him. He knows that if he starts being loud with it, it gets taken away. Usually I do a piece of toy food or something.

    2. I pretend I hear something in the closet and ask everyone to sit still so we can hear it. I say ' _____ come sit down. I hear something in the closet. Hurry!' I keep doing this each time I lose his attention (or any other child). At the end of circle time I go to the closet and pull out a stuffed animal or something that relates to our topic.

    3. We have Bobby the frog in our room. This is just a cheap rubber frog that squeeks and the kids love it. If anyone gets up or gets too loud, I tell them I'm going to look for Bobby. They have to sit still and quiet before the hunt begins. Once I find him, they get to pet him, or pass him around.

    4. I let the kids put our numbers and days on the calendar. In order to do this, they must sit 'criss cross apple sauce, hands in lap' and not talk. Everyone wants to do this and they always behave so they can be picked.

    Hope something helps. I know how frustrating it is to have that one child who constantly disrupts.
     
  6. Taliesin

    Taliesin Rookie

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    Sep 4, 2008

    I would try giving him a stress ball to hold during circle time. If it's an attention issue, that should help. I did this with a student last year and he was sitting perfectly withint a month.
     
  7. PennStateCutie

    PennStateCutie Companion

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    Thanks for the suggestions - I'll try some of them out on Tuesday and see how it goes...fortunately for me, I only have him Tues/Thurs.
     
  8. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Oh my goodness, this is hilarious!! I can't wait to try this sometime. I do this with a "magic bag" - it also grabs their attention. They love being able to come up and pull something out of the magic bag - sometimes a prop to go with the theme or a song card which tells us a song to sing.
     
  9. PennStateCutie

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    I was thinking of putting something special in a bag and telling the kids about it at the beginning of the day, saying that anyone who still had a "blue day" at the end of the day would get the special prize...not sure what will go in yet, but I can find something fun...
     
  10. wann2119

    wann2119 Rookie

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    I read a post yesterday or this morning about your 'magic bag'. I tried that for a change in circle time this morning. It didn't work as well as visitor in the closet, just because they aren't used to it. Still, they loved it. We are studying the letter F, so I put an ink pad and frog stamp in the bag. I gave everyone a stamp on their hand after they told me what letter frog starts with. They loved it! Thanks for the idea. I'm going to alternate 'visitor in the closet' and 'magic bag'. That way they don't get bored with either attention getter.
     
  11. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    remember, it takes two for a chase, so don't chase him. Before you start circle time..you or aide become his shadow. You grab him by the hand. Don't tell him you are going to circle, just go. Sit next to him and he must stay with you. If he fidgets or cries, let him. Then do a fingerplay or song before he gets out of hand. Don't let him run. If he gets away, tell him you will not chase him. Call him back. Stop what you are doing, and the whole room will tell him, he needs to come back. (Make sure the doors are closed.) If he does not return, tell him you will call mom. If he still laughs, follow thru. He should calm down when you march down the hall, call mom and let her yell at him over the phone.

    Plan B. Let him sit on a pillow in the library, do a puzzle, table toy or something else, before circle time-but only in ONE area. He can't go anywhere else, but with you to the circle. If he gets bored or tries to run around the room, tell him he must sit with the rest of the class or go back to his table toy. Otherwise, you will put it up.

    Plan C. What do the parents say? Make them come up. I doubt very seriously he will pull this stunt with them present. If he does, proof is in their face.

    Plan D. Get brother to help. "Sit with brother, listen, and you both will get a sticker after circle time."

    Plan E. Get a koosh ball or little teddy bear. Something to keep his hands busy, so his feet won't move.
     
  12. Prekfreak

    Prekfreak Rookie

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    I have a child like that in my classroom now. We gave him a stuffed animal to hold while on his spot. If he gets up or acts out the kitty gets taken away and it really upsets him.
    I agree time for a meeting. You might try getting a little medical background. Twins are often early; have some health issues; have hearing checked, etc.
     
  13. teacherSMK

    teacherSMK Habitué

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    I would definitely reccomend a parent teacher conf.

    It sounds like everything he is doing is for attention, even if it is the negative kind. My guess is that with mom busy with 4 other kiddos he is having a hard time adjusting to a new place where he still isn't getting the amount of attention he wants, so he is acting up to get as much of your attention as he can.

    I hope all is resolved soon. :hugs: good luck!
     
  14. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Sep 13, 2008

    I decided to make seating chart next week. against my own judgement, I will put the 5s on one side and the fours in the middle, and the 3s on the other end. I need to see and stop the crayon and eraser eaters! and they are marking up the chairs tables and floors! they are twos I tell ya! and they rarely talk. I need to be able to focus on more communication, less wandering, and this typical cause and effect/destructive behavior, or the 4s and 5s will be complaining all day about them destroying their school supplies! :(
     
  15. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    btw...not to hijack, but what do you do with 3s who insist on fighting with dinosaurs? I can't get them to do anything else and they always pick the dinosaurs and large animals at play time, and these end up flying across the room, or my 3s are punching each other with them!

    HELP!
     
  16. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    You put up the dinos. I've had bunches that fought over certain bigger cars and buses. If they continued to fight over them, they were put up for a couple of weeks and reintroduced until the next time they fussed over them. Rinse, Repeat. They may always fight over the favs, but putting them up for periods of time will save your sanity.
     
  17. PennStateCutie

    PennStateCutie Companion

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    I haven't had problems (yet) with kids fighting w/ dinos...I'm sure the day will come, although right now, the "hot spot" at choice time is the work bench & on Thursday it was the cutting center (cutting magazine subscription cards into pieces)...they loved it.
     
  18. sarzacsmom

    sarzacsmom Groupie

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    Continued fighting over favorite toys= no toy
    They shar and play nice or don't have it at all --this is of course after several attempts at modeling and suggestin/reinforcing sharing and turn taking. But to get back to the original topic-- how are thi ngs working out with the child/parents ?
     
  19. PennStateCutie

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    Sep 14, 2008

    Well, I guess everyday has been getting a bit better...
    Day 1 - can't drink from a cup, pooped pants
    Day 2 - ran around the room during story/circle time
    Day 3 - Told the kids I had a surprise reward in my bag for anyone who got a blue behavior day; he wouldn't sit with us during story time, so I told him he wasn't allowed to sit with us during snack either & I marched him up to the director's office where he ate his snack while sitting on the floor. She took him up to the bathroom (even though he had already been there) and he peed his pants. (everyone else got the tiny reward & he did not, but was told he could still earn it the next day).
    Day 4: Super good listener & very helpful all day until it was time to come in from the playground (obviously he does not do well with transitions) & even then it wasn't as bad as before. I scooped him up and carried him inside & he did receive his reward that day; however, I was constantly reminding him all day, "M, I know you want what is in my pocket, don't you?" and that helped him follow directions. I think we'll be starting all over again with him on Tuesday, though, because I'm done with immediate rewards...I thought trying it out would put him in the right mind-set and make him feel good about himself, for making a good choice, but quite honestly, I am convinced that he does not care...and his mom doesn't help much because when I told her one day that he had a really bad day, she praised him up and down for being dry (not wetting pants)...well, if he had been potty trained BEFORE he came like he was supposed to be, then she could be giving him the PROPER feedback, which would be disapproval in his poor behavior choices & poor listening... grrr...
     
  20. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    OMG... I found a pullup on one of my 3s! Director said it was ok. Hmmm. I missed that announcement during the open house night program!

    btw... my 3s are not fighting over the dinos, they are fighting with the dinos. and the blocks, and the puzzles. and crayons! everything they touch turns into a WWF match! :(
     
  21. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    In my mixed age class the 3's often have trouble w/ the pretend play items that are workable for the 4's and 5's. Things like the dinos (that only have movies about fighting) go into playdo where we can stomp and look at foot prints and things. Playdo then can become the focus "make a leaf for them to eat, make a log for them to crawl over" and soon the dino is "just watching you work". They still have custody, but they are learning what to do. TV really works against the 3's w/it's lack of letting them pretend.
     
  22. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    I also pair the 3's w/ older children to begin their stays with us. That way they can see how the older children work. Lots of modeling.
     
  23. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    hmmmm...well said Waprovider! you are absolutely right...to a 3 yr old, fighting is all dinosaurs are supposed to do...based on their reference...

    I really think all they watch is violent cartoons...because they even make the crayons fight!

    I like you ideas!!
     
  24. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    I am not the offical on 3's but I have had mixed ages for the last 10 years. violent cartoons or not 3's think that fighting innatimate objects IS imagination!! They will grow. Just don't let them pair up. A four w/ listen when you say "hey, doesn't that dino look tired to you-try building them a house out of the blocks and scarves." and then you can add that to the things that your 3 can do.:thumb:

    thanks though
     
  25. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    yes!! I don't want to separate the 3s, just to keep an eye on them...because I see they gravitate to each other... and keep up trouble! But the girls will become very clingly if I work with them more... can't move around the room because they will literally be stuck to my leg! I like your ideas though...will try some this week!
     
  26. PennStateCutie

    PennStateCutie Companion

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    My issue throughout the year tends to be anything and everything being turned into a gun...the square for the workbench, airplanes become fighter jets, even baby bottles have been transformed into guns...that's when mine get put away...
     
  27. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    what about scribbling on the tables and chairs??? :(
     
  28. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    All of your children are playing guns or just the "3" in question on the thread?
     
  29. PennStateCutie

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    this happened with my 4 year old boys last year...it did stop after my constant "nagging" about the issue :)
     
  30. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    Our public kindergarten has a expulsion policy for continued gun play, under the no bully act and in reaction to the bringing of guns to school in higher grades. So in kinder it is a big deal. Kinders, get sent to P's office and parents called.

    So playing on that, I have a plan that gets harder as it goes. First 10000 times, child is sent to time out, then when time out becomes a wiggiling vacation I have the child clean somewhere, then after that there have been so many chances I call parents and inform them that child is playing guns and they would be expelled for this behavior at the "big school" so I expect that they will reinforce the need for this play to stop. Or their child w/be removed. I have never had to go past that. Usually after the time outs progress to the parent getting called things are already getting dealt with.

    4's will stop, they just want to know if they can manipulate the system. Many times the children who are the beginners of the stuff like that get demoted from free play to board games w/peers. In order to know that I am serious. This doesn't last long, and outside they shoot baskets and stuff to expend energy w/o the ability to get others into trouble. During this time we are reviewing, or learning for first time, how to play w/peers.

    it amazes me how many children don't know how to play at all let alone w/a peer that may not know how to play.
     
  31. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Sep 16, 2008

    I don't know why I keep having asterisks popping up in my threads... but I don't want anyone to think I'm cursing! :(

    my threes... are still wandering around the room...walking out of the room... moving in slow motion...everywhere but in line or with us at group time

    I want to get the rope with the rings... I saw that in sp. ed. !!!
     

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